Any kinos about life in Australia?

How do people not die all the time just from living there?

because it's a total meme. 99% of the dangerous animals live either small, secluded remote locations. the urban areas of australia where everyone lives are probably the safest urban places in the entire world. the most dangerous thing you'll encounter will be a magpie

Yea, sure thing m8

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Is it friendly?

Fake, no spider is that big and large ones wouldn’t be near homes

that's a huntsman. completely non venomous and non aggressive.

No but they aren't dicks like some spiders. Huntsmen Spiders are pretty harmless, they are just big

Huntsman spiders are harmless

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Jesus fucking Christ, no.

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For you

>judging spiders based on how venomous they are

If a spider is big and in my house, I'm gonna freak out and kill it regardless.

Conan Australia comes to mind
youtu.be/L94M4xQcPYk
youtu.be/DesEUpFgGrQ
youtu.be/GKUhdF1mlT8
youtu.be/fXLrw7XozC8

huntsman are bros they just wanna come chill. when I tried putting this one outside he got really scared

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>because it's a total meme. 99% of the dangerous animals live either small, secluded remote locations. the urban areas of australia where everyone lives are probably the safest urban places in the entire world. the most dangerous thing you'll encounter will be a magpie

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Every Australian has several spiders in their house as a quasi-pet, usually daddy long legs and huntsmans, they kill insects for us and we leave them alone

The Wog Boy
The Castle
Mad Max
Malcolm
Crocodile Dundee
Gallipoli
Australia
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Wolf Creek
Muriel’s Wedding
Romper Stomper
Strictly Ballroom
Chopper
Animal Kingdom
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)
The Dish
Love the Beast
Ned Kelly
Fat Pizza

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That's because you're freaks and also the worst posters on Yea Forums.

my mum accidentally ruined one of ours web houses and she got sad

The Rover.

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thought this was going to be a jump scare gif for a sec

Why am I so afraid of spiders? Literally any kind no matter the size I just can't handle them. Is it just being a pussy in general or is there some other reason?

>tfw know someone with a permanent scar on their face after they got swooped by a magpie

>usually daddy long legs

You mean these poor harmless guys who do nothing but get trapped in your house, fly around uselessly, and die?

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No, these guys

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magpies don't fuck around. americans think I'm joking

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Do you really not know what a daddy long legs is?

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These things are retards

their legs look like fingers

They call crane flies "daddy long legs" in other parts of the world, ya cunts.

>Put my gloves on in my shed
>There's a slug in it
Life in the UK is not so different friends

That's retarded

The Woman
youtu.be/OW5uG1GGu3o

I would take 100 slugs over one 1 huntsman spider, wtf you on about

Imagine them crawling on your skin
youtube.com/watch?v=dNAk6oIKAjI

It's the way they move for me. A stationary spider is okay, but when they start moving, I jump and immediately have to kill it.

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no they don't you tard, maybe only in your cuntry

Like most in this thread you are a gigantic pussy.

we don't have that many scary things. just the mothman

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>reeeee kill it!
cuckstralians are such pussy faggots

This Spider is the most common ones to find in a house. There's worse but really nothing to be worried about.

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isn't this a mosquito hawk? they hunt mosquitos, but people in the South often mistake them for those.

kek

still whiter than you, muhammad

Unironically this

kek'd

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Fuck off pooftah

I once saw two large moths joined together at the abdomen when I was a kid and it's permanently made me freaked out by giant moths.

Tiny moths are fine though.

>I’m a effeminate bitch
K

A mosquito hawk is a dragonfly.

wwl.radio.com/articles/they-are-not-mosquito-hawks-or-daddy-long-legs

These are the only spiders I consider bros. I built a gym in my basement and we have a pact - I leave them alone and they keep things in order when I'm not down there lifting.

Funny thing is I am an absolute arachnophobe, even the smallest of spiders will keep me up at night.
But I have absolutely no fear from daddy long legs, even tho on paper they are the most creepy spider.

Snakes invading homes are a regular occurrence there too

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Not true at all, most Australians live in or near the city, no where near snakes, I live in a semi-regional area and I have never seen a snake

Alien (1979)

IT PROBABLY MAKES LOUD THUDS AS IT WALKS ON THE GLASS

WHAT DOES THAT MOTHERFUCKER EAT TO GET THAT BIG SINGLE ENGINE AIRCRAFT

That's not even a spider, it's a harvestman

Primal fear of something tangible and completely normal, that could potentially kill you at a whim.

Interesting, I'm in the US and do the same with all spiders, even black widows that could seriously hurt me. I just let them live and they eat cockroaches, which I find to be magnitudes more disgusting. I think my affinity for spiders is because I was bit by a black widow when I was just 2 years old and lack an innate fear.

>giant spiders, snakes, crocs and other dangerous shit
>has summer in the winter and winter in the summer
>40C heat

Why the FUCK would anyone choose to live in Australia?

no because australia is a hellhole and we have no good, or unique culture whatsoever

>the most dangerous thing you'll encounter will be a magpie

youtube.com/watch?v=fHOGjd7PJY0

if you were dropped in any australian city on any given day and didn't hear any accents or signs pointing to your location you would just think you were in an average american city. australia is essentially just america with no guns and no niggers, a welfare system and slightly less feverish capitalism. other than that our lives and childhoods would have pretty much mirrored each others

...

I have the opposite, those long legs freak me out.

Most were shipped over after being booted out their original country. I still think it should be used as a penal colony, but for the entire world.

>choose
Aren't all aussies descendants of criminals sent to that shithole to die?

Cunnamulla

It's a doco about a small outback town. You may need subtitles. Showed it to a couple of French guys, they asked if they were speaking English.

You need spiders in your house though to get rid of other bugs.

Every house need at least a couple spiders a mouser cat and a guard dog. That's why we have these animals to begin with.

ITS LIKE THUNDERDOME THE CONTINENT

STRAYA CUNT! *UNINTELLIGIBLE BANTER*

Fucking once found a carpet python in me dunny. Also have a huntsman that cools off in the damp towels hung up in the bathroom. The wife always fucking forgets he's there. Every other day I hear screaming and she pissbolts into the lounge starkers and dripping wet. Once the spider was running across her boobs.

goth butterflies are beautiful

based spider

Nope

That's a Queensland hunstman, they are actually that big.

Test

>horror movie tier

That’s scary as fuck, why is he doing this? What does he want from me?

probably seeing his own reflection and not knowing it's him

Not even a quasi-pet, kept a huntsman in a glass tank and fed him moths and fly's, his name quinn.
My partner once fed it a moth that had wasps lay eggs in it and a little wasp came out and stung my little friend and he tangled his back legs in web and we untangled them with tweezers and he was super chill about it.

Sounds like a good deal

Total bullshit. I hand feed 3 "wild" magpies. They fucking know me and and fly from the trees, sing and expect food. Two even come inside the house and follow me to the fridge to get food. Give these fuckers another year and I'll have them sitting on my shoulder. They only fuck with you if you're aggressive to their nest on 'first meeting'.

wake in fright
t. ausfag

Hell no

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I just watched that with my mom and she vowed never to set foot in Australia. What a strange, barbaric land.

Who comfy yurop wildlife here? The aren't any critters that can kill me out here. Feels good.

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>wake in fright
THERES A 20LB SPIDER ON YOUR FACE

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I'm an american and we don't call them that

>not knowing it's him

Why? Is he retarded?

>the daddy long legs in my bathroom has a rile of dead ants under ut's web

based

Imagine being cucked by a fucking spider

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He's Australian.

same thing

they're domesticating you, not the other way around.

OI DAMO YA CUNT GIVUS YA LIGHTAH

You sound like their slave.

except in melbourne where you will get fucked by a nigger the moment you leave your house

is this the jumping spider appreciation thread?

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Than a tree bark funnel web bites you killing you in 15 minutes for leaning on it's tree.

Didn't know funnel webs also lived in trees, thank god I don't live in the eastern states

Fat Pizza is fuckin based

i get it

Yea it's also far more deadly than the sydney funnel web.

Animals are more afraid of people in every other country except Australia. You can chase a bear away from your trash in America but if a spider decides it wants to chill on your sofa in Australia there's pretty much nothing you can do about it. Of course you can try to escalate the situation but the spider will be ready to rumble just as much.

You're not alone user, I have been through hell and back in life, and experienced a lot of frightening shit (typhoons, tornadoes, fires, even been in a plane crash), however I have only one phobia.....fucking spiders.

For me it is more of a PTSD thing, as a kid I got trapped briefly exploring an old basement, had spiders crawling all over me until I could get out. Since then, the only thing that I cannot live with. I am not exactly "afraid" of them (I have extensively studied arachnids and can spot different species with ease), but when I see one I do have to kill it, more an intense "hatred" than anything else (inb4 but they're our bros user! The kill all the evil icky bugs bro!).

As for the "why" have read many interesting academic articles on arachnophobia over the years, one that stood out attributed fear due to their bodies resembling human faces....have no idea. Personally I think it is evolutionary.

What the fuck does it eat that it gets so big

t.

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>go swimming north of rocky
>eaten by crocs
>stung by irukandji, paralyzed and drown in 5 minutes
>startle a cassowary it guts you
We've got dangerous shit, but for many you need to go out of your way to get done in by it (snakes, octopus, stone fist etc). Or be full retard and go into water that is known to be croc land or jellyfish season.

Instinct it turns out
news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/10/infant-fear-phobia-science-snakes-video-spd/

Bugs, frogs, lizards small rodents and birds usual stuff. I'm pretty sure the Huntsman varieties in South East Asia grow even bigger than our Aussie ones.

Funnel webs live in people backyards in the suburbs bro

WHY WHY
OH WHY

Yup. I live in Sydney and we get funnel webs on the porch and back yard all the time. Same story with white tail spiders, only inside the house.

Yes, and they don't do shit unless you stick your dick down their burrow

The favourite habitat of the Australian Huntsman is the sun visor, once you open it when the sun is blocking your vision a 12 inch huntsman will drop in your lap as a good luck charm regardless of how fast you're driving

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Goliath Bird Eater (South America)......until recently largest spider in the world....they found some cave dwelling spider recently in SW Asia that is larger.

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this is the most australian post I've ever read on Yea Forums

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Jesus fuck deploy the Hydrogen bombs at once

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The fact that you have spiders that can kill you in or near the house is enough. It could get into your shoe because it's warm and cozy and you don't see it and boom, it bites. Or in your clothes. And how do you raise children? Kids love sticking their hands into burrows and poking bugs

It's smiling

>I'm pretty sure the Huntsman varieties in South East Asia grow even bigger than our Aussie ones.
Yep, they do. Here it is, the spider with the biggest leg span in the world, outmeasuring the goliath by a good bit. The giant huntsman.

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what the fUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

If you live in an area with a dangerous animal, you tell the fucking kids not to do that thing.
>don't wander off into caves kids, you might startle a bear and it eats you
Same shit here, don't randomly stick you hand into a burrow that has web all over the fucking place. Though the shoe example might work more if it's a white tail, but so rare it's not worth worrying. Red backs don't kill but hurt, they like dry dark spots and build erratic webs. I don't think Australia has spiders on the crazy dangerous level of like Brazil with those necrotic banana spiders, that shit would be horrifying since it's a spider that could basically be on any tree and it bits simply because you've disturbed it (I assume they don't build webs).

That motherfucker looks means as fuck

nah, this is a harvestman

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Why's it have to look so satanic
Is this the final boss of planet earth

Goliath is still heavier though. The giant hunstman is lighter. And therefore quicker. In fact it's probably the fasters spider in the world too.

youtube.com/watch?v=NXs9npZ7qq8

Is this a spider thread or an Aussie kino thread?
youtube.com/watch?v=KPxJ6RR40ZU

magpies are pricks, you sound like a pussy faggot

it even moves like a spawn of satan
fck that im out

Those ones actually are.

they are both different kinds of harvestman

Australia

Attached: Australia.jpg (261x381, 23K)

>Keeping the vermin levels down in your house for free

This is why I always allow them to live on my property however if caught in my bedroom or lounge room I catch them and they go into the garden.

primal fear tells you to avoid possibly venomous animals. Its in our genes.

>its eyes fucking glow
>the size of a pizza
>runs like the devil
>literal facehugger
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Those are crane flies, we call those mosquito hawks. It's urban legend that they eat mosquitos, but they're harmless.

>mpreg episode
pure kino

youtube.com/watch?v=5_nHE8J3TIc

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Its a boomer/buck Eastern grey Kangaroo. In other words a Male, full of test. They're very territorial and aggressive at certain times of the year.

Possums aren't vermin in Australia

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GOMAD (+5x5)

>Muh Magpie

Fuck off

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As someone who gets possums in the roof all the time, I would say they're vermin.

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SHUT UP

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This is even better with sound.

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Watch this podcast, Tony Harrison, he's a professional snake catcher in Australia. Most of them are harmless, but he's pulled some big fucking snakes out of yards.
But there's nothing more scary than hearing a rattle, in the mountains in Ca. Rattlesnakes are aggressive assholes - but I'll deal with them over cottonmouths and copperheads back east. Those fuckers are nasty.
Big spiders don't freak me out. You see big ones up in the hills here in Ca, bigger than huntsman. But they're dumb, and even if they do bite you, if you fuck with it, it's nothing. Scorpions are more dangerous. And, if you want to see freaky, look up Jerusalem Cricket, we get BIG ones here, like 2 inches long. Ugly fuckers.

They are vermin but tasty vermin, kill about 4 of em and you've got enough for a stew.

But fuck me they sound like the spawn of the devil Hurggghhharrrrrrrrrr

They can be. If there's enough of them they eat trees to the point where the trees can't recover. Also they shit everywhere.

This

More people get killed by alligators in Florida and Louisiana than by crocodiles in all of Australia

and Australia isnt even that hot, hardly any people live in those hot areas of Australia but millions of Americans live in hotter places like Vegas, Phoenix, Texas and Florida

Once again its
Australians = bitch made faggots
Americans = alpha chads

>More people get killed by alligators in Florida and Louisiana than by crocodiles in all of Australia
It's like they have a larger population than Australia or something and we need stats like killed per capita matey

Also stop with the homophobic remarks mate, crikey

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>8 legs instead of 2-4
>more than 2 eyes
>big fucking vampire fangs
>hair for no fucking reason
>make webs to trap shit as if all of the above isn’t enough
>venom too
>drink the water out of the corners of your mouth while you sleep

no you retard
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pholcidae Spider
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opiliones Random arachnid

t. SIDF

How do you handle the drop bears?

Get those in America. Pretty sure it was either one of them or another spider that bit me on the hand while sleeping, but I found one in my bed that I had rolled over and killed that same night.

I'll take global ecological destruction if it means I never have to see this fuck

Eurofag here and this.

Florida = 21 Million
Louisiana =4.5 Million

Australia = 25 million

BTFO you subhuman abo

Looks like it's carrying a chunk of gold or something,

fuck that i'm outta here

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W-What does your last point mean?

Probably an egg sac

What, you didn't know that happened? Same with cockroaches and other things.

Big Lez Show

When you sleep they crawl on your face and drink the water that forms in the corners of your mouth and your tear ducts

What was being in a plane crash like?

You're just pulling my leg

It's 100% true, probably happened a bunch of times and you were none the wiser.

Vipers can kill you if you're in the southeast, but I don't know exactly how lethal they can be.

one of these crept under my slightly ajar window one evening. I don't know how it got past the flyscreen and the windowsill laced with pesticide but it did. I was completely unaware of its surreptitious entrance save for the sound of each of its legs upon the far side of my closed aluminium venetian blinds. I could hear a series of clinks, like pin drops, as it moved across the blinds. Then it came around the edge of the blind and was literally the size of both my hands combined. It stopped and watched me as i stared at it. I ran out of the room to get bug spray and when I came back it was gone

no. how else do you think you reach your yearly swallowed bug quota?

50 fucking people die a year from sharks off the coast of australia

You wouldn't last one day in the scorch

don't listen to them, spiders georg throws off the statistics

You forgot the way they kill their prey
>immobilize
>inject with acidic venom
>LIQUIDATE THE TARGET’S INSIDES
>SUCK THEM OUT THROUGH HOLLOW FANGS LIKE A STRAW

how the fuck are you fuckers posting the Yea Forums? i thought all the internets blocked the chans

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this thread reminds of this video: youtube.com/watch?v=SduT8jclOro

Nope. Average is 1.5 a year. Want to try again?

It's a DNS block so it can be bypassed in 15 seconds

I can't go on Yea Forums.org even with a DNS changer on my 4g but 4channel still works

look at this cute fellow

Attached: bro.jpg (1024x928, 187K)

What kind of Australian uses the ISP DNS?

lmao where do you get that stat?

anytime anyone gets even mildly nibbled at it's a huge story in the news for like a week

This show awoke many sexual fetishes in my young mind.

What isp are you with? I though Yea Forums was only blocked for like a day or two after the christchurch thing?

you can change one setting in firefox to bypass it, it's easy as fuck

Your hopes and dreams, faggot

internode blocked Yea Forums domain (not 4channel) for one day and then unblocked it. 8 chan is still blocked for me though

Telstra at home and Optus for 4g. I had my DNS changed before the shooting anyway so I'm not sure if I even got hit by the filter.

Isn't that nigga like really fucking venomous? Did the guy in that pic died?

telstra is still blocking to this day

Huntsman are quite nice and friendly though, user

how could a cute tiny octopus be venomous

Yeah but they occasionally go full retard and run about the place dropping of walls and shit, can be disconcerting.

>huntsman isnt agressive.
I suppose that the bird layseggsinyourdaughter is OK too ?

>wildlife so dangerous you can lose against them even if you have machineguns

what the fuck is wrong with Australia?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

tfw none of the actually deadly shit loses out to invasive species but all the cool animals went extinct or endangered

the really dangerous things are extremely condensed in certain tropical regions. i lived in northern queensland as a kid. couldn't even swim at the beach because it was filled with stingers and every river or creek was filled with crocs.

The chaddest bugs on earth

Tell me more about this KINO relationship

>I ran out of the room to get bug spray and when I came back it was gone
it's still there, watching you.

>I ran out of the room to get bug spray
There's your problem. You should have slowly, ever so fucking slowly gotten up and tiptoed out of there. Now it knows it found prey.
Don't go to sleep tonight.

the rover

Imagine having to deal with this shit on regular

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

Kakakakakakakakakakakakkkkk

Stfu you little faggots before shoot you

i'm fucking terrified of spiders and insects but they're so damn fascinating
>watching a documentary about ants
>soldier ants marching in a line through the jungle killing anything in sight sometimes ripping them apart at the seams while still alive

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I HATE these...I held a tarantula in my hand, and snake around my neck. but these things freak me the fuck out. The way their legs dangle when they fly, UGH

iktf. This thread inspired me to watch spider feeding videos on youtube.

There's 'Tomorrow, When the War Began', which is like Australian Red Dawn.

It's not that great but they kill a bunch of Chinese soldiers with barbeque which is Australian as fuck.

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>This guy slaps your girlfriends ass
What the fuck do you do ?

No niggers? Wtf I can't wait to go visit

*laughs at you*

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snakes, lizards, reptiles in general and birds are cool i mean i dont fuck with them because i dont want to lose a hand or an eye but they're great
insects are just grotesque bottom feeders

>Did the guy in that pic died?
Yes he did. Dont EVER touch one of those because you cant feel the bite.

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Follow-up, I wanna shitpost on Yea Forums with my phone when I'm visiting, what SIM provider doesn't block Yea Forums? Optus?

>death by bbq
that's how i wanna go

if that ain't the smuggest fucking animal on the planet I don't know what is

It was nice knowing you user, remember to delete your browsing history

Imagine fucking driving a car, and noticing that fucker on your shoulder. rip

Same, based Aussies literally living in mini-Jurassic Earth.

...

>Russell Coight’s All Aussie Adventures
I read Russell Crowes All Aussie Adventures and got excited.

>on your shoulder
That's nothing.

When you're driving along first thing in the morning, you're a bit sleepy and the sun is low and in your eyes, so you flip down the sunvisor and the fuck-off great huntsman who was hiding there drops down onto your face.

That's when shit gets real.

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i hear ausi internet is expensive and slow as fuck due to how it's run over there. also countless posts about ausi gamer bros having very low population and few to no servers depending on the game. as a gamer i'd probably an hero.

pacific rim

>*notices you're too pussifed by harmless huntsman*
>*hides in your shoe while you're distracted*
>*eagerly awaits you to step into my new territory*
>*repeatedly bites through your toenail and injects you with payloads of venom for violating the NAP*

ayyy nothin personnel cunt

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it's not great but no where near as bad as people make out. it was much much worse 10 years ago

When I was a kid my dad made me go to some cunt friend of his house to clean up his shed and plants fucking everywhere, one of those cunts dropped down onto my glasses fucking nearly had a heart attack.
The things in Australia you need to watch out for are funnel web spiders, redback spiders, crocs, jellyfish and snakes.

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Jurassic Park

Ah, fellow patricians

Children.

Fake

It doesn't have a manabar

youtube.com/watch?v=qoaEBb4IN4Q&t

All of your deadly insects and animals are commonplace all over australia. Go to the beach? Die by tiny jellyfish and sea snakes and other horrors. Go hiking? Die by spiders.

He can have the house.

NO YOU FOOL

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The Big Lez Show is pretty kino

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what a fucking retard

Crocs are deadlier than gators. Only reason so many of you die is because you're too slow to get away.

Could you imagine if these were the size of small dogs?

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>smashed to death inside of a shoe

nothing personnel cunt

F

what the fuck is their problem ?

>The octopus produces venom containing tetrodotoxin, histamine, tryptamine, octopamine, taurine, acetylcholine and dopamine. The venom can result in nausea, respiratory arrest, heart failure, severe and sometimes total paralysis, blindness, and can lead to death within minutes if not treated. Death, if it occurs, is usually from suffocation due to paralysis of the diaphragm.

I love this

>ywn walk into your weight room to find a daddy long legs putting up 225 for reps

>"FUCK OFF CUNT WE'RE FULL SQQQQRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

YOU WOULDNT LAST ONE DAY IN THE YABBA. NOW GRAB A BEER YA CUNT.

its true ya know

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both false. It usually does not attack people, but it will and its bite is mean.

u cudnt take out the trash for us cud ya m8?

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awww

Never seen a bird play like that before, normally they're pretty cautious about getting their feathers damaged/messed up.

wtf literal metroids now

based

is that the new PUBG map?

>harbouring the enemy
the ovens for you

>completely non venomous
>"They have been known to inflict serious defensive bites."
>"The effects vary, including local swelling and pain, nausea, headache, vomiting, irregular pulse rate, and heart palpitations"

australia is essentially just america with even shittier internet

Happens in the states too. Pennsylvania and upstate New York are loaded with rattlesnakes.

>dropping of walls
this always scares me more than the creature itself, i don't know what it is

>drink the water out of the corners of your mouth while you sleep
That's a bullshit myth, user. They drink your dream tears.

I see through your lies spider poster

good thread, excellent thread even but can you spoiler these kind of images next time? thanks

don't be a pussy

This kills the man

Fucking mormons employing snakes now?

Cool

Why do they do this? do they just become confused? Perhaps environmental factors?

>arrive to australia
>have to fist fight bunch of kangaroos right away
yeah i'm thinking based

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Fuck yeah

T. Huntsman

FUCK OFF WE'RE FULL

>fuckin cunts raidin me barbie

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Americans

ITT

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As always, the best threads on Yea Forums are the ones that have fuck all to do with Yea Forums

Crocodile Dundee

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Dude im a fairy let me in.

Some Zoomer filming a Tik Tok picked one up lmao
lostateminor.com/2019/02/18/unsuspecting-tourist-picks-one-deadly-animals-australia/

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A cute

They didn't float so good

youtu.be/UROVfmY3NTA
Check this giant centipede out.

They minced good

All these posts, and not one about the scariest shit in all of Australia:

>australiangeographic.com.au/topics/science-environment/2009/06/gympie-gympie-once-stung-never-forgotten/

A FUCKING LEAF

God fucking damn, even the trees want you dead in Australia

why are the hemsworths and every australian ive ever met so sexy?

Wow, these are all great suggestions, so I guess I'll throw this into it despite all these amazing films this thread has recommended.

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gotta be the creme of the crop to survive down unda

The ugly ones stay put.

I only saw large huntsmans in queensland while doing picking fruit. Good money but you need a good farm, and to not do hourly work. This wasnt for a visa, just money. Sydney and Brisbane were rather nice.

youtube.com/watch?v=URfWt9K9G00

>octopus
True. They'll try to flee from you, you have to actively piss them of to hurt you.

Non-venomous ones are actually super nice and will play with you once they realize you're not out to hurt them.

I've heard that all octopuses are venomous but very few are dangerously so.

but they are

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Yeah, apparently so. Played with a bunch in the wild too and they also have that nasty beak, but as long as you're nice to them, they're just curious as fuck.

nationalgeographic.com/animals/2009/04/octopus-venom-hunting-cephalopod/

holy fuck did he die?

>21+4.5= 25.5

Sea snakes are bros, unless you are dumb enough to grab one they don't bite.
Seriously, the US navy handbook has a section on dangerous marine life and it says something along the lines of "they've got crazy strong venom but they're not dangerous because they're docile."

>go Straya
>fucking die

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That's a cellar spider, I vacuum them up at work.