When was the last time you got your ass kicked?

Hey Jackie Chan I challenge you to a fight

I still don't know how you're suppose to make it out of this situation

Kick em in the balls dude it's a goddam street fight

How the fuck do you navigate this situation? Obviously you can't haul off and punch him in the face, you need to lure him into starting it, but how?

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People who do this are always such fearful types. I've never met an actually confident person who has to carry a concealed weapon around at all times.

It's such a painfully shitty situation, there's just no way it ends well for you. Even if you throw down and kick his ass the best possible outcome is you're a grown ass man that just let a kid bait you into a fight so you still look like a chump.

Who the fuck cares lmao, I aint letting a nigger tribe kick my ass for "honor" or some shit

You can do what Louis did - bitch out and immediately get dumped by your date.

>I've never met an actually confident person who has to carry a concealed weapon around at all times.

I want you to reread this a couple times to yourself so you can find the crippling lapse in logic you made.

Just act exactly like the joker. Not even memeing.

High intensity workouts are better than long drawnout sessions. You shouldn't need to go to a gym in the first place.

Do roving gangs of white teenaged jocks really roam the streets of NYC at night beating up random people????

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act tuff. he will in turn act tuff and both of you will act tuff and do nothing. probably.

>white
No

Pussy

Okay, have fun when you get stabbed on the streets

Civilised people fight with weapons, you nigger ape.

If they'd been black Louis would have let them fuck his date in front of him after beating him up and he would have jacked off to it too.

These guys are a pack of literal athletic football Chads. No one here would do shit and yes your date would dump you afterwards.

Just shadowbox

What Louis actually did was the best move.
>bully a fat ginger in a diner
>he follows you home, tells your dad and you get your ass beat
>he goes outside to chat with the ginger, promising not to beat you anymore
>probably beats you again anyway.

The best ending, truly.

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Steel is harder than muscle

I would be able to get out of the situation while keeping my date into me.

This is such a bullshit projection that people who are too spineless to even consider taking responsibility for their personal security use.

>never because I always win. Now leave and buy some Rogaine you balding piss ant.
Wouldn't work for cuckold king since he's already bald.

Wuh?

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you do it for yourself dumbass not for her old roastie

Retard, have you considered that you don't know who's CONCEALED carrying so you can't really say shit?

It's simple
>*stands up*
>You're breathing on my tendies, manlet.
>it took me a lot of GBP to get these and my mother was looking forward to having a mommy/son date night.

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>Wouldn't work for cuckold king since he's already bald.
I actually think that makes it funnier. If the kid tries to bring that up he can simply shoot back with "Of course I'm bald I'm 100 years old, the fuck is your excuse?"

I've carried at least over 1,000 days, had my permit since 2014. .

Outside of some tweaker threatening me at a gas station a few months ago, I've never felt a need to unholster my firearm.

Got my ass kicked several times in the Army, but won more fights than I lost. Outside of one fight in college which I won, I haven't had a fight since.

I'm also a combat wounded vet, and in my experience, the best way to get someone from stop shooting at you is to shoot back.

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In Slavistan I would grab his head and smashed it on the table. Here people are ready to escalate the conflict, which in many ways leads to severe injuries.

Mid August 1993

He looks like a grownup, so he deserves a grownup beating.

How hard is it to learn?

It's not worth it. People with nothing to lose are extremely dangerous

you're the one dead in the gutter, whos the pussy now lmao

I'm so greatful that I get to enjoy a comfortable life in my homeland because of the sacrifice of people like you. Shkoyekh.

>"Shut up, faggot".

Hit them with words.

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I agree, but the woman won't see it that way, so your date is ruined no matter what you do.

date is already ruined

Get your punk-ass away from me, I don't want to know you.

As a kid, when I was in second grade. Also stopped fighting at highschool shit was getting dangerously serious.

i rip the outlet out of the wall and start the table on fire. fucking science, bitch

Exactly, not worth getting into a scrap over literally nothing with some dude you'll never have to see again to save face in front of some chick who isn't going to suck your dick anyway. Every urge you have to beat his ass is just your ego fucking with you.

You misunderstand. The date is already ruined so you at least need to break one of his arms so he can't play sports anymore.

How does that benefit you?

Do you always need to take the path of least resistance? It kills a man's soul to always back down

BIG TIME

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>Do you always need to take the path of least resistance?
Not what I said at all. I've already admitted there could be a pragmatic reason to kick his ass, in which case go for it, but in this case there isn't. It's all risk no reward.

He already started it by threatening you. That's when you take out a knife and cut his fucking throat. If he persists, sink it into the medulla oblongata behind the ear. No person, no problem.

>thelastpsychiatrist

based

>It's all risk no reward

There are more thing in heaven and earth than are present in your account book Hiram.

I'm a full-on retard who's psychologically incapable of backing down from a fight and as a result have had my ass kicked more times than anyone should as a result. It ain't fucking worth it. Save the not-backing-down for when you're seriously prepared to go to hospital or prison over it. Rest of the time just let it go.

Makes you feel good about yourself.

The way you're supposed to deal with this situation is not being a target for it in the first place.

You gotta be bigger, taller, stronger so that little prick wouldn't even single you out. The moment he's picked you, you've already lost.

Hit the gym, double scoops.

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The biggest dude in the bar is the one most likely to be targeted.

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This is like talking to an alcoholic that is in twelve step. Discretion is the better part of valor and I am happy using violence when I thought it was appropriate.

By drunk insecure manlets with no sober sense, sure. But by wiry teenagers out to prove something, they'll stay away.

In all reality, it is not always a choice. In my experience, it is pretty easy to run into someone dead-set on fighting, and you're just the first guy that they ran into. There is fight/flight/freeze responses, though I will always recommend standing up for yourself. Fight back, be a man. Most I fought were sloppy angry drunks. Thomas Hobbes had a point in saying that the smarter party could defeats a stronger party simply by out-thinking them.

>Evaluate your enemy
>Take perspective on the surrounding environment
>and how that environment could be used against your present foe
>stay close to your allies, guys that can back you up.
> have that castle, and depend on it everyday

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LOVE WHEN SOME NGROID STARTS MAD DOGGING YOU ON THE STREET AND YOU DONT BREAK EYE CONTACT

SOMETIMES THEY START SWAYING THEIR SHOULDERS LIKE ITS REAL APE TIME
JUST KEEP LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM AND THEY BREAK OFF AT THE LAST MINUTE

LITERALLY NEVER FAILS, ALL I FIND ARE FAKE ASS NIGGAS LMAO

TYFYS

If it was this guy? I'd laugh, ask if he's serious and if he wants to take it outside then just smash on. Otherwise if he keeps nagging just deck him in the face or grab his head and tuck it under me like a football. If it was some huge dude who fucking knows

Louis is bigger than this kid easily

I heard you guys rape each other in the military and that when it comes down to a fire fight you would defend your rapist because he is still part of your unit. Is that true?

Yeah.

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Good evaluation.

The most important thing to remember in a situation like this is that there are no rules. Usually an asshole like this will seek to beat you "clean" by some code. When you engage someone in a street fight, you need to throw rules out the window and look to neutralize your opponent quickly. Headbutts, knees, elbows, gouging their eyes, even biting if necessary. Channel your inner ape and look to inflict as much damage as possible with the god-given weapons you have.

They should put that in the recruitment ads, 3 square meals a day and all the ass rape you can handle

The military is basically like prison except you have to shoot people and get shot at.
Same food, same living arrangements, not allowed to leave, assrape, full of aggressive brainlets and criminals.
Why would anybody join? Fucking methheads have better quality of life.

you can call his bluff or just defuse the situation better than louie does here

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Put it this way, why the fuck would they need to advertise so much if it was so great? Before Iraq a recruiter said I would get the equivalent of a Sargents pay if I married my fat girlfriend and deployed. Great 55 thousand a year to get cucked by a ham beast and shot at by dung merchants

Oh, it's easy, you say something like
>What do you want from me? You want me to suck your cock or something? Is that what you're after?
Then he'll be disgusted and try to leave. That's when you grab him and start explaining him that you haven't got an issue sucking sausage.
He'll grab his friends and try to get away, you just follow them and start talking loudly about the things you'd be willing to do to him sexually.

Okay, why don't you tell me what that "thing" is in this situation, other than irrationally soothing your fragile ego, assuming you even get the better of him?

The only semi-rational reason is "he deserves it" which is definitely true, but again does not warrant you risking legal or medical repercussions because you have zero stake in this asshole learning a valuable lesson, as that lesson is only valuable TO HIM; you will never interact with him again.

> 40 pushups
> 100 crunches
My fucking sides

god that's fucking awesome

Been in 2 'fights' both on the basketball court in high school. I was 6'4 190 ottermode then. Not big but not small either. Played small forward and shooting guard since I had a good shot and athleticism.

Fight 1:
>beating opposing team by 15 points
>3 min left
>get a 2 on 1 fast break off a steal
>I'm talking our point guard
>1 defender is 6'6 black fat kid who was super cocky coming into the game
>our center outplayed him by a lot and he was tired so he stayed back
>I have a 30 inch vert and im trailing
>pg drives in and tosses it off the glass
> I posterize this kid and give him a stare down
>he gets pissed and puts his hands up
>oshit
>I just start pivoting around while he's swinging at me
>he's tired so he telegraphs every punch
>get a good dodge and punch him over his ear
>he slams me in the stomach but by this point both teammates and coaches are pulling us away from each other

Fight 2 was literally just a loose ball where a kid and I ended up wrestling after he elbowed me in the face to try to get me to let go. got a good headlock on that kid.

I dont look for fights because you can paralyze yourself falling wrong on pavement.

It seems like you are trying to justify your lack of engagement by accusing others of having "fragile egos" Kind of like a fat person telling someone that goes to the gym he's a "pretty boy" Your post hoc justifications are very transparent but understandable and explain my point precisely. Your cowardice has hurt you so much that you feel the need to justify it calling those that are brave enough "Vain" and "Egotistical"

>It seems like you are trying to justify your lack of engagement
I've been in fights, I've won fights, I've lost fights, I've seen what can happen. I'm not taking one when there is literally zero benefit to me. You talk like someone who has never been in a scrap in his life and thinks it's going to be exciting or fun. I can promise you it's not. Oh, and you still haven't given a single actual reason, by the way.

Just bullshit, and not even close to truth. We have enough barracks whores to satisfy mostly everyone. Just need to get rodded time to time to check for STD/VD.

We fight with other battalions all the the time in the states, though one of us are in trouble, we back each other up without a thought. That is across branches, we help out when needed. We all wear the same flag, but also heard the same with foreign forces doing the same and us vice versa.I did Iraq, but heard the same from my buddies that did Afghanistan.

Coalition is all about having each others back.

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this scene stresses me the fuck out too. It's another pressure filled situation where you are just fucked and nothing you say or do matters
wish there were more examples of stuff like this

Mind if I save this pic?

No, it's his.

>walking down street
>2 niggers in front of me
>one of them keeps looking back at me and whispering something to his friend
>assume its because I look funny, I am 130lbs, 6'1 and have hair down to my knees, so it would make sense
>just keep walking
>eventually they turn a corner
>i turn the same corner
>they are standing still
>i walk past
>feel a tug on my hair
>turn around
>one of them has pulled my hair, he is holding a twig
>'this fell out of your hair. are you going to pay us for saving it for you?'
>i try and assume its just a joke
>'haha, no thanks!'
>they approach me and one of them grabs my arm
>realise its a mugging attempt
>try to charm them so they'll leave me alone, literlaly think life is like 'you aite wite boy' memes
>'No Niggers, thats not my twig! this hair be needing a TREE namsayin? The butterfly babes can nest in this sheet!'
>they stare at me
>one of them shoves me over
>i try toget up and fight back
>grab one of their knees
>he pushes it forwards and knocks me in the nose
>they beat me on the ground
>steal my shit and leave me, i had to go to hospital for 2 broken ribs

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Yes, unfortunately it is.

Do what you want bro, just don't claim it as your own.

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Well put it this way, are there somethings in life that you believe are pointless but still done because of tradition?
What isn't meaningless to you? What is life all about?

>I am 130lbs, 6'1 and have hair down to my knees
You should have just scared them away by pretending to be slenderman or some shit.

>Well put it this way, are there somethings in life that you believe are pointless but still done because of tradition?
This is vague. Form a coherent argument and articulate it to the best of your ability, please.
>What isn't meaningless to you?
Many, many things.
>What is life all about?
My family, who are dependent on me to be alive and not in prison, so I avoid pointless fights with shit stirring prematurely balding kids in diners.

If he puts his hands on me I'll ruin his day, but until that happens I'm not not going to escalate and I stand by my assumption that you have a fragile ego if you do.

>realize you're getting mugged
>make a joke instead of either running or jumping on those niggers
Never gonna make it.

is that bad?

BODYWEIGHT EXERCISES WONT DO SHIT

LIFT THINGS UP AND PUT THEM DOWN

>shit stirring

Ah now it makes sense, I'm talking to a filthy Australian or some other Anglo here aren't I? Alright I will try but will you act deliberately obtuse to whatever I write? My guess is maybe. What will someone who barely qualifies as a human being accept as a cogent argument?

It's fine, he's just an autistic /fit/izen. I used to be like him and would probably chastise you for not doing a complex free weight routine but then I grew up.

You could do a lot better, though, so if you're interested in getting genuinely fit do some research.

You can't stop me.

tell him to fuck off?

>tell him to fuck off?
>he doesn't
wow... good one genius

See the irony here is that you have realized you've lost the argument, so you've transitioned to troll mode in order to pretend that was your goal all along. So, in demonstrating a pretty stunning lack of self-awareness, you've managed to prove my point tenfold. Your ego is so absurdly fragile that you can't concede a civil discussion on an anonymous image board and are making the most desperate and pathetic attempt to save face imaginable. In all seriousness though, that pattern of behavior is pathological and you should probably seek professional help. Good luck to you, user.

then shove him aside, he'll fuck off or hit you. Just kick him in the nuts or something.

The weird part is that real life Louis CK would just unzip and start masturbating in front of the kid.
And that would actually completely defuse the situation.

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I hope you get sued for slander bro. Louis always asked for consent and he only did it if they said yes.

Then have at it, won't be the first time someone has stolen my my military identity. Still doesn't make you experience what we did, and explaining it to other will be a challenge since you don't know the first thing about being deployed.

So have at it, you'll only make yourself look like a fool when you can't defend what you claim to experienced. I still have my honor, what do you have exactly?

DEFUSING IS FOR FAGGOTS

IF SOMEONE COMES AT YOU ITS FUCKING TIME

BE SOMEONE NOBODY WANTS TO FUCK WITH BUT NO PUSSYING AROUND WHEN SHIT STARTS

Well ignoring all your sophistry, what would you accept? Do you see life as just a series of pragmatisms and priorities where the self is subject to the demands of the other and all human interactions are to be weighted against a scale leaning heavily toward base, animal requirements in order to sustain a meaningless existence?

>then shove him
so... assault a minor because he said not nice things to you. Brilliant. Any other genius ideas?

Hey, if the kid just stands there watching, that's the same as consent, right?

That would be based

/k/ is always talking about barrack twinks though.

>what do you have exactly?
I have this.

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I never got my ass kicked

based

>When was the last time you got your ass kicked?
Yeah every bodies a tough guy until they get charged with assault, dragged through the courts, have to mortgage their parents house to pay legal fees, maybe do some jail time with hard criminals, loose their job and struggle to find a new one due to being a criminal.

scream for help, call the police

>reductio ad absurdum

But he's got a point. Actual fights suck. You break bones, you may end up concussed, or stabbed- and even if you end up winning, healthy and unharmed, you may have caused all sorts of grievous injury to the other guy you'd be legally responsible for.

>legally responsible for defending yourself from some asshole threatening you
>florida man can murder an unarmed nigger with a gun and say he was "defending himself," no charges
>beating the shit out of some white guy and you're in trouble son
Fuck America.

ITS MORE LIKE EXEMPLUM AD EXTREMIS

NO REASON TO LOOK FOR FIGHTS BUT TAKING A BEATING USUALLY TURNS OUT WORSE THAN GIVING A BEATING

stop writing in caps you nigger the fucks wrong with you

AYO U WANT SUMA THIS SHIT MOTHAFUCKA

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Never happened, never been in a real fight, I was too tall and fat in school. And I don't hang around retards that start shit.

Obviously he means you should have some sort of crowbar on you at all time

Literally just try and be funny. Be confident, but realistic, crack a few jokes, and then he should leave you alone.

The entire point of a sense of humor is as a defense mechanism anyway.

What jokes should you tell?

I'M A BIG GIANT PUSSY WHO BACKS DOWN FROM FIGHTS HAHA!

So he's insulting you and you like "hahaha yeah you right man"?

Thank you for your service

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HES A NIIIIGGER! HEEEES A NIIIIIGER! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass!

Still zero argument in favor of fighting. You might as well be arguing "Why does everything have to be pragmatic?" with someone telling you not to stick a lit candle up your ass.

>complains about sophistry
>writes a block of empty word salad immediately after
Never mind how bloated and pretentious everything you wrote up until now was, sans the le eternal Anglo autism. If this exchange happened on Yea Forums you would have been torn to shreds by now.

I’ve never been in a real fight and that haunts me so I work out and take Muay Thai lessons but even still I have this nagging fear that if something ever does happen I’ll be caught off guard or just get unlucky and then get my ass kicked.

The last day I didn’t have a gym membership

When I was in high school I tried to be that guy, except the situations were flipped. A bunch of basketball jocks I didn’t know kept staring at me in the cafeteria so one day I marched up to the table and tried the whole passive-aggressive-fake-friendly thing the thug in Louie does. They just stared at me until I felt stupid and walked off.

>mfw a robot tries to be hard

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It was 10 years ago, I was at a LAN party about 10 people and for some reason this dude brought his girlfriend along.

She was obviously bored so she started talking with me. She seemed alright good taste in kino but then she started making sex puns. She said "when your done eating that you can start on me" and dude went ballistic and just started wailing me.

Like mate control your pussy I didnt even fuckin do anything you brought your girl to be in the dark with 9 other dudes lol.

>Do you see life as just a series of pragmatisms and priorities where the self is subject to the demands of the other and all human interactions are to be weighted against a scale leaning heavily toward base, animal requirements

That's literally what you're advocating. The whole reason you want to fight in that situation is because you evolved with an instinct to maintain your position in the small social hierarchy of a tribe. It's pure animal instinct predicated on weighing survival against replication. Problem is, you're not in a tribe in that situation, you're a guy in a city of millions of people who you don't know and who don't know you, facing off with a stranger who has no impact on your future odds of replication, only those of your immediate survival.

get your ass beat like the cuck you are

Based as fuck Viscant.

seeing as he is asian im gunna say all of them

What the fuck i saw this exact post like a year ago

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>take Muay Thai lessons but even still I have this nagging fear that if something ever does happen I’ll be caught off guard or just get unlucky and then get my ass kicked

Spar often. Don't go hard, just keep at it.

russian trolls are paid to post here, not joking

Cool story bro.

All you guys keep doing (and I hate to say it) is reduce everything to a autistic calculation of cost benefit. What about your own estimation of yourself? "Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day"

Your risk of rape is honestly probably even higher than in prison

picked a fight with a 18 year old when i was only 13 because i was a stupid fucking kid i got seven shades of shit kicked out of me

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That’s the exact opposite of Louie’s case. He had a date, avoided a fight but lost the date’s respect. You were alone, got beaten up but also got hit on by the girlfriend of the guy who kicked your ass. You are the Anti-Cuck.

When was the last time you got stabbed?

>What about your own estimation of yourself?
i.e. feed your ego. Which is what you might feel the need to do if you've never actually been in a fight and need to prove to yourself that you can do it. Been there, done that, don't need to do it again. I hope it goes well for you if and when you finally pop that cherry.

What is ego to you? I think you've been brainwashed to think so negatively about your own metanarrative. What are we if not the sum of our actions? do cowardly things are you not a coward? Discretion is the better part of valor but not the only part

>I think you've been brainwashed to think so negatively about your own metanarrative
No, I've made a well informed decision to at make the token effort to come home to my wife and kids in one piece because I'm an adult with responsibilities. My metanarrative already has enough pointless fight subplots. You go for it, though. Come back and let us know how it worked out.

>mfw discovered

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*tips fedora*

Havnt fought and havnt needed to fight since high school. Lmao at you people living in shitholes.

55 thousand is shit money when it's for your every waking moment.
I get 60 for 8 hours a day and I sleep in my own bed. 55 for 24 hours a day is less than minimum wage.

If your only argument is to assert that I advocate for pointless fighting than fine But I wonder at what point you would no longer use the excuse. I'm sorry I even mentioned the term meta-narrative as it seems to confuse dumb dumb doo doo brains, no offense.

Seriously stop shitting out buzzwords to illustrate your shitty nonsensical point, you're actually pissing me off thinking you're smart when in fact you sound exactly like Carmine Jr from the Sopranos.

>guy literally does this same to me except in the middle of class in high school
>just for no reason at all
>ignore him and tell him to shut up, but still dread him showing up everyday
>he eventually drops out

ez gottem

OK Einstein who also happens to be a badass that defends his "valor" in every situation.

if he looks anything like that guy in OPs pic, tell him he's what he has to look forward to in his 30s. He'll cave because he knows how much of a baldlet he is.

Look pal there are words that describe things more complex than what is commonly used. I'm sorry that you got bullied by your crabs in a bucket school chubs for trying to better yourself. That doesn't make me pretentious just because YOU are a brainlet

>100 crunches
So you mean you do like 20 crunches until someones walks in and you grunt "uuuugggh 100"

Go back

Anyone who uses the word "metanarrative" in an argument about getting into a fight is a pseud faggot who's talking out of his ass to save face.

>*squirts Tabasco in his eyes*

Based post, brainlets (and cowards) fucking SEETHING.

Oh yeah? well fuck your dead mother. Letting school kids bully you whilst out on a date? Pathetic the lot of you.
Meta narrative is pseudo intellectual? in what fucking way? You examine life, you use terms describing abstract concepts

this is the most unrealistic shit I've ever seen. If you can't diffuse the situation naturally, just start talking shit back to him. If he gets in your face and threatens you tell him to do something, put your camera in his face and film him, make it a scene cause youre in fucking public and regardless he won't get away with it. If he suggests his friends are gonna kick your ass call him a pussy little bitch for not fighting you 1on1. Scenes stupid as fuck.

*smirks and slowly lowers hand to katana hanging from my belt next to a zip bag of cheetos*

Pssh...I know it won't be today, kid...

>I'm sorry I even mentioned the term meta-narrative as it seems to confuse
There is no indication that it did, but you hoped that it would so you could insult someone and when it didn't work you went ahead and tried to anyway because that's what you had planned. You're as transparent as you are pathetic.
>If your only argument is to assert that I advocate for pointless fighting
You haven't given a single coherent reason for fighting in that situation. Your only argument has been that others are against anything that doesn't balance a checkbook, which is an statement absolutely nobody in this thread has made nor even implied. It's a batshit insane leap of logic you're making because you opened your dumbass mouth without thinking and now you're stuck between plucking buzzwords from the aether without an iota of context, and tonguing your cheek just in case you need to fall back on the troll angle again. If you have an actual point to make just make it.

Christ, no wonder you have to qualms about pointless fights. I bet you overestimate your capacity for combat as much as you do your intellect, you useless cunt.

>Meta narrative is pseudo intellectual?
He didn't say the concept was pseudo-intellectual, he said the context you brought it up made it so. I'm pretty sure you have a severe learning disability, dude.

DON'T MAKE ME SUCK YOUR DICK!

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nigga how you gonna beat up bullies in real life when you cant even put up a good fight against bullies on the internet

You're the bright guy who thinks he can break the kids arm when he's with 6 grown men bigger than you. Jesus christ, this isn't some fucking essay, you don't need to talk like some pretentious reddit tool to make a convicing point, it's quite the opposite actually.

I got jumped by like six guys while walking home my Junior year of high school. Didn't do anything to deserve it, but basically I had a running brawl down a street with them all trying to pin me down and beat the shit out of me. I got a black eye, bruises around my neck, but we eventually hit the corner and the people they were actually beefing with spotted them and I got my ass kicked hard as fuck because I was suddenly in the middle of ten man brawl and getting punched by both sides.

I've never lost a straight up fight, but I've had some horrible fucking luck in terms of just getting caught in the cross fire of stuff. Put me in front of a single guy who wants to fight, I'll beat his ass a good portion of the time. I'm the smallest of all my cousins and learned how to fight real early in my life. But I've fucking had the worst fucking luck.

>I bet you overestimate your capacity for combat

I was a bouncer for several years and for what it's worth maybe my opinion is biased on account of me being 6' 3" and you probably are considerably shorter.

2014-5

Yes let's all write like we are in sixth grade shall we? anyone that deviates is a try-hard right?

LEFT WINGER FROM THE HOCKEY TEAM GOT MUGGED FOR A DOMINOS CARRYOUT PIZZA ONCE WE LAUGHED AT HIM FOR WEEKS

Oh yeah ? So you can beat up 6 grown men in a single fight?
>also bringing up your height thinking it has any real merit
>bragging about being a bouncer
Has to be a troll

Nice bio, tell me about your hobbies and link your livejournal next, faggot.

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lol just like dogs
jfl if you think humans are different from other mammals

you'd love that I'm sure, but only if he fucked your ass after beating the shit out of you

BACK THE FUCK OFF!?!!

I'm sure your opinion isn't because you don't have the option anyway. Its never worth it if you are built like Aziz Ansari

>There are 7 billion people in the world and it only takes 1 to be a bitch.
What the fuck ching chong? Wanna run your retarded tryhard Confucius shit through Google translate again?

they're niggers though

The title of the thread is a reference to a good article that analyzes the situation. Worth a read if you're wondering what to do.
If I was in the situation I think the optimal thing to do would be to tell him to fuck off the second he came up to the table and opened his mouth. You don't let those people have air time and you don't show fear. Just tell him "fuck off kid" and turn back to the girl. If he continues to bother you, laugh, turn around and tell him to fuck off again.
If he continues, you have a few options.
>Insult him until he tries to fight you, then fight him.
>Laugh at him, get up and tell your girl "This fucking prick. Let's go honey." or some equivalent. Ignore whatever he says and slowly leave. If he tries to stop you, tell him to get the fuck out of your way or you'll hit him.
>Say "want me to call the cops? get the fuck out of here kid".
There's a number of other options. What's important is that you don't show weakness or fear.
Also, its important to look tough and dominant. You can't help height, but do you take care of yourself? Are you fat? If so, get lean. Dress like you respect yourself. Carry yourself like you respect yourself. Put on some muscle. Take lessons in a serious martial art, to give you confidence.

>Not acting non hostile and then going to the bathroom and calling up your cousins to come by and beat the shit out of this puta gringo together 15 minutes later

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What is this scene?

Do you honestly believe this?

BASADO and VATOpilled

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Not that guy, but I'll admit I'm a middling fighter (among fighters, at least). Years ago I managed to roll my way to a purple belt at a Gracie gym where I met quite a few people who fight professionally. Every single one of them would destroy a glorified doorman like you in a fight, and every single one of them thought people that get into real fights over dumb shit are fucking retarded. You're doing it to prove to yourself you can do it, which means deep down you doubt yourself and your sense of self-worth hinges on it. It's time to grow up, bud.

Ah yes, the beaner racial bonus "call family"

Completely dodged my question to project your life onto me. Okay, we get it. You're a 6'4 Supermodel with 150 IQ and a 10 inch cock, you have world class MMA skills and punk anyone who gets in a confrontation with you. Alright you want your gold medal for winning the internet tough guy olympics?

*Y VATOPILLED

Oh yeah shit on me because Im working class whatever. Look I wouldn't let myself get bullied by some kid ok. Would your friends be ok in this scenario in particular? Would they pull a louie? I don't think so do you?

To add to this, it wouldn't work in this situation but ignoring sketchy types and giving them cold hard nos repeatedly and firmly works well. Just shut down whoever you don't want to talk to. I use this on weird homeless looking sketch types all the time.
>walking in the park
>black dude who looks homeless starts walking at me
>pointedly ignore him
>he gets close, has a heavy accent says "Hey man can I get a cigarrette?"
>"No."
>"Come on man pl-"
>"No. Leave me alone."
>Walking past him, he tries to follow
>"Hey man come on st-"
>"No. Fuck off."
Just don't even treat them like human beings, like they're completely beneath your notice. I notice that this really discourages unpredictable sketchy nigs.
For the record I do stop and talk with homeless people if they seem unaggressive, I don't hate poor/homeless/whatever people. Give them money sometimes. But if someone gives me bad vibes in any way I trust my gut and shut them down hard and remove myself from them ASAP.

I know I would

>Call family
It's not even family it's anyone with the same ethnicity. I've seen fights completely derail because a completely and utterly uninvolved individual ran in and started throwing punches.

I've seen lopsided outnumbered beatings take a full 180 as other Mexicans joined in for the hell of it. Three Black dudes kicking the crap out of some Mexican kid turn into ten Mexicans and one Irish guy kicking the crap out of three Black guys.

To this day the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life was a racial version of the Han Solo vs the Stormtroopers scene.

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Yeah you sound like the type of idiot who would get the shit kicked out of him by 6 people just so you can defend "muh valor" infront some shallow bitch and people who will never see you again

well what would you do in this situation?

>El Hermano

Yup this spic post checks out

Why did the Irish dude get involved lmao, just hated nigs more than spics?

>Meanwhile you will never see random white people helping each other out

White people ironically believe that they are above self preservation

Just tell the douchebag if him and his buddies want assault charges then they can go right ahead. Then carry on. If he starts hitting me in the store, the clerk would call the police and it would most likely be recorded. No need to act like I'm going to be John Wick in this situation.

>If he starts hitting me in the store

ok this is just ridiculous and very telling. The police are completely useless. I've live in 5 countries and let me tell you they don't show up till its all over. Everything aside please don't use the police as personal security

Okay then, what would you do tough guy? Put them all in a chokehold?

They don't react logically man, you think they'd dog pile but they don't. Pick one and get close thats about it

I'm a small, physically weak person. I'm not going to get into a fist fight. I will put bullets in you though if you put me in a life threatening situation.

tru

You're a good troll

About a month ago. Some thot on speed was going apeshit nearby and I told her to fuck off and stop bothering people. She called her brother and fucker ambushed me with 6 of his friends.

Not even 100kg+ weight and 1,5 years of boxing helped me out of this.

100 crunches is not hard at all my man. I used to do 200 per night. Real ones too.

>one Irish guy
kek literally me

t. reprogrammed ginger that grew up in ESL bean land

based and wish I was a chicano now
>tfw tiny family

Louie could've acted much tougher if he wasn't outnumbered and probably could've told the kid to fuck off. Some random date isn't worth it though, especially when you have access to comedy club pussy as a famous person.

There is so much personal information and mood flip flopping in this post that I suspect you have some sort of mood disorder.

He's evolving into the Taxi Driver.

He should have left the restaurant instead of getting loud for no reason.

Never cuz I maxed out Charisma

>be Louie
>indulge the punk by pussying out
>date gives me shit over it
>remind her that I'm not getting scathed on her behalf and could have another woman the next day
>she gets mad
>interrupt and inform her that the date isn't about me keeping her but about her keeping me (because I'm Louie CK, obviously wouldn't work as user)
women love it when you lay into them like that

100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, 10 km run every day. No heat or air conditioning.

That's a nightmare scenario. I think the only option left there is to just taunt them even more for the fun of it.

>7 people
what a bunch of faggots

That women are very animalistic

youtu.be/oWy3twwTEyc?t=41
Be Ryan Gosling. Or shoot him right then and there.

How will you deal with the rest of his friends then?

Just fight him, but don't expect the chick to hang around or want anything to do with you afterwards. Sometimes you've just got to make a choice and there's no way you can get everything you want.

>I'm a small, physically weak person.
pls be my gf

Fight them off with my ninja-like fighting skills.

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absolutely nobody would take me seriously if I said that

You ever had your shit pushed in?

Better than the entire MCU

Was just about to say this too. The fantasy of doing this in my head is lovely though.

This is why my mother, even to this fucking day, tells me to keep my mouth shut if something is going awry near me. You NEVER know who has a weapon, you never know what people are capable of. Carry some mace, get a concealed carry permit, carry a taser, and stick to your own unless someone engages you.

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When I was around seven, by my big brother. I fought a bit growing up, and a couple of times as an adult but I never lost. I was always pretty strong and I grew up in a shitty neighborhood, you learn to be tough fast in a place like that.

based bugs bunny

based vet user. hope life is treating you well.

>parents are dumb as fuck about that and you're the one trying to teach them that lesson
>shootout behind backyard
>mother peeks over the fence and says "they have guns!"
>one looks and luckily runs off
>guys spraypainting a place behind house and father yells at them
>they're buff tattooed gangsters with respirators that tell him to mind his own fucking business
>tell my parents that they're being retarded and are endangering me as well by doing stupid shit like that

No one would take anyone seriously if they said that unless they're 7ft tall and built like the proverbial brick shithouse, in which case they wouldn't have started on them in the first place.

Calm threats never work in real life, before I worked this out as a teenager, I tried to threaten someone in a pub when I was drunk, with similar wording to that scene, and the guy just told me to try it and said he'd rape me. Good times.

Either fully commit and absolutely chimp out immediately or keep quiet, these are the only options. Threats only work when the threatener screams them at you having just chucked his beer at your head and is currently scrambling over the intervening tables like some sort of rabid simian in your direction.

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I have always wondered if acting completely crazy could get you out of fights

Joker club scene in Suicide Squad

1v1, maybe, but if you're outnumbered then all bets are off

you stand up and cock your fists to let the little guy he's in for a world of hurt
he'll probably try to run away once he sees you're officially in battle mode but it will be too late for him by then

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youtube.com/watch?v=_KeskHkD1gc

Depends how pissed the guy is at you. If he's determined to kick your ass then probably not gonna help, if he started on you to prove how tough he is to his friends/observers, acting like you're mentally handicapped might remove his motivation. No one wants to get a reputation for beating up a tard.

There are accounts of people getting out of muggings by just saying some random shit the mugger is prepared for to stall them out. Shit like "its not even a Tuesday!" when they ask for your wallet. IDK how legit this is I'm pretty sure its some neural linguistic programming pseudo science but I found it interesting.

>cock your fists
This doesn't look nearly as good when I try it, it looks like an involuntary spasm like someone's just tipped icewater down my neck.

>"I only feed my ego by being smug about my meta-analysis of ego feeding *huffs own farts* mmm exquisite"

That's because you're not Ryan Gosling.

>stand up on booth seat
>cock fists and walk towards him
>trip and fall on him and slam the floor hard
>we're both hurting badly
>entire place is confused as fuck
might just be crazy enough to work

do you have a mustache?
that's your problem right there

take out a hand grenade and pull the pin. easy. lets see a fucker fight me then.

What if you start beating yourself up before he even gets a chance to start?

Ask "bruh do you even know what Sneed is?"

Some guy with a knife tried to mug me years back and I calmly told him I wasn't going to give him anything and he should try someone else and he just walked off. So it does happen.

But equally, he could have just fucking stabbed me for talking back to him and not doing as I was told so it's hardly a 100% guaranteed solution. Depends how stabby they're feeling at the time.

Shit, I'm clean shaven, I didn't even think of that, now I feel like an idiot.

>implying you've ever met anyone with a concealed carry
silly noguns

here's one from the archive
>I got robbed a few years ago when I was in the hood, and I told the guy to please kill me and he got visibly upset and ran off. Didn't even take my money, it was fucking weird

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All of the people I know with CC can beat the shit out of me but they're all paranoid as fuck as well. You're both right imo.

Just belly bounce him out of the building. Whenever he tries to stand back up, bounce him again, not only will he be defeated but his reputation will be in tatters and your date will be impressed with your girth and virility.

There's a reason this technique is banned in all formal combat sports like UFC.

results may vary if attempted outside of flat-roofed pubs on T'state

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SOUF

wow i wish that were me

>When I lost
My coach brought in a barely retired boomer boxer. The dude was by by no means famous but he was leagues more competent than anyone I’ve confronted before. It was line one of those shitty generic anime fights, minus the long winded monologue. Those hands were fast. I made the mistake of trying to go ham in a superior fighter. Needless to say, I was withered down. Earned his respect though for the courage.

did he died

You stand up and be an adult. Stop talking to him like an equal, he’s being an irresponsible child wandering around intoxicated underage in public being disorderly and disruptive to the general public. You start berating him and asking if his parents know where he’s at and drag him outside before telling him he needs to wise up before he fucks his whole life up, then go back inside.

You’ll have harshest his whole vibe and put him in his place so effectively by that point they’ll all just run away.

kek this boomer advice is almost as bad as "compliment then walk away"

This is how you get stabbed. Don't do this.

>t. vet

3rd brigade 4th ID here. What was your unit?

basado y rojopillado

WEEEELLLL HE AIN'T MY BOY BUT THE BROTHER IS HEAVY

Gentle reminder that the real danger on that scene is the judgement of the woman, which is something that doesn't happen in real life because you're both adults who don't go about measuring dicks with strangers. Louis is a sick, disturbed man with a skewed perception of the world around him. If you are out on a date and some guy comes looking for trouble, you'll be fine not being Clint Eastwood. Just say you're not doing this, call the bartender because you're a client and those people are threatening you, the end. Your honor is not at stake because you're actual functioning human beings.

Ass kicked? Probably 15 years ago, I was a very weak kid, emotionally and physically. Army fixed that.
Last fight? Something like 8 years ago.

>casts a manlet to look tough
Are mutts really afraid of midgets?

Manlets are scary in groups, they're like velociraptors

Nice you care about your Jewish overlords user I am glad you decided to defend Israel you know they are our biggest allies in the world

Well yeah, if people gang up on you there's not a lot of room for being a stubborn tough-guy, even if you do tower over them.

bruh just step on him
the correct response should have been "you ever hear about warwick davis?"

rent free

I guarantee this guy is a gigantic faggot and would shit himself in a all black neighborhood or a Mexican neighborhood I can just smell the pussy

That's a fantastic story faggot

still you

Damn you sound like a weak faggot

Based saitama

white people don't gang up on people so if there's a fight it's just you v. him which is unlikely he's just trying to show off for his friends
just start making fun of him, his appearance, etc. american normies are so trash at taking insults like that he'll come off as a huge bitch in front of his friends and will skulk away
have been in situations vaguely similar to this but most people find me intimidating and don't start in on me

KINOTIC

Me neither. Waiting for the inevitable.

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Anyone would. Numbers matter. You'd have to be Batman levels of prepared to handle something like that.

"When was the last time you talked to your doctor about early onset hair loss?"

But seriously, quit fucking making this thread over and over, ffs, find other ways to interact with people.

>bruh you're in high school? HAHAHA YOU LOOK FORTY
>BALDING? YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME!
>If you're interested I can ask my date if her mom has any friends that are single... HAHAHA

Fuck you puto

bluto*

Pillado isn't a word

Yeah you gonna look real confident and toned when you get stabbed. Just sayin' how it is. Someone will stab ya.

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If you're American (and not a fucking gunlet cuck) I assume you tell him he has exactly 2 seconds to fuck off before you shoot him.
Otherwise same thing but knife.
>b-but it's illegal to carry a knife in most places
I pay taxes, so no.

I can't even imagine what kind of a virgin freak you have to be to even imagine yourself as lois in that situation...Sad state of affairs on this board!

Wrong. 99 percent of concealed carry is basically people who would carry a gun anyway, because fuck you, but also know that it fucking sucks to get caught so they bend over to the system and get a licence for something they have a god given right to do anyway.
>I've never actually met
Irrelevant. Not an argument. Ever.

Like this

youtube.com/watch?v=iMinLmhP4Hw

fight to win. pretend to bitch out and when he's not looking or his back is turned smash a bottle in his skull

you're supposed to focus your firepower on the woman afterwards. don't actually threaten her but if you put her on the spot she'll understand the situation better.

you made me laugh at least
also get a haircut you bum

kek didn't expect that

"When was the last time" is the lowest form of conversation.

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How many of those kids do you think Tony could take? I'm thinking 3.

if any of those kids are wearing varsity jackets then he's fucked

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If the other 2 dudes look like I could take em 1 vs 2 I stab this guy in the arm and smash his head into the table.

If the other dudes look tough I play on this faggots ambition telling him that I'm sure I could take him 1 on 1 but a feminine homo like him sure won't fight 1 on 1 like a man and that it is pretty obvious his gay lovers gonna rush in and help their bottom boy. Hopefully this manipulates him into 1 on 1.