If Famous directors were chefs

Holy fucking shit,THIS!

Tarantino
>a selection of various cheeses
Mel Gibson
>steak and mushrooms
Tarkovsky
>surf n turf

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What would Sam Raimi make?

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Tarkovsky is an all you can eat but all the food is bad

Cringe: The Thread

This is LITERALLY 'eddit. Like the definition of it.

CRINGE

Non kosher sausage

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brilliant reply

this

haha sneed

>pancakes and lechon al horno
based

Kek this one isn't too bad

This has gone too far.

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>Nolan
>Exquisite
Kek.

did uwe boll write these comics?

J J Abrams : A bagel.

This one's okay.

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This one arouses me

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Fuck you

Holy fucking shit,THIS!

This one is just weird, since it's not so much a commentary on his style so much as things that exist in his movies.

>Hideaki Anno
>First course is a Happy Meal
>Next two courses are the exact same happy meal
>Next course is 80 proof vodka
>Then 100 proof vodka
>Then 120 proof vodka
>Then straight hand sanitizer

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Should be a festering pile of shit and fart gas on a paper plate

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Why does this artist draw meat bloody as fuck?

finish this off

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>when you're only familiar with the distinct style of a couple directors and have to rely on misguided cultural stereotypes for the rest

no kubrick?

why are there so many of these

Makes you feel smart. Doesn’t mean you are lol and neither is it

Last one.

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>well-balanced meal
>Coca-Cola

Do Americans REALLY...

What's Kubrick?

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Gay

Based

WHY ARE THEY ALL SCREAMING?

Star Wars was never good

Based..Fuck Star Wars.

>DUDE WHAT IF STORM TROOPERS WERE BOBA FETTS DAD
Brilliant, kinomeister George.

should diarrhea shaped like a good meal

If this were accurate Spielberg would be serving a feast of dead children.

Same could be said for...a lot of directors, really. Wes Anderson comes to mind

Cameron is a type 4

>not a nigger cock served on a tiny woman's feet

Gay

chibi Wes Anderso is cute

noice

V. Nice

Uwe has always been an idea man.

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based
cameron's true calling is in theme park ride experiences

Nah the coen brothers are good

wrong on at least one

put the coen brothers under 2 or 3.

dino nuggets & neat gin

Von Trier is No.2 but with sharp peanuts

Only accurate one

>Jon Favreau
>grilled cheese

I wish I had the money to finance Uwe Boll shitpost movies.

yeah, but he'd let you know prior to that youre gonna be sitting in some wacky mechanical chair that feeds you popcorn. accurate.

accurate

disingenuous

Reddit opinion

not pretentious enough

This picture is extra creepy when you realize how satanic Spielberg is.

Miyazaki makes video games, what are you talking about?

What a load of shit....

>Serves you literally the thing you have eaten the most in your life, however, the meal is 10/10
>You're not surprised, but entirely satisfied.

Is that a slice of Swiss Cheese? Who drew this retarded shit?

Whats Peter Jackson’s cuisine policy?

>This whole thing was just a front for a seething marvelfag

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I don't like Star Wars and even I know this is bullshit.

GODS I WAS STRONG

That's not even a steak. It's a roast.

Important distinction between "feel smart" and actually being smart.

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what would gene roddenberry serve

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I love how this one got the most replies because people were so anxious to see how it shit on him

how many touch ups has he done by now?

>fucking heineken
>not Miller Light special

Did a woman draw this?
>liter of coke
>well balanced meal

high quality fusion cuisine
then he dies, and the people who took over his restaurant change the menu to lowest-common-denominator schlock covered with rainbow sprinkles

i was gonna reply, but i left that one out. thing is, it's fairly predictable. the uwe boll one got honest replies because it's absurd and he's a bit more difficult to metaphor-ize. the michael bay one is the same vein, entirely predictable so it doesnt deserve much.

steven spielberg is your classic type 5

Yeah. And one with no understanding of nutrition either.

>miyazaki

I thought these were retarded and this was confirmed by this. Only retards suck off miyazaki, even if his movies are decent.

Because American Graffiti and Thx 1138 were retreads

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L
Y
N
C
H
E
D

If anything Lucas's meal should be just mess of everything because he got overly ambitious and tried to put too much in.

everyone seems to just disregard indiana jones and lucas. fucking hell, he deserves a lot of credit for them. even 4 wasnt bad, i just assume people think voodoo magic is awesome and space aliens arent.

>Food analogies

Thank God he put the name of the directors there. His caricatures are as recognizable as Simpson celeb cameos.

Most accurate

based truthposter

Lmao he literally makes crime and heist movies with science fiction elements

>the original Stormtroopers are Mandalorian clones

So why do they suck so bad?

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Yes

Heineken? Fuck that shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon.

That's the joke you fucking idiot

Are you a woman?

and he comes to your table every 2 minutes to change and replace something

oh, I get it, the clam represents a feminine penis

where are the comics of women?

this really should be JJ Abrams with the mouse ears and all

After the trilogy and when shit like the lovely bones came out, then the fucking hobbit it just proved Jackson is a goddamn hack. He literally just got lucky with the fellowship.

Are their films really that hard to understand? Lol whoever made this should stick to posting on v or whatever

>Women
>Director
Pick one.

Where the fuck is Herzog

And then he just gives up and sells a restaurant. The new chief with funny voice and ears chains you to your chair and forcefeeds you rainbow goop. Every time you try to vomit he calls you a nazi.

Gordon Ramsay?

lol

>he doesnt pound back Black Ice and Faxe super strong
whats even the point in drinking light beer

My man

Your drawings are fucking garbo just like Spielberg DNC brainwashing sessions

>Handmade traditional meal
>Sunnyside up, swiss cheese, fried shrimp, lettuce
What the fuck

>Brothers

OP is a faggot since he could have posted the entire thing in a single image
>inb4 9fag
images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aoOENNw_700b_v1.jpg

Astronaut food served in a surprisingly realistic moon-like environment.

This is accurate. Kubrick would be a steak with fries done to perfection.

To this day I still don't understand the amount of hate 4 got. It's one thing to be disappointed, but people acted like it was some abomination. It was a pretty decent flick imo.

>soda
>well balanced meal

Roast BOAAAAAAAAR

Didn't so much as chuckle at any of these. Also the Lynch one just sounds like some dipshitty crap some fat dipshit pseud said online about his work once.

I think that might be the fucking point.

You sound like a boring boar of a bore

it was the same ambiance as any of the others, only with like what, 20 years or so in between?

agreed, unfortunately for me it'd be more like lamb and pilaf

what would denis villenevue be

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Bravo

Molecular cuisine. Good for the eyes but you leave feeling hungry.

looks good but flavourless

lol this one is actually based

>That weird dish, which people keep ordering again and again, not because it tastes good, but because they're addicted to it.

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>implying Lynch's films are meant to make a statement

a Michelin 3-star meal

CAREFUL, NED CAAAAAAAAAREFUL NOW

What would be his?

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Well cooked and served satisfying old fashioned breakfast

>molecular gastronomy
i had no idea this existed until now what the actual fuck

talk shit, get lynched

probably some liberal lesbian feminist bitch vegan retard

how is hayao traditional wtf

Both of you: seek intercourse.

pleb filtered
just wait until you hear his music

What does he say and what is he serving?

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what about kenneth "shakespearean kino" branagh

>say
SHIEEET
>serve
youtube.com/watch?v=3zDHSLDY0Q8

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>Here's you meal. Are you enjoying it so far? Well, i farted on those steaks you eating. Why? To provoke you. Yeah, it's a life. Life is like that, it's cruel and unfair. Sometimes i understand Hitler you know. Ok, bye

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Which is exactly what his films are: superficial references to other films

an absolutely bland and generic burger but it has a little red/green/yellow pan-african flag at the tip of the toothpick and if you dont think its an award winning meal you just dont understand because youre a white dude.

continental breakfast
>"well la dee dah"

>FOOD
>ANALOGY

modernist restaurant but its primary influence is greasy spoon recipes

i like nolan but his movies are like Outback Steakhouse level. slight step up from the usual TGIFs and Olive Garden's but still a chain restaurant.

>Tarkovsky
>not a table full of the most beautiful, photorealistic, inedible wax fruits

Where is John Landis with severed human heads?

It´s been a while since a cartoonist has pissed me off that much, my compliments.

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Imagine being so fat you look at movies and think about food

>Continental breakfast with a black twist
>Food is just chicken and waffles

just like how anime has nothing to do with japanese tradition and is just a rip-off of early american animation

Based desu

I want the old Peele back

With a large pitcher of milk and the aroma of manure wafting in from the barn next door

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half of our political metaphors involve food, this is diet society my negro

>mouse ears

Based as fuck

There's a kid sucking him under that table

Well, to be fair, he does say that a lot.

Nothing because he's a starving Ethiopian

where's the female directors?

what would /ourguy/ be

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JJ Abrams would just be a happy meal he stole from McDonalds that he tries to pass off as his own.

Oh yeah! Like that one... the woman that directed Hurt Locker?

someone make one with mel gibson ovenbaking a jew

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lol

A chuck-e-cheese pizza party that an active gunman has just entered

As someone who dropped star wars when lucas was still in charge (i remember saying fuck it when the cgi movie came out) this is the most offensive shit ever. Whoever did this must be a woman or a dog raping, child molesting faggot

>No, don't eat so fast. You should fully enjoy it!

delightfully devilish

uno farto @ 3:17

BASED

>300 dorrar, gaijin

>Nothing representing “nigger” or feet

kek

The one woman that directed American Psycho and that's really all you need.

Tarantino would be a collage of different cuisines with the word "fuck" written all over.

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>Schindler's list
>A well balanced meal that the whole family can enjoy.

this is the only good one

Wes Anderson is a cute wtf?

>I'M A POPTART MORTY. I'M POPTART UWE.

He should have a variety of items he lifted from other chefs

Should be other directors' meals put through a blender and served on feet with a side of bbc.

You ever see people try to plate up a McDonald's meal to make it look fancy? basically that.
VERY dishonest

perfect

>someone took my shitpost and made an OC about it
god bless you user

Ah yes, I love me some cheap Lambrusco wine.

It's lotus root, you uncultured fucking pleb.

but first watch a 1 hour documentary about how the food is made narrated by Sean Penn

>OMG PEOPLE DRINKING SODA ITS SO UNHEALTHY
he says as he sits down for another 8 hours of 4channel on his computer

Based!!

>sofia copolla
>"my dad invented this meal, but since we share the same name, i tricked you into coming to my restaurant"

This person has absolutely no clue who David Lynch is outside of knowing he makes movies that are "artsy". David Lynch wouldn't even understand that sentence.

Doesn't Uwe run one of the best restaurants in Vancouver?

those are round not square

A slow roast of a drumstick with little to no meat on it that is bathed in neon lights.

Gaspar Noe:
he just punches you in the face and then you leave the restaurant telling everyone it's a meal you have to try at least once

>Rian Johnson
An empty wine glass and a bottle of wine, which he then proceeds to pour all over the table.

Sure. But only if they're used in a dish. Otherwise they're square when used to decorate or a garnish to your meal. Like carrots are sometimes made into shapes in Chinese/Japanese meals.

is he cackling while he does so?

Rian Johnson would look like a different dish but taste the same as the dish George Lucas served.

Harmony Korine - spaghetti served to you in a dirty bathtub with a side of bacon taped to the wall

uno farto

Sad troll

TARANTULA'D

Just for you user

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The pop reflection of his movies, not the best for you but you want to have it's sweetness.

>Lucas
>mouse ears
>reheating when even PT did something different unlike ST

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Not that guy but did you see the concept arts?

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you need to make the microwave a mystery box

Should I turn the mystery box sideways to fit the shape?

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I know you want it to make some kind of sense, but it's still obviously cheese, sorry.

Zack Snyder: a really complex and delicious meal you'll pass over because you only eat McDonalds

maybe you could make it smaller so it looks like it's in the microwave

>when even PT did something different
what substances do you have to take and in what order to be this fucking delusional?

More like cold leftover McDonalds from yesterday with a sign that says "this came from a 5 star restaurant, I promise"

ABSOLUTELY FARTO

>Miyazaki
>Smiling about his own creation

isnt he actually some trust fund kid?

After the clone wars ended the Empre decided to start recruiting non-clones into the ranks. The flood of diversity led to a massive drop in combat performance. This is why troopers are so much more competent during the Clones Wars than they are by the time ANH comes out.

Very good

>a cartoon made me angry
what's it like to be a colossal faggot?

Too wordy dog

>no empire until later half of last episode
>fighting droids, not stormtroopers

truly a master

>Cohen brothers
>boring
>not just having them cook a bunch of wacky jew dishes
Fucking shit
piss
damn

Zack Snyder: You take a bite of what appears to be an exquisite cornish game hen but discover that it is filled with broken glass and feces

i watch to beat the shit out of whoever made this retarded faggotry

How do you make food that signals your subconscious desire to fuck little girls?

Is this supposed to be funny because the reader realizes the artist drawing this shit is an idiot?

I repeat my previous query

Is this better?

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I had a dream last night that I had a phone interview with Spielberg, and his whiny Jew voice set me up for a Jew ambush with a compliment that once accepted he attacked me for accepting. Jew trickery, fuck Spielberg right in his ass.

>Peter Jackson
>still fat or good at directing

>repeating unsupported statements

lol

Lel

>Quentin Tarantino

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10/10

couldn't find any square ones

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This is the only accurate one out of all of them.

Can someone send this to the guy who made the original?

I fixed this one.

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looks incredible and stylish but lukewarm and bland

>if you do the same shit but give it a different name that means it's different
honestly the ST should be right up your alley

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>some guy had to sit here for several minutes making her feet look like a sushi plate
is having a gf literally the same thing as raising a child?

Sushi was a mistake

Holy shit they're all so shitty...

replace sushi with nigger cock

but we want QT's meal, not yours

ask your dad

this board is 18 and up

It's a black male thing. You wouldn't understand, user.

same shit

You sure it wasn't Weinstein?

cute wes

>Elaborate on that
> N O

>if you do the same shit

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based. Malick is yag tier

It should be a massive, overdone meal served in three or four courses completely out of order and there should be an impressionable teenager nearby loudly proclaiming that "IT'S THE BEST EVER!"

>the opposing force are not called stormtroopers they're clone troopers IT'S DIFFERENT
>the evil imposing force is not the Empire it's the Trade Federation and their circular deathball ship has part of a donut around the outside IT'S DIFFERENT
I don't know how anyone as stupid as you can write a complete sentence.

/our guy/

Oughtta be a fast food meal that he haphazardly tried to disguise as his own cooking. And he tells you that if you don't like it you gotta box him.

>well balanced
>coke

does that represent the kike subversion?

and then a slightly older teenager shitting on it in order to make himself feel superior to the other teenager

prequel apologists were a mistake

>evil imposing force is not the Empire it's the Trade Federation
All because they're evil doesn't mean they're the same.

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>comparing CIS to Galactic Empire
>opposing force is an army of droids instead of human beings

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This one only applies to like his first two movies. His most recent ones would be an eye dropped full of LSD and eating sushi off of a naked woman.

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How are the trade fed's robots anything like empire stormtroopers?

>emotionless human beings who have no character are different from droids because I say so

My man. Alternatively you could just eat it while browsing a Tarantino thread here on Yea Forums

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>people who defend the shitty PT are also weaboos who watch anime garbage
color me fucking shocked

>compared to droids who quip uh oh
>the generic baddies aren't expressive so they're same

Tarentino should be frog's legs. But you don't eat it and they have a black man come out and sit down in your seat and eat it. He is suave and your wife is smitten.

Peter Jackson serves you an outstanding 3 course meal, then when you are finished he brings out the 3 starters - but they've gone cold.

this is retarded. George Lucas sold his restaurant chain to a Private Equity firm who launched an app, jacked up the prices 100%, and the food is always somehow always cold now

Lynch would be a plate of triple cooked chips. It was a famous dish out of the innovative Fat Duck restaurant that went really mainstream and now is already done to death and nothing special

Wes would be red velvet cake with the gayest fucking sprinkles

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based and lynchpilled

Theres an unlimited number of them for the protags to mow down and the audience doesn't have to feel bad about them dying because one group is space nazis and the other are robots.

Explain how they are different. I'll wait.

Welsh rabbit with a poached egg, bacon scones, butter, cream, jam a pot of lapsang souchong tea. And some sausages.

>emotionless human beings who have no character are different from droids
See any action film. Most random baddie goons don't get a personality.

>the generic baddies aren't expressive so they're same
now you're getting it. See that wasn't so hard

That's already a big difference. One side's a bunch of space nazis and the other are robots. What, should they be space commies instead?

>he hasn't seen braindead

Just steals something from a 1970s style buffet and everyone praises it because it's black cuisine

>That's already a big difference.
No it's not you fucking idiot

One's a bunch of robots run by corporations. The other's a bunch of trained men run by an empire. They're the standard mooks. That's the only thing they have.

A plate covered in blood that you aren't allowed to eat, you just stare at.

I can feel the Lynchfags seething already.

Sorry, I should have clarified: explain how they are different beyond looking slightly different

>star wars is the same as every other action film and every other action film is same as each other

What would he serve?

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This isn't fair to Cameron's body of work. The dude could not miss in the 90's.
True Lies is a fucking perfect action movie.

His vomit.

He is too good for this shitty industry

What would his food be?

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Correct. This is amazing, it's like watching a manchild grow up before my very eyes.

Needs an argument
Not only do they physically look really different but robots vs people is already enough.

chopped up meat

No it's not you fucking idiot.

>tfw a bio prof I had in uni made this same reference when a student tried to bribe him with a can of beer

Two decapitated Vietnamese 5 year olds.

Isn't that what his dad would serve?

The Galactic Empire's Stormtroopers are an elite force, bred and trained to be good fighters. Obi-wan notes early in EP4 that various blasts were too precise to be Sandpeople and must be Stormtroopers. Stormtroopers have been shown to clear out Rebels even in the opening scene of EP4 where it's the Rebels' home ship and forced to go one-by-one through a narrow passage, thus being functionally outnumbered.

Battle droids are a dime-a-dozen enemies that work by swarming. They're individually shit but can zerg rush their opponents with far superior numbers and ease of replacement.

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not if said 'people' have absolutely zero characterization or distinction you halfwit

Needs an argument, not a baseless assertion.

Yes but he'd put the corpses in the fridge and Max would just reheat them in the microwave.

>Stormtrooper blasts
>too precise
You're just highlighting how this entire franchise is for babies. See, it's different because the movie told me it was!

He would serve a beef wellington with the pastry and beef stuffed with cheese, meanwhile as you eat he plays operatic music where the lyrics are in the viewpoint of the Wellington being eaten

No it doesn't you fucking idiot

They are shown to clear out Rebel encampments quickly and effectively in EP4 and 5. Try watching the films.

>They're individually shit but can zerg rush their opponents with far superior numbers and ease of replacement.
Sure sounds like stormtroopers to me user

Needs additional support and less logical fallacies. By saying "or distinctions", you automatically assert that they have no differences. You beg the question.
Needs an argument,

Explain why that is important or how it validates the humanity of the faceless expendable troops who are only there to be shot by the heroes. Maybe you should watch the films only with the eyes of a grownup this time.

how are cohens flicks boring at all? most of them are considered great comedies
sophia is a much better director than her hack father ever was

Then you never watched the films. In EP4's opening scene alone, they are proven far superior to Rebel gunmen as each Stormtrooper takes down many Rebels at only a few casualties.

>you automatically assert that they have no differences
that's because they don't

>getting this mad about Star Wars

and yet every other time we see them they are woefully innacurate and cannot hit the broad side of a barn, sometimes literally. You've never seen the films without rose colored glasses so you aren't one to talk.

It is important because you people are incapable of paying attention to films. First off, it is very childish to aim to be adult and grownup like you're doing. Secondly, it matters because the context behind what the enemies are is important for the setting. Finally, if nothing else, reducing films to this can make any film alike any other film. To miss the subtle details is beyond childish.

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quads of truth

>and yet every other time we see them they are woefully innacurate
youtube.com/watch?v=yHfLyMAHrQE

especially details that are so subtle that they don't matter at all or make a single difference in the story, like the faceless goons are actual robots this time instead of just being like robots in every single respect apart from being made of literal machinery, you fucking child.

Wrong. They beat up rebels good.

Needs an argument and please stop begging the question

pretty sure C.S. Lewis had never talked to a manbaby defending Star Wars to him when he made this statement

>especially details that are so subtle that they don't matter at all or make a single difference in the story
Not that guy but judging by how you're dismissing all the differences he brought up like a twat, what differences actually matter? Is the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek nonexistent because they're both sci-fi?

>cites as an example another part of the same scene he already mentioned
>no stormtroopers are present
reeeeeally reaching here, bud

>especially details that are so subtle that they don't matter at all or make a single difference in the story
They do. Many tasks performed by stormtroopers can't be done by droids

>I'm being made a fool of but no need to fear, my autism will save the day

Not that guy but looking at this debate, which side is the side replying
>NU IT FUCKING DONT
and which is the side giving explanations? Your side is the manbaby side.

>no stormtroopers are present

Not that guy but he's right. He needs no other scene.

like getting shot? or are you talking about all the behind the scenes stuff they do that doesn't effect the plot at all and that you wouldn't even know about unless you read some kind of obscure supplemental material for the movie that no one should ever care about

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>all you have to do to win an argument is give explanations, even if those explanations don't hold water at all
I'm beginning to suspect you are the same idiot as before.

not that guy but why not just provde an argument like he said?

Still no argument. It's okay user. I accept that you have a sub-70 IQ.

>cherry picking: the image

>like getting shot
Not that guy but they deliberately lead luke and guys away after getting a homing beacon on the falcon. That's an important thing in ep4.

>ad-hominem doesn't count as an argument
>now watch as I engage in ad-hominem
check and mate

Why do you think 0 explanations are better? You also dismiss instead of explaining why their explanations don't work.

Star Wars EP4. Vader's plan to find the Rebel Base.

Absolutely. Reddit/Facebook-tier humor

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>arguments that I do not accept don't count as arguments
You are so that guy. Or you just didn't read the thread because you came in late. Either way, fuck off.

>cherry picking
>selected from all 3 ot films

That's not how an ad-hominem works. He insulted you but didn't say correctness based on it.

I've provided numerous explanations as to why their excuses are just that, you are either deliberately ignoring them or you are blind.

>doesn't understand an ad-hominem
logicallyfallacious.com/tools/lp/Bo/LogicalFallacies/1/Ad-Hominem-Abusive

What? What arguments did you provide? You literally said
>It fucking is
as a reply.

Ad-hominem is a baseless insult in the midst of an actual argument in an attempt to either denigrate the person on the other side or save face. It absolutely qualifies you unbelievably retarded shitlord.

>I've provided numerous explanations as to why their excuses are just that,

No you didn't. You just blindly said they aren't.

>let's argue about the definitions of words now
Okay, I think this has run its course. Bye now.

>I've provided numerous explanations as to why their excuses are just that

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No. An ad-hominem logical fallacy is saying something's true based on an insult
>X is true because fuck you
is an ad-hominem because it tries using
>because fuck you
as justification for X

see

>doesn't understand what a logical fallacy is even though talked about arguments

>read these turds
Not an argument

None of those refute. They're only
>explain more because I can't say they're wrong because

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>sub-human manchild calls other people manchildren when he thinks those are "arguments"

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>every movie is the same because they're movies

Not that guy but droids have some personality. You know how so many say things like uh oh and stuff?

RLM called. They think your argument is awesome because it makes theirs look good by comparison.

>No.

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Perfect.

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