ITT film """critics"""

THE PROBLEM WITH IT IS

"Jaws 1 star"

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Based conservative gay nigger.

>film is trash but has an awfully nice British person involved
KERMODE
I
N
O

Which other film critic was almost shot while talking with Werner Herzog?
That's right.

>called Fantastic Mr Fox "a perfect example of a kid's movie made by adults for adults - sort of looking down their noses at kids and by people who don't actually know anything about kids at all"
>goes on to name "Inside Out" as the best movie of 2015

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Every single knobgobbler that gave Ghostbusters 2016 a good review. Blatant lying should discredit any critic.

Jaws was the very first popcorn flick garbage that set a precedent for future trash blockbusters

HERE'S THE THING

it was a joke

>"PEOPLE WHO HATED IT ARE JUST MISOGYNISTS" - cuckmode, 2016

>tfw Fantastic Mr Fox is actually an incredible film that I loved watching as both a kid and an adult
>tfw Inside Out is easily the most overrated movie ever
niiiiiiiice

Does anyone care about him besides his connection to Chris and his review of Toy Story 3?

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>No frogkemode in this thread yet...

perfect timing
youtube.com/watch?v=9DqU99FXGgo

>Mayo starts reading in-joke-laden correspondence from the public about their precocious children

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Why don't they post the whole show on their youtube channel?

It’s reminiscent of Lynch by way of Kubrick in a sort of Hitchcockian send up of a Woody Allen classic infused with Lanthimosian characters

>2009
>kid
Huh, that's weird innit

Was Mr Fox even meant as a kids movie?

You don't want to hear it, believe me. Film talk/reviews make up a fraction of the show length. The rest is reader emails about how middle class they are

I'm pretty sure it was marketed as a kid's movie and I remember enjoying it very much when I saw it when I was like 10 or so. It's much much more of kid's movie than Isle of Dogs was

Those are the worst, they all try so hard to be cute too

Aren't the emails any good? They posted the whole show twice on youtube i think. Some of it was pointless ramblings but some of it was alright.

>people not understanding Kermode
It's not about whether you agree with him, the point is that by his reaction you will always know if YOU will like the movie or not

yeh but usually you follow critics because they have similar tastes to you so when they recommend something you can have a good idea if you'll like it or not

Sigh.Here's the thing. The evidence of any wrongdoing by Mr. Dan Schneider is scant, to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the man can direct traffic not to mind a film. But he deserves the benefit of the doubt. He's a smart man, not without his flaws, but I am in his corner as regards this matter. Some of the diatribes against the man had me wanting to bathe in Clorox. Hello to Jason Isaacs, hello to Chinaman Corner, william peter blatty silent running overstayed its welcome hello to Stephen Fry's sweaty cock

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>Muh Amma Asante
>Muh erudite twelve year old Correspondents
>Muh bathe in Clorox
>Muh Emma Thompson
>Muh quiff
>Muh Skiffle
>Muh Bananarama
>Muh Comsat Angels

Male Nudity:

>Oh I love Richard Gere. I wouldn't mind seeing him naked. Even my wife knows how I feel about Richard Gere
>Could have done with more male nudity
>Funny that the Hemsworth guy plays a dumb beefcake
>Let's read out this letter from a woman saying how hot male actor is
>Let's read out letter from gay man saying how hot male actor is

Female Nudity
>Problematic
>Leering
>Grubby
>Bathe in Clorox
>Don't trust the director
>Gender politics are 'all over the place'
>No letter ever mentioning appearance or desirability of female actor ever even makes it to be read out.
>Simon Mayo says something along the lines of Cate Blanchett is attractive: Mark groans and tells him to stop and that it's creepy

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>the thing sucks
>reservoir dogs sucks
>godfather 2 cringe
>butch cassidy and the sundance kid yikes
>once upon a time in the west two and a half stars, lmao leone is burned out
>blade runner sucks
yeah great critic lmao, meanwhile if fellini or pasolini filmed a little monkey masturbate for 2 hours he'd give it 4 stars

He was an old boomer. Why would you have expected him to like your nu-film buff fedoracore?

Kek, add Ava DuVernay and Lynne Ramsay.

based frogkermode poster

Do the british middleclass typically subscribe to Kermode's far left political shit? Every email sounds like it's written by the same person but it's hard for me to imagine who the audience for the BBC party line shit actually is.

Ignorant Reddit opinion

The genetic code for Reddit was all right there within Jaws back in 1975. It's easy to trace the nu-male capeshit influence in cinema going back decades if you know what to look for.

not always but i dont think people usually care about his general political outlook

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He was an interesting left-wing guy like that clever professor you once had but in the past 2 years he's just gone full mega cuck, I think the bbc threatened that he'd get replaced with a woman if he didn't

>That ratio
Looks like the trolls have been at it again.

lol the people that write into bbc programmes are fart-sniffing weirdos

Everything is going to be all right in the end

>called Godzilla 2 "Wet Transformers"
he's fucking dead to me

they're actually called "dislike mobs"

youtube.com/watch?v=EEdlaJo5YV8

/ournigga/

kek

I like him. Sometimes I agree with him, other times not, but I like hearing his reviews.

66M people live here... There are millions upon millions of people who think and act exactly like mark.

I believe this.

LTL here. Hello to Jason

He does good film documentaries, usually for BBC Four.

I seem to remember him saying that Mad Max Fury Road wasn't feminist enough. I have no idea what the criteria is anymore.

he really is a good read

bump

i remember him talking about how Birdman shouldnt have won over Boyhood in the best picture category because he said Birdman was oscar bait and will be forgotten in 5 years....

Is Roger Ebert based?

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sometimes yes sometimes not. he was based for giving Synecdoche, New York 4/4 at the time when it was getting panned by all the other critics but he can be a bit of a white knight as you can see in his reviews of Blue Velvet and Clockwork Orange... it seems he just cant stand violence against women depicted on screen

youtube.com/watch?v=x6rGg4F2VKg

>why yes I love socialist films by Ken Loach, how could you tell?

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I was told he was molested at a young age, so rape is a sensitive subject for him.

>it seems he just cant stand violence against women depicted on screen
and yet in my opinion this is the height of kino. Lots of men have had bad experience with women and want to see them pay in an escapist setting.

if a film maker was against domestic abuse and making a comment on it by including some women getting hit or something he would probably still have a hissy fit because the film depicts violence against women

extremely UNbased
indeed but only if its a woman being raped

He's often pretty far off the mark.
Avatar a masterpiece? I mean it's an effective film but come on. It's so blatantly manipulative

How ironic, I just spent 45 minutes cleaning my grandmother's Mark Commode after she pebbledashed it, then pop onto 4chinz for a wee browse and this is the first thread I see

Name a more intelligent critic. You literally can’t

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>Avatar a masterpiece
>Usual Suspects trash
>also thinks Jurassic Park is shite

fuck this eejit

Of course you do, you believe any retarded conspiracy theory as long as it supports your biased outlook.

He """""reviewed""""" Terminator Salvation and claimed it to be a good film. After many days of his fans ripping him a new hole he redacted his previous """""review""""" and then said that TS was shit. His excuse was that he had been reading a magazine at the same time he was watching TS ... as if that is a good enough reason for not doing his job properly. Absolute fucking hack.

Maybe because you started singing L'Internationale mid way through reviewing one of the Sex in the City cash grabs.

Is he based or not?

>doesn't like the sting because it beat the exorcist at the oscars
>prefers sorcerer to wages of fear because it was made by the guy who made the exorcist
>thinks the deer hunter cannot be good because cimino also made heaven's gate
>cucked by the bbc/bafta into praising amma asante's pedestrian output
>didn't actually throw a shoe at the screen when watching the idiots at cannes