You're off the quest. Hand in your sword and your brooch

>I've learned not to get attached to my squires

>I’ve got the Inquisition breathing down my tunic.

is this knightkino?

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>We can't just ride up there and knock on the front gate, that place is a fortress!

do one about Roger I of Tosny hunting and eating Moors, pure kino

>I need answers by the end of the week or the Pope will have my head on a platter!

>The stable burned down, the mill is in pieces, and the priest hasn't spoken in days!
>But by god if you aren't the best damn knight on the squad.

>I need a fortnight
>you have until the next tick of the sundial

Uh in old english, doc?

blessed thread

>Sire, there are no records of his existence at the monastery and nobody in the village had ever heard of him
>It's like he's a phantom

dude seth rogen should DEFINITELY make a stoner comedy like this!!

>Tell me something. why would you hang a man before exiling him?

>Your little stunt in that jewish village almost cost us the founding of the entire expedition.

Kek

>In this kingdom, we go by the codex!

LANCELOT
MY OFFICE, NOW

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>man from the future appears out of nowhere
>takes out lighter
>"look, fire"
like we dont already have fire...

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Sure thing king cuck.

>two days away from being a landowner
>peasants in the hamlet next to me act up
>lord of the land requests an audience with me
>these peons always drag me down
>mfw

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Personally I would use one of these

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>apothecary pavel, i'm inquisition

>I bet you're the type to lay with pagans!

dude pipeweed lmao

>they work for the virus, the blacketta plague
>Bubos?
>GET EM IN THE GRAVE I'LL CALL IT IN

>Turn in your zweinhander
>and your other zweinhander

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>You laid siege the wrong castle....
>Burned down the Duke's manor...
>Let the Jester escape from the Dungeon...
>and you have yet to find me one piece of evidence to where the Wizard Cartel is holding the Kings Daughter!

>Tell me about Saladin, why does he wear the turban

Well well look at the castle slicker pullin up in his fancy German horse

>You're a big knight
>For thee

>Two dragons dead, the Abbey in ruins, seven nuns frightened out of their wits, three knights injured and the criminal killed before the Inquisition could see him. Am I missing anything?
>No Sir
>You're a loose bow, but the best damn knight I have

>"how long will it take you to deliver this message to Marathon?"
>"at least a day sir"
>"You've got 3 hours".

>Raynald of Châtillon, in my chambers. NOW
>Your actions in the east have the King breathing down my fucking neck
>You are a loose canon, but GOD DAMN YOU BRING RESULTS" *slams fist on table*
>You are a good soldier, but the Grand Master wants his way
>Hand over your sword and your brooch
>And your other sword
>You are off the front, report back to me in Jerusalem
>*servant enters room and hands Guy de Lusignan a note*
>"Saladin just crossed the Jordan river with 30,000 man"
> - "Give me 3 months and I have every Saracen from here to Damascus either in chains or dead"
>"You have 2 weeks, I am giving you a new parter. Name is Balian of Ibelin, he does the job by the book.

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>"perhaps they're wondering why you would whip a man, before nailing him to a crucifix?"

>how dost thou knoweth so much of this fortress
>t'was I who conceived of it

>on the squad
>not in this court
Pleb

This horse was bred in Andalusia...

This thread is bad and all posters should feel bad

>i siege alone

It aint me
It aint me
I aint no feudal lords son

Ye Olde Seede & Feedery

>How do I know I can trust you?
>You canteth.

Smells like incel in here

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>Thou wish to sit alone and consume mead all day?
>The siege that killed your squire was fortnights ago! Twas not your fault!

>Ummm this board is for serious discussion of societally approved qinos only....

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Sybil leaking breast milk onto Junes tongue!

>*BRRRAAAAAAAP*

>smells like eunuch in here
Fixed that for you

Tom Cullen isn’t that the retard from The Stand?

Well pardon us Mr. Gucci clogs

>No baptism, no indulgences, not even an oath of fealty
>this guy's a ghost

I don't think there's an 'n' in zwei-hander, haha

>we’re in charge here
>oh yeah, who the hell are you?
>we’re with the Holy Roman Empire, this isn’t your jurisdiction, Claude

I bought these clogs from a leper...

I want you to know that this made me laugh

>Forget it jake it’s Protestant town

>Holy
>Roman
>Empire

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>A broadsword can behead 6 men before it gets dull
>So you must be asking yourself, did he cleave 6 heathens or only 5?
>Well to tell you the truth with this great helm on I kinda lost track myself
>so, are you feeling lucky, pagan?

>and your flail, and morning star, and pocket zweihander

>*Himmler screaming into SS barrack*
>"Dirlewanger, in my office. NOW!
>Your actions in the east have the führer breathing down my fucking neck
>You are a loose canon, but GOD DAMN YOU BRING RESULTS" *slams fist on table*
>*bullet cases and knives collide*
>"You are a good soldier, but Hitler wants his way
>Hand over your bagde and luger
>And your other luger
>And your other bagde
>You are off the front, report back to me in berlin"
>*Wanger speaking*
>"Give me 3 months and I have every partisan from here to moscow either in chains or dead"
>*Himmler turns around to light a fag*
>*takes a short pull and blows smoke at the window*
>*SS man enters office and hands himmler a note*
>"The kcazinksrecz village just got raided by another bolshevik partisan group"
>*Himmer turns around and yells*
>"In GERMAN, god damnit"
>*SS man rolls eyes*
>"Yet another communist uprising in poland, sir"
>*Himmler flicks the cigarette and faces Wanger*
>"You have 2 weeks, I am giving you a new parter. Name is Berger, he does the job by the book.
>Now get out of my office and take your stupid hat with you"

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nigger, did you steal my pasta ?
nice

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>you’re a loose trebuchet, Sir William! Luckily your new partner does things by the Bible

wrong era

>I can't just scry into his chamber, the spirit realm requires propitiation firs--
>In ENGLISH, goddammit!!

High in the Halls of the posts that are gone
Janny would dance with his trolls
The self worth he has lost and hot pockets he has made
The posts that upset him the most

The healthy weight thats been gone for so very long
He couldn't remember his face
They spun him around on the damp blue board
Spun away all his money and days

And he always does it for free
Always does it for free
He always does it for free
Always does it for free

>that trips
THE THREAD IS BLESSED

>*claide and hans riding towards jerusalem*
>*Suddenly the leading transport rider gets hit by an arrow*
>*saracen screams explode around the rest of the convoy"
>"So, how do you want to go about this?"
>"We do it by the bible"
>"God damnit claude, we don't have time to wait for knight support, the pope wants this region cleansed by nightfall"
>"Give me the torch, a dagger and 15 minutes*

Well la dee dah Mr. Park Avenue Guantlets

it's been you all this time? impressive

>hans and claude approach a fire place, the coal still alight
>claude picks up a small back of meat
>takes his dagger and slits it open
>cuts a small piece of meat and rubs it on his theeth
>"its kosher"

>Okay, Johnsson, what's the deal with our knave?
We're not sure, milord. A few stout men have been watching his home for o'er a fortnight and he hasn't left once.
>What? He's craftier than I thought. Not even for the local maypole dance? Methinks a young man would want to talk with the pretty ladies there.
N-no, he doesn't seem to attend village feasts or foot-the-ball. As far as we can tell his only conversations are with his mother and the crippled peddler that sells meat-on-a-stick.
>He must be slipping messages under our nose. Get me the manuscripts on every maiden or whore he's ever rolled with.
We did milord...th-there isn't a single one we found
>Christ preserve us.
Apparently he just sits in a monk cell scribbling notes anonymously on illuminated manuscripts, morn till night
>Kid's a Holy Ghost

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I'm sorry I believe in good smithing

go finish your homework billy

stop

>sieging jerusalem
>et non est mecum starts playing

based

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>you're holy, but I'm holyer.

>"Who this be, my liege?"
>"Tis' be your squire!"
>"I serve in solitude!"
>"That is no longer!"

>you dont get to steer the carriage, I steer the carriage

Fuckin kek

You're a little bit retarded arent you
I could spoon feed you, but I wont

>so, Reynald, you try to lead them through Galilea...And if that fails, where then will you go?
>if the desert defeats you, will you risk a more dangerous road?
>*nasheed hymn starts playing in the distance*
>there is a fell voice on the air!
>IT'S SALADIN

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>there's 106 miles to jerusalem, we got a steed full of hay, half a leg of mutton, it's dark out and were both wearing templar tunics
>Deus vult!

>prisoner is shackled and brought into a dungeon
>two inquisitors sit down in front of him
>inquisitor #1: ”we can do this the easy way or the hard way”
>prisoner: “let me guess, easy way is I tell you everything and the hard way is you beat the shit out of me”
>inquisitors laugh
>inquisitor 2: “the hard way is we beat you til you confess. The easy way is we stick you in that thing until you confess”
>camera pans to an iron maiden

What are some good kino that are like this thread?

underappreciated

When you called me retarded it clicked. I thought he was supposed to say "Sword in your hand" because he's carrying the sword but now I understand that he's supposed to give his sword back (handing it in).

Holy shit I might be retarded.

I got hoes,
Caaaaalllllliiiiinnnnngggg,
A young nigga’s phone,
Where’s Ali (a Saracen) with the mothafuckin’ dooopppeeeee!!!

Men in tights

formerly go

WHO SAYS I RAID

Acknowledging it is the first step to embracing it brother

>Mohammed has regained much of his former strenght
>he cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency
>concealed withing his fortress in Mecca, the dark Prophet sees all
>you know of what I speak, Baldwin, a great cube clad in black cloth
>the Kaaba...
>he is gathering all evil to him; very soon he will have summoned an army great enough to launch an assault upon Jerusalem

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>the holy land calls for aid

Not

>You're a loose bombard

>A dread horror descends upon the court
>The moor dies first

>I CONFERRED WITH BARZINI. I could seal a contract with him and still possess my inn.
>Thine brother hath lain with tavern wenches doubly

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>tell me about baldwin, why does he wear the mask?

Underrated Brookskino

>I 'av a bad feeling about this

>character tries to explain what a Crusade is
>takes a map of the Holy Land and folds it in half and stabs a quill through it

>youre a disgrace to the crown and that tabard!

M-O-O-N, that spells Tom Cullen

>"What are you doing?"
>"Requesting the bard play a new ballad."
>"You're not at the reins, I am."
>"What does that matter?"
>"When you are driving the carriage you can have the bard play any ballads you please, until then do not request of him!"

why does he wear the mask?

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>Be ye not an inquisitor?
>Hah! Prithee tell, doth I have the countenance of a Spaniard?

I cannot breach it.

Hark! Repeating Arabic numerals!

>inform the oriental that one must never interfere with a moor's minstrel

because no one cared until he put it on

best post

GROND WILL BREACH IT

SEVERELY underrated post right here
Good Job user

absolutely blessed and humorous thread

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*plops cock on table

First one to ope their mouth, gets to stay aboard this vessel