What movies accurately simulate the girlfriend experience?

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Alien

fucking christ, I don't ever wanna know that feel, that's horrible

You will have your sex robot someday user.

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The Thing

Cumtown podcast

yeah I'd shoot myself in the face. wew lad, I mean getting back together with an ex is ill advised, but having to watch her get married to your best friend? How have you not necked yourself mentioning them both in your suicide letter? Seems like the only option here, that or taking them both down with you

Or option C, surpass them both in every way possible and make them envious of your existence.

>falling for the self improvement meme
Only thing that gets you is a "I'm so happy for you user!"

500 days of summer

Ye

I wish I wasn't a virgin

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>Never had a gf
>Never had friends
>Will never experience normalfag drama
Feels weird

Women can tell you they love you and not mean it. Like my ex-girlfriend. "I love you" is one of the most meaningless sentences

tch looks like incels win again

tough luck sexhaver

That man is not your friend.

Daily reminder that the only reason you haven't experienced this is a few millimeters of bone.

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>tfw most of my life women had absolutely zero interest in me
>like, literally none
>then for the first time I get a job that is pretty well paid
>while staying EXACTLY the same dude I was before (the way I dress, talk, spend my free time, etc).
>but now all of a sudden women (including those I've known for ages) start to notice me, flirt, hit me up on social media, etc

I legitimately despise women more now than during the days when they didn't even look my way.

Like, this is all it takes? Really? Jfc. What a worthless buncha cunts.

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In many ways I am glad I dont know anyone IRL. Having to put up with peoples bullshit face-to-face sounds like a nightmarish situation.

Yikes.

Ex Machina

They really are worthless, except for the pussy I guess? This why I save deep and meaningfull relationships for my male friends and go to prostitutes if I get horny. Women aren't worth the time and effort you put into them. Sometimes I just wish I was gay

Forrest Gump.
youtu.be/NR1rV6MtIco

Lel abso fucking lutely, sometimes I night I'd just put it on and fall asleep to some of those wholesome vids she makes.

You know, I wasn't as active on Yea Forums as I used to be until last week, because I wanted to get on and spill my heart about my feelings of loneliness and other gay shit like that, and it's been incredibly cathartic. But I've noticed the sheer number of goobers who have stories where they had opportunities with girls and regret not talking advantage of them. As a socially awkward loser who's never been in situations like this, it's been interesting to read how other people have handled situations and it's been interesting to bond over shit like this.

How did he not realize the revolver wasn't loaded? Or empty

>tfw about hit on girl in friend group
>ask bro if he's into her
>he says no
>8 months later, realize he lied
>now he orbits her and everything is awkward as hell
kill me

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Wow is that the movie starring critically acclaimed actor and noted humanitarian Sasha Grey?

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the real answer is Her (2013)

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>wanting to fuck your phone
I want millenials to leave.

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Sauce? Also, who am I supposed to be mad at?

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youtube.com/watch?v=xtEmJeojY0I

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>I dragged you out of the stone age and here are shoes, please touch my dick

literally my state of mind

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>You don't actually want one
So, this was, what, a comedy sketch?
That's lame.

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>be manlet DYEL
>know that if a woman ever jumped on me like this, I'd immediately fall over and probably end up paralyzed
>this absolute Chad is unphased
just kill me familia

Maybe it's finally time to kill myself.

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i absolutely feel everything in the middle of that image, but don't want a gf somewhat because i know that it's actually huge effort to maintain a relationship with one.

Why? It just shows you always had it in you. Women don’t want to date losers too stupid to get a job, it’s common sense.

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I'm very happily in a relationship with an incredible sweet and cute and smart girl.
I still know she'll probably leave me for another guy. Never forget women are women. Enjoy them but don't overestimate their worth

People say this like it really matters. Whether its a few millimeters of bone or something supernatural, it doesnt matter. All that matters is we wont get to have this, ever.

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If you cant catch 100lbs without falling over you need to get lifting mate.

I hate physical activity. I'll just let atherosclerosis or some shit kill me at the ripe old age of 27.

It's too early for this shit

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Actually it's because bullying and abuse crippled me forever.

Yes, but, similarly youtube.com/watch?v=lL2ZwXj1tXM

>you waited too long

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I always had a job. just an average one. Now I've got the same position but in a bigger company. Literally nothing in me, or what I do, has changed besides a number in my bank account. Stop searching for excuses, women are just that shallow and vapid, and that's about it.

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normies

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hope he gets killed by an IED while she gets impregnated by a nigger just to miscarry later

I felt this one in my bones

actually it's because you're an abhorrent person that either quit trying or never tried in the first place so you blame all of your problems on your bone structure despite the fact men less attractive than you have found love, along with an inability to recognize women as grossly average as you as potential partners
it's also a matter of luck, because there's no such thing as "the one" in reality and even if there was "the one" that's 2 people out of literal billions and the chances of you both being within a 100 mile radius of eachother is an astronomically miniscule chance, therefore we must accept the fact that some people just never find love in their lives without it being anyone's fault
buuuuuuuuuuut that's just a theory

why?

Writhe in my cage of torment, my friend.
lmao turbonewfag

filename you fucking retards

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facebook wisdom

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I wasn't aware you could find hard truths on facebook
maybe I should make one after all

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He's dating his sister?

Those truths ain't that hard friend.

compared to the "le millimeters of bone" cope? you'll find that they are harder to swallow

code?

...have you seen the movie? he does know it's out of bullets, he's just mentally and emotionally broken.

Not your girl, just your turn :)

dont know code but she is airi suzumura

>hags him with both legs
I would literally get an insta boner
Are americans all do incest?

I'm not that guy but "I'm a shit person who doesn't deserve happiness" was the first pill I swallowed.

missing porn/fapping addiction on the right

oh shit meant to quote

I tick off literally all of these, what does that mean?

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acknowledging you're a shit person is a positive action.
deciding to do nothing about it is why you don't deserve happiness
you're a walking ouroboros

They expect us in the wreckage, brother

Lifting is fun you fanny. Just tank out that first few weeks of DOMS.

Does your sister just not love you? Hugging doesnt mean you're sticking it in that person.

yeah I agree

>deciding to do nothing about it is why you don't deserve happiness
You will always an outsider and a laughing stock to normal socially adjusted people, nothing will change that.

>will you love me after my brain explodes, user?

On one hand I am fully aware of this, and on the other I don't care enough to change anything about it. Holy shit is your description acurate

YUO AR MAH KWEEN
NOOH
AN OOHWEYS

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Who's your ASMRfu?

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normal people aren't your kind. you are not alone in this world.
it's that much more difficult to find because of the nature of your being, but you too can conceivably find a community to be happy with.

A ghost story

Soe (RIP)

>why?
because he's american

>filename you fucking retards
changes nothing

retards. it's literally in the metadata

Lost in Translation
>because every girl I ever connect with is already with some dude already and they never leave before we drift apart.

BvS. Choose your path: Clark or Bruce.

You did the right thing and your friend is a cuck. Think about it, what was she doing in the meantime? And now that she's done going on her adventures with Chad, Tyrone, and Achmed, she wants to get back with you to deal with her sloppy seconds? She just wanted your money. Wait a couple of years and she'll be divorced with the guy after she's caught cheating.

Yeah, thank god I'm not a NEET and at least go to work every now and then, helps to keep up with the reality of just how atrocious most common people and their relationships are. Thanks to that I'm not idealizing "a life I missed out", it's a truly hellish existence 90% of the time. Fuck that.

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I saw a black lady when I was a kid while playing Super Mario on snes.

Goodnight Moon
She's so sweet and wholesome it makes me want to kill myself. I'm usually so numb about it at this point, but she manages to dredge up those adolescent >tfw no gf feels.

Honestly, "people are the worst" and the worst part about it are the normies who think they're above it all while actively participating in what makes people terrible. Their backwards, hypocritical morality, constant degeneracy, incessant annoyances. Why can't they just get good?

How old is too late?

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>tfw first gf said she started thinking about me again years after our break up
>we decide to try again but it only lasts about a year because she's the same miserable cunt she always was
You're not missing much user.

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An alternate explanation is age (they hit the wall). But yes, they're all whores and usually when they're done "exploring themselves" they want stability because of how entitled they are. They never face any consequences because some cuck inevitably acquiesces, like the "best friend" above. White knights, orbiters, soiboys, all of them are the cause of these issues. Women will never get punished, unless someone does something about it.

18

JUFD-738
tbqh :/

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it's over then

Purity + don't actually want one

Cope

It never really began

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Based
There's nothing you can do about it. And this guy is likely right.
You did the right thing within your options user. The whole "she was the love of my life" bullshit is something invented in the recent centuries by (((romantic writers))).
Your life doesn't have to be 100% linked to a woman, user. It hurts now, but you've to keep moving forward and eventually you won't even remember that whore who pretended better than others to understand you.

23 being realistic. If you haven't got "it" by 23, might as well become an hermit because even if you do find a woman, she will never respect you.
Women don't think like men, user.

>when you have an onii-chan complex

The same way you don't notice ugly girls around you but would if they got plastic surgery. I know misogyny is a hell of a drug, but just stop and realize that men and women value different things. Men value fertility and beauty, women value status and power.

In a fundamental way people form by 16, anything after that is merely nuances.

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You're not missing anything.

Kino film ending, there. It's, like, so dark and not a typical Hollywood ending. And it's also ironic, you know?

What car should I buy to impress women? Currently I own a VW UP, but I'm looking for another car, so might as well get something that will make me drown in pussy

Imagine not progressing after the age of 16. Horrifying.

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Progressing existing characteristics and fundamentally changing them is two different things.

bruh that's not a normal hug

It really isn't, it's dull as fuck.

mods pls delete this thread

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>ywnb mounted by a cheerleader
Why even live?

whatever random chinese whore has the most recent ear licking vid uploaded

now

>The same way you don't notice ugly girls around you but would if they got plastic surgery.
>implying bogged thots are attractive

>Men value fertility and beauty, women value status and power.
>implying women don't value physical beauty

Anyway, I'm not one of the incels that dreams exclusively of 10/10 qt's, I'm fine with way below average chick who at least keep themselves fit and clean (as I do), and have something to talk about.

But imagine that, even those don't consider low/average status men as worthy of respect and attraction. Chad could fuck below average looking chick and enjoy it, but that chick would rather drink rat poison than give a slightest chance to a low status male. 80/20 rule is a fact across the board unfortunately.

This is how it feels to have a gf.

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16, or whenever you're about to finish your senior year of high school. At that point you've missed the window for the ideal of pure, non-demanding teen love
You still have a chance in college, but by the time you hit your mid 20s and have completely left adolescence behind you, you're well and proper fucked

Mass Effect 1 solid choice

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___, _ ____ ____ ____ __

I bet she is doing a renegade femshep playthrough.

She just made you think you had a chance to keep you orbiting.

Don't fall for their trap

Anything normies know is expensive. Alternatively a recent year mustang, corvette, etc. Thots like fast cars. Will get you plenty of comments and flirts as long as you aren't disgusting.

Wtf kill your friend, idiot

30.
My father's best friends is pure chad in his 40s, and he lost his virginity at 27.

that's it anons. i'm getting the rope. thanks for helping me make this decisions. see you all.

dont forget to put a tarp down, you void your bowels when you die. it's just considerate.

What you lost is your chance for teenage love.
If you are in your 20s, it's never too late.
Though, since you have no experience, you'll have to compensate in another way, so get buff.
Don't give up until you've tried it all.
Why not?
You are going to kill yourself, it's not like you have anything to lose.

You're a dumbass. Let go.
Plenty of girls on the planet that will "understand you", you're not a special snowflake so stop being so narcissistic and get out there and date as long as it takes.

Ideally, just OD with pills in your bathroom.

How old are you? If bellow 35, there's still a chance.

the fuck, that guy was criticizing himself. why did you feel the need to bitch at him about narcissism (which is a word you clearly don't understand the meaning of)? why do normies feel the need to project this misguided 'tough love' shit?

Why do I can't relate to these feels anymore

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fuck off roast

>self improvement
>meme
This is what happens when a generation of autistic kids is born with everything given to them in a silver plate.
Let me guess, you are the kind that complains about how you don't have a girlfriend, but you also refuse to do anything about it and expect a girlfriend to just be delivered to your door.
I spent my entire life being a an obese glass wearing loser, and I didn't have my first kiss and sex until I was 24, entirely because I did my best to stop being a smelly, acne-ridden fatass.

And even then I still regret the fact that I never got to have a girlfriend when I was 13 or so, when everything is far more innocent.

I already smell shit everytime I go outside, I don't need it consistently.

The only people that believe only 1 girl ever understood them are the most arrogant and self-absorbed narcissists that live in fear and self-doubt of themselves and the world around them. I criticized him because I want him to move on and live the life he deserves, to be the man he was meant to be, just like I have been in his position and still do my best to do today.
And lol @ calling me normie, I've been on this shithole for more years than you've had puberty and played some of the most neckbeard shit that you've never even heard about so go brainwash yourself with your retarded zoomer lingo someplace else.

Projection, followed by extreme defensiveness over Yea Forums cred
I think you might have autism

how about you talk like a human being next time not like a robot
maybe develop some emotional awareness and you'll get laid more dumbass

>>tfw she eventually starts dating your best friend a couple years later
>>tfw they're just got engaged

oh god dude, that must be almost lethal

>when everything is far more innocent.
No it's not. It's just you coping with hindsight. Stop buying into the self-hate because of a propaganda machine about romance. Be thankful you got out of that hole, most people never do.

pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c83b850c9527

enjoy

It's fucked anyways. She's just playing some what-if nonsense in her head because she's dating your friend. She'd start doing the same shit to your friend if you got back together. I've seen tons of engaged girls do this. Also fuck your friend.

based and samepilled

>high school relationships
>innocent
>implying they are nothing but banging like rabbits
lmao

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Hang in there, friendos; just wait and observe everyone else's self-destructive with a sense of accomplishment for yourself.

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pretty good video
camera angles actually follows the rule of thirds and it has a well developed story
makes me think of burt reynolds in boogie nights trying to make artistic porn

>I still regret the fact that I never got to have a girlfriend when I was 13 or so
Sometimes they're roasties already at that age, sometimes not. It's really a crap shoot, but it's better odds than when they're older.

>tfw engaged
>tfw she left me randomly one day
>starts trying to talk to me a few weeks later
>ghost her
>haven't spoken in nearly two years

Never want to see her again.

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You no gf guys are pathetic. Don’t seek validation and happiness through a woman

Having a gf is nice. Think of something that is good but almost so much of a pain in the ass that it isn’t worth it. That’s what having a gf is like.

this basically happened to me but I still always feel the itch to talk to her but simply don't do it

looks like she's used to wrapping her legs around guys lol amirite?

I do too. I still wake up sometimes thinking about her like nothing is wrong, like I want to call and chat. Because we didn't have some big fight that ended it or whatever. I came home one day to a letter of goodbye and all her stuff was gone. I went into shock mode, tried to contact her, and she said was that it was over, and then a few weeks later when I was forcing myself to stay away she wanted to contact me and I ghosted her. I've never had a relationship end so strangely, but I know I'm not the only one it's happened to. I just wish I knew what caused it.

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For me she met another guy and then made sure she was absolutely certain she could date him before dumping me. I don't think she actually cheated but who knows? I was still furious and wanted to cut that guy's dick off though. It makes me mad that bitches like soft landings. If you want to leave then do it immediately.