Best films to show a girl on a date?

>First time girl is over to my place
>Put on Master and Commander
>End up having to boot her out and call her a cab

Needless to say, it was the last time we did anything together.

Girls are good for 69ing and Blowie Joey's and cuddling and squeezing but when it comes time to do literally anything else beyond this they are dead weight. Go jerk off user

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most of those posts are clearly larping virgins

do girls generally have the patience to read subtitles? I'd love to watch Stolen Kisses or Bay Of Angels with a girl, and those seem like movies that girls would dig if they weren't in French.

Please use the proper version.

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/r/ing baneposter hires escort

How would she know he came in his pants?
And if he did, why would he send her away immediately, instead of playing with her tits or make her do something weird?

soul

souless

How much do I have to pay an escort to let me watch them shit?

tetsuo guy here, still a virgin desu
turns out that was my one shot

based

Based shit poster.

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You think that's bad?

>Finally sick of being KHV, decide to lose it with an escort
>Get it all set up with a girl, even get a hotel room
>Everything ready, bit nervous but just waiting for her
>Get call she arrived and coordinate which room for her to go to
>Open the door to meet her, first time face to face
>She looks me up and down and poorly hides a look of confusion
>Sighs and holds the side of my face
>"Oh no no honey, this isn't for you. You need to find yourself a girlfriend."
>Refuses to even take my money

Should have just bought a gun and ended it.

Bullshit.

Rape her

No way she did this.
No way.
No whoar decides to not turn down business.

You'd be amazed how many escorts turn men down for petty reasons. Some are hilariously arrogant, and it can be hard to tell which since their online ads are all identical.

At least he wasn't a literal whore

>Should have just bought a gun and ended it
It's never too late

*breathes in*

Sounds like you were under 30 more than anything. You’re probably in that goldilocks virginity zone where you aren’t ugly but no one pursues you either. She’s right though any sex outside the norm is bad for the soul.

>>"Oh no no honey, this isn't for you. You need to find yourself a girlfriend."
No, you misremember. What I actually said was:
>"Umm, no sweetie. Have sex"

Funny, when I lost my virginity to two prostitutes in Germany both of them asked why I didnt have a girlfriend and couldn't understand how I was a virgin.
They probably say that to all the virgins though. They were nice to me.

Happened to me at least. Example was not as pathetic as that, but you can get turned down for dumb reasons.

The notebook man, I suppose it works for me because girls tell me I resemble gosling. 20 minutes in and she was fucking me on the couch.

what "quasi-GFE" means?

We've been watching The Terror lately. Otherwise we usually watch Seinfeld, Frasier, or Trailer Park Boys together. She says she didn't like them before she started watching them with me.

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You have 20 SECONDS to prove you've ever HAD SEX by describing EXACTLY how it feels, RIGHT NOW.

Attached: idwwc3d8ywb11.jpg (938x768, 99K)

ugly girl with ugly shit around 250$
ugly girl with nice shit around 350$
nice girl with ugly shit around 500$
nice girl with nice shit around 750$

quasi-girlfriend experience
in theory, GFE is vanilla sex

girlfriend experience

Of course dude. Did you also believe them when they gasped in lust at seeing your cock?

Like the inside of your cheek

Where do I find girls who are actually turned on by it and would enjoy it?

It's like having your dick sucked by a mouth with no teeth.

>Be me on a second date with a 10/10 20 yo with double D tits qtpie
>After some drink she tells me she is heading home
>I offer to accompany her as the streets aren't safe
>When arriving at her home she ask me if I want to drink something at her place
>Accept respectfully
>We arrive at her fat I tell her I'm gonna choose something on netflix
>Put on some kino comedy serie
>I watch her reaction during the best bits
>She laugh, she likes it
>Second episode comes in, I have one hand on her thigh, one hand in her hand
> I caress her but I haven't kissed her enough because we are both watching the TV
>Finally I realize we've been watching too many episode and I should kiss her
>Lean in
>She muffle "FINALLY" before kissing me
>She is so into me that she awkwardly hit her glasses on mine when we kiss
>itsalreadylate.jpg
>Go home without fucking her
>Never get another chance with her again
>Litteraly broken inside for a few months

Heed my warning anons, never put kino with a girl. Your goal isn't to enjoy yourself but to fuck her, don't get distracted by kino, put shit on so you'll do everything in your power to make it stop by fucking

Salty sandy milky coin bags

>itsalreadylate.jpg
>Go home without fucking her
>Never get another chance with her again
What
Why didn't you just stay or fucking call her

Rape is the only way to rectify the situation

Haha no, not even I was that blueeyed.
But they genuinely seemed disturbed/melancholic about my fate, stroking my chin and stuff. Anyways I'm probably projecting.
Of course I'm a sperg so I started to ask stupid questions like where they were from and if they had family and stuff of that nature,so I fucked up the mood pretty fast.

She says that to every guy

>want to get escort
>don't want to put the woman in the situation that she'd have to take my gross body and being
>just want to get one fuck to get it over with

I lost weight too, but now I'm all flabby and weirdly shaped. Fuck my life.

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>things that indoril nerevar happened

Does fucking a toothless old woman in the face count as sex then

>Having a GF once
But that's already more succesful than probably 85% of 4channel anons.

>Where do I find girls who are actually turned on by it and would enjoy it?
mental ward

>Put on some kino comedy serie
Wanna know how I know this story is fake and you are a cancerous underage newfag?

>been seeing the same prostitute for a few months
>Lost my virginity to her, only person I've ever fucked
>She's semi attractive and not too expensive
>Normally do it in a hotel but I can't afford it and just invite her back to my place
>We fuck for the amount of time I paid for
>Just as she is about to leave she sees my dvd of an old film called "a matter of life and death"
>Says thats her favourite film, asks if she can watch it
>We watch a film together, we don't do anything
>She phones up the next day and asks if I want to hang out
>When we meet up I ask if I can have sex with her
>She tells me no, because she thinks we have gotten too close
>asks if we can be friends

Did I get friendzoned by a prostitute? What can I do to fuck her again?

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Attached: come nerevar.png (814x779, 648K)

>
>Where do I find girls who are actually turned on by it and would enjoy it?
Oh brother those are rare, the luckiest you'll usually get are girls who think it's funny and just play along or want to get paid

>want to get an escort
>to scared to fall into a trap

>The girls I was paying to fuck me said nice things about me
Weird.

kek

i recognize this pasta

You can post her contact details and we can have a word with her

>What can I do to fuck her again?
pay her

>be me
>fucking a whore again
>she's too fat and I don't get off
>I just tell her to get out
>she's still freaked out from the "gunshots" she heard earlier
>I tell her that it's new years eve and what she heard was fireworks
>No, I know the difference between fireworks and gunshots
>if you say so
>she then tells me that if anyone does try to shoot her she'll light them up because she keeps a gun for protection
>I know you don't have a gun, because I just saw you naked.
>I do have a gun in my car's glovebox
>how fucking useful do you think a pistol is going to be if you leave it- it doesn't matter, just get out

It wasn't fucking gunshots in the first place, it was fireworks like I said. damn I miss living in the skids though I should go back

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F

This story is fake, but the message is true. Girls only want two things, your money or your cock. Anything else is a waste of time to them.

God, there's nothing worse than getting a boner while wearing jeans.
Shit hurts so bad.

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Totally made up. If he was an awkward virgin like that he wouldn't have got it up at all. The more sex you have the quicker you finish. When i was an awkward teenager i could go for an hour.

You are being too harsh on yourself

lmao

That is my fear as well. It can be some beautiful woman who has some bossnigga as a pimp and then just robs me.

I consider bringing my gun for protection, but then Id look like some psychopath or cop.

I recall this copypasta

Youd be surprised, some girls these days are fucking dogs they're all so over sexualized

delicious pasta

Where can I find a whore this beta?

Do you live in Brazil or something?

For you, sex is something amazing and unfathomable right now. For her, it's like taking a piss. She's done much worse things with uglier people than you, also women aren't as physically motivated as men. Just be nice to her (but not a little bitch) and she won't care about your weird half melted body.

The pain is good

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Ikr like how can you still be a virgin past high school all people do back there is fuck lmao

What happened?

If you don't have a hymen the state of having had sex or not having had sex is a fucking spook anyway, there's no physical evidence, are you a virgin if you get your dick wet once without nutting? What about if you jerk off on her ass, are you only not a virgin if you blow your wad inside? Plenty of guys with gfs who fuck regularly would be bonafide virgins in that case, it's dumb

>I fall in love with a girl.
>Unable to confess, I'm gifted by a deus ex machina with the girl's phone number.
>Never minding the strange area code, I immediately call her, and I'm overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on me as well.
>But, the next day, when I recount the previous day's confessions to the girl, she only looks at me with a perplexed expression.
>After some investigation, I find out that the girl I called is not the same girl I fell in love with.
>In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is the girl's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with my own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
>Hijinks ensue as we strike up a deal to give each other our darkest, most private secrets in order to equip one another with the weapons we need to conquer the heart of our other selves.
>While we chase our respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as we begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.

Thank goof prostitutes are gigaillegal here, I would burn through my money so fast otherwise

>"woah cool benis finally entering vagoo"
>extreme warmness massaging all of benis
>"hory shit this is way better than fapping"
>15 seconds in
>"mmm let me just relax a bit and enjoy this"
>5 seconds later
>benis skeets uncontrollably into condom as prostitute jumps off in shock

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this

It is overrated.

She had work on the next day, I had school but didn't even go. It was something like 5 o'clock. I don't like to fuck in a jiffy. Especially the first time, I take 2 or 3 hours to do the deed
Am I in the matrix and all of my life is just a lie ?
Story isn't fake. That's how I got the message
Story is real down to the size of her tits, and they might have been even bigger

Literally this, girls in high school are desperate to prove how grown up they are and want to brag to everyone they know about having a boyfriend, all you have to do is be available.

Then when they start growing up more they start caring about money and status and that's when post sex virginity kicks in for us 4channalers

...

You lose your virginity once your dick penetrates the vageen, that's it. There's not much mystery to it.

>protitture
>dodede cumming
>shciocked

syur

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Already a thing.

fictionpress.com/s/3206139/1/
youtube.com/watch?v=JcVGDV67L-g
youtube.com/watch?v=o_rz1bluG_k
webtoons.com/en/challenge/keit-ai/list?title_no=36825

lying twat. lurk 2 years before posting.

made-up.

Some bitch went into a rant at me because I hid my caller ID. Hung up almost immediately. Anyone with a lick of business sense would've ignored that.

Unless you want a dumb flick to play in the background while you fuck, I've watched Good Time and Coherence with pretty much every girl I've been with and they enjoyed it

Took me a minute.

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So if you stuck it in once, whipped it back out, zipped up your pants, went home and told all your friends that exact story and asked am I no longer a virgin they'd say yeah good for you man
Bullshit

FINDS

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>was drunk as fuck and could barely get an erection
i vividly remember it being unsatisfying and vaguely awkward the following morning though.

>dante's peak
do you really think some escort would remember the title of the movie of some weirdo at her first call?
doubt it

Feels like your dick is wrapped in latex then placed in a moving, loose, wet, semi-hot microwave

Well a cunt was there for you to take, you did the hard part

big if true

reminder that all women are whores and to never put your guard down

Poor guy

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The geek grrl stuff is the worst of this, sounds like she genuinely helped that guy through a sticky time, used her body for the benefit of others and to earn some $ at the same time, good for her

Only a virgin would nitpick this hard
This

Based script poster

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>he wears condoms
Oh no no no no

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yeah, dipshit, it's called an in and out for a reason.
or are you tryin to dip out of a rape charge nigga kek

What the fuck are you even trying to argue ya weirdo

Who needs a gf when you have Dante's Peak? It's Peak Disaster Kino.
youtube.com/watch?v=vfIUYDjo8WM

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dick would get raw from the amount of time my dick was in my exs mouth

shit hurt breh

Rip grandma
youtube.com/watch?v=42dA6_lL9Kg

Escorts offer "the girlfriend experience," do any of them let you rough them up? Nothing that will leave a mark or require medical care, just throwing her around, pinning her down by the wrists, shouting at her, going through her texts looking for evidence of "cheating," stuffing condoms in her mouth and teling her the only protection needed is for my ears from her stupid whore mouth, etc. I tried it with the last escort I hired under the assumption that escorts would be game for mostly anything, but she just started sobbing and left without taking my money and wouldn't answer my texts.

You don't find it weird that we measure something so psychically and physically crucial to our bodily development in such arbitrary terms?
Or maybe more importantly that we somehow convince ourselves the terms are not arbitrary at all
Like I said it's all a fucking spook

>do any of them let you rough them up?

Will they rough me up?

If you fuck random women regularly you better be using condoms

Me Richie Rich over here who can afford $400 whores.

>left without taking my money
You had me up to there

based realism seeking poster

>We arrive at her fat

>can't meet girls at nightclubs because there are almost none where I live and they're shit/attract shitty people
>can't find girls on dating apps because they've already been swarmed by hundreds of messages by thirsty subhumans
So where do I meet women?

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Fucking newfag I was probably lurking here when you were still sucking your mother teats.

>Perfectly normal story
>Just a genuine minor fuck up of a young lad
> WTF I DONT BELIEVE YOU
What part of the story do you autist don't believe ?

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>400 bucks
Why are burgers paying so much for hookers? You can get one for 50 bucks anywhere in EU

No

At work/through friends
>uh oh

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just be yourself bro

>can't find girls on dating apps
Yeah you can, just nitpick your good photo or two and personalize your message when you write them instead of just sending a mass spam e-mail. Worked for me back in the day.

Don't forget uni!

I only fuck random women
On the good side it means I'll lose my vanilla sex virginity the first time I fuck without condom.
I had this girl I fucked in a one night stand who seemed very interested in me.
She even straight up talked about anal when we fucked
I tought I could get a GF, anal and fucking whitout condom but she just straight up ghosted me after we exchanged a few pleasant messages
Bitches are crazy

>Dante's Peak
A based man of taste.

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This is gold

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Xes evah

Why would you show a girl a movie? They just ruin the experience.

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flat *
> > I caress her but I haven't kissed her enough because we are both watching the TV
Kissed yet *

I feel your pain. I'm out in the stix's where all the girls might have a highschool education and always have kids.
>where meet woman
I've got no idea

The Nice Guys. Trust me.

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Unironically start chatting up cute foreign girls on tumblr, this worked for me and now I'm not lonely. If you get a central or eastern european girl youd be surprised at how based a girl can still be these days

Nervous sweat and made me wanna die

4th of july

>Watch Tetsuo the iron man
>Be an Iron bitch
I bet you didn't fuck that night

People dont have sex user it's completely unrealistic

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Sure, if you like paying a lot of money and behaving like a pure gentleman in order to impress the sloppiest of used up roastie. Expand your search methods you poor grizzled old man.

you didnt ask her for an explanation?

I don’t really consider sex with a condom sex. It’s like simulated sex or something. The difference(to me) is huge. One reason hookers aren’t that appealing to me. Also, if you have only had sex with condoms you are still a virgin.

holy fuck I don't care if it's fake that's hilarious

Keep going dude

correct

>Also, if you have only had sex with condoms you are still a virgin
Not if you’re female.

El basado

having a friend to watch comfy movies with wouldn't be too bad honestly

Both times I had sex I was drunk and couldn't feel anything. I don't know if it's because I jerk off too much and killed any sensitivity I had, or if it was the alchohol, but it was incredibly underwhelming.

>get escort
>text her that I want the gf experience
>I set up in the hotel room
>she comes in with her average dress and coat
>wtf.jpg
>no sweater or jeans from the 90's slightly acid washed
>I ask her if she brought the tendies
>she must have misheard
>she goes through her purse and brings out condoms
>no fuckin tendies
>abouttolosemyshit.gif
>Well did you at least bring a movie?
>"Y-yeah..."
>she puts it in the dvd player, would have preferred a VHS copy, but whatever, bitch doesnt know about quality
>movie begins to play
>no menue of course sunce she fucking ripped it
>probably not even yiffy
>M Night Shamalans Avatar begins to play
>I scream at the bitch, toss her around how could she get the wrong fucking kino too?! Bitch probably is a Kathryn Bigelow fan
>forgive her transgressions and then try and prep for the milky time
>I begin to paw at her breastd wanting milky
>no milky come
>proceed to cry for milky
>she just improvises and gives me powdered coffee creamer
>Ill give her thst
>she jacks me off and I cum on her fur coat
>she leaves with the speed of a M Night Shamalan bomb

I rated her 2/5 stars on yell. I created a page for her skank ass too.

it's smelly, humiliating and uncomfortable

user writing a text is literally the easiest thing you can ever do to impress a roastie. And I don't see where the money comes in here.

>can't meet girls at nightclubs because I'm too scared to go
>Can't find girls on dating apps because I'm too scared to text them

That's all I hear.

Back pain and not much else. I kept saying it’s not going anywhere what am I doing wrong and she said she is just too tight and I should thrust better. I didn’t finish and my back got tired. Then she got up and left immediately.

She didn’t respond for several days until she told me she found a homeless dude and got him a hotel room and stayed with him for the weekend.

This was the closest I ever got to a gf.

I guess. But think about it, it’s like if you hug a chick with clothes on, it’s nothing. Could be anyone and probably meaningless, unlikely to even get you aroused. Hugging a chick while you are both naked? That’s a whole different experience. Condoms are penis clothes. The sensation is totally different(or rather largely missing) it makes the whole thing seem fake and impersonal. But more then anything, the sensation man. Every time anyone has ever been underwhelmed by sex it’s always the condom, or some shitty curcumcision. If your dick works right and you go raw in a chick it’s amazing full stop.

Describe the smell so I can imagine it

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>drunk as fuck on meetme cruising for sluts
>msg some 18yo black girl with $ signs in her name and profile
>she will drive over and meet up and fuck for 100$
>fuck her once nut inside her pussy
>getting progressively more drunk
>fuck her again but i cant bust
>realize i dont have any money
>throw her out of my house
>do this 3 more times to different money chasing sluts on dating apps

i should have thought about this years ago. i mean really if youre a big dude with a gun what the fuck is some hoe going to do to you

Both wrong.

It's mostly sweat, pussy juice (which has its own weird smell, just like a benis) and her scent which is a combination of perfume and other stuff.

when I was on xoloft I could fuck for an hour minutes before blowing. ended up getting jerked off to finish and practically hit the roof with the cumshot

It was probably both, mixed in with the desensitization that comes with circumcision if you're unfortunate enough to have been branded.

They won’t do much likely besides some vandalism. But sooner or later one of those hoes will convince a bigger guy with a bigger gun to come mess you up. That’s their only play really and they are pretty good at it. So many white knights out there, and they aren’t all scrawny betas.

>If your dick works right and you go raw in a chick it’s amazing full stop.
Can't fucking wait omg.
Tbf sex with a condom is still good and it protect me from low llife lying bitches

I've had sex before
I measured recently and I'm barely 5 inches

once one even looked at me once and hand over mouth meme laughed with her friends while pointing at me the next time I saw them after a disaster attempt at sex and cumming too soon

Nah user texting is easy you're right but most sloppy sluts are expecting a 40 year old chad with an endless wallet to take them out to eat every meal of every day and buy them things as well
None of them are looking for a bro to watch kino with and fuck, trust me

>Can't fucking wait omg.
Calm down you thirsty faggot lmao.

How many times have you actually tried going to nightclubs and dating apps in order to have come to that conclusion? Don't lie.

Initially it's great, after a few months of the same woman it gets boring and all you can do is imagine you're fucking other women.

>redhead

Dodged a bullet.

Yeah I'm circumcized too. Guess I'm just triple fucked and can't enjoy sex.

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thats true but these girls arent pimped theyre just dumb little sluts, of which theres a never ending supply online these days

"recently" anyone with a small dick is measuring that at age 13

>Blowie Joey's

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>what is reading comprehension
Nightclubs twice, dating apps, literally an innumerable amount, my experience is so vast yours would pale in comparison, this is how I know you are wrong

>someone asked him to prom
>they didnt just assume he wasnt going

wtf i thought ronnie was our guy

Maybe you're just unattractive. I started using Tinder a couple weeks ago and I got a bunch of conversations and one date.

Sex is like an tier A masturbation

I m not thristy nigga I m a fucking manfour
Of course I want to fuck (without condom)
Get the hell out you miserable selfhating soiboi

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This guy gets it
You don't go swimming with your shoes on

I'm with you brother. What's the point of even getting a GF if you cant feel the sex? What's the point of anything or even trying
>tfw we never even had a chance, they ruined us at birth

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>clubs
Lost count.

>Apps
Extensive experience, tiny amount of luck in a very long period.

Face it, sometimes it's not 100%, entirely Your Fault™ when things don't go your way. I know that's all your next post is going to consist of, so kindly fuck off.

give head

How does a need loser like me get a escort?
I can't invite her over to me because I live with my parents and there is no hotel near me.

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You're missing my point user, I've had success on tinder as well, but it's all low quality women who want the world and have been used by generations of other men before you. It's not worth it.

How the fuck does a fat nondescript incel get this to happen to them when I was 6'5", in naturally decent shape, was widely acknowledged as funny, went to all the parties, was leader of a bunch of clubs, aced all the exams and I'm still a KHV?

Mate you’ll be lucky if it’s a pimp. They mostly want money or at worst to teach you a lesson and are easily scared off(like with that gun you have). It’s gangster brothers or cousins or whatever you gotta worry about. You screw over enough trashy hoes and you’ll find one that has a crew of retards with guns wrapped around her finger. Just saying don’t get too cocky my man, women can be really good at getting a possy together, even one idiot can be enough to ruin your day. Keep in mind they don’t have to be honest about what happened

Do you have a car you could bang in? That could be fun, almost like you're a teenager again or something like that. I remember fuxking in my gfs mini van and then waking up in freezing january temperatures without any heat and frozen love juices, good times, bad memories

nope I only have this PC and my room also I think I look ugly as fuck.

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according to the comic he didn't do anything

It's okay friend it really isnt worth it in the end anyway.

protip to all the virgin freaks out there

If you want to lose your virginity in style literally unironically go for a milf escort, preferably one over 40-50 and find a mommy type. Tell them you're literally a virgin freak and struggle with girls your age and 100% she will be flattered you want to lose ur virginity to her and will most likely throw in free stuff. I did this 5 years ago, paid for 1 hour of just blowjob/vaginal sex and she literally gave me everything she offered to make it memorable for me. Spent about 2 and a half hours fucking her and letting her explain everything to me slowly.

nah you'd go through a phase of fucking one every week or so while the novelty is fresh then eventually get bored of generic sex done by 40 year olds.

I'm considering going to a brothel but I have a question for the escort experts on here about how much time to buy. The cheapest seems to be about 40 minutes at all these places, but I feel like that's already too much. If you pay for 40 minutes or so do you just do foreplay for like 20, then shoot your load, then leave? I see some options for like 2 hours and I have no fucking clue what you'd do with all that time.

WARNING
This only works if your dick works too, if you've jerked off a lot or have any anxiety at all, your dick will drop like a led zepplin

10% luck etc

>chads telling virgins to lose their virgin to escorts

RED FLAG

Virgins that do this just end up FAR worse because they realise that the only way after they lose their virginity in the most autistic spergy way possible is through paying for escorts. You run a huge risk losing ur virginity to an escort because it might just turn you literally into a rapist or fuck your mental up more than it already is.

2 hours does seem like a little much, but you would be surprised at how little progress is made in 40 minutes. Go for a happy compromise between the two I guess?

The fact that you're so bitter about how much better than him you are is probably a pretty good indicator as to why no girl ever wanted to date you, incel.

He got kissed by a girl.

calm down incel

okkkkk...... I guess

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What did you need explained?

Why wouldn't I acknowledge that I'm better than somebody when I objectively am?

>no hotel
where the fuck do you live that there's no hotels?
you'd have to find a chick doing incalls then.

Breh most of the virgins here are nearing or already over 30 years old
It's not gonna happen otherwise

yes but he didn't do anything to get it to happen.

Redheads are the best, what are you on about.

Which is even worse. Why him and not me?

Clearly not, virgin.

I'm too scared to have sex/try for a girlfriend because my dick is fucked up, whenever I get hard it literally points to the sky and cant bend down to a horizontal angle. In porn the girl always gets on top and can ride but I wouldn't be able to do that because with me laying on my back my dick points to my face and if i force it up vertically it just pings back like a rubber band.

Ive read that its just youthfullness but i'm literally 24 this year. bros...

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you sound like a tryhard faggot. women like easy going guys they can feel comfortable around

Because Ronnie is a god

>watching Curb Your Enthusiasm with gf
>my penis is way too sore from last night and this morning (thx for circumcising me mom)
>She keeps trying to fondle my penis
>i have to bat her hand away repeatedly.

Yeah I am.

Do what this user said if you really want to get your dick wet, but honestly bro so much can go wrong it truly is not worth it. You'll remember this conversation when it's all said and done and you'll know I'm right

I didn't try at all. Highschool was piss easy.

Dick bending is mostly because of tight pants.

t. Elliot Rodger

That doesnt sound like a problem at all, its widely known that a good sec technique is to fuck upwards and scrape the roof, so to speak

lol what. if you're fucking the dick doesn't have anywhere to go but inside and if it comes out you just stick it back in. if the chick is riding you it's not going to come out easily, and if she's giving you a blowjob or handjob then it's irrelevant.

WHY DID OUR PARENTS CUT OUR COCKS BROS WHY
IM NOT EVEN JEWISH FUCKING WHY WHY WHY

I'm not a hapa manlet lmao.

This is a retarded question for a 14 year old let alone a 24 year old

Reminder: you are an ETERNAL KHV until you hear and smell a girls farts.

cuz our mother are mentally ill.

ew

foreskin is gross

the worst part is im not jewish and im not american. The circumcision rate in my country is about 5-10%. It's so fucking rare and my Mom just did it on a whim. None of my younger brothers are circumcised either

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>fat
>choose
Retard

>jew with cut cock watches jewish entertainment and is also and incel
why am I not surprised

Just don't be one of those sad fucks who try to "regrow" their foreskin by stretching their existing dickskin. It looks awful and I can't imagine it feels too good either.

Kill yourself faggot scum

I can almost understand the need for physical violence when I hear about this shit.
>Oh I'll chop of part of my son's cock on a whim!

>ew
Virgin

...

Guys with big dicks have to fuck one way, guys with little dicks fuck another, me personally I'm uncut but a little phimosis-y so I prefer doggy so I can set the pace and force and not have to worry about stretching or God fucking forbid tearing anything
Point is, pornstars can fuck in any position because it's their job, in real life you find what works for you, by the sound of it missionary or some kind of prone bone shit would be great

Do millennials really do this?

Kill yourself faggot scum

Dont worry user I gave up on hope long ago, all i feel now is bitter resentment and impotent insecurity

d-dick size doesnt really matter right? I'm just under 6 inches yet my hand grip around my shaft completely covers from the base to just before the mushroom tip

Its got to be just my big hands right? In porn the girl when she has her hands around the shaft always has so much room before the tip.

well that kinda goes without saying innit

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And I thought I had good reason to be upset at my own mother, jesus fucking christ my dude that's terrible

Kill yourself kike

>literally verifiably average dick size
>b-b-but porn said...!

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>get tfw no gf feels
>fap
>it goes away

this simple trick has kept me sane for years lads

>trusting porn to give an accurate portrayal
You fell for the meme user.

6 is totally fine, stop being so insecure

They use something like this. Don't really know how it works, nor do I care to, but it involves stretching out the skin somehow. Makes me physically cringe just thinking about it, there's no way that can feel good.

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Oh good you migrated to this thread. I too hate faggots and I'm a huge fan of your work.

Why are millennials so into body dysmorphia?

Not virgin anymore but I might do that
What if I tell her I'm still a bit inexperienced ?
Or if I ask her I want to know how to make women come

This fucking guy gets it bros

The only way to get a gf if your over the age of 21 and still a virgin is through some sort of nepotism

since we are doing a neet / socially inept circle jerk, could anyone explain to me why i sometimes have painful easily to pluck out facial hair, its obviously not every single strand but its a good 10% or so and it seems that its generally the hairs that are greyed or partially grey

Meanwhile I'm here with no connections just waiting for the trickle-down pusy economy to benefit me

why are boomers so into mutilating their sons?

Literally just lie you retard you're basically a virgin still anyway with an attitude like that. If you go in saying youre inexperienced but not a virgin youre not creating sympathy for yourself, you just look incompetent.

>literal reddit thread up form9ver 2 hrs

Just shave bro why are you plucking like a woman

Buddy does massage parlours and you can hear other customers getting fucked on the other side of the walls. I couldn't do it.

i lost my virginity to some chubby asian girl at 25.
dreams do come true.

Its 6am and comfy thread, have a soul user

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Good thing you're here to tally the minutes and keep things in order, fagtron

because if you do nothing to help your situation you rely on pure luck, and why is he less entitled to luck than you are you incel

bro i have a coat hook for a dick too and it's not a problem at all it just makes you look a bit smoll

So are we going to turn this thread into a brapkino thread or what?

im not sitting there tweezing it for style, they are painful hairs that i am removing with my fingers, its a bad habit, im gonna have to shave anyway cus i pulled out too much

kek

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