You're cool wine aunt is coming over, what film do you put on to impress her?

the only way "wine aunt" would be cool is if she came into your room at night to fuck you and she is hot, so i would put on spooky movie to make her wanna get close

>imagine this
>you're a stupid bitch on twitter
>who thinks people care about your stupid opinions

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>cool wine aunt
LOL

I'll just show her burn the coal pay the toll compilations from /pol/

To teach her want happens when you fuck blacks. Which she probably already did.

Guess what: I'm a wine aunt

I've been using Yea Forums for 8 years now. I’m a world traveler and proud cat rescuer. I'm a veterinary medicine and wine tasting champion, top of my class. I have an IQ of 146. I'm only 42 and have had 7 generations of educated kittens. I'm a member of the ASPCA society. I voted for Her. I wear a pussy hat. Think you can handle that? I bet you can’t. I fuck based brown men exclusively (its consensual). I'm not a feminist, however, I'm probably more intelligint than most of you in this thread.

Wether you like it or not, females are comperable. I'm not here to steal your Pinot Grigio. I'll probably have a more apropos Pinot than you. I'm not going to make you a sandwhich, I'll have my personal chef named my niece do it. The only plates I pick up aren’t dishes, their my lifts which are bigger than yours. The ironic thing is my father married for looks and I'm actually attractive as well. Cocky? Yes. Ashamed? No.

I won't show you my tits, I'll be your CEO one day, and you'll beg to be my beta "sommelier."

A Christian movie about family.

pic related

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Oh boy here come the incels to convince people they have some sort of biological/moral imperative to have children.

Go back

YER GETTIN YER COCK SUCKED KID

Cool

based

You're missing the point entirely like always.

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this is just a cool aunt, not a cool wine aunt

my jack off video

>burn the coal pay the toll compilations from /pol/
Source?

Hmm yeah that sounds great heh

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Hot white wine breath in your nose, caked on makeup barely concealing the ravages of age, pawing on your hot teen bod and smelly overactive penis...HOT

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wine aunt as in owning a vinyard?
or just drinking lots of wine?

She is implying prostitution

I don't have a cool wine aunt

I have a 300 pound aunt that is the manager of a Quiznos somewhere outside of Pittsburgh

Why do Americans think wine is some kind of cool, exclusive thing?

She is a sad alcoholic who lives paycheck to paycheck because she spends her money on stupid shit

Wine is pretty cool and exclusive by the standards of Burgershart """""culture""""".

They don't

If you don't think you do youre just a waste of space. No morality or ethics involves, youre just useless

S N E E D
N
E
E
D

How do you fill your life? Be as specific and non-abstract as when you said "money and materialism" please.

Beats me. Every wine drinker I've known is either an alcoholic who buys it in boxes or women who default to cheap bottles whenever they want to get stupid drunk with friends.

>The people who don't have sex are the ones urging everyone to have sex
Huh

What gave you that idea?

Boys, imagine this:

It's 15 years from now and you have no wife or (legitimate) kids. You're the cool Jack-and-Coke uncle that occasionally comes back to the country for a brief visit before leaving for another business trip to Central America, South East Asia, Eastern Europe, or generally any country with low age of consent laws.

You have no commitments besides the occasional sex worker murder investigation (which you are never found guilty of), and give suspicious amounts of gifts to your pre-teen nieces and female cousins.

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eerie

No "wine aunt" I've ever seen gets carted around the world to get pissed on by Saudis. It's always teenagers. What happens when they get too old to do it is find fresh "talent" for the wealthy types into this sort of thing.

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What are you people talking about?

I want a wife and kids so bad

Nobody thinks "cool wine aunts" are actually cool except for themselves.

holy fucking kek

I work overseas a lot, the younger guys always fall for some local bimbo looking for a ticket to America. The older guys always trade in their wife for some young thing with a firm ass and break their family apart. Guy I worked with traded his wife in for some slut after he knocked her up and his kids disowned him over the affair. The kid, last I heard, was a fuck up par excellence.

I got promoted, so when I go overseas I'm not in the best position to go party like I used to.

I have a kid. When I die my kid will still be living on.

Why would you save a photo of that narcissist

>You're cool wine aunt
>Guess what: I'm a wine aunt
nice

My ex started dressing like an instathot after we broke up and i told her she dresses like she wants to be pissed on by Arabs
Didn’t take it well desu, then again it was her birthday

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Based aunt

I guarantee all of those cool aunts cry in the shower

I'm already the cool uncle with no kids except I have no fucking money either

Anyone here actually sleep with their aunt? Is that a common thing?

Heard it happens a lot in Mediterranean countries.

We dont, but stupid, unmarried/divorced old women sure seem to.

Does the ideal of a loyal wife who takes care of you and good kids who you pass on your favorite hobbies and taste to really not appeal to you, user?
It is an ideal, and a very difficult to obtain ideal in the current climate, but if you could have it, wouldn't you want it?
It's also the only way for you specifically to continue existing after death. Achievements are warped, misattributed or forgotten, and only preserve an abstract of you, often only your name. The only way to preserve your own flesh and blood is to have kids who continue your line. It's ingrained knowledge, the feeling of achievement when siring offspring, and it's part of why all poorfags and primitives have so many kids.

Kinda. Technically she is my second cousin, but her and my mom grew up together and are very close.

>I'm already the cool uncle with no kids except I have no fucking money either
Cool!

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Europhilia runs deep in American leftism.
My grandpa's vineyard is always full of American leftists that dont know anything about wine thinking they know anything about wine.

Almost. I was like 17 and she was very drunk and kept rubbing my thigh and pressing her boobs against me.

Well. At least you’re not reproducing.

I’m sorry that you didn’t have kids and now regret it. Truly.

My cool wine aunt kept getting into arguments with me after the 2016 election through text messages and wouldn't answer my calls. Then she finally blocked me, but would occasionally unblock me to send me a text essay on why people like me are ruining the world and then block me before I could respond.

I didn't even vote, all she knows about my politics is that I'm a registered republican even though I'm more of a centrist.

Lol you had kids to secure your "legacy." Bet my left nut you live on by your kids hating their dad

Reality: You become the crazy cat lady, no man wants a relationship with you because you are way past the wall. You meet up with a different from Tinder every weekend and end up getting some STDs. Your family never invites you to reunions because you are sad, alone e can only talk about your cats

Based thought nazi aunt tbph

This desu.

Your family never invites you to reunions because you got some of your STD-ridden cuntslime on the toilet seat and infected your 7-year-old niece with an incurable disease*

>hurr choosing to not fill future space with more people is a waste of current space.
Not everyone follows their programming. Enjoy all your expectations falling to pieces and not being taken care of like you expect. Enjoy having to defend your kid at school from other kids, school board and other parents being retarded. Enjoy having your kids confused about their gender. Enjoy living long enough to have your kid develop resentment toward you. Enjoy your wife leaving you for Tyrone or someone with more status and you still gotta support that cunt.

I hate weakness and don't want to have to spend time near a weak ass woman and then a weak ass child.
I would rather work on building robots. Robots are strong and pure.

No. And anyone who says that they did or their drunk aunt came on to them or any other obvious porn scenerio is lying.

My cool wine aunts are a pair of lesbians who got rich by getting into the jewelry and real estate businesses when the markets were unsaturated in certain parts of the U.S. I live in one of their condos for free because I'm the favorite nephew, I just have to stay elsewhere for a week maybe once every two years in the event they want to rent it out to a friend.

All these problems can be avoided if you’re a good parent and husband. Sounds to me like you don’t have much confidence in yourself so you stay in your comfortable cave that will eventually fall in on you. Take some damn risks, accept responsibility, and fucking live.

I guess your suppose to assume shes fucking a bunch of rich dudes.

t.
t. weakling aspie making excuses
better men find unpozzed wives, unpozzed private schooling and don't let their kids stray into the electronic jew

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Based pasta

I see the pasta has evolved, well done

Private school is like £30k a year in bongland

mamma mia is wine aunt kino

I have a wife and kid, it's comfy, but enjoy your time and money.

>mfw aunt just graduated from being cool wine aunt to getting knocked up by a divorced guy already trawling two kids
Good for her, she was never a cool wine aunt on purpose but always had trouble keeping guys around.
Honestly my mother mogs all her sisters by having had five kids, the rest are trying to catch up but poorly. My other aunt is a single mother so yeah...

The weed sorts itself out.
Ironic!

My cousin fucked me when I was 10 and she was 15. The joys of isolated teenage girls I guess.

y tu mama tambien

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Huh, are you planning on doing a brain transplant when he gets older? Or maybe some unholy ritual where you steal his youth? You're not the body-swapped consciousness of Bela Lugosi, are you?

What's amazing about these posts is I know that whoever wrote the pasta is probably even more racist and sexist than I am.

...

>you're useless if you don't produce more consumers.

Thank god you don’t reproduce.
Imagine being one of your kids, yikes!

Fucking gay ending.

>consumers
Nations cannot exist without citizens stupid. The elderly cannot take care of themselves. The youth cannot teach themselves. Quit being a vacuous consumer yourself.

I thought the original was cute, this is even better. strong no homo

its the patriarchy's fault

No, for all of history men dealt with it because it was required for society. Men love nothing more than having true freedom. Don't let tradcucks online convince you other because once you pop out that first kid theres no going back for at least 18 years. If you dont want it definitely dont do it

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Came here to post this.

I’d only want kids if I was rich enough to pay a nanny to do all the bullshit grunt work like cooking and changing diapers so I could enjoy the fun parts of having children.

I assume like everyone else, I had only ever seen the ‘Aunt Diane and Friend’ scene from this porn for years. The title is Private Teacher and sadly the Aunt Diane scene is the only good part and it’s at the very end. The rest of the movie sucks.

God i wish I had an aunt like that.

Based roastie, /pol/ btfo.

kek

8/10

>caring about some dried up lonely roastie.
>implying they'll get to be an aunt when all the rest of their femnazi freinds are also barren

Not laughing in their faces is the best I can do

i don't think anybody cares when old single roasties have a lot of money. they always just spend it on themselves.

Don't mind me, I just want to see what the septs were

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>you become an aunt from your friends having children
???

Has anyone ever honestly met cool wine aunt? Seriously, every woman Ive met over 40 whos not married is miserable. The happy ones ive met have all already had kids/husband and got divorced and have had their kids grow up already.

dubai porta potty

No one is going to pay to fuck a post wall hoe

Dumbasses shitting out dumber spawn are the most useless. We would function much better in a low population setting, that's how Europeans countries were able to be successfully socialists for much of the 2nd half of the 20th century.

There's always going to be completely empty beaded morons like you whose only goal is to create more little worker drones for the men doing real work with REAL value (not playing catch and going to disneyland), so if you're a smarter, more driven individual children would just get in the way of whatever you want to do.

And do I even need to explain how some cunt who thinks she is entitled to half your wealth would slow you down?

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I fucked a cool wine aunt once, but you’re right. She was a divorcee that got a lot of money in the settlement.

>My life is terrible and I recommend you all do likewise
sounds like great advice

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women think it's not alcoholism if you're drinking wine

No idea why it’s described as “suspicious,” I would have assumed the extra money would be from the lack of kids

Shes commented on how moronic, low education worker bees are always in shock and awe of 25-40 year old people without kids having nice and expensive things while they work wage slave jobs and try to raise 2-4 little unruly delinquents. I get it all the time whenever someone sees my car.

It's stems for an inability to admit children impacted their life trajectory for the worst.

>I'm probably more intelligint than most of you in this thread
>intelligint

There are multiple typos in that pasta, user. It’s part of the bait. That is the joke as they say.

Im sure you'll be really happy when you're 80 years old living alone in a goverment retirement home getting smacked around by some overweight nigress nurse.

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The vast majority of nursing home residents today also have children you utter fucking moron, there's no guarantee your children won't dump you there as well. Generational anger is only getting worse so I'm sure you and me will be roomies ;)

Taboo or Private Teacher

If you need children to give your life purpose you're absolutely pathetic in my eyes. It's the most basic-bitch aspiration. Focus on science.

>no garuntee you're kids won't dump you there
Don't be a shitty parent then
You're lifestyle is guaranteed to ensure you die alone

I'm the not cool uncle who comes around once or twice a year and doesn't say anything.

BASED REDDITOR

I never had a cool wine aunt. I just got a lousy PC-loving aunt who is annoying.

I'm sure all the current residents were all awful parents and aren't just the victims of entitled and traitorous little shits upset their parents had a better life than they did

But please, raise your children in a repressive christian household in the year of the internet where all your bullshit is a simple google search away from being debunked.

As I said, see you there roomie ;)

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My dad had his mom put in an assisted living facility simply because both of my parents worked and she wasn’t safe to be alone all day once she developed dementia. The other option would’ve been to hire an expensive private nurse to look after her but they couldn’t afford that.

>repressive

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my cool wine aunt got married 6 years ago to some beta faggot. everyone in her family hates him. i lost my aunt bros ;_;

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>christianity is a simple google search away from being debunked
euphoric and fedora-pilled

>Play with the kids so you make an impression that you've become an adult who knows how to handle children.

>Play with them for too long and everyone thinks you're a creepy weirdo.

And she's being abused the same way the old lady who never had kids is being abused. That's the point. The concept of ome elderly care has been dead since 2 income households became not only ideal but absolutely necessary. Nobody has time to wipe some boomer's ass if they're not getting paid for it.

Lel now this is some next level projection
Tell me more about how mommy and daddy blew your college fund on tgat expensive vacation through the Caribbean

I have an wine aunt who is half sister of my mom that is like 15 years older than me and for some reason I want to fuck her so bad. I dont even feel a romantic love for her. Her previous husband beat her and I just LMAO. Her actual husband is an actual great guy. I still want to fuck her though.

I have been fapping to the idea of her riding me and when she playfully sit on me I had the best masturbations of my life. Help bros.

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My parents were simple but working class typical NPCs who only probably got married because "well that's just what we do". They had no fortune to blow, I've made all I have for myself, and it will all die with me.

Oh please. It’s not like any of you internet addicted shitposters are ever actually going to go through with your claims of raising a conservative Christian household. The people that have that kind of moral fiber don’t come to this website.

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oldboy

>Remember to proverbially love thy neighbour, son.
>*click clack click* Google says this is all bullshit, dad, go fuck yourself

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This needs to be the new navy seal copy pasta

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What a meaningful existence you have
You must be a very interesting person I'm sure

>roasties are trying to claim cool wine aunt as a positive

Chew on those sour grapes you lowly fucking cog. Shit out another son to dance and serve my Coldstone and a daughter for me to defile, that's all your good for you complete drone

Your brain is so stereotypically moulded by poverty and stupidity

>registered republican
>"centrist", but obviously and undeniably right leaning
EVERY TIME

>we need mo money fo dem proframs and shiiieet
>right

Why do you sound like a 12yo edgelord?

Auntie Mame

>everyone to the right of open borders is rightleaning
EVERY TIME

I’m merely pointing out that it’s hypocritical to try to raise your kids with strict Christian values when you spent your younger years online arguing over trivial crap and calling strangers faggots. Teenagers will sniff your bullshit out very quickly.

WHOOSH

You are aware there are such things as being center left and center right? Oh wait, I forgot we were on Yea Forums.

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Good pasta, but there's literally nothing worse then a female wine drunk. They get sloppy, they get loud, they get violent. My friend used to date one and every night it was drunken rage and punching holes in drywall if not an outright assault. I've never seen anything like it in my life and I've known plenty of alcoholics both male and female

If he's a centerist. why did he go out of his way to register as a republican? You know you can just vote and not register

>coldstone
go on a diet you tubby piece of shit

Im 100 certain you're a virgin introvert, overweight, and barely scraping by on a shitty job as a wage slave. You aren't fooling anyone loser

Trouble is, left center-left, center, center-right, and right are indistinguishable when they all come down to flavors of corporate boot-licking. Not even different flavors of boots, just different kinds of tongue action.

I'm doing an exchange in Brazil right now and i just want to fuck hot brown bitches.

Yeah yeah, viva la revolution you cringy fucking failure

>Cool wine aunts
>Having a job

since your overseas feel free to nut in as many hot brazilian wombs are you feel like, make the conquistadors proud

>exchange
Don't hype yourself up too much, student. No one will pay your ransom if you get kidnapped.

feminists are outraged that the line to the women's room is too long and the line to the mens room is much shorter.

Some states have closed primaries, and if you are an independent then you can't vote in the primaries at all.
Registering in a party gives you another chance to vote essentially

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it's sad you even had to explain this

unironically based.

I doubt most of /pol/ even votes since it can’t be done from their computers.

Also you have to be 18

>have five siblings
>3 are married with kids
>1 is engaged
>other one is in a long term relationship and will likely elope
>I've never been in a relationship and I'm 28

I'm...I'm gonna make it, right lads?

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are you retarded?

you're reading the image
you're reading the post

>you're reading the post
yes and trying to figure out what you meant is frying my brain so i might be retarded myself now

Who would pay a dried up old has-been for sex? She drinks for a reason. That reason is lack of attention.

Pics of her feet?

but niggers are hot. just don't get impregnated or do

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IT'S A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY

the spelling errors really elevate this pasta

>cool wine aunt visits for christmas
>gets drunk again
>pisses standing up in the back yard
>cries on your mother's shoulder about how lonely she is
>hits on your dad
>puts her hand on your thigh at dinner

No thanks