Why are female comedians all about dick and vag jokes

I went to an open mic last night and a female was the feature and she did not mention anything related to sex and she had some good jokes.

Women know this male clinging to power fantasies by heart and they have no problem using it to avoid being as destitute as a men can become, while still thinking that those women realize the female fantasy of intimacy, of going beyond passing for and knowing to be slutty goldiggers, by being devoted to the realization of the fantasy of grandiosity of a few men or more commonly by having children and creating a family.

What women want the most is harmless fun and intimacy. THey get to realize their fantasy first when they are young with men, by trying to let their ''ego'' on the side and realize the sexual fantasies of the men who fuck them. WOmen quickly learn that the only healthy way to relate to men is to be capitalistic on the male market.

Women know this male clinging to power fantasies by heart and they have no problem using it to avoid being as destitute as a men can become, while still thinking that those women realize the female fantasy of intimacy, of going beyond passing for and knowing to be slutty goldiggers, by being devoted to the realization of the fantasy of grandiosity of a few men or more commonly by having children and creating a family.

What women want the most is harmless fun and intimacy. THey get to realize their fantasy first when they are young with men, by trying to let their ''ego'' on the side and realize the sexual fantasies of the men who fuck them. WOmen quickly learn that the only healthy way to relate to men is to be capitalistic on the male market.

But The fantasy of being intimate is realized with having children. THis is what men do not understand. Women love ''to be selfless'' by caring about children and they delude themselves that their compassion and unconditional love for the children is a good thing. Childless women direct their retarded compassion towards animals and children they do not know.
So women love children for the intimacy. Women rely on men for the sex and care they give.

Yes, more than one. Try actually talking with them incel.

yes, maybe once

Spotted the beta white knight.

ROASTIE ROASTED

because women's hobbies are basically shopping, social media, sex, and netflix. i'll give a dollar to anyone who has an amusing anecdote about any of those things that doesn't involve dick/vag

youtube.com/watch?v=j1nzT9l1Od4
>jokes
whatever you say coalburner

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They like hiking and getting lost and dying and traveling and getting raped and beheaded

>wah wah how dare you have personal experiences that invalidate my pathetic biased views of the world?

I would be into female comedians if they were edgy like Sam Hyde

Because most of them literally only think about sex. Its not even a joke. We've all agreed to allow women to pretend like they are all virgins until they get married but every woman knows that even if she isn't out getting dicked on the regular, half of her friends are. Seriously, when I used to hang around drunks and junkies, most of the time the guys would just get into arguments, fights and do dumb stunts for attention once as they got wasted. Meanwhile the girls would almost always just start looking for sex and once they got a hold of a guy you basically had to beat them with sticks to get them off the guy. If a girl was rejected she's basically acted like the world was ending. The guy would just go "Oh well" and go back to hanging with his mates.

Are all women sluts and whores? Of course not, most of them know to pace themselves but give them something that shuts off their ability to really think about the consequences of their actions and the first thing they want to do is have sex. And trust me, no matter how often you get told as a guy to not kiss and tell, once you've had sex with a girl she'll tell her sister and friends about your dick, stamina, the noises you make, everything.

is her last name really Cummings? kek

my mom is cute and funny

this is true, if women had been free since the dawn of history we wouldn't exist

Why are male comedians all about dick jokes?

If you spent as much time talking to women as you do posting incel nonsense, you'd get laid.

just check the art and literature, males paint and write over everything, women mostly sex
but still we grew up learning males think with the penis and women have emotional ineligence, whatever that means

hes not wrong though. most women are so god awful boring. their conversation on a date is usually about pop culture or complaining about some other woman they don't like

Comediennes are a cultural treasure. I wish I didn't have to scroll through all the cis men (male and female)

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isn't thought what we do here in Yea Forums? talking about pop culture and criticizing women?

>no matter how often you get told as a guy to not kiss and tell, once you've had sex with a girl she'll tell her sister and friends about your dick, stamina, the noises you make, everything.

I can confirm this 100%

t. gay guy with a lot of fag hags

Dumb tech illiterate roasties are a blessing

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Yes, not always voluntarily funny though

i also occasionally post racisms

jesus christ

I used to hang out with fat girls a lot and many of them were hilarious. God I miss when fat bitches were cool.

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Thanks generic incel post #59985232358

Who cares what YOU think is boring?

My wife, I married that bitch asap, there are very few good women so when you find one you lock that shit down.

>Paid 5 figures to former mossad techies to remove photos of her feet from the internet
How does that even work?

>is another roastie humblebrags about supposed incels being obssesed with her.
>omg am so tired of them giving me all this attention.

Why do women do this?.

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if an article has to explain to me why, they're not.

>ex brags about my dick
>gets me laid

Just don’t be bad at sex, it’s really not hard.

There is nothing ever important about Whitney Cummings

They game google search engine so it shows other shit she chooses.
Is the same service ex-convicts and other internet infamous people use.

That image is so inaccurate. It's the nerdy girls who become feminists.

This is part of the reason I went out of my way to women's lives miserable, 8 and counting.
>Got a girl pregnant at my year 12 graduation
>Not intent to stay with her, make this very clear
>Has the baby anyway, tells me I have to be with her because she has my child
>Tell her to fuck off and move to another state
>Child support claims, quit my job then and there
>Become a tradie, work under the table, only ever have to pay base rate child support
>In australia you only pay marginal increase in child support per child, the increases completely stopping after 4
>Still a negligible amount when you "earn" less than the taxable minimum
>Try to get as many chicks pregnant as possible, even encourage it
>bail at 4 month period every time

I'll do this as long as I can

i have never heard women sit down together and talk about anything profound. even when they talk about politics it's all incredibly superficial and emotional. the thing is ive had profound conversations with women on a 1 2 1 situation or even when they were the only woman in a group of guys. so why can't they do this when they are just in a group of girls? it's so strange. i once listened to my girlfriend and her friends talking together for about half an hour and they spoke about the most boring vapid shit in the world and didnt even seem to me like they particularly liked each other.
im generalising of course but this is just from experience what i have observed
ive met some really funny women in my life, but i cant think of any any funny female stand up comedians

I went to Kristen Schaals hot tub show this week
Sindhu Vee, Chris Redd and Moses Storm were there
none of the five or so women made any jokes about genitalia whatsoever
progressivism was a common theme but literally no dick or vag or I'm a slut jokes the whole night

lots of racism jokes tho, like a fucking lot

women being crass = automatically funny

of course, thats why i dont understand how come there arent any good women comedians, maybe there are but are not mainstream

Now you will a boy's life miserable too, congratulations!

Literally not a thing. Try harder.

>i once listened to my girlfriend and her friends talking together for about half an hour and they spoke about the most boring vapid shit in the world and didnt even seem to me like they particularly liked each other.
>im generalising of course but this is just from experience what i have observed

This is pretty typical. Women seem to view each other more like purses or shoes than human beings, simply accessories to increase their own desirability.
This is why women also seem to fall out over totally inconsequential shit. They were never "friends" (as a man would understand the term) they just basically reached a point of zero or negative value and so get "refunded" by their peers.

They aren't actually talking about pop culture you dolt. They're just using that as a code for something else they're talking about that they don't want you or someone else present to know about. Women do shit like this all the time. They give signals with body language, drop hints, etc. Its not complicated stuff but goes over most guys head.

Its like when they're flirting, they can't just walk up to you and say "Want sum fuck?" so they do a bunch of other shit like laugh at stupid jokes, play with their hair, etc.

Ok what did they say? Give an example of something they said that was funny.

i don't even know women comedians exist until i visit this board. thanks for raising awareness.

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Cringe

Ok, this is based.

Yes. But it may have to do with the fact that I wanted to put my peepee in them so I dunno how funny they actually were

Youre right dude. That girl who has a dog and anime eyes filter over every picture of her is actually an incredible orator and shes layering on all kinds of symbolism and complex themes that you have to be really high iq to pick up on when she talks about her barista job and michael scott quotes

>I went to an open mic last night and a female was the feature and she did not mention anything related to sex and she had some good jokes
Well that's not the ones that make it. Iw ould have stopped reading had you said she made good jokes first

>This stuff about ''tough healthy males'' comes from the male love to interpret anything through their fantasy of dominance and submission
You had me until this. You've CLEARLY never had sex. Women LOVE assertive and dominating guys, even more so in bed

Yes.

We already have an answer for this why is this even a thread?

youtube.com/watch?v=I7izJggqCoA

fucking zoomers

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>paid five figures to remove pictures
>every few weeks someone reposts them
WOW you got scammed you dumb bitch
>incels tribute my soles
Only Weinstein is allowed to do that IRL

Why are women so subtle?

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Your example might indeed be a braindead idiot but its not complicated shit. The key is to just do it a lot with your friends from an early age and you'll be perfectly fine talking on the fly. It only seems like some high level shit because you don't do it. Seriously, just go up to some girl you know and start talking about some bullshit that has no real relevance to either you, she'll assume you're being subtle about something but won't actually understand why.

Who wants to have sex with a coin slot lol, literally every male you roastie cunt.

>Take it from a woman who had to pay five figures for former mossad techies to remove photos of her feet from the internet

>It's a thot doesn't know how to make a DMCA request episode

>woman A: Its fine for me to look the way I do!
>woman B. Yeah, and everyone who doesn't look like you are disgusting!

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>Who wants to actually feel something during sex? LMAO

I lost my v to a local gilf weed dealer when I was 19. If you'd asked me even 5 minutes after fucking her what her pussy felt like I couldn't tell you and I fucked her bareback.

>tfw big dick but incredibly nervous and insecure about my performance so have trouble staying hard
>tfw condoms kill my boner so just the thought of putting it on gives me anxiety and it kills my boner
Such is life when you're a late bloomer who loses his virginity at 26

Single mothers raise criminals. This is the opposite of based. You are an African American, congratulations

So what good does it actually do to speak in riddles when niether of you knows what the answer is?

>tfw condoms kill my boner so just the thought of putting it on gives me anxiety and it kills my boner

Condoms don't kill your boner, the break in flow is what kills your boner. The key there is to give the condom to the girl and tell her to do it. It doesn't break the flow but instead just makes it the finale of foreplay.

Blame the welfare state mate, stupid cunt's wouldn't be so gung ho to push out little rug monkeys if they knew they weren't getting welfare and child support.

The point is that both of you need to be familiar enough with each other than you can figure out the answers to these riddles. Again, most of the time when people use this stuff they only use it in short bursts to communicate potentially offensive thoughts like "I don't like this new person, but he's your friend so make him leave." or "I really want to have sex with you but I know I can't say it that bluntly so I'll just pretend to talk about something else and gauge your reaction and give you time to give me an reasonable opening to ask you on a date"

Yeah I know it's the break in flow but it makes no difference, my point is, a 5 second break makes me lose my boner if I'm not 100% comfortable with the girl. Maybe I have low test or maybe I've watched too much porn or maybe it's all in my head and I just need to chill and just enjoy the moment but I still find sex stressful and the moment physical stimulation stops it's like my brain stops sending blood to my dick and once that happens, nothing can get me hard for at least another 20 minutes

Nope. Kids need BOTH parents to raise them. It's that simple. Kids that were raised by just their dads may turn out a little better but it's still far from ideal. I get what you're saying but it's irrelevant