So we've established that Harry is

So we've established that Harry is
>rich (bought out the entire trolley on the hogwarts express on his first day just to flex on Ron)
>famous (boy who lived)
>saved the school twice in the last three years
>the first and only fourth triwizard champion in history
>youngest quidditch seeker in a century
>literally just slayed a fucking dragon

And he can't get a date for the Yule Ball and has to resort to the twins at the last minute? Girls should have been lining up to ask HIM to the ball. Was this explained better in the books? Because its one of the most unbelievable aspects of the movies so far.

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Harry is a fucking weirdo with a very insular friendship with Ron and Hermione and barely interacts with the other people in his house and year let alone anyone else
I don't think Rowling really meant to write the story this way but it's how it ended up and it's feasible few girls would be interested in asking him completely out of the blue when they've never so much as had a conversation with him

>black girl called Lavender Brown
>Indian twins called Patel
>Asian character whose name is a step away from Ching Chong
Seriously, how did she get away with it?

>rich (bought out the entire trolley on the hogwarts express on his first day just to flex on Ron)
A lot of Hogwarts kids are rich
>famous (boy who lived)
So?
>saved the school twice in the last three years
Both of which were because of him
>the first and only fourth triwizard champion in history
People think he cheated
>youngest quidditch seeker in a century
Not everyone is into sports
>literally just slayed a fucking dragon
No, he outmaneuvered one.

Harry wanted Chang, waited too long, got stuck with what was left.

fucking female privilege they can’t keep getting away with it! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

We’ve also established that he’s dull

>t. seething ron

based

>gold loving "goblins"
lmao Rowling

>a gold loving race with hook noses

harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Anthony_Goldstein

Lavender wasn't intended to be black. The others, yeah

Yeh but he had to compete with studs like Chad-ric "Big" Dick-ory

Basically these. He is awkward and keeps to himself or his two close friends and that combined with his famous reputation makes him very unapproachable. It is intimidating, most girls are not bold enough in the face of those circumstances even if they are into him because he hasn't made himself open to such approaches that they would feel secure enough in their chances.

a-at least the books were good though

Because it was written by a retarded woman. She had to have her cake and eat it too, the protagonist had to be both the most amazing, popular boy and also the sad, sympathetic underdog.

Women can't write for shit

one guess who had no problem getting chad cock

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>only irish character is obsessed with blowing stuff up and turning water into rum
how is this woman not in jail for this shit?

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>werewolf called Remus Lupin
>untrustworthy guy called Malfoy
She's a hack.

black could be anywhere

Harry is not a nice person at all.

>constantly thinks he's above the rules
>rude to everyone including teachers and his friends parents
>sulks for the last 6 books continuously
>spoiled and given special treatment constantly - never appreciates it
>reckless and impulsive - never listens to anyone and always does what HE wants or what HE think is best, regardless of the danger is causes to others - doesn't even do what Dumbledore tells him
>grows up in a cupboard dreaming of better things - gets them but spends his entire time floating through classes and copying Hermione

Snape is the actual protagonist of Harry Potter

It just keeps getting worse

Remus lupin backwards I nipul sumer

Nipple summer

Was she stoned?

>oi 'arry the red hand of ulster shall help ye fight the dark one
seriously?

>>Indian twins called Patel
Honestly nothing wrong with this though, there's probably 100 million people with that name at minimum

>Sirius Black
>turns out to be the black dog

rowling didn't get dude horniness. he'd be trying to touch every pussy at that school, that's all he would do

Lavender Brown was black?

he was a loyalist?
now that is based

Stop watching ITV and go outside

Its almost as if JK Rowling is a hack..

why do you think his ma didnt trust harry
because harry was a rebel

He is also a homosexual

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She was initially, but when Rowling decided to give her a bigger role later in the series they recasted her as a white bitch
fucking RACISM

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Harry is Frodo, Ron and Hermione are Sam. The twist is that Snape was Gandalf all along instead of Dumbledore when everyone kept thinking he was Sauron.

Snape is an immature entitled retard exactly like Harry. Neville is who the books should've been about.

>>literally just slayed a fucking dragon
Have you ever seen the film or read the book?

A lot of girls actually like him and are interested in him in the books, but he’s reclusive and hardly talks to anyone outside of a few professors and Ron and Hermione. He has a weird personality and strongly keeps to himself, and as he gets older he gets more angsty, angry, and lashes out easily. He was attracted to Cho Chang, but Rowling has absolutely no fucking idea at all how to write romance so that ended on a super lazy and poor note and he lost all interest in her.
He randomly starts to have feelings for Ginny because she resembles his dead mother.

damn harry is literally oneofus

>tfw no Inbetweeners spinoff set in Hogwarts

Harry was at least good at defense against the dark arts. Did Ron ever show aptitude at anything other than chess?

Lavender Brown wasn't black in the books

God, why are the last books so awful in every way? The first few at least had some semblance of fun and adventure. The same people who shit on Twilight for its poor writing and angsty characters will defend the later HP books even though it's basically the same thing.

He was basically a muggle. It's like getting a classmate who doesn't know how phones or internet work. Probably a pain in the butt for most.

I guess?
He was written as a traumatised kid who just learned he’s a wizard with powers and that his parents were killed by some old evil entity. He has a lot on his mind and a lot to adjust to, so he’s mainly disinterested in relationships and sex until the later books. But also, Harry Potter is a children’s series, so even if Harry was having sexual thoughts (which he probably was, in passing) Rowling wouldn’t explicitly write about it. It’s written that he finds some women physically attractive though.

he's also possessed by
>muh wizard hitler
throughout the story. I doubt that helps his personality.

what were the ministry's tax policy

No Slytherin girl would ever go with Harry, and Hufflepuff resents him that year for stealing the spotlight away from Cedric, so that rules out half the school right there. At the same time, Harry and Ron mention the fact that they refuse to go with Eloise Midgen, a Gryffindor girl with bad acne who sounds like a legitimate witchbot. So basically, Harry, jock/chad that he is, can feasibly rule out all girls below 6/10. His options are more limited than you might think for reasons both inside and outside his control.

But also somehow became one of the best at several magical subjects despite never having cast a spell or seen a flying broomstick until age 11.

Why would you expect the books to do a better job of explaining than the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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>Imagine the smell

I would've got the hottest escort in the wizards world, just to fuck with Snape and Ron.I would also bang her in the common room, while all the cucks would watch me plowing, while making weird incantations to boost my performance
ACCIO VIAGRA!
PENIS RIGORIS MORTIS!
JIZZ EXPLOSIVUS!
RON KEKUS!
FETUS DELETUS!
Then prolly wipe my dick clean with Ron's jacket and go to bed.

lol no Ron was just a shit cunt really, that's why he had such a chip on his shoulder. Although he did make a pretty good goalkeeper.

I see a lot of books I don't recognize in this image, I feel so old.

No, Ron was struggling and having panic attacks trying to ask out the hot girl from the hot girls school, so harry who could see the twins fancied him asked them both out for him and his best buddy who he was trying to make up with after they had been fighting for months.

It seems like in the HP universe magical aptitude is intrinsic, but not heritable.

Based "No!"poster

Harry's role is also to be a stand in for the reader; his ignorance means the author can explain the rules of the universe.

>sneaky, angry, no-nonsense professor from House Snake
>Severus Snape

>herbology professor
>professor sprout

Harry is only inherently good at magic because Voldemort made it that way.

>Harry looked at Ron's O.W.L. results.
>There were no "O"s there...

>scenes that incels will never understand

>The Patil twins were said to be pretty in the books
What happened?

There were a bunch of French and Eastern European sluts at school that year though.
Even though most were probably 3+ years older that's atleast something he could consider

Reality happened, and they soon realized that there is no such thing as a pretty Indian.

How come the parents of magical kids have no idea what the muggle world is like, even what clothes to wear to blend in but the magical kids do?

The Patel’s were cute

There are 5 girls in Gyffindor in Harry's year, so averaging 20 girls in the entire year, times that by seven (the number of school years) are we too assume there are only 140 girls at Hogwarts and only 280 students all together?

The story would be 10x better in every way without Voldemort. Prove me wrong.

The movies make it seem like Beauxbatons is an all girls school and Durmstrang is an all boys school, but this poster is right, the books do say otherwise. Imagine getting your hands on some sweet female Durmstrang dark magic pussy. I'd jazz prematurely.

Based
I missed this psta

>lavender brown
>is black
Bravo JK.

how many of the teen girl wizards shoved wands up their twats

That's the point. It's a stereotypical name

iirc Rowling said the entire UK wizard population is only in the thousands. Which is stupid as fuck

It would have been 10x better if it was revealed that Neville actually was the chosen one.

Grindelwald is the only interesting or cool thing about the HP universe.

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patel is in fact an unbelievably wealthy clan in america. it may be stereotypical name, but theyre essentially a poo-covered version of the kennedys

All of them

I remember a report where someone did a count of ethnicity in the HP movies, in the end, they reflected the makeup of the UK as a whole. So the movies were as diverse as they possibly could be and stay true to the country and time.

Probably not many because if they used the butt end, they would have to hold the business end in their hands and the motion from fucking themselves would make magic spells go off in their hand. And if they shoved the magic end of the want up there, well let's just say they'd get a yeast infection to remember. Or otherwise blow off their hoo hah.

Oh absolutely.
>kid who actually had to struggle with real shit, whom everyone (even the characters we're meant to root for) always put down and disregarded

But user, he tongues Dumbledore's pooper.

>euuugh! Troll boogeys!

In the book he becomes unpopular since people think he broke the rules and snuck his name into the goblet of fire.

Ye doing the maths a bit more, wizards live to be about 130 years so 280 x 130 is about 36400 wizards alive in England

Tonguing DumbleDEHr's pooper is more interesting than the rest of the dullest franchise anyway

Written from the perspective of a woman.
'nuff said.

“No!”

Wait, am I forgetting people? Who is there in Gryffindor other than Hermione, Parvati, and Lavender?

Apart from minor things like the OP's point, the story would make more sense if Harry was a girl.
Seriously. Think about it.

>Or otherwise blow off their hoo hah.
shame about public knowledge laws regarding children. hogwarts needs to release the medical records of how many chicks had this happen. imagine being the school nurse and you see it and it's like "fuck, not again"

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He was actually pretty awful/mediocre. He was only ever good at flying and making a patronus

>wants to stop WWII by conquering the muggles for the Greater Good
and we are supposed to believe he's the bad guy.

It's stated to be anywhere from 3000 to 4 Million.

But boy, was he fucking good at flying. Also really good at defense against the dark arts in general.

No no you have to divide that by 7 because 280 is the entire school's student body at any given time, seven years' worth of students. Also, that assumes that it's the exact same number of wizards born every year, and that they all go to Hogwarts.

Probably why Harry should've been an unattractive mouth-breathing incel with bad teeth but Hollywood would not allow it because the world is shallow and garbage.

Fay Dunbar and Fay Dunbar's friend
Never mentioned in the books once lel. they were added to the films and games because Rowling fucked up

The dumbest thing was how Harry became an Auror for a career. You'd think the boy wizard who spent his teenage years forced to fight dark wizards and shit in life or death situations would rather not do that for the rest of his life as a job.

And Dumbledore is blatantly indoctrinating a retarded/autistic manchild into his fantasy universe where it's ok to allow WW2 to happen as long as he doesn't have to admit that he was wrong in his quarrel with his buttbuddy. Either Rowling is going completely senile or she's secretly a genius who's been playing 4D chess for as long as the HP universe has existed.

That's a woman's version of a hero...it all makes sense now...

Reminder that in Cursed Child he's a deeply depressed paper pusher. Fuck you Harry, this is what you get you little shit.

>Stereotypical names are bad
What did america mean by this? Before you say it's like calling a white character Smith, there's nothing wrong with that either.

Shit good point, give me a minute

It's the only thing he was half-decent at and didn't have the grades to land any other job. He probably wouldn't have landed an auror job if they weren't literally all dead with the ministry desperate to repopulate their ranks. It was that or being a pro quidditch player, which isn't a humble enough career to believe he'd be banging Ginny down the road.

I always thought he would become Defence Against Dark Arts Teacher. It was his best subject, he is apparently a really good teacher, he is a lot like Voldemort who also wanted to be a dada teacher and it would allow him to remain at Hogwarts the one place he was happy

>"We don't talk much, don't really talk at all actually. Viktor and my relationship is more... physical."
I always found it weird Hermione is just complaining she's being used for constant sex as a 14 year old by a 3 year old Slav. And this is seen as completely normal.

Wasn't it though? Isn't hermonie Rowling's self-insert Mary Sue?

Are muggle born wizards allowed to heal their parent's/ close relative's / childhood friend's terminal illnesses, or is that a violation of wizard law?

It was probably the original intent, then Rowling realised having your main hero remain at School to literally relive his glory years for the rest of his life looks kinda pathetic.

Remember when he spent multiple chapters angsting about the fact that he has to do potions to land his auror job but Snape teaches potions? Boo fucking whoo there's a teacher I don't like so I should just ruin my future. What a bad lesson to teach children of that age.

>Harry is human born and spends the first half of his life thinking magic isn't real
>DOESN'T become fucking infatuated with magic the second he learns EES AH WIZERD, blowing off all his classes taking its existence for granted


Harry sure seems to not give a single fuck about magic being real.

He would have had bitches lining up for him if he became a Hufflechad but he had to become a Gryffincuck instead

A lot of girls asked Harry out for the ball in the book but he was too busy having incurable yellow fever to pay attention to them so when he got shot down by Ching Chong he just asked out the first girl he saw which was the Pajeet and she said yes right away

>I don't think Rowling really meant to write the story this way
I'm quite sure she did, his obliviousness in female interaction seemed intentional

Hermione actually kind of had flaws and a character arc at the start, unlike Harry.

The only laws against muggles seems to be to reveal your a wizard to too many or kill them.
Giving them rape potion is totally ok though

Looks like curry's back on the menu boys

I think Ron is actually her self-insert. He gets a girl way out of his league who would absolutely despise him in reality, and pulls a job out of his league through pure nepotism.

Plus she wasn't played by Emma Watson in the book and actually was plain and boring.

Hermione had flaws in the books, in the movies she is given several of Ron's glory moments and lines and got none of her other faults

No, Ginny was.

yeah. it's a shame alpha females like romilda vane are a diamond dozen

Fuck off, Snape

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"Broom wankers!"

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>(bought out the entire trolley on the hogwarts express on his first day just to flex on Ron)
christ, no wonder the rich are stingy about providing hand-outs. how the fuck are they supposed to deal with your kind of crippling inferiority complex?

I blame Ron. He's a lazy ass bad influence, Harry clearly was hyped about everything in the wizarding world but took up slacking off because his best mate did and he wanted to keep his only friend.

Which was the film where he suddenly started loving ginny? She was always awkward around him but there was like a sudden thing where he abruptly fell for her

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How the fuck was potions hard anyway? Every time they were in that class, all they did was make a potion whose instructions were listed step-by-step on the board or in the textbook. How hard is it to follow detailed instructions? Harry Ron and Neville are retarded I guess.

No, Rowling forgot to give him any kind of unique talents in the ragtag trio of heroes so all he does is be Harry and Hermione's connection to the magical world

sixth

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They were all way older and instantly asked out by the all the Chads in school

This is kind of a fair point, but it's like when you study something you like in college and it kind of starts to become a chore. From the sounds of it, the classes were hard, so Harry was probably spending a lot of his free time learning about magic just from his classes alone.

>Although he did make a pretty good goalkeeper.
He was completely garbage in two out of the four matches he played in his entire school career and in one of his good ones he needed a placebo in order to perform well

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I mean as someone who was forced to take cooking/restaurant management at school, you'd be surprised how much people can fuck up.

I wonder if they were allowed to bring their sick family members to St. Mungo's, even though it wasn't magical maladies or injuries that they had, just normal ones like cancer. Seems kind of mean spirited if that service wasn't provided.

Potions apparently involve knowing the effects of certain ingredients and knowing how to use them to substitute other ingredients properly if required.
I imagine there is alot of theory stuff we never go in-depth into because even Rowling knew she wasn't good enough a write about it.

>girls
>taking the initiative
Pick one

That's fucking creepy holy christ

He was above average despite his both his parents being two of the greatest magic geniuses Hogwarts ever had

>animal loving autist
>newt scamander
>newt salamander
She is a hack, but writing books for kids so what do you expect.

I must admit though. I actually like the harry potter lore. If I was a child when it was popular I would have been into it big time.

And shes a chick who’s had the common room run train on her a few times

That'd just be subverting expectations for no real reason other than subverting expectations

But wouldn't it be cool if Neville was the main character all along and Harry was the dickhead who thinks his shit doesn't stink?

the sixth one, his spontaneous sudden attraction to her was in the book that had special emphasis on love potions in the plot.
really makes you think.

A lot of those books are just boring shit you're required to read in highschool.

Just so you know this recent surge of harry tumblr spam over the last week is warner brothers marketing team trying to get people hyped up for the pokemon go type game they're putting out
more details about ginger(who is one of their shill mods) and their agreement are on 8/tv/

Has anyone seen the Very Potter Musical trilogy?

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It would be cool if there was a Harry Potter TV show, maybe animated, that more or less followed the books chapter by chapter. Each book could be a season, and each chapter an episode. Some less eventful chapters could go alongside others in certain episodes, but the Yule Ball for instance would be one standalone episode. I would watch that.

>Harry becomes the DADA teacher
>Ron becomes a head auror, finally stepping out of Harry's shadow like he has always wanted
>Hermione does spew shit
It would have been the best ending for Harry but apparently all Hogwarts teachers are required to be virgins with no spouses or children and Rowling really wanted an ending wth badly named kids

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He didn't even get the hot sister at that.

Yes and it was garbage, as were the sequels. The rest of that group's productions are really good and funny though, especially Starship and Oregon Trail.

>>famous (boy who lived)
>So?
he literally killed literally hitler

Hermione was smart and very good at magic but it's explained by the fact that she spends every living second studying, she also has a very annoying personality that her own friends can't stand most of the time and she regularly fucks up under pressure.

The only real Mary Sue thing she really had was somehow landing a date with Wizard Messi

He wasn't a chad.
It is that simple.

>>the first and only fourth triwizard champion in history
That's literally the reason why, lots of people (especially Hufflepuffs) were pissed at him since they thought he entered himself in the Goblet of Fire unfairly (since he wasn't 17 yet) to steal all the glory from Cedric. Also wasn't this the one where Rita Skeeter was spreading a bunch of bullshit rumors about him? Most of my knowledge is from the book, i think GoF was the only movie I haven't watched fully so I don't know how much stuff they cut out.
>t. Snape

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>

to be fair he was horrendously abused his entire early life

Well, he basically wanted to go with Choe Chang (or whatever her name was again), but Cedric was faster, I guess

He doesn't blow off his classes, he just has to deal with far more important shit most of the time

>spends most of year 1 having to deal with a world he doesn't know shit about and coming with the baggage of being an abused kid that never had a functional relationship with anyone
>spends all of year 2 worried about the mysterious monster petrifying students and everyone blaming him for some retarded reason, not to mention Dobby nearly getting him killed or expelled many times
>spends all of year 3 worried about the crazy mass murderer trying to kill him and about the soul sucking demons guarding the castle
>spends all of year 4 worried about being forced to compete in a tournament that has killed people and about half the school hating him for thinking that he is some fame seeking autist
>spends all of year 5 dealing with the government running a smear campaign against him

Year 6 was the most normal year he had and it included having to deal with either killing Voldemort or getting killed by him, his best friend nearly getting poisoned and his not-grandpa getting killed by one of his teachers.

This is further proof that height > everything

How fucking old are you?

Because Snape held ridiculously high standards for everything any non-Slytherin did because he is biased butthurt cuck.

He is Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

According to the Harry Potter wiki, it is the equivalent of the Home Office, all other departments answer to them. Harry is essentially the Chief Civil Servant.

boomer detected. everyone was kids when the books were popular..

He's still canonically a paper pusher with nothing good going for him. He also probably has erectile dysfunction.

LOL

>Dumbledore wants WWII to happen
>therefore he wants the Holocaust to happen

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>tfw harry is balding and skinnyfat
>ron got /fa/ and /fit/ and through hermione's connections to the muggle world
best ending

>The only real Mary Sue thing she really had was somehow landing a date with Wizard Messi
Which really contradicts the whole supposed Hermione is a plain Jane nerd thing going on in the books. Makes perfect sense in the movie timeline however. Even more so when you consider Emma's meta popularity.

I kind of suspect Rowling changed her mind midway through on the character not being notably attractive.

Seriously, did Rowling actually think about what she was writing for 2 fucking seconds? I absolutely love it because it's so insane and hilarious, but damn.

He was Head Auror as well.

Plus civil servants actually run the government, so he had loads of power, respect and he was probably paid a lot of money. Why is he fucking whining?

Ron ended up working in a prank shop.

>the Indian witches' 'dress robes' are just Indian clothes
Kek

>literally selling date rape drugs
Ron has it way better than Harry.

no women are into sports they just wanna be fucked by a superior male

No!

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If a portion of the students are born from muggles, either mudblood or half-blood, then why is there a class on muggle studies or a job about investigating muggle tech?

Books 3, 4 and 5 are actually great for teenagers. You can ignore all the "plot stuff" and just focus on the funny banter between the kids.
But yeah, 6 goes downhill by becoming a lot more serious. And 7 follows by introducing so much retarded logic

thats the point liberals are retarded

He drugs this bitch every night so he can go out and fuck hot young witches while she doesn't suspect a thing.

Imagine being born in the HP universe with an adjective-sounding name
>Oh shit, my surname's Baker and my parents named me Toffy for some weird reason. Guess I'm going to make sweet bread or some shit

Did not some girl try to rape ron?

>today I will remind them

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None of the books are good, tumblr roastie

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Could be worse, look at Remus Lupin or Fenrir Greyback, they were destined to be werewolves due to poor naming by their parents.

yeah and he almost died

How did Harry have a weird personality?

Daily reminder that this nibba banged Amber Heard

This, I wouldn't even give them to my kids because there's so much actually good kidlit.

She tried to rape Harry, but Ron being the poorfag he is saw free chocolate and ate it so he was dosed instead.

But there is Chad blood in his veins

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Come out ye deatheaters come out and foight me loiek a man

show yer lord how ye won medals down in Privet Drive

Show em how the DA

Made ye run like hell away

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>implying hugglecuck wouldn't betray their own

All books are escapism, dummy

Harry had oneitis and was too beta to ask her out

Children's books are supposed to prepare children for tough things that happen in the world in a way they can understand, dummy.

There's bullying in the real world
And dealing with friends
Relationships
Dead parents
Spending a lot of time alone with the male head teacher
Tons of stuff happen in the books that show children what to do in real life.

>Spending a lot of time alone with the male head teacher
Wait a second, user...

so criticizing a book for children for being written like it was intended for children is a bad faith criticism

>hitting children

That only counts as child abuse in developed countries, not in places like Ghana and England m8.

Is there any list of good kidlit?
I want to start building a nice shelve for the future.

>comparing Hitler to Noseless

Come on, I don't even like Hitler but he deserves more credit than that.

Ask Yea Forums, they should have one.

Good for teenagers =/= Good
Fucking idiot

name 1.

technomom.com/just-for-me/reading-matters/harold-bloom-on-the-western-canon-jr/

Oh boo fucking hoo, so did everyone. Wizard society is abusive as fuck.

She tried doing it to Harry, but Ron ate the food and nearly died

>he has to do potions to land his auror job
Was that in the new book or something?

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except he would do HolocaustX5000. What would you have rather happened, hitler or you being lower than a house elf. prob getting assfucked by creature

>Spending a lot of time alone with the male head teacher

ayyy lmao

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No it was in the 5th or 6th, whichever one they wrote their first set of exams in. I very distinctly remember it because of how fucking whiny and petty it was.

>Rowling won't suffer an early death resulting in someone funnier getting the rights to the franchise and making a slew of comfy spin-off shows about wizard bants
Feels bad

Checked

What's gonna happen after Fantastic Beasts 3?
After the somewhat lackluster box office of FB2, there's no way it's going to do better

That is a solid list, and I wish I would have encountered some of these growing up instead of the stuff the school district pushed on me. I ended up hating reading and now as an adult I wish I would have someone guiding me.

Thanks for the link.

I always liked Umbridge simply because she was exactly what those faggy kids deserved.

well she learned head did not she?
Rowlling is still rolling because nothing has topped potter yet. What we need is not some version of HP but something new to come along and dethrone it

movie about the founders of Hogwarts should res it. after that enough time would have passed for them to redo HP with the children characters, maybe have malfoy's kid and harrys kid hook up.

If I’m not mistaken, most of the school hated Harry because of the triwizard cup incident that he was framed for. Right after the first challenge I think the students start to look at him more favorably? That’s about the time they start asking each other out for the dance. Unless he just denied every bitch that asked him because he wanted Ching Chong. I really don’t want to watch that shitty movie again to find out. Goblet of Fire was when the series went of the deep end and became complete shit.

Yeah, and look how that ended. Only ended up as arguably the most popular literary franchise ever and made her a multimillionaire.

Agreed.

In what sense?

Billionaire.

Insufferable know it all kids finally get in trouble after doing whatever they want and breaking every rule at school despite the fact the vast majority of them were only put in place for their own safety

This movie made bulgarians seem more chad than they really are. They're literally one step above slav niggers and gypsies so it's not much to brag about.

Lost

No matter how retarded or braindead something can appear, there will always be at least 1 person that will eat it up

Being a wizard is not much to brag about anyway.

you say it like goodreads is not full of books like that made by both men and women

What was that darth sidious!?

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>unless ye want the dark one inside ye...

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I wouldn't be surprised if upon medial diagnose those kids would still be better off than literal whos that use twitter to start fake controversy for attention

Because Harry and Ron were gay fags for not plowing hot Indian twins, like goddamn man.

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God i miss my indian gf so much, Every time i see an indian in media (for some reason especially drawn) i get sad

What was she like?

But like, there's zero chance WB will fund a movie adaptation of the Cursed Child considering
R-right?

The chief civil servant is the perm sec of the cabinet office though.

The Home Office isn't even considered part of the centre. HMT is in reality the most important department by far.

Also this is more of a question as I don't know much about Harry potter but I presume HP has politicians then even if Harry was the equivalent of perm sec of HO, he's still have a Minister to answer to?

Fuck. Now I'm mad

>neo-nazi weeb having the right to call anyone else mentally defective

>a 3 year old slav

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It's like a Chem class but instead of doing basic shit like tritations your first year the professor wants you to boil salamanders until your slime is the right shade of pink.

So err, what was the whole deal with Hermione's house-elf thing?
It was like one long joke about how slavery was funny?

i'll never forgive this bitch for singlehandedly popularizing bulgarians so they have it easy with every teenager girl getting wet in the world
i traveled to sofia and varna 3 years ago and these shitholes were filled with beer belly half gypsy faggots or full blown gypsies, disgusting and slimy "men"

>ER siding with book burning christfags
They were worried about devil worship not about manchildren. ER himself is a manchildren, just a different type

sauce

she was a proto-SJW, speaking on their behalf for them despite the house elves loving their jobs.

As far as most of the school knew Harry was gay for Ron.

imagine being this mad and pretentious about people liking a dumb fantasy book from their childhood

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She wasn't a sjw back then. It's just a collection of assumptions about different people that were present in the collective human consciousness at that time. Globalization was still in it's early infancy as well.

OI M8 YEW GOT A LOICENSE FO DAT BOOK

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>tfw you will never prom fuck two Indian twins

I agree with all of this right up until the end. Ron very easily could have said that in the books. He says stuff about Hermione and other people that's arguably just as bad. And that's awesome, it makes him funny.

You and everyone who said "no" only ever saw the movies. Ron achieves more in the books but the movies give his good moments to Hermione and just make him more dopey.

Why didn't Ron sue Hogwarts for a teacher hitting a student?

This is how you can tell it was written by a woman. The main character is essentially handed everything in life, be it money, fame, or influence, beloved by everyone but the most evil or incompetent, and yet is still written to be a downtrodden underdog.

>Second Triwizard Tournament Task
>Cedric and Krum save their gfs
>Fleur saves her sister
>Harry has to save his "best friend"
A lot of people probably thought that he was gay for Ron

He had a really bad rep at the time for being a cheater and fame hog. People celebrated when he won but were also silently judging him.

Again, this is prime teaching method in Bongland.

as if the Weasleys could afford a lawyer.

The Weasleys don't have enough money for a good lawyer
And Dumbledore would probably back Snape up
>"haha I completely trust Severus he would never :) he has good intentions"

Adult man slaps like a girl. Tragic.

What is happening here? Annual lice check?

>James Sirius Potter
>Albus Severus Potter
>Lily Luna Potter
Harry was pretty fucked up in the head, naming your kids after dead people is messed, even more is Luna isn't even dead yet they gave their daughter her middle name.

discipline was still legal in the early 90s i think

thats why you see in older marine movies drill instructors smacking the recruits around to toughen them up, while modern drill instructors just screech at them like a woman on her period because they aren't allowed to inconvenience the snowflakes

QUIDDITCH FRIENDS

Fuck around with the founders of Hogwarts. Or the kids in school and make up some bullshit adventure for them to do, like chamber of secrets 2: electric boogaloo. Honestly of all things I'm surprised that Harry Potter game that leaked last year hasn't had any new info, the universe lends itself well to a video game and you don't have to deal with Rowling's rapidly approaching senility

"Who would you rather fuck, Harry's mom or Ron's sister?"

Harry's mom is dead
Harry's mom.

It's a boarding school, it's your word against the teacher and the teacher controls your grades.

>bank run by small, vile goblins

Our girl is based and redpilled

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It's the name of the person who he really should have ended up with

Professor Minerva McGonagall

Ron's mom

>She wasn't a sjw back then
Yeah, it's a book series where there are only like two females in the top 15 most prominent characters (one of which is Harry's love interest who only becomes relevant by being a love interest) and absolutely no minorities in relevant roles.

If anything it sometimes felt that Rowling kinda hates traditionally girly women which is why Hermione has no female friends except for Ginny and they don't even get that many interactions.

We know everything about Harry's dad's Chad friends but Harry's mom only gets developed relationships with those male friends and with a male beta orbiter. For Rowling's second magical world series she chooses to go back to a male protagonist with captain autismo and for the Cursed Child she chooses to make Albus and Draco's son the main focus while Ron and Hermione's daughter is relegated to side character.

I'm not calling her some sort of ftm tranny but she clearly seems more comfortable writing male characters and females that are similar to her (bossy bookish know-it-alls and loving mothers) which is weird why she has shilled for the extreme leftism so much.

Kek

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And meanwhile Hagrid and based Arthur don't get any kids named after them while pieces of shit that only used Harry like Dumbledore and Snape do.

Hagrid was still the goalkeeper or whatever his job was, would you want to go to school named the same as a dumb half-giant bum who everyone hates?

damn they really assasinated the blue collar kid with a heart charcter. Shows you the contempt hollywood has for working class "simpleton" kids

This

>b-b-but money
lmao enjoy getting bezoed

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Don't you mean Darth Icky?

Because there weren't any other women that made an impact in Harry's life, Lily Jr still needed a middle name and it would have been a dick move for it to be Hermione when Ron didn't get any middle names with Harry's boys.

>werewolf called Remus Lupin
Don't forget about Fenrir Greyback.
She is about as subtle as George Lucas with her names.

Yes, yes, well done, but why did Krum catch the snitch?

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Because based Ireland let him after shitting on Bulgaria for an hour to put them out of their misery

It was, he turned girls down because he was building up nerve to ask Cho

Fred and George rigged the match in order to win money gambling.

I haven't read the books in ages, what did Ron do?

youtu.be/ZE9rtMB1TfQ
Snape getting butthurt about teenagers talking about dumb teenage drama because he never had that
>name your son after your dad
>naming you daughter after your mom
little weird 2 be honest
Hagrid is a pretty dumb name, kids would call you Hag or somethinf
Arthur is a NEEEEEEERD's name, but then again so is Albus

Not much tbqh. It's true that they gave a few of his lines to Hermione but he never got to have any unique talents nor got to be better than Harry or his brothers at anything.

PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS A FULL COMIC SOMEWHERE

cringe

why do indiasnd have thast fuckjing disgusting fdorehead dot i fucking hate it

youtu.be/tLiQ_1kKgrw

THEY'RE LIKE 14 BRUH

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Pretty much this. We all know that in real life every fucking girl in Hogwarts would have been jumping on Harry's dick, the problem is that the show is written by a dumb cunt with a target audience of children.

>>name your son after your dad
Pretty common practice before 1950. Sometimes father and son even had the same name. Still happens. Donald Jr.

Every girl was jumping on his dick in book 6 but he was too busy wanting to fuck Ron's unavailable sister to take advantage.

Actually made me kek for real.

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What do Hogwarts girls do when they get their periods? Do they have pads/tampons there? Do they have to wait until the summer or Christmas vacations to buy them at muggle stores and stock up?

Who even is that?

They Scourgify the blood away.

Hermione

Get fucked, really?

Couldnt they have picked someone a bit prettier ?

Is she at least a good actress?

probably collected by staff for some potions

Oh I was just fucking around but then I reverse searched the image and it turns out it really is Hermione. Wtf.

>Prisoner of Azkaban describes her as having a "white face"
hmmm

>be 12/13 year old girl at hogwarts
>notice blood in underwear one morning, mom mentioned this would happened one day but still scared
>yfw that creepy potions professor shows up at your dorm room in the middle of the night holding an empty potion flask telling you to come down to the dungeons with him

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There were such better kid's series back in the day that should have gotten way more acclaim. Like Artemis Fowl, or the Bartimaeus Trilogy. Or even the Alex Rider novels.

HP was decent, but the current fanbase just makes it unbearable. And Jk Rowling is just a fucking tard.

"Deh"

Harry Potter is a pretty blatant rip off of The Worst Witch, anyways. It's basically a fanfic of TWW.

I really like the Harry Potter movies, though, personally.

>Artemis Fowl
I only read the first two books but didn't that go to shit to the point that they end up introducing time traveling just so Artemis and Holly could fuck as fanservice without any creepy age difference?