You STOLE fizzy lifting drinks.
You STOLE fizzy lifting drinks
Henry Johnson
Ethan Brown
We had this thread yesterday
Aiden Parker
You KILLED six million Jews
Elijah Sullivan
Grandpa Joe is the one to blame. Asshole fakes being bedridden until the first hint of opportunity arises to leech off of his promisingly optimistic grandson.
Brayden Brown
mike tv did literally nothing wrong
Zachary Sanchez
>kid 1: eats sweets, gets kicked out
>kid 2: eats sweets, gets kicked out
>Charlie: eats sweets, wins confectionary empire
Also grandpa joe was a cunt
Ian Rivera
>WRONG SIR
>WRONG
>Under an idiot's understanding of the laws of thermodynamics, it is quite clearly known
>and you can read it for yourself in this book banned in nine European countries:
>"It is simply not possible for so many bodies to be cremated in such a short amount of time", et cetera et cetera
>"The culpability of the Allied powers should not be discounted", et cetera et cetera
>"...wooden doors on gas chambers!"
>It's ALL there, black and white, clear as crystal!
>YOU LIED about the number of dead Jews!
>You SCRATCHED UP the walls at Auschwitz which now have to be washed and sterilized
>so you get NOTHING!
>You LOSE!
>Good DAY sir!
Josiah King
>Be violet
>Be told that nearly everything is edible
>She is addicted to gum
>The ONE (1) piece of gum in the entire factory is presented to her
>She takes it and begins to chew it
>Is told not to in the most nonchalant way possible
>Skin pigment is irreparably altered to that of a Congolese jungle nigger
>Blows up to a giant ball filled with juice and must be pressed to avoid exploding
Truly an unjust ending. The fact she has to live with her lecherous roach of a father is punishment enough.
Justin Barnes
You stole
James Phillips
>kid falls into chocolate stream
>the boat didn't have enough seating for him anyways
Wonka is evil
Justin Reyes
it's my birthday
i'm home alone
can you please give me some (you)'s so i can pretend i have friends
god bless you
Thomas Butler
It is the kid´s fault for obeying him.
Alexander Lewis
NO SIR
Brody Lee
Bases
Chase Rodriguez
well yeah to save BILLIONS
John Cook
I keked
Logan Morris
>You now realize that all of this was carefully designed by Wonka in working close with Mr. Wilkerson who went out into the field to interview and report on the ticket winners to devise a plan to kill these children off in elaborately precise ways while retaining his chocolate empire and increasing sales by a factor of 1000.
>You now also realize that Charlie was supposed to be killed off by dragging along his spiteful grandfather by purposely leaving them alone for 2 minutes, which is long enough for Grandpa Joe to convince his innocent grandson to steal in the name of fun, which is further reinforced by him wanting to sell off the gobstopper when he lived through his planned execution.
Ryan Stewart
ffs
Nathaniel Long
Did wonka really killed all those kids?
Bentley Flores
their own hubris did
Isaac Ward
Mike Teevee was supposed to be the designed winner to usher in a new era of marketing precision for the Wonka confectionery empire.
>4 spoiled kids vs 1 poor nice guy
>founder & ceo of huge company wants to pass his company on as he has no board of directors or next of kin
>one is a glutton who loves food
>one is a daughter of a rich businessman who owns a food company of his own
>one is a daughter of a local politician and salesman
>one is a vociferous consumer of media and marketing
>one is a poor kid that lives in a shack and lives off of boiled cabbage water with his 4 bedridden grandparents, but has a nice personality
Who would you realistically give the keys to your business empire to?
Chase Stewart
I enjoyed this and laughed internally but not audibly
Colton Bailey
I TALKED to Barzini.
Eli Sullivan
wait, you're telling me 13% can somehow also be 50%?
Connor Robinson
Asher Bell
Happy birthday, bro. Please try to enjoy it.
Logan Powell
>He was bangin oompa loompas two at a time
Noah Gray
You slaughtered British soldiers in their sleep on Christmas!