I Need Help Finding This Faggots Movie

>he cute

What the fuck lol

What did he mean by this? Did he volunteer for some inner city Boys and Girls club/YMCA thing?

They want their shit to be “respected” Ralph tried desperately to get Lover into any festival or theater but he couldn’t. Dropped that shot on amazon prime.

I remember this it was called Julie

Trailer starts at 0:46

youtu.be/3HTUzWVMbVg

Fucking Netflix cant even make good movies or TV shows, you think some millenial is going to make a masterpiece and put it on Youtube?

Was it good?

it's on pornhub, jesus.
is this a copypasta? i've seen this before, in some way, asking for the same shit short film

Ashens will always be based because he made his movie absolutely free.

This is your brain on without sucking Jew dick in Hollywood to make movies.

Thanks fren

1/10 if you count it as a real film
3/10 if you count it as a student film
It shows that he has a basic knowledge of the language of cinema but all the acting is terrible, the film looks ugly, the technical aspects are passable, it’s a cheap imitation of drive. It’s pretty hilarious in a so bad it’s good type away as you cannot for a moment separate Ralph’s character from himself.

I recall some user posting a clip of Chris walking in the middle of the street and he looks like a retard. Is that from this piece of shit too

you rang?

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He tries so hard to be Goose but it just doesn't work. Unironically cringe.

MOAR

My boy creates Cinema, not simpleton "movies"

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>that editing

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Lmfao is this from a comedy skit?

God it's so awkward, but I can't tell exactly what's the reason behind it. Is he just a really bad and unnatural actor or is it an uncanny feeling of seeing him do anything that involves acting since we're accustomed to only seeing him in his review format?

Borderline big steppy material.

Is that a greenscreen? It looks so fake for some reason

Chris Stuckmann has seen so many movie he thinks he is the hero of his story. Except he has never been a hero and tries to force himself as one. That doesn't work so all he has left is to pick apart why other people aren't heros in films. His view count is the closest thing he will ever have to being a hero and nothing else. He is empty.

shit acting and really bad lighting

Yeah if I was making a movie I would probably not want to act in it.

Does anyone actually have the full movie?

Zod's snapped neck has it apparently. Ask him.

i have never watched him, he's just terrible

>that misstep near the end
top kek

>it’s a cheap imitation of drive
That one too? I swear ive seen at least other 2 reviewers imitate it.

What's with Youtubers and Drive

They want to be heroes.

Idk that is weird.

Jesucristo. It's a comedy right?

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Drive made shockwaves still felt to this for these people, Drive is Citizen Kane for autists in both influence and prestige.

Hahahaha

Who wouldn’t buy this guy as a threat?

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terrible lighting and terrible framing..

For a guy that reviews movies and makes an actual career off of watching movies.. There's no excuse for bad light and bad cinematography

Friendly reminder that he was reduced into a hysteric crying fit by some friendly banter from Red Letter Media.

I still don't get why he uploaded it though. What did he hope to accomplish?

those aren't real right?

Drive is low budget enough that dumb zoomers think they can recreate it but in reality even for how little Drive had in terms of budget it's no where near low enough for them to be able to achieve that on their own.

When did this happen?

He's gonna get ya!

The problem is they just don't have it in them or don't have the skills. Their content is too shitty even for YT.

elaborate please

I have it up on drive
drive.google.com/open?id=1LLHXivUcHpwuQgEZ251efmKFTRdeeCIc

Unfortunately they are

I like it more as a modern Taxi Driver, you know, neo-noir elements and less Lolita shit, love that is not meant to be - they don't even get to kiss - than an autismo magnet

Thanks user time to drunkenly watch this

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My garbage (award winning) shorts are on YouTube but you fags will never find them

Get out of here Blomkamp.

you're welcome friend, I really wish his other shortfilm was about haunted movie theater or something was up online

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I don’t get it. I feel like it shouldn’t be that hard to make a decent looking film. Maybe it’s just the quality of the cameras that makes it bad. But Soderbergh shot a movie on iPhone cameras so that’s not really an excuse

I never knew there were 2

Yeah I would like to watch both films back to back to see if he progressed at all.

Underrated

Good lighting is actually pretty difficult to achieve without training. Just because you watch a lot of movies doesn’t mean you understand the technical aspects of it.

he talks about it and his other new upcoming kino in this video youtube.com/watch?v=zSfXRYDRJfs
also bonus video review from some kids that actually went through the trouble to go and see chris's brainwork when it was screened youtube.com/watch?v=cxN7vsMEFxc

from the trailer it looks like he has improved, however even with decent equipment and actors it just kind of looks like every other short film online

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kino

Based user

His face is too funny to be taken seriously

Chris' most cringe-worthy work isn't his movie, but it's by far his "100 movies every cinéphile should see" book.
It had shit inside like Amazing Spiderman 1, or The Force Awakens, or TDKR.

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Wait....is this real? I'm fucking confused.

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Well at least he keeps going, that's something

Please tell me your joking user

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Can I publish a book and list 100 movies too

why are you replying to yourself and spamming this thread?

Im curious, how many of you make films, like anything, ads, movies, shorts, fashion films, docs, animated?
And also, it thats really his film or a joke? Must be a joke, I watch his channel and I think that maybe he do something better than that. Must be some comedic thing.

I'm not, the whole point to a book like that is to introduce others to obscure movies that they wouldn't see on their own, but instead he crams it with the absolute normiest movies.

I'll try to see what I can find online but from memory:
>wastes like 3 slots on a New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, and TFA even though they're basically the same movie
>also put in Raimi's piderman II (I love that movie to death but still)
>basically all the Nolan's
>shit like Cabin in the Woods and the Avengers I

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>no one linked his rap yet
youtube.com/watch?v=ktYJleLlpXw

so what faggot? at least if it was out there uploaded it *might*, just maybe, a masterpiece would be discovered

Don't mind need me, just need to screencap to prove the other faggot wrong.

>It had shit inside like Amazing Spiderman 1, or The Force Awakens, or TDKR.
one of these things does not belong there user

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How many have you seen?
listchallenges.com/chris-stuckmanns-film-buffs-bucket-list-50

Fuck off faggot.

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Rich Evans made a joke about other YouTubers with a red background being “pricks”. The video then showed pictures of random YouTubers with red backgrounds including Chris and JeremyJahns. Chris then uploaded a video of him crying at how Redlettermedia made fun of him despite him being a big fan.

It was very pathetic.

29

Its lighting. Lighting is so important to making shots look cinematic

you literally do this once a week maybe every other week same "hey has anyone seen his movie I can't find the link"

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Maybe he shouldn't star in his own films? That goes for any other reviewer.

Does he at least talk about Bergman or Cassevte films?

Probably all of them. So my point, who the fuck needs this? If you like movies enough to buy this guy's "book", he's adding really no value to your cinema culture.
>oh wow, Spirited away, not like I haven't been told 100 times to watch that

It's funnier because Stuckman's background at the time was blue, but they edited it to red in their video so the joke would work for all three youtubers st once (Jahns, Skeptic guy, and Chris).
Chris felt personally attacked that they forced him into that joke kek.

Is it true that he doesn’t watch foreign movies because he doesn’t like reading subtitles?

The video of him crying because of the Rich Evan jokes.

youtu.be/2qpT7bWSgwg

No, I think the excuse in his book is that he's doing only movies from the XXIst century. That's so he doesn't get called out for only knowing movies from that period.

Get out of here Chris.

Legend. Been looking for this since forever. Sending you many kisses x

it was cool of the special olympics to start handing out film awards to retards instead of just medals.

There’s a lot more to it than camera quality. Lighting plays a massive part.

>I care about my fans, I want to make sure you know how *I* feel.

That one thing does not logically follow from the other.

he payed a lot of money for them

WTF, he never actually cries?

The OG trash youtuber film

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>some kids that actually went through the trouble to go and see chris's brainwork when it was screened
I keep forgetting that his fanbase is entirely teenagers. Every time he does a "come meet up and watch a movie with me" it's always 14 year olds that show up

his face is a rock

thank you fren

he's a charisma vacuum and his face is as expressionless as someone with facial paralysis.

Geez this thread sure is full of jealous people

Stuckman when are you going to release that horror flick?

It's odd how insecure he is despite being a success. He essentially has a dream job yet he acts like a child.
Almost as bad as the guy that didn't get invited to star wars event.

He has one that releases this year called Notes From Melanie.
>A screenwriter known for ripoff "mockbusters" asks his successful former colleague for feedback on his first serious script.
Chris calls this his first serious piece and more personal

That actually sounds kind of interesting. Too bad it'll suck.

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The guy who directed the Evil Dead remake and Don't Breathe uploaded his film on YouTube.
It worked out pretty well for him.

Why do young film writers like Chris and Ralph make these cringe dark nihilistic films? Do I have a myopic view of things, or do most of these faggots try copying shit like Refn and Tarantino and Fincher

Also, that fat faggot who did Lights Out is successful now. He got to do Annabell then Shazam so he's rich and now part of the in crowd

This is correct. That's also the reason everyone was imitating early Tarantino films. They look deceptively easy to make. Like you just need a couple of buddies and a camera for it to work.

I looked it up. It's real kek It's a bunch of Pixar, Disney, capeshit, and imdbcore flicks like Toy Story 3, Avengers, The Force Awakens, and X-Men 2

Chris's film is a knock off of Drive and Ralphs King Candy film is just The Wolf of Wallstreet but in highschool. They just copy the films that they like.

This is OP here. I just wanted a link to the trailer to his shitty film Julia. I couldn't remember it but I saw it once and I needed a really good laugh again. I dunno if you're talking to me or addressing someone else

No, it's Pixar and Disney and capeshit w/ a few reddit arthouse films like Enemy. Oh, and a couple of mainstream anime films. Don't expect anything that would let us in on his personality, cause it's just an imdb list.

Kek please tell me this isn't true

They can't reconcile their own personality with their taste in film. They like watching dark, edgy stuff, but they themselves are soft nerds with no ideas of their own. There probably is something dark and unpleasant inside these people, but instead of confronting that, they are content trying to emulate people with actual charisma and experience.

True. But even all the films he listed from the 2000s are absolute normie shit.

25

>can't even walk in a straight line

>They can't reconcile their own personality with their taste
> They like watching dark, edgy stuff, but they themselves are soft nerds with no ideas of their own.
How do I stop being like that

t. someone not content with just emulating their favorite artists

Oh God
Honestly he should've gone full 90s on 2000s and make a revenge movie with Disturbed playing in the background. And with a touch of irony and selfawareness because for amateurs it never works the other way around.
Still, cudos to him for trying to make something I guess.
Also, he's very handsome neck and up.

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He can't even walk in a straight line. What the fuck is wrong with that faggot

Honestly i think amateur film makers should attempt more drama. Slower scenes with less demand for effects means you can actually demonstrate shot composition and editing skills.

What's the context for this piece of shit anyway cause I dunno why he's even walking out there in the middle of the road in a straight line? He's a fucking retard

Like Woody Allen kind of stuff, where the dialogue is the action

Develop interest in other forms of art, read about the subjects that appeal to you, interact with people. Only watching movies will inevitably lead you to only think in terms of other people's work in the same medium.

He just did dude. Drama is all around amateur films with YT filled with indy gay or bullying movies. Maybe its me but these are all just not convincing. Humour on the other hand seems to work for the whole social media is mostly humour nowadays and its PASSABLE.
I understand that comedy wont probably make you big but at least it wont make your honest audience cringe.

I agree, but only if you're funny. Not a lot of them are actually funny

What would be the point if studying other arts instead or the main one i wanna do?

So I need to not be depressed and suicidal? I don't even know how I would fix that at this point.

He actually looks handsome and intimidating without his beard.

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Dude needs a good gaffer

The point is in allowing yourself to be exposed to different kinds of inspiration. For example, understanding of painting and photography can help you with framing, using color, light, symbolism...

I won't pretend I know what your situation is, user, but some people use these feelings of negativity as a creative outlet. The worst thing you can do is feel like shit, but present yourself as some badass pointing a gun at the camera like a lot of these losers tend to do. It's insincere, childish and embarrassing.

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Isn't this guy rich? It didn't occur to him to take some fucking acting classes? He's stiff as fuck.

thats not Chris, its not even his relative from what I can tell from the credits

Punished Chris

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>watches Drive once

Kek

People think it’s easier

REAL HUMAN BEING
youtu.be/j7XKrPjy-wA

Anyone have a digital copy? I want to read this shit

>Fury of the Film Fan and Chris Stuckmann had a friendship that was at the time, closer than the other content creators. This was largely due to the fact that they shared the same religion growing up and had faced similar situations in their personal life.

>Eventually, Fury of the Film Fan had invited Chris Stuckmann to stay with him and his family in his New York apartment. Soon after the trip is over is when things went awry.

>"What happened here?

>Fury - "It's very simple what happened. My wife invited Chris to stay with us in New York thinking that this is what I wanted. Instead of saying no on the spot I let it go thinking it was one of those maybe one day kind of things. Soon enough Chris was making plans and I didn't have the heart to say no at that point. It did lead to me and my wife having a conversation about communication. We both should have stopped and thought about this. I decided to make the best of it and take a few days off. A few days were needed because this wasn't a two day thing, Chris ended up planning a 4 day 5 night retreat at my place. I wasn't up for that but he already booked it. I sighed and just thought I'd make the best of it.

>During the trip Chris was a dark cloud, a very brooding presence in my happy home. We tried offering to go out and do fun things but he only wanted to see movies and do his reviews. He did a wonderful job of ignoring my kid who wanted to talk to him and even tossed my wife attitude when she asked him about his goals and spoke candidly about his future goals. Later I would walk in on my wife and him in our bed completely naked. He claims they were just reenacting "Gladiator" but I'm not sure I believe him. He may not have noticed but this is what we got. He's the type of guy to make everyone miserable and then apologize for it and play the victim. I can't stand that type of person.

Chris = millionaire, married famous man
You= incel, fat retarded, hikikomori or low tier wagie

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>that skin
Oh he's one of those white as milk guys who need to get tattoos in order to give themselves a look and a personality. Makes sense.

the camera isn't even in fucking focus

This I have no tattoos therefore my personality is friggin superior

ty

I made one short film and it turned out amazing. I didn't direct it, just wrote it. But it's literally perfect. Director made a couple changes I disagree with but they work well enough, and 99% of the changes he made were for the better. I can't imagine being an established YouTube critic and releasing a short that is literally garbage.

>I saw a Michael Mann movie once!
you can tell he tried to walk as alpha as possible and still fails miserably

Fuck... The more that I learn about this guy the more that I cringe. I wanna chin this nonce so bad

>I made one short film and it turned out amazing
I'm sure most of the people who finished doing their first short think their work turned out decent to great, even Chris. Can we watch yours to see if it's any good?

>Later I would walk in on my wife and him in our bed completely naked. He claims they were just reenacting "Gladiator" but I'm not sure I believe him.

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How come everybody is hating on Paul Rudd. Isn't he shrink guy in your comic book banality for babies?

I like to watch pretentious faggots get destroyed and burn by their own creation or retardation, like channel awesome or sargon of akkad

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Haven't those faggots tried to do something serious once too?

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Nope. Even if I hadn't just voiced public disagreement with a collaborator and trash talked a critic, this place is like a bucket of crabs.

Sure user, just hope you can find success and stay grounded to not turn up like these other dudes

>dude watches and reviews movies for a living
>tries to do something themselves
>it's utterly amateurish and the creator displays no knowledge of how film and video production work at all
Why? You can literally spend a week watching youtube tutorials and you'd make something better than everything posted ITT.

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I work in the film industry and see these types of kids all the time.
They are pretentious af. They don't really have that much self awareness but a large mouth to criticize other people's stuff. This air about them that they could do better.

Probs to this guy to making a bunch of money off of it.

looks like shit.

the main issue I see with his videos is nothing is really that interesting to look at. We know the guy who made it and thats REALLY the only reason why we are watching it.

he is making mistakes all across the board.

the guy is playing make believe more then anything. Adding a camera to it doesn't make it anymore real but to this guy it does.
he is more or less make believing in his mind's eye that his stuff is going to look good. It just comes off as flat af and nothing is really interesting.

god most of this is bad af. I use to make videos like this in college with my friends. Atleast our shit was more upbeat and we didn't even use an HD cam.

there isn't anything interesting to look at. there is 2 shots that are pretty cool mostly cause of light breaking through the fog.

2013. ok well maybe he will get better. but for a guy that has watched a lot of movies. It doesn't really show that well.

looks to me like a drive rip off. again he is just make believing.

holy fuck i got stuckmannized

I get it! It's drive! It's drive!!!! But without any driving

He got the asian guy from john wick 3?

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Is he actually?

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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28/50

How is it possible for someone to be so bad at acting he can't even walk naturally?

35/50
pretty bad list tho

Why is this faggot's face so punchable?

Kek

This guy hates jumpscares and praises atmospheric horror. Makes sense

Post the fucking link you fucking faggot, let everyone cringe

letterboxd.com/stjiub/list/chris-stuckmanns-film-buffs-bucket-list/

You must see Pirates of the Caribbean or your not a cinephile

>creed
BRUH OH NO NO NO

Captain America Winter Soldier

46/50

Ryan is leagues ahead of him

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48/50

cuckman wishes he could imitate the master youtube.com/watch?v=heJIbAqG9iM

>all movies from after 2000s
>not a single movie that hasn't been shilled to hell and back

This list is completely useless.

I must be faceblind but him, Tim Pool and Adam Neely look like clones or some shit. Shit bothers me.

Good God why? I couldn't watch 5 seconds of this.

Nigga... What.

The commentaries Lupa, Brad, and Phelan did for these are based

Damn, talk about getting stuckmanized.

Ya, but I could kill him in a bare knuckle fist fight in a self defense situation.

He married a famous man? Who was it?

Show it, faggot

Can a film expert tell me why this bad. I know it is but I want it in text

I'm 6 feet nearly 190 lbs, exercise regularly, and go to college. I am not a wage slave. I still think Chris can be very cringe.

>Goes to college.
>Not a wage slave

Worse, your a debt slave.

Is Chris Cuckmann a shill like the fags from Collider or just an autistic simpleton? I dont watch him or any e-celeb, but does he get invited to screenings and shit?

Sometimes he does get invited to screenings for certain films.

Based

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i found this list on letterboxd which i can only assume is the films he picked:
letterboxd.com/stjiub/list/chris-stuckmanns-film-buffs-bucket-list/

>All those dickriders saying they'd LOOOOVE to be humiliated by their fake internet friends in the comments

Kek

Color correction and lighting are the biggest key to making a movie look like a movie and when it's done amateurishly it shows. Also that jacket looks like a piece of shit pleather from express that they would advertise as "vegan" leather.

It's the lighting and color correction that make it look so incredibly amateur. The editing is also bad but those are what make it look so windows movie maker.

>tell me why I have my opinion

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Now this is a real independant autheur.

Lol

It's auteur.

It's autist.

Lol

Uman Bean

His next film he gets pegged

I've never once taken out a loan.

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That looks like Robert Benfer. He made Klay World back in the newgrounds days but now he just makes videos on youtube.
youtube.com/channel/UCuH4xjfwVqU9LOrGamzLczg

>Mom says it's my turn on the camera

Based in my book.

Why is convinced that stoic badasses would dress like a zoomer going to the arcade?

>zoomer
>arcade

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I knew something didn't make sense when i posted it. Guess it's the alzheimer kicking in already.

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Based in all our books

Tou're never going to achieve anything. People who make it all share the same trait of not giving a fuck, being outspoken, and always shilling their shit. See Lorde, a frequent poster on Yea Forums who shilled at every opportunity and is now one of the biggest names in the business. If your gonna do something commit to it you sorry piece of shit. I hate people like you, people who half ass everything. A waste of time is what you are.