HARRY, DID YOU FUCKING PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GODDAMN GOBLET OF FIRE? IT'S CALLED THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT FOR A REASON...

Reminder:

Harry never noticed on the Marauder's Map that Moody was actually Crouch Junior despite THE YEAR BEFORE it turned out that Ron's rat had been Pettigrew all the time (which Harry also didn't notice).

The wizard tournament is probably the shittiest spectator sport of all time with one challenge happening under water and the final one in a maze that nobody can see into.

The goblet of fire apparently is so mighty that it's absolutely impossible to formally pull out of the tournament for a candidate yet it could be tricked very easily into allowing a fourth candidate for a non-existent school. The goblet also is picky enough to notice if a candidate actually tries. Otherwise Harry could have and should have shown up to every challenge without moving a muscle due to fairness and safety reasons (would he get magically slapped for remaining idle for too long like campers at old school Counterstrike servers?).

t. roastie

why is it? it's not even hard. one day i decided to do it and i was able to.

A man shouldn’t have a dick in his mouth, especially if it’s his own. Start acting like a man

you're a flexible guy

i can be a man in whatever way i want, i don't care about your opinion.

>especially if it’s his own
What? Are you seriously implying it’s better to suck someone else’s dick than your own?

>meme debates before 2019: are traps gay?
>meme debates in 2019: is sucking your own dick gay, and if how gay is it compared to regular dicksuckinng?
>also:Will /selfsuck/ cure the incel-problem or trigger stacy

neither is a better but some or less worse. not yours, some dudes, your gf's.

Richard Harris might not have gotten to give this scene the gravitas of a kindly grandpa asking his twink lover whether their copy of the best anime of 2016 was up his post chipotle posterier after a bout of love making but at least he was saved from the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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Top kek

>harry's scar hurt
>harry winced

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>Dumbledore said calmly
LOL

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Little known fact: this is actually an impassioned mating call in gay wizarding slang

it's funny you mention that because...Dumbledore likes to smoke poll and was in an intense cock and ball torture relationship with Johnny Dep. So shut up, bigot.

>Harry never noticed on the Marauder's Map that Moody was actually Crouch Junior despite THE YEAR BEFORE it turned out that Ron's rat had been Pettigrew all the time (which Harry also didn't notice)

1) Yes, he did notice that "Barty Crouch" was walking around a lot, but he also saw "Alastor Moody" in his office a lot

2) By the time he had the Marauder's Map, Pettigrew had run away

3) Harry isn't checking the map 24/7 because he has fucking classes and friends and stuff

Other complaints are valid

Also worth noting that Lupin takes the map off Harry pretty soon after he gets it too

man I wish I could suck my own dick, so based

yeah well I bet you eat something every day

>dumbledore sneed calmly

Kekked

>still butthurt and desperate that literally every single shitty HP meme is better and more popular than his
>still no talent
>still nothing memorable about this wall of crap

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>that formatting
Fuck you.

Autofellatio apparently feels more like sucking a dick than having your dick sucked.

god I wish I could suck my own dick
I have dreams about every 4 weeks of sucking my dick

>Autofellatio
Sounds like a Harry Potter spell, lmao

that is the most popular HP meme though

>What if Harry Potter was Sorted into Slytherin after a crappy childhood. His brother Jim is believed to be the BWL. Think you know this story? Think again. Year Three (Harry Potter and the Death Eater Menace) starts on 9/1/16. NO romantic pairings prior to Fourth Year. Basically good Dumbledore and Weasleys. Limited bashing (mainly of James).

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Manliest post in this thread desu.

Honestly the series would've been much more interesting if it focused on Neville being the protagonist.

>Shitty adaptation top
>KINO adaptation bottom

Dumbledore was pretty chill and keikaku in the book (or at least audiobook).

They turned him into a senile panic proned old man in the movie for dramatic effect,

Go feed your cat

>magical cup for a 3 person tournament has no safeguards against a 4th school being entered
And people think Voldemort was wrong

Hahahaa yeah posting this shit in every thread until some of the more impressionable ones convince themselves that they like it. Zero talent, it has nothing that makes a pasta good, it's painfully boring and unfunny and I love telling the faggot to get good for once and stop being so shit. Seriously I saw one memes made out of single words that became a thing much later than this and already exist in many more edited versions.

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that's why it's a magical cup, anything can happen

It’s autofallacioO not autofallacioo

Harry, did I ever tell you about my secret brother Aurelius? He was traveling across the Atlantic Ocean as a baby when he was accidentally kidnapped by the unloved daughter of a French rapist wizard, who switched him with her father's real son, gave him to a French half-elf, and let her real brother die in the shipwreck. Speaking of which, the mother of the accidentally kidnapped son dove into the water to rescue her (supposed) son and drowned, so I guess that would mean she was also my mother, but for some reason I never mentioned this either. Also I don't know why the wizards didn't just apparate off of the sinking ship. Anyway, the aforementioned French half-elf gave my brother (thinking it was the rapist's son--she was the servant of the raped woman, which meant she also had to serve the rapist after the woman died in childbirth) to an orphanage that hates wizards, then both she and the daughter went back to Paris. She did this on orders from the father, who wanted to protect his (supposed) son from the older, adult non-rape son of the raped woman who gave birth to the real son's half-sister, who incidentally I trained in wizardry in the 1910s with the help Professor McGonagell, twenty years before Professor McGonagell was even born. The non-rape son wanted revenge for his mother being raped, so completely logically, he tried to kill the baby instead of the father, and even though the rapist father was a powerful wizard nobleman, he thought the best thing for his beloved son was to be sent to America and protected in absolutely no way whatsoever or even informed that he was a wizard, leading half of New York to be blown up right in front of all the muggles (called "nomajs" in America). Eventually the non-rapist son tracked down Aurelius (thinking it was the rape son) in Paris, where we all learned that he (that meaning Aurelius) had started a relationship with an Vietnamese woman who would later turn into Voldemort's pet snake.

He was a good friend.

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That really stretched my legs.

>HOWEVER

how do I know you yell at clouds daily, user?

>The goblet of fire apparently is so mighty that it's absolutely impossible to formally pull out of the tournament for a candidate yet it could be tricked very easily into allowing a fourth candidate for a non-existent school

They outsourced the writing of the runes to Pakistani wizards on visas.

so what was his tax policy?

lol cocksucker

Everybody in this movie was on crack, that's why it's so good

Based Dumbledore is sick of putting up with Frodo's shit.

>chinese fireball oooooooooooh