Luke, did I ever tell you about Dexter Jettster’s 1950s style diner?

it was actually this guy:
imdb.com/name/nm0377390/

Luke, did I ever tell you about absorbmat? An absorbmat was a small coaster that was made of liquid-absorbent materials. It was used primarily for beings to place their beverages.

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>Luke, did I ever tell you about Aayla Secura? She was a 21 year old Twilek Jedi Master with the tightest tummy this side of the galactic rim. Her skin was the colour of blue candy and the contrast between it and yours when she ground on your dick was incredible. We used to run trains on her in the Jedi temple, and she'd ride your dick so hard you were always amazed it didn't snap off inside that tight blue poosy. Did you know those tentacles on their heads are actually directly tied to a Twileks pleasure receptors? We knew, and when we were taking Aayla from behind we would yank on those tentacles like a man trying to haul in a sailing ship during a storm. I once saw her squirt twenty feet across a room. The most fucked up thing was Aayla always wanted to screw in the youngling meditation room, and she refused to let you clean it up afterward. The younglings used to call her mommy and she was so kind to them, then she'd laugh once they were out of earshot and point out chairs younglings were sitting in which she had recently soaked with her love juices. Just remembering that tight blue ass has given me a rock hard erection Luke. I miss choking that sex queen and feeling her tighten up so goddamn much.

>And she was a good friend.

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SW is a long long time ago, dumb grampa. 1950s cafe's are Dexter Jettster cafes.

Fapped to this

Holy shit based

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There is nothing to indicate that except him growing up in the bay area.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the Trade Federation? Well, it starts the tale of how you were born, who your father was, and how the galaxy came to be plunged into a civil war that would claim a billion lives and destroy a thousand worlds. Qui-Gon and I had been despatched to a tax dispute on Naboo. The Naboo wanted a fixed rate of 7.43% on non-expirable commodities going to unionized systems within the Glaxx-Aransia boundaries (pre - 3037 border dispute). However, the Trade Federation were pushing for a rigid 7.42% with deductible compounds for - Luke, are you even listening?

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Based

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Luke, did I ever tell you about milk? Milk was a nutritious liquid produced and secreted by the females of certain species. While milk was typically white, the one produced by bantha cows was blue, and the one produced by Thala-siren sea sows was green. Keep that in mind.

I really don't get why people have a problem with this, same with the "communication disruption" thing

look at me luke and tell me how old I am

I dunno man, Guiness fucking hated Star Wars

he was just mad it overshadowed his more "serious" roles

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Col. Saito and the time I built a bridge for the enemies as they were slaughtering East Asia? He was a good friend.

Luke, did I ever tell you about Luuke Skywalker? He was a genetic clone of you that was grown from cells extracted from the hand you lost during your duel with the Dark Lord Darth Vader on Cloud City. Your hand and lightsaber were recovered by Vader and taken to Emperor Sheev's Mount Tantiss storehouse on the planet Wayland. In 9 ABY, the insane clone Jedi Master Joruus C'baoth performed a mind trick on Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn's subordinate, Captain Gilad Pellaeon, ordering him to make a special clone for him. The clone that later became Luuke Skywalker was grown in secret from sample B-2332-54, the sorting code assigned to your hand. The clone was grown in a Spaarti cloning cylinder over the period of less than a month. When he was ready, the clone was given Jedi training by C'baoth and over time became Luuke Skywalker.

Also Luke, did I ever tell you about your other clone, Luuuke Skywalker? He was a clone of you created by Grand Admiral Thrawn to serve as his agent in the galactic community, which the Admiral controlled secretly using a legion of clones to replace prominent people. After warding off the Lost Tribe of Sith, Luuke Skywalker, retired after serving Thrawn. Luuke was replaced summarily with Luuuke, who inherited duties as the Grand Master of the New Jedi Order and a significant political persona. Luuuke would go on to assemble a Clone Army comprised of the copies whom Thrawn had made over the decades. Working with another clone, Streeen, Luuuke devised a time machine that he used to attack the galaxy during the Clone Wars.

And they were good friends.

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Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I gun in da ventilation shaft?

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Luke, did i ever tell you that when i said your father was killed by vader , i meant that figuratively, and that he became a bad guy, and was in a sense killed by his alternative personality

Also, that hologram you just said was beautiful - thats your sister

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and the interview he did where he talked about the incident from his perspective

>luke did i ever tell you your dad built a full functional robot to help his mom when he was just 10 years old? Although he worked as a slave most of the time. He also build a pod raver on his own and even won the famous bunta eve race with it, remember luke, he was still just 10. Not to forget, he ended a whole war be destroying the opponents leader ship all ALONE, with a fighter jet he stole. And even when everyone was against him because he was too old, he became the most powerful jedi of all and even the youngest jedi to be a part of the jedi council. He probably saved doents of planets and my life for countless times. He even got your mom, a 9/10 queen/senator gf. Even when i betrayed him and chopped his arms and legs off, he became the boss of the whole imperial fleet.

and you luke? what have you accomplished? you moon rats shooting piece of shit, you are a bad friend

This is retarded...

>Luke did I ever tell you about salt

>Luke, did I ever tell you about forks? Forks were eating utensils. During the Age of the Empire, the Imperial cadet Nazhros Oleg attempted to use his fork to force fellow cadet Pandak Symes to hand over his fruit bar. However, Zare Leonis sprung to Syme's and knocked Oleg's fork out of his hand.

based

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I was arrested for buggery in a public bathroom? Luckily I avoided space jail by using a jedi mind trick on the police officer. It was a good shag.

god that's hot

there is literally nothing wrong with this
it expands the universe

still better than the TLJ

based

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Zoz

>Luke, did I ever tell you about breasts? Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species and some reptomammals, and were normally a distinguishing feature of the female of the species. Males did have breasts, but they were far less developed than their female counterparts due to the sexual dimorphism.

how would they know what the 1950s is?

Ummmm... yuck.

Way to ruin my fantasy.

She's up there for fictional characters I want to fuck
Just imagine stroking her tendrils and her getting instantly wet

>this is actually in the extended universe
What a load of shit.

Doesn't Star Wars take place in the past? So wouldn't American diners be taking the aesthetic from dexter's diner?

Is it just the "Luuke" bullshit?

Luke.. I need you to go back to My Tatooine hut and get rid of my porn collection.. holograms, holocrons, some datadisc I bought on the Coruscant black market.. There are snuff films in there, Luke. If the Rebellion sees all the pictures I took of Twileks feet while they were sleeping.. It's all in the box in the basement labelled "Bothan Pictures".. Before you ask: yes, there are bothan pictures in there, they're just not of Death Star data.. You've gotta do this for me, Luke. You've got to destroy my porn stash.. And I mean DESTROY that shit, kid.. Seriously, the holocrons alone are enough to get a man put away on an Emperial penitentiary planet. Grruagrarhrr is the Wookie word for "pervert", son, and that's what I am.. That's what your Uncle Ben is.. All the fat globs of semen I've wasted masturbating to Rancor beastiality and vore over the years.. And I'm a strong ejaculator, Luke.. I'm as sterile as a surgery room, but I cum like a force-push every time.. I think part of the thrill was always seeing if I could get any of it in my mouth.. The first time I did it was a complete accident, but the taste, Luke.. The taste was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.. I started to crave it.. It was like a drug to me.. And that's coming from a guy who did a lot of death sticks on Corellia.. Usually off of the ass-cheeks of some Force controlled Tusken Raiders who me and Qui-Gon would kill for sport later.. I actually have some footage of that in my holocron collection.. Which, again, you REALLY need to get rid of.. I cannot overstate the importance of wiping that shit from the face of the Galaxy.. Okay, what else, what else? Oh, you can have the Bantha Tartare left from Aunt Beru’s birthday that I've been saving.. I mean, I took a bite out of it, but it's not like I have herpes or anything.. Wait.. Do genitals count? Never mind, I'm dead now.. In summation: May the Force be with you.. oh, yea. Vader is your father. You’re a good friend, Luke.

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>I find your lack of faith disturbing.

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they're stealing shit from Invader Zim, now?

>obi-wan
>not being a huge faggot
choose one

I like Shaak-Ti better

starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Cloaca
IMAGINE

>Luke, wait I didn't tell you about the peace treaty your mother was supposed to sign! Somehow in the old Republic, legal documents signed at gunpoint were still legitimate, so me and a Jamaican rabbit had to help her escape!

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Imagine being so bootyblasted that no one remembers any of your work aside from your role as Obi-Wan Kenobi that you purposefully make a child cry to try and reassure yourself that you're totally not a petty cunt

Insanely based

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>someone used his free time to write this

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Wait until you read the My Little Pony - Fallout 3 crossover fan fiction wiki. There are over a thousand entries, all extensively cross-referenced with each other, and an active community constantly adding and expanding to it.

4u

>you moon rats shooting piece of shit, you are a bad friend

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A daring meme combo

Poohs adventure wiki.

>77

It isn't. That kid later told his version of the story. He said AG was very nice to him, and there was no crying or his mom getting angry involved. The kid saw it over 100 times because it was cheaper for his mom to drop him off at the movie theater by her job than get a sitter.

Also, the kid had also seen AG's entire filmography, and told him so. He conveniently left that out of his memoirs.

Were banthas good friends?