Your cool wine aunt is coming over, what movie do you put on to impress you?

cool beer uncles are usually hick retards. equally as cringe as wine aunts baka desu senpai

>You have a suspicious amount of money

what did she mean by this?

At least they are themselves and not trying to be like Samantha from Sex and the City

Bridget Jones marathon.

Boomer = comfy, accepting old age
Wine aunt = insecure, rejecting old age, subtext of regret

Cool beer uncles are only cool if you're in the mood for being a piece of shit, which is fine. Any other time they're a nuisance at best.

But boomers have families

Private Teacher

Aint happening. Economy is going to crash later this year, and millennials wont be able to afford vacations

A suspiciously small amount of money - as if she's never had a job and lives off her parents

She’s a cum dumpster

Cat food and dildos are cheap.

>You will also die alone and scared in a government retirement facility because no one will care that you exist

>dildos are cheap

Is this really where you want to take this thread?

>But the TV promised!!!!

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She thinks she's going to be a globe-trotting alcoholic version of Kramer from Seinfeld.

Mommy

>graduate just in time to get fucked by the first great recession
>finally start to do decently, starting a small business
>hit by another recession
How do I unjust myself

sell high, short stocks and buy when everything shits the bed

the parasite knows that its life will change in its 30s
it can't just attach to a male host as easy as before anymore
young hosts aren't interested in spending money on you
old hosts have often settled down with another parasite already, only 1 parasite per host sorry....

so it panics and goes insane
and becomes the "cool wine aunt" with no money, no friends, no sex life
doomed to continue this existence forever

Accept that we live past the apex of civilization.

What's the male version of a wine aunt? I want to prey on them.

ITS ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE JANICE SOPRANO

Recessions are where rich people are made. If you go into it not able to become rich you never deserved to be

I've never met a redneck who didn't desperately try to conform to their idealized version of what a manly country man is.

Nothing, she isn't invited

I unironically have a cool wine aunt. When I was born she said to my mom she didn't want to have kids because my mom had me 'for her too' or some kind of crazy wine aunt bullshit like that. She's a two times widow and got really fat and even though she has a lot of money she's really selfish, I once asked her for a reasonable loan because of an investment opportunity and she declined, even though she knows I legit have genius autistic iq, that investment was a right call I made a x10 on it, I just could have made so much more with her help. She's spending all her money on bullshit holidays and traveling alone to shitty resorts instead, classic boomer wine aunt. However I'm her only heir and she told me I would inherit everything of what's left, at least I'll have some land and a big house.

This is correct. My cool beer uncle lives with his mom in his 70s, spends his time watching Live PD, plays web browser games and thinks Uber is gang-stalking him.

>She's a two times widow

That really makes you think, doesn't it?

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>before another long exotic vacation
How does she afford all these holidays?

Sounds pretty based

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sounds fucking based if im being honest. my cool bear uncle is an unironic nazi

The suspicious amount of money, of course.

>tfw no ursine uncle
why even live?

>while cool wine aunts are just pathetic
they live in denial, usually narcissists, jealous and loud,
they keep escaping from their real age
they drink and buy stuff to forget how miserable they are, the extra kilos,wrinkles and how nobody flirts with them anymore

The thread was started because OP is upset that women don't approach him.

have sex

t. cool wine roastie

Not saying this is cope, but she comes across as trying desperately to cope

Hey man, you wanna come with me? I'm goin' down to the old abandoned Menards to spin some sick brodies in my Firebird in their parkin' lot. Come on man!

Seems pretty cool desu

based and economically-literate-pilled

Cool wine aunts are still leagues more respectable than adult male virgins

>conform
>doing what men are naturally drawn to
You dropped some onions m8

Huh?

Sounds like you don't have manly hobbies and are coping hard

>leaving for another long exotic vacation
>suspicious amount of money
Lel, used up post wall roasty coping.
Under what pretense does she think she'll have that level of fun and money? Especially after her sexual value plummets?

>Economy is going to crash later this year,
the economy can't crash, because it doesn't exist

I rather the mid twenties cool aunt that's your mom's younger sister, who purposely teases you sexually

>long, exotic vacation
>suspicious amounts of money
so she gets paid to be a Saudi urinal?

you go girl
live/love/laugh am i right?

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Quintessential wine aunt kino

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From her job retard. She's busy having fun and you're here bitter and forever alone.

I'm a man. Sounds like you haven't become one yet.