They literally casted Jason Momoa as Conan and the movie flopped

Arny made a good Conan because he actually just acts like a fuckin moronic barbarian. Also he punched a camel.

>entire movie was advertised with 3d bullshit when everyone was starting to hate that gimmick

that's the real reason it bombed

so you admit they're painted then

Everything good about the Arnie Conan was systematically stripped away to make the most corporate piece of shit generic action sword and sandal fantasy that I have ever had the displeasure of watching.

No offense, but he's mediocre as fuck an actor at best. Aquaman was smart to have him say fairly little.

It was a really, really terrible script, and even worse, it just covered the same ground.

I went to watch it with a tinder date
She jerkedd me off while still watching, probably lusting for khal drogos horse cock
I ain't even mad

He has charisma, tho. He made SG:A much more watchable when he replaced the black dude.

Yea Forums, What is best in life?

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>moronic barbarian
conan is the thinking man's barbarian

They literally painted on his abs.

That's what they get for 56%-washing the Barbaryan.

This.

Read a Conan book.

Arnold was the farthest thing from Conan, he's a terrible terrible Conan and his Conan movies are terrible Conan movies.

They're great s&s movies, but bad Conan movies.

Yeah but he isnt a man acting like a barb. He was a barb. Mamoa is some fag in makeup.

Conan is a dark haired, swarthy guy in the book and comic.

He looks perfect and could probably had made a decent Conan but the people making this film were fucking retarded, apparently Jason begged them to let him do the arnie sword stance they woudn't let him, also asked if they could please let him do a bit of thieving again they wouldn't let him

do you know anyone named conan? i know a dude and he`s probably one of the smallest guys i know, 160cm tops
its kinda funny because with a name like that you`d expect a big guy

Ill give you that. I have no idea what Conan is. When I think Conan I just think of a brute man. I still think Arny nails that shit. First movie is great but the second can eat shit for replacing his bro with some jew.

Conan O'Brien

>Verhoven Conan never ever

what is a good conan movie?

yes, he's a 5'10 poo-in-loo, he's built tho

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To crush the Sneedposters, see them driven before the Big Guys, and hear the lamentations of the çunny.

Yep. Bronze skin, black hair. If anything, Momoa is a better cast for Conan than Arnie was.

>cedilla on the c

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He does it to avoid filterfags like myself but I have that filtered as well

fuck this character for making me think the game was gonna be good

I saw this movie in theaters. Holy shit it was bad.

First of all why the hell did they make a completely original story? There are literally dozens of fantastic Conan stories they could have used from Robert E Howard. Instead we got some stupid new stuff.

Secondly the editing was atrocious. There is literally a scene on the ship where Conan and his love interest are kissing and it is night time. The scene then shows that the ship is being attacked and everybody heads to the top deck to fight them off and suddenly IT IS BROAD DAYLIGHT.

Choose.

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brolin is like 5'6"

The original Conan formula should have been continued. Schwarzenegger hardly talked the whole first movie. The supporting cast depth was quite good, and of course the evil dude was excellent. As it should be, the evil opposition defines the movie.

Can't you just let me make a pun?

You’re a drawing retard

protip: should've had a carlos img

The straight-to-video sequel was pretty bad though. I doubt a feature film airing in theaters could've been much better.

The script blew. See most of the movies that cast Momoa force him to be this edgy brooding badass and it comes off awful. He's a naturally charismatic dude and it shows in Aquaman where he's even playful.

Now Dredd there's a tragedy. Hardly any marketing done but the DVD sales were pretty good so that probably means something. Karl Urban did a great job as Dredd and unfortunately the rest of the movie couldn't match his performance.

Not Momoa's fault, the film was shite. He might have been OK as Conan with a different script.

He was fine as Conan. Melancholic and mirthful when the situation demanded it. Moved like a panther.

But everything else about the movie sucked.

It was still better than Reach.

How is it Momoa's fault if most writers in Hollywood completely suck cock these days. The fuck is wrong with you faggots, isn't this Yea Forums or is it /capeshit/ now?

I have a full collection of every Conan story on my Kindle and I can't make it farther than one page every time I try reading it. It's so tedious.

so many white chicks wanna get fucked by jason mamoa

It wasn't straight to video. The Destroyer was an extremely expensive movie directed by Richard Fleischer who was one of the most accomplished directors back then.
God knows what went so horribly wrong, surely not the lack of talent.

It wasn't an awful movie, it was just no where as good as the original.

Literally nobody fucking cares about Conan

I do

Should've made him the son of Conan and the random slave girl that Conan fucked in screen when he was a slave.

Instead of giving him some big important heroes journey.. just have it be about his adventures through Hyborea and Aquilonia. For a good have Arnold cameo as the "man made king by his own hand". No lines. No direct interaction. Just part of the set with Conan's face and weapon and a brief allusion to "looking kinda like him".

I had that impression. Never saw it playing in theaters, yet the first Conan movie had posters all over the lobby. Meanwhile the sequel had no advertisement whatsoever in my area so I just assumed it was one of those straight-to-video sequels.

to give Conan a wider appeal he made it more comedic and it was terrible, still watch it at least once a year tho

Hmm

>God knows what went so horribly wrong
Making a script from some dickhead's d&d campaign is a hug leap in the wrong direction.

It was the fucking producers ruining shit, as usual. I would love to see the original R-rated version.

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Someone needs to do a properly costumes scene with PIC as Conan the Barbarian, completely seriously, with proper sets and weapons.

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It flopped for the same reason as Conan the Destroyer killed the franchise. It’s Conan, it needs to be gritty, brutal and visceral, no Millius no Conan.

excellent post

kek

Wrong, the movie was good. It's just than people don't care about Conan.

KING CONAN (2021) film script leak:

>King Conan (Arnold Swartzenegger) is growing old and looking to see which of his sons will inherit his kingdom
>one prince is an effete petty homosexual, the other a fat sloth
>Conan realizes he's spoiled them, and neither are worthy to rule
>Suddenly, he gets word: years before he had an affair with a handmaiden, and she had borne a child
>He has the young lad (Josep Baena) fetched
>Having been raised in a simple life, he lacks the vices of his siblings
>Conan takes him under his arm and trains him
>A few years later, he announces that he has adopted him to be his legal heir
>The princes are shocked and filled with rage
>Before it's to be announced publically at the upcoming festival games, the princes conspire to have Conan murdered, and their sibling framed
>He barely escapes, and lives in exile
>trilogy of films ending with him recapturing his crown

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>Rachel Nichols has first and to date only real sex scene
>uses a body double
I literally burned the cinema down and shot anyone running out

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Wow

Momoa is a ladies' man but Conan is a dude's dude

>be tan from a life under the sun as a naked barbarian
>AYYO U BE SAYIN...?!
Jesus fucking Christ

There is a history of bad Conan movies. Kull was name changed from Conan but it is a sequel.

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idiot Kull is a different r.e.h story

rachel nichols and ron perlman were the only good things about that movie

i guess stephen lang was okay

They switched it when Arnold said he wouldn't do a third movie.

yea

>casting a polynesian as a caucasian

Momoa is a shit actor. All he is capable of doing is flexing muscles, grunting and parrotting one liners

So early arnie?

The movie was fucking awful and Momoa was also terrible in it

so a perfect Cona if they would justlet him do his thing, the creators of this shitfest of a film were retarded only the egg race at the beginning was any good, it makes you wonder how they fucked it up so bad when they literally had a perfect Conan and the budget to make it work

>make a shit movie
>it flops
Stop making shit movies then.

What fucking else would you need from a Conan movie?

thumbnail looks like a fucking Chad version of Spoony

>Literally nobody fucking cares about Conan
What a waste of a post. Contemplate your bad opinion on the tree of woe.

it was post-GoT ..

We had a roach exchange student in uni named Conan, he was a spitting image of pic related

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the kino we need but don't deserve

Nah

Go watch got again, drogo was barely in the fucking show.

Because it was a shit movie and Momoa can't hold a candle to prime Arnold. Momoa's Conan is a soiboi compared to the Milius version.

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He's tanned from being under the sun a lot but he has blue eyes. Cimmerians are based on the Celts, so he's white.

this sexy beast was in it.

>I need to watch this movie.

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>celts
>tanning
Yeah fucking right.

She's generic. I'll take the valkyrie over her.

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They tan in the mythical land of Venice Beach.

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which is why I'm worried about him being in Dune

Even then he didn't have anywhere near as much charisma a Teal'C.

Not her best work even by Rach's standards though

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They literally had Godzilla, Rodan, Ghidorah and Mothra in a top-tier CGI remake and it flopped.

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Because nobody cares about them. They've always been a niche.

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>the barbarian clans

That's the moment I walked out of the cinema

That's fair. That original crew - Sam, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'C - had some great chemistry up until they decided to make Jack comedy relief only.

There was no high adventure

>No Milius
>No Basil Poledouris score
Just get Mel to direct King Conan with user's plot
Opening battle scene of Arnie body slamming Warwick Davis for 20 mins, or however long his puny midge frame can withstand before bursting like a rotten melon.

Film was generic as hell considering the source material and lore they had to work with.
Pic related however and her hilarious outfit and hairline didn't stop the filthy thoughts I had of her throughout the film.

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>Cimmerians are based on the Celts, so he's white
Nice try, potatonigger, but
>The origin of the Cimmerians is unclear. They are mostly supposed to have been related to either Iranian[2][3][4][5][6] or Thracian[7] speaking groups which migrated under pressure of the Scythian expansion of the 9th to 8th century BC.[8]
Conan confIrmed for a caucasian/med BVLL, nordcucks can't even compete.

That Conan movie had 99 problems but Momoa as the lead wasn't one.

I liked the movie tbqh. I mean yeah it was trash, but at least it was a tolerable Conan movie and I want more ;_;

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Because it was PG13 shit when Conan is about tits, sex, blood and swords. It doesn’t matter who they cast when they infantilise the film like that.

That movie had probably the most atrocious CGI i've seen in the 2010s and that says a lot

Duncan in the original Dune is a side character who has like two scenes before dying. He only becomes a major character after being cloned in the later books.

>up until they decided to make Jack comedy relief only.
It legit felt like he'd gotten brain damage from his adventures towards the end. Like, he stopped being sarcastically dumb and just got dumb.

Sequel was 4 years late.

Of course. Consider the money put in.
What? You think Aquaman made money because of him?

Even perfect casting can't save a movie if the writing and directing is bad.

imagine thinking that this kaiju shit is relevant to the normies
nice dubs tho

Cimmerians in Conan's lore is Celtic wetdream ya zoomer. Conan was written as pulp stories in 30s, and the author deliberately choose historical sounding names but mixed it up to create a sorta believable ancient past thats was all forgotten when Mesopotamia was formed, a lost age of humanity.

fucking burger education...EVERY FUCKING TIME

t. assmad celt.

Fuck off arniefag. Yeah the movie had a stupid plot but Momoa was a far, far more accurate adaption of the original Robert E. Howard creation.

because of the hair color?

are you a nigger or a shitskin?

Just admit you want early 80's Conan to fuck you in the ass. It's almost 2019 and you can be comfortable with your gayness, despite what the meanies on Yea Forums say.

You have a crush on him because he's in your precious cape shit you zoomer fag

Because Momoa's Conan as a character was just a far better portrayal of the original pulp character. Try reading the original stories. They're free online and fun as hell to read.

Such hostility. You must have had to repress your gay feelings for Arnold for a long time now. Very sad.

>Arnold was the farthest thing from Conan, he's a terrible terrible Conan and his Conan movies are terrible Conan movies.
You're the biggest brainlet retard on this board, I want you to know that.

How does it feel to be such a contrarian retard?

The fuck is wrong with you

Ever read any of the Jack Reacher books? That's kind of what Conan was like. Not so much a juiced up bodybuilder as an operator as fuck savage who shows up, fucks everyone's shit up and leaves with the girl and the money.

>Arniefag acting snobby about capeshit
L O L

Know, O prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Aryas, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars - Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingara with its chivalry, Koth that bordered on the pastoral lands of Shem, Stygia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Hyrkania whose riders wore steel and silk and gold. But the proudest kingdom of the world was Aquilonia, reigning supreme in the dreaming west.

Hither came Conan the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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I'm sure I've seen that roid-gutted pool guy on /fit/.

They literally casted Jason Momoa as Aquaman and the movie succeeded.

>and the author deliberately choose historical sounding names but mixed it up to create a sorta believable ancient past
Ah, so he was just your average retarded anglo burger without any clue about the history more ancient than last 300 years, gotcha.

Why have we yet to see a series based on this shit? Sounds fucking dope.

I am kinda amazed that Arnold was never able to pull some connections to get a good King Conan movie made.
after Terminator 2 he only made those cheap trash movies

too based to ever get made

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what movie?

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.

>MAMOAD

War Craft

He broke out with Atlantis you mongs.

Nobody broke out with Atlantis