There's only one thing left to do hansen

Out of all the choices he made in his life up to that point, dressing like an urban cowboy is probably the least of his concerns.

That big fella means business and he ain’t taking a no for that there cunny.

creates a subconscious atmosphere of unease
just like the curtains all over the doorways
or the 30 year old in a baseballcap pretending to be 13
it's all designed to make the mark feel unsettled, like something is out of place without knowing what exactly
this makes the eventual reveal easier

Worst advice ever conceived

What did they mean by this?

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>well, I activated my trap card so...take a seat

>walk into house
>curtains over every single doorway
>collections of random objects placed in areas that are not traditionally where they go
>begin to feel uneasy
>person appears through the sea of fabric and dresses what they think a cool kid half their age would wear
>instinctively leave the premises since you now realize it's probably an abandoned house being squat in by gypsies.

How do I attain that physique?

Peak cringe, can you imagine going there thinking you're going to get 13yo boy ass and meeting that faggot mutt old enough to shave? thank god it was all a setup

>my daddy made this table!

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Be the rootin-est, tootin-est cowboy in Fairfield, Connecticut.

He probably has some kind of anxiety and/or avoidant disorder where he just really doesn't like clothes shopping so he sticks with the same autistic outfits he's had the last 5 years that maybe his relatives bought him

So basically me

Welcome to the cult of the cowboy
drive.google.com/file/d/10-UeXFnveBUM24aqy-WgOzQlJ0Dv8jZW/view

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Why did he have a knife?

kubrick had that, too
his wife had to buy his clothes and he would make her get him like 5 identical pairs of shoes once he'd found something he liked

In case things got...steely

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>texas hold'em
>5 cards each

in case some of his cattle gets stuck in a fence or something and he has to cut it free
really, there are so many moments when cowboys need knives it would be weirder he didnt have one

So basically, being fat?

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>VINCE, ITS A STING, JENNA SET YOU UP! DON'T GO IN- GOD DAMMIT VINCENT

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So don't ask me 'Tex why do ya drank? An why do yo roll smoke?'
I'm justa' carryin' on the cunny tradition

What is this? They didn’t make any more Hansen VS Predator episodes after Sokol, did they?

*Teleports behind you*
You thought you could catch me Hansen? I'm operating on 200mg of Adderall

who was in the wrong here

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this one was unavailable for a while in an effort to make people subscribe or some shit

In case the Injuns try and sneak up on him

I'd let him run me over.

In case one of his steeds died and he had to butcher the carcass and tan the hide.

This seems like the start to a gay porno.

fuck these crime watch dudes

Casted, now let's get funding this

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>he was so desperate to get laid he let a guy fuck him in the ass

just like brokeback mountain. a true cowboy

>"Oh shit, I'm sorry..."
>"Uh, I'm C-Chris Hansen.."

the pedos face when he said that had me in stitches

Who is the most attractive predator in the show ?
Never bothered to watch it

sorry for hwhat

Poor kid - 13 years old and already has the beginnings of male pattern baldness.

in case he had to cut open his horse for shelter in the harsh winters.

for me it's vince
i know he doesn't look like much but he has a heart of gold

I would have smashed and slammed Richer Breault's boipucci

Draw your last pathetic card hansen.

>that one predator that confessed to raping a young boy because the cops gave him taco bell

>DONT WORRY VINCENT!!!!
>DADDY'S COMING
youtube.com/watch?v=4_to1wT4MdE

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lol what

>I'M FAT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING

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>always thought it was insane that they picked this guy
>rewatch the episode
>when chris walks in they pass each other
>the decoy is like 4' 3"
lmao

some rare hansens: youtube.com/channel/UCa6NuijZOSgABpEC3W_2gjA/videos

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Thought the lil missy was hankerin' for that particular brand of stallion.

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Kekd and checked

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I kept on running
Into the south lands
That's where they found me
My head in my hands

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But Hansens got a royal straight flush

I felt the power
Of death over life
I begged the forgiveness
I wish I was dead
I hung my head
I hung my head

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they also played gin rummy for 20 minutes

imagine if he came in with the full goatee

>that part where the decoy starts talking about the table to throw the mark off the scent
>it worked

>mfw this 25 year old man says "me, my mommy and my daddy"

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based

>Sokol
was that pizzachad who just starts chowing down while chris tells him everything he did wrong?

No that was Ethan Klein

straight up that's what the guy was trying to do
also
>catch him on tcap
>literally the next day they catch him again using the same screen name

>were you the one penetrating or being penetrated
>b-both
>oh...
>...
>so you're not a virgin

>Hand him over, Hansen.

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Why dont they have Chris Hansen pretend to be the decoys father and come through the front door, maybe on occasion have the decoy tell the pedo to hide and then have him try to sneak out the window

What's the bigger shame being a virgin or losing your virginity by being a faggot?

why not just put a wig and baseballcap on chris and have him play the decoy?

What is this from? I don't remember that in the Vincent video.

they never even arrested him
whats up with that?

the police interview afterward
it's worth a watch
youtube.com/watch?v=ZD47OJU6RH4

for some reason they weren't arresting the predators in the first season
tons of people wrote angry letters, though, which prompted them to start involving the police in season 2

HANSENNNNNN! THIS SUNDEEEYYY AT WRESTLEMANIA WE WILL SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL. I WILL BE WALKING AWAY WITH THE CUNNY AND YOU WILL REST. IN. PEACE.

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