When will we get horror kino based on the Ape Canyon Incident of 1924?

>dumb bitch thought apes were immune to the kali yuga
fucking retarded old hag

>naming an ape Satan
For what fucking purpose?

That would be pretty fucking cool

In a nicer way, that is a criticism other scientists moved.

Are there any significant side effects to the natural world if we were to kill all primates?

nah i doubt it, it should be done. start with the niggers first though.

>somalians arriving in minnesota

What did you expect? Kali Yuga is already here, why would people take notice.

yeah thats what im saying, why would she think apes were magically immune to it?

Where is ape canyon?

i didnt know chicago was in a canyon

>the kali yuga

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>"'Carter's complete disappearance is an unsolved mystery to this day,' declared Bob Lee, a well-known Portland mountaineer .... 'Dr. Otto Trott, Lee Stark, and I finally came to the conclusion that the apes got him,' said Lee seriously.... On the way down the mountain, he [Carter] left the other climbers at a landmark called Dog's Head, at the 8000-foot (2400 m) level. He told them he would ski around to the left and take a picture of the group as they skied down to timberline. That was the last anyone saw of Carter. The next morning searchers found a discarded film box at the point where he had taken a picture. "From here, Carter evidently took off down the mountain a wild, death-defying dash, 'taking chances that no skier of his caliber would take unless something was terribly wrong or he was being pursued .... He jumped over two or three large crevasses and evidently was going like the devil.' When Carter's tracks reached the precipitous sides of Ape Canyon, the searchers were amazed to see that Carter had been in such a hurry that he went right down the steep canyon walls. But they did not find him at the bottom .... 'We combed the canyon, one end to the other, for five days. Sometimes there were as many as 75 people in the search party ....' After two weeks the search was called off."

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If we know gorillas can communicate we should start training and evolving their intelligence. In 100 years we could be living side by side with them.

I remember reading about this as a kid

>mfw i took that screenshot

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I've thought the same thing about dogs. If I won the lottery I would start a dog ranch and only breed the smartest dogs with the most vocally capable dogs

A second biopic of Diane Fossey, this one focusing on the physical and sexual abuse she subjected suspected poachers to.
Lots of time given to tortures involving sodomy and the application of powdered peppers to the anus and genitals of her victims.

Why is /x/ invading Yea Forums now?

more I look into it the more I consider that Sasquatch were real in the Pacific Northwest but most likely have since gone extinct or are nearly

selectively breeding chimpanzee in the direction of what we perceive human evolution to have gone would be interesting tbf

Fucking hell

why would you try to start the dogstorm

same, I'm from Europe so I thought Bigfoot was an elaborate joke for most of my life, but after actually looking into it for a while now some of the shit surrounding it is just too convincing.

Some expert she was. Those things will tear you to shreds man

why do you believe that she abused suspected poachers? I really would like to know since it seems interesting but I can't find any information about it.

seems like something a banana burner would do

peeled the yellow, stay away fellow

Legend of Boggy Creek already nailed the being-attacked-by-bigfoot-while-inside-a-cabin movie genre "based on real events". Also bigfoot horror tends to suck. I'm not sure people are afraid of the idea of bigfoot until they're alone in the woods and night is coming. It's just a goofy idea until then.

did Goodall ever fucked an chimp?

They have been on /pol/ too. Probably bc /x/ is so slow

Based Bigfoot user, I was in your thread the other day

how long is kali again? we still have about 4800 years right?

They are an unofficially recognized indigenous ancestor to humans, we leave them alone the same way we leave tribes in the rainforest alone (for the most part) because it's the right thing to do. If enough people believed in bigfoot to start hunting them you would see efforts to convince people it's a hoax, otherwise the topic is left alone like ghost hunters, people are happy to lay back and watch comfy tv shows of investigations done by the 1/100000000 people who actually make a tv show about bigfoot or ghosts. Even better that most people don't believe any of it is real.

Boggy Creek II is my favorite MST3K episode for what it's worth

If I had to guess, Sasquatch or Bigfoot sightings are just random glimpses of bears temporarily walking on two legs due to a damaged front leg. If retards saw that from afar with no binoculars for only a few seconds, of course they'd believe it's some kind of furry humanoid.

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>Fossey would "load up on firecrackers, cheap toys and magic tricks as part of her method to mystify the (Africans) hold them at bay.

>the journalist Tunku Varadarajan described Fossey at the end of her life as colorful, controversial, and "a racist alcoholic who regarded her gorillas as better than the African people who lived around them"

Shitpost. No reason only one person can do something.

isnt that affirmative action?

yeah sure squanto

siberians migrated and bred with indios in north america creating hybrid monsters that were often wont to poaching game to its full extinction. likely bigfoot WAS real, but hunted to death.

that started as cute and quickly turned into nightmare fuel

>alone in the woods and night is coming
>be alone in woods camping for a few days last week
>medium group of barred owls start to congregate and talk madly to each other despite being typically solitary animals
>start to worry
The woods are weird

That's like telling someone who saw a bird flying for 5 minutes that it was actually a kite. You must have not actually read or heard about any sightings, they aren't vague.

Muj symbolism

Eat shit, cuck. You're probably not even American.

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please no bully
youtube.com/watch?v=kcIkQaLJ9r8

Poor bear

>Bigfoot sightings
that's the thing, I don't put a whole lot of value on sightings.
But there is a lot of stuff pointing towards the very real possibility of there being a species of Apes in North America.

no bully but i thought that was your intention

The best evidence is vocalizations in my opinion. It's even better evidence than footprints.

To what point? Wouldn't it make a lot more sense to improve humans?

Can you imagine this thing showing up in your backyard and then just start talking?

youtube.com/watch?v=JYz9L_jl-0Q

>taking chances that no skier of his caliber would take unless something was terribly wrong or he was being pursued

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Why anyone never found sasquatch poop? Big monkey, big turd, it's that fuckin easy.

I personally would like to thank because I love it

>Alan!

We have literally no concrete evidence of bigfoot existing and any sightings are always either a bear or the person outright lying. The Patterson film is clearly faked and so is any other footage. How can a creature exist without anyone ever finding our skeletons or ever getting proper footage. It's insane that people still think this shit can be real.

Has this been confirmed for anything yet?

Sasquatch is an extra-dimensional creature, they're not native to our world.

Eyewitness accounts are garbage, user. People get details wrong in normal settings.
Imagine being out in the woods and you see a large, hairy figure walking in the distance. Most people would freakout and scream BIGFOOT than recognize it as a bear

>tfw you will never have a spooky Bigfoot encounter in the woods, because Bigfoot just isn't real
>tfw the woods you live near are heavily populated and you won't ever have any kind of scary or haunting experience in them
Does this bother anyone else?

t. skeptic that never seriously looked into the unknown.

shut up faggot

Has happened many times but there's no way to prove what it belongs to.

>everyone is a liar
>stop investigating immediately
Fuck off ya book burning spook

Faggot...!

youtube.com/watch?v=WmbNEKrNnvg
ignore the shitty intro, this tape is great

>our skeletons

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Would you really want to run into a Bigfoot in the woods? He might turn you into his forest bride

Who are you trying to convince? Not only do sightings not describe a bear, I have read them and know they don't describe someone talking about a possible bear. You're now arguing with me AND the people whose sightings I've read. Just let us and our supposed walking bears be.

Bears don’t normally walk upright like that though. The webm posted is a viral video of a bear with injured paws. A normal black bear would never walk upright for that long.

Why is every supposed bigfoot sighting always recorded so blatantly poorly?

Cryptards currently think that bigfeets are mutli-dimensional and only ever temporarily phase into our existence.

Am I supposed to believe this sasquatch is wearing snowshoes?

better version, full version
youtube.com/watch?v=2-inEpxRZzs

>finding our skeletons
Nice try, Squatchnigger

Just how advanced is the big foot civilization?

I'd like Bigfoot to be real just as much as you would, user. The sad reality is that the whole thing started as a hoax

Because people out hiking see shit in the distance, it's fucking huge, they don't want to stop and have it see them, they zoom in completely, and book it because it's a big fucking forest monster.

I want to shoot Bigfoot as he charges out of the treeline to try and rend my limbs from my body.

Because Bigfoot doesn't exist and people are faking it or are just retarded?

The Patterson-Gimlin film kicked off the modern era Bigfoot craze but there had been sightings in that area of California way before they came along in the 60s.

Bigfoot cultures are clearly advanced to the stage they probably cremate, bury and/or consume their dead out of necessity. They know to hide or remove their droppings, they're clearly stealth-focused and semi-solitary, but need their size to contend with shit like bears and wolves, perhaps also against larger prey like deer. They also probably don't reproduce much. They're probably very nearly extinction.

A hoax? I thought it was all misidentified bear sightings...

You people who actually want to encounter a Sasquatch in real life are insane.
youtube.com/watch?v=npswv7Zh8sg

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You seem really triggered by the fact that animals walking on two legs can be misidentified for fur-covered humanoids. Are you gonna be ok?

I want to go deep innawoods for a monster hunting trip

This more then anything.

The real monster is loneliness.

>the one anti-squatch soiboi in here typing off his cracked.com list of reasons bigfoot are not real and fake

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I've worked in the woods for several years now and have met a lot of people that for one reason or another the topic of Bigfoot has come up with.

I worked with one logger who swore up and down that Bigfoot was real and that he heard and saw bizarre shit all the time. He lived in a camper trailer up at the logging site and would tell me about the weird noises he would hear at night, show me videos and pictures, etc. He didn't exactly give off the crazy vibe but he was a heroin addict so take what you will from that.

Another logger working about a mile away when asked about Bigfoot talked for almost an hour about all the reasons why it couldn't exist. His main point was that in America people have literally been to every acre of land out there, and most of it has been logged or otherwise worked in for over a century, much of it by people that live in the area. And with most people having cameras at all times for the last decade you would expect someone to finally have a clear picture, but there isn't one.

And finally is the Bigfoot researcher that camps all over the forest I work on that I've run into several times. He's by all appearances an absolutely normal guy that looks like a regular grandpa, but will talk all day about all the Bigfoot signs he sees every night. Apparently he was contacted by the Finding Bigfoot people and he told them to fuck off so they wouldn't scare off the local Bigfeet.

I've worked a lot of days and nights in the woods miles from town and haven't heard or seen anything that bizarre, except for some stuff in the sky. I'm in the non-believer camp as far as Bigfoot goes.

>BUT BIGFOOT'S NOT REAL!

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>mfw a bear sits outside my tent for 30 minutes

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Well when you name an ape Satan what do you expect to happen?

>His main point was that in America people have literally been to every acre of land out there
That is complete and utter bullshit. There's leagues of forest across North America people have just never fucking set foot in. Most people with their camera phones are not tramping across the vast uninhabited miles of forest every day to see what's going, they're contained with urban centres usually 24/7. People vanish into thin across park and forests every week. America's a big fucking place with a lot of very empty places. Canada even more so. Believe in Bigfoot or not, that statement is just wrong.

Triggered? I thought I was simply mistaken... educate me from my foolish whimsies and beliefs in walking bears user! I'm just a yokel after all shucks

actually some bears walk on 2 legs just bc it makes them look ''cool'' with the bear females

The real monster was the isolation we created on our own.

But mama said

>people disappear in the parks all the time
Anybody have one of those maps about this? Bratty spooky stuff

Go deer hunting

Thats what that feeling is

The government should have spotted bigfoot on the infrared satellite by now

>deer hunting
>deep innawoods
user...

>His main point was that in America people have literally been to every acre of land out there
Patently untrue, the western USA is full of regions of forest too remote or too rugged to be effectively logged. It's total bullshit to state that some valley surrounded by ravines, 4000m peaks, and 20 miles from the nearest road is so heavily used that anything living in it at any time has to have been photographed by now.

It's actually pretty boring. You would have to be in a hot spot for a couple weeks and even then you might just hear footsteps and branches breaking.

they were probably talking about you lmao

Imagine the smell

i get that you're quoting thumbhead but do you also understand that it was goodall who discovered this in the first place

>get up covered in peanut butter
>immediately take a shower
>proceed to ruin some random "friends" bathroom by leaving the peanut butt all over the shower, sink, toilet, poop on the floor and piss everywhere
>use all the towels in the bathroom
>leave the piss soaked towels in the bath tub which is clogged with peanut butter, warm water, and piss
>"hahaha that was a funny joke guys! but I gotta go! cya next friday!"
>get in car, block everyone, and drive off laughing

If they are real the gov knows all about them. If the gov chooses to leave them alone it's because they are too human to be managed like other wildlife.

the government probably found out bigfoot isnt real, so they created one in a lab in some DUMB and turned it into a super soldier and have been randomly releasing them into the wilds for testing.

No they walk on their hind legs to indimdate bearlets and establish dominance

based

>4000m peaks
You are an absolute dipshit.

I know it's easy to assume given the state of your average millenial that nobody goes outside but you are vastly underestimating the amount of woods people out there. There are absolutely no places in the lower 48 that people have not gone to for one reason or another. If it wasn't loggers, it was miners, or firefighters, or anymore just people that heard there are some big-ass trees in an area to look at. I have been in places I considered the middle of absolutely nowhere, hiked miles from the nearest brushed-in road prism and found trees with initials carved into it dating back 70 years.

And yes people vanish all the time. People vanish in urban areas, too. There are critters that will scatter bodies, there are people that know to stash a body under a windfelled tree and cut it at the trunk so the roots cover the body up, there are deep drainages you can't see into unless you climb down into the thick shitty brush which someone inevitably has and will do again given enough time. And I'm telling you user, as someone that works in the industry, even what are classified as "wilderness" aren't actually wilderness, they have almost all been managed at one time and excluded from management at a much later date, usually at great detriment to the land. There are no places that people haven't seen here.

We have it now. It’s been going on 2 years already. In 2 more years there will be an election loss, a us president will refuse to step down, and a violent overthrow of the White House, senate, congress, and all out civil war in the nations political center, radiating out from there across the midwestern states, followed by the technocrats fleeing and China and Russia seizing the moment and launching their biological attacks on the country.

>There are absolutely no places in the lower 48 that people have not gone to for one reason or another. If it wasn't loggers, it was miners, or firefighters, or anymore just people that heard there are some big-ass trees in an area to look at.
What about the people who have gone to those places and seen bigfoot though.....

What makes you think they'd even care about that? What makes you think a bigfoot is distinguishable from a bear or moose like that? What makes you think they even have a population big enough to be spotted in any meaningful way that doesn't vome off as, at worst, a glitch?

You're a fucking retard, the highest peaks in the contiguous USA are all 4000 meters.

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What about that is wrong?

>someone went somewhere once
>usually on a remote trek to a permanent destination
>that place is now permanently occupied by people and we know everything happening there
That's not how the wilderness works, child. It's like you dont even understand why the woods are spooky. Certainly have no concept of natural history.

>a us president will refuse to step down, and a violent overthrow of the White House, senate, congress
there's something called checks and balances that prevents it from happening. plus americans are so passive as if they'd go into civil war

I somehow doubt that m8, sorry. Yeah yeah cognitive dissonance, but you're actually trying to get me to believe that every square inch of land in America, shit, North America, has been occupied or stepped on. That's simply ridiculous.

Willow Creek isn't bad
who was your favorite character? mine is Travis Crabtree

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Exactly, you spastic fucker. The average mountain on the west coast of the US isn't 4000m. Bigfoot isn't hanging out around the peak of Mt. Whitney, you stupid fucking basement dweller sack of shit. Pull that cock out of your ass before you type.

even if people have been everywhere, which is quite unlikely, you underestimate the desire and ability of animals not to be seen.
95% of the time a wild animal is being seen by a person is because the person is not moving and the animal accidentally walks into view, but more often than not the human is stumbling through the wild and any animal in the vicinity has long since gotten out of dodge.

ITT: Chad Believers vs Skepticels

spooky as af

Hey retard eat shit. There are 4000m peaks surrounding all over the fucking rockies.
>Durr only biggest mountain is 4000m
You're a fucking nigger you know that?

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People don't believe in bigfoots

>The next morning searchers found a discarded film box at the point where he had taken a picture
He got nabbed for being a littering asshole.

Well they should have gotten a decent picture of it for fuck's sakes
Sorry user but you are the one that doesn't know how wilderness works.
Wildernesses are congressionally delegated areas in the US, and they have not been a thing forever. Technically they are "managed" by the US Forest Service, but the rules are that machines are absolutely not allowed in wilderness areas, including saws, trucks, etc. Which sounds nice but it really isn't, it means that managing wildfires can be an absolute bitch. Still, firefighters - especially helitack teams and smokejumpers - are regularly sent in to stop fires with hand tools. Which means that yes, there are people working out there. Not to mention wildlife surveyors who are out there regularly.
Besides firefighters, many if not most delegated wilderness areas have been managed in the past. If an area is proposed and accepted to become wilderness, the roads are closed the area is vacated until a massive fire rips through it and destroys it 20 years later. For example, I used to work in the area now known as the Copper Salmon Wilderness in Oregon, and I helped dig tank traps to close the roads when it was delegated. The wilderness immediately to the south has been completely ravaged in two massive wildfires for the last two years leading to a lot of activity in the area, and the Copper Salmon will almost certainly follow in its path.
Learn some fucking forest policy before you start spouting off bullshit.

Me too, and I really liked the Legend of Boggy Creek episode of Joe Bob's Last Drive-In from last summer. I happen to live about a two hour drive from Fauke, and I'm thinking about heading over there just to buy a t-shirt or something. According to Joe Bob, they've got a little cottage industry built up around the Boggy Creek creature.

Stop typing so much at me. I know more about this topic than you ever will, child.

Would be nice to see the story about a group of dogmen terrorizing a family at their ranch in Oregon. They covered it in an episode of Paranormal Witness and it was pretty insane. But there are lots of stories similar to that one, but it's more one on one. The creature will stalk around someone's house and try to get in their house, they'll climb up on the roof. Plenty of crazy shit people say about these things.

thoughts on Bob Gymlan?
I think he is treading the needle pretty well.
I love his Myakka Skunk Ape video.

>people go into the woods sometimes
>therefore the wilderness is on lockdown
That's not how the wilderness works, child.

I grew up in a fairly rural area, with a lot of nature trails and national parks, and I'm not sure why, but the woods have always freaked me the fuck out. It's not even a fear of being attacked or anything, because the largest predators in the area are stuff like coyotes and bobcats, and they steer clear of people for the most part.

t. bigfoot

There's not really a way to prove it I suppose. But having worked in eight states on national forests and seen signs of humanity in the most ridiculous inhospitably brushy and steep shitholes imaginable I find it hard to believe there's anywhere people haven't managed to stumble into.
I think the closest thing we have to "proof" of the completeness of our exploration is that we have a pretty long and detailed list of the largest trees of almost every species in North America. And not only by height, but any metric you could ask for.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_superlative_trees
Fair enough. I've stumbled into some big-ass animals and been very surprised that they were hiding in there. But I would counter with the fact that there a lot of people whose job it is to hang out in the woods in the middle of the night listening to animal and bird calls to document what species are present in an area. Not only that but recording those calls so they can be played over a loudspeaker at a different time to attract more calls. At this point someone would have heard something like Bigfoot is described as sounding like and recorded it.

Yeah it's not like scientist study poop and use the identification to study animal movements and territories all the time.

Nope, learn yourself even a little North American history and be amazed at the thorough extent to which what was once here was destroyed in the 1800s in coast to coast resource extraction. The country was clear cut starting in the 1700s, from coast to coast, and lumber sold to Europe was the biggest economic driver of the country. The trees you now see are the fast growth weed species that pop up after a natural disaster. Locate the map of the Old Growth Forests, and note how tiny the little stands of trees actually are. There’s one near my vacation home. It’s about 300feet by 80feet. The low flat woods on the other side, that looks like no one has ever stood on it, a century ago was a farm, and before that, it was a wetland. Hills were hacked apart to infill the valleys make the farmlands, the refuse was piled mountain high and turned into new hills (like my local ski resort, the entire mountian is an old landfill from the 1950s, now growing over with a forest from a decade of disuse. Wetlands were infilled, the lakes were drained, 30,000 rivers were dammed, the nations fish were dredged and killed off, and replaced by retarded, inbred hatchery fish a century later. Guess how many rivers in this country you can still find wild wish in? Ask a fly fisherman, who live to make a pilgrimage to each of the handful of them still in existence, while the governments sell the rights off fucking even those up to this day. There is nowhere in North America sub-tundra that three centuries of people operating under the belief that “land is worthless until man makes something of it” haven’t had their hands on. They looked at the maps, and specifically went to those places to do it until there were none left.

And that’s ignoring that people lived and thrived on this land remarkably well for 37,000 years only doing about a dozen things total on the scale of that damage. Developing large scale agriculture in the plains, Cahokia, etc

fag
I just typed out like 3 paragraphs explaining that the wildernesses are very active which is the opposite of what your shitpost implies but alright

Delete this.

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>1 person in America is probably paid to camp out at night and record bird sounds
>therefore the wilderness is on lockdown
You're right user, the wilderness is no longer the wilderness once people for any reason spend time in it!

>retarded cityslickers think going hiking in a national park is like going on holiday to Disneyland
>quickly get lost in the woods or hurt themselves because they're retarded cityslickers
>"OMG spooky!"

Just leave Bigfoot and strange disappearances to me

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>That is complete and utter bullshit.
>There's leagues of forest across North America people have just never fucking set foot in.
>Canada even more so.
Beat me to it lol Northern canada is just 1000's of miles of nothing if it was anywhere it would be there and isolated populations in the U.S.

You can't prove what animal a poop belongs to, there's almost no DNA unless you have the animal shit inside a cage for you to gather mucus while it's viable.

>i just typed a whole lot
Of nonsense. Your notions about the world are childlike, your arguments are long winded and intellectually dishonest and I question the integrity of your breeding.

There are 3 temps and 3 permanents that on my forest alone that do it as their regular job, and I've done it several times too along with some other people that just wanted the experience. Why are you so butthurt about this? I'm not saying Bigfoot definitely doesn't exist if that's what you're upset about, just that North America isn't some great unknown like it was 200 years ago.
I just love the woods man, I don't really want to fight.

one of the most talented frauds I've seen
even surpasses daniken imo since he's so stoic in his "I'm just stating facts" spiel and leaves everything to the audience to interpret themselves
and as long as you have an audience that is 80% believer anyways you can just pick out missing innawoods cases and make a good living from it
really admire the guy for how he got himself into the scene

>You can't prove what animal a poop belongs to
They do it all the time to determine the range of species, though. Who am I going to believe, the guys who actually spend their lives studying the range of endangered animals, or the user who wants desperately wants bigfoot to be real?

It's a shame that he's such a great story teller but such a shit writer. Like his radio interviews are compelling but his actual books (which I was excited to read) are terrible. He has the most bland, meandering, and disorganized style I've ever seen. I refuse to believe a competent editor has ever touched his books.

Well, I did too, and I wouldn’t have if I couldn’t tell you’re a fucking idiot talking about shit you know nothing about.

>they do it all the time though
Who is testing random scat samples? Someone looking for bear scat isn't going to package giant sausage link bigfoot turds and bring it in, they already know what they're looking for.

When people did being poop in they couldn't get any DNA from it, so it remains worthless as evidence for bigfoot.

>you desperately want to believe
How is that? And what relevance would it have to the point? Are you just upset that I know more than you? Be smarter.

>There are people here who unironically think Bigfoots (feet?) are real, to the point of taking offence at hearing they aren't.

Well Americans also believe the earth is 6,000 years old apparently.

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why would he hire someone to edit
all the make believe is in the hands of the people buying his books
and again his books won't be reviewed on any serious scientific circles or outdoor fellowships
people who use his material to enforce their already strong believe will buy the book and they are already sold to the idea of something strange
anyhow there's one thing I have never seen him get out of unscarred that is the proposition of people that say mountain lions could simply prey on sole wanderers in the woods
he always dismisses it with "it's not mountain lions" even if the way they find certain bodies strongly indicate a mountain lion attack

What's in a name? A chimp by any other name would eat your face all the same.

>mountain lions are eating hundreds of people every year
That's even more far fetched than bigfoot. Also does nothing to explain the cases of people especially children being found again in impossible areas.

didn't say every case
there's certain cases that people picked out and point towards mountain lions and he just discards it without even elaborating why it couldn't be a mountain lion attack

>Who is testing random scat samples?
Wildlife biologists. It's a wonder you manage to slap these word salads out of your keyboards given how heavy your water head must be.

>in impossible areas
mountain lions carry their prey onto high points to feed that's not that far fetched

Best Bigfoot kino coming through

youtu.be/ezOIj7TMx0k

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Yea, we tried that once before.

>People believe there are parts of the lower 48 that no human being has ever actually seen.

Gee imagine all the bigfeet cities that must be hiding in all those unmapped places!

Guys how will we bag a sasquatch to prove to the world what happened?

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You won't because they're not real.

That's one of the few that creeps me out. There was a song called ''Legend of The Dogman'' that was written by a radio host apparently out of whole cloth, but then people started telling him they'd seen it for real. The creepy thing is, unlike a lot of fiction/fakelore that idiots come to believe (Necronomicon, Slenderman), it turns out that there really WERE documented irl Dogman sightings in Michigan pre-dating that song which the host knew nothing about!

Now obviously, dogmen/werewolves are a common archetype, but that's pretty uncanny.

She wasn't exactly wrong

Then how do you explain all the sightings, genius?

BIGFEET!

>they already know what they're looking for.
They know because next to the bear shit there's bear tracks. If the bear shit was surrounded by bigfoot tracks, or any other sort of tracks, they WOULD bring it in to see what they might learn from it. They do it all the fucking time when studying potentially new animals in remote locations, or when studying the health of animal populations.

drunk rednecks, high hippies and woodsmen having a laugh with plaster foot molds

>especially children being found again in impossible areas.
They're not impossible. People just keep thinking it's impossible for kids(or adults for that matter) to get lost in the woods, panic and run in the wrong direction thinking they'll get out of the woods if they just keep going, and thus ending up "impossibly far away" once their body is found days or weeks later. Except for the cases where the body was just cached by a wild animal, of course.

Are you a woman or a faggot? There's no romance in your heart.

Faggot. There are no women on the internet.

>tfw you'll never go exploring and find a lost city
Fuck bigfoot, who cares about some hairy retard running around hooting in the night. Mysterious and awe-inspiring lost cities are the true prize of exploration.

You dont have to believe in Bigfoot. He believes in you.

But where to find lost city?

I live in a small town of around 5,000 people. I've been wanting to pull off a Bigfoot hoax here for a long time, but I'm not sure what the best way to do it is. I'm thinking to leave tracks around a local lake and walk across the street late at night. Most people have guns here and I'm worried one will shoot me. I might make my friend wear a costume instead of me.

Google Earth, unironically.

>kali yuga
based and hindupilled. cant wait for kalki to be born and wipe out the entire human race

hicks gonna hick user

That's what he said

Would you let her dance on you?

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this poster actually knows what they are talking about.

this user is retarded and doesn't actually know what wilderness is.

get off Yea Forums and fight some fire you 1039

Just watch Pottersville.

He could be right outside your window

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Gave me a good chuckle, well done user

Jesus.
Jamie pull up a picture of a chimpanzee.

you know kali and kaliyuga are different things right?

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>block everyone

Coward. Own that shit

And a ching chong nip nong to you as well Rajesh

And a tyrone in yo mamas pussy to you as well

most based post of 2019

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Lol thanks for that

Guys, are cryptids real? I'm scared. A lot of these stories still arent explained, and the same descriptions popping up among peoples is really scary.

Also, older cultural shit like the chupacabra, how do so many people report shit like that? How did the belief of these fictional monsters even sprsad, youre telling me one guy just make it up? I feel like there has to be some sort of trend, some sort of ground zero that eventually became the creatures we know anf thst led to people believing

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what happened

Dude it's fine

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detroit

Oh yeah I'm very familiar with that song and I've read a few books that go into more history about people seeing it and the YouTube channel Dogman encounters. There's just as many people out there that have seen this thing as there are with Bigfoot but it's also not as familiar to where people give it different names depending on where they're from. So there isn't a general name that binds them all together. The only thing that does is what the people describe. The subject is fascinating, but there isn't much to go on besides the stories people share, there isn't a Patterson film as it's equal to get people thinking that this is the same thing they've all been seeing under the same name. So the information that people have just stagnates until there's a breakthrough. But the stories are really good at least until we get more info about the things

It could be residual memories that we as humans have as a species from when we were hunter gatherers. I like the John Keel theory of an entity fucking with humanity as well.

Fear makes you feel weird things, for a month I had to travel a few miles of highway with no lights by motorcycle everyday, it was just me, the crop fields and my motorcycle, it was 10 minutes of complete darkness at most, I rarely get scared or feel fear but your mind plays tricks on you, I kept seeing shit staring at me as I was passing by, felt things following me around, can't imagine how scary it would be if I had to go through there by foot.

>for a month I had to travel a few miles of highway with no lights by motorcycle everyday, it was just me, the crop fields and my motorcycle, it was 10 minutes of complete darkness at most,
Sounds comfy.

War is hell, old bitch.

>Her anthropomorphizing bullshit made a mockery of science.
Well, it was a good case study of that phenomenon.

GUYS IT'S IN THIS FILM AS A FLASHBACK!
youtube.com/watch?v=JH_STaVvIKI

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you know what
ill create a screenplay and sell it to warner bros

i was watching you from the fields
quietly.
every day.

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Pic related is pretty good.

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I live in the forest, and on a river. The next nearest neighbor that’s not just an empty house is about 22 miles away. That’s just about right for me. Any time I have to go into the city, it’s a filthy zoo of people at their worst, and the desire to get the fuck back out of that miserable artificial man made shitpile is maximal and constant. I pop in to see the ballet or the symphony every month, since I’ve got season tix, but the entire time it just makes my skin crawl that the big poorly constructed, 19th century human hive even exists at all.

If I had to guess, literally not a single person involved in the Bigfoot belief system is anyone other than a dumb fat hick and their only explanation for him not being caught using modern day drones and surveillance is now that Bigfoot is magical/an alien

>Figan, charging and hitting, again and again, the stricken, quivering body of Goliath, one of his childhood heroes. ...[8]
is the whole "childhood hero" thing something she was just projecting on the chimps?

/x/ is always going on about those skinwalkers, they are complete bullshit, they dont exist. Go on and enjoy the woods, even if they did exist why would we bother with you, I wouldn't worry about it.

>we

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>implying you can find bigfoot with a drone when you can't even find cougars and bigfoot is much smarter than a big cat

Well the good news is, when the virus hits, the cities will all die off first, and all at once, so that’ll be your warning shot to stay home and turn on ur in a hepa filter, sit back, and wait for the Chinese cleanup crew to come through.

>begging the question
I find cougars all the time.

Clearly its because the government has been infiltrated by Bigfoot and/or Bigfeet.
All they have to do is shave their excess body hair and they can pass off as an average american and get jobs to help hide their people from technology.

me too, alcoholics anonymous

That's hot.

Those two kids tried to kill classmate because Slenderman told them to do it. What more proof do you need that one man's story spread far enough becomes a gullible person's reality? Just imagine what Slenderman would have become in the age before news, where the story is simply spread from village to village over centuries instead of instantly over the internet.

>/x/ is always going on about those skinwalkers
They're all about retarded tulpas these days, aren't they? /k/ is where you go for innawoods skinwalker stories.

>Goliath
Was the 1980s chimp out kino Project X inspired by this chimp for its Goliath? Mfw Goliath tries to get his final cigarette

This is retarded and obviously fake as shit these miners saw more money in selling the story

If you want the ultimate bigfoot redpill read this

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What are some skinwalker stories?

didn't a hunter kill that bear a few years ago?

The one thing I absolutely believe in are fairies. Those fuckers are definitely real.

My name is Jack, I am a dog, and I am typing this post. Lel.

Sir Doyle pls the picture is fake

That's exactly what a fairy would say.

his interviews on coast to coast are max comfy

if they started to talk my language i'd be surprised he wouldn't wanna be my friend

I have always considered it an ancient urban legend passed along for generations, that may have been true at one point but now that creature is extinct. So the people of 'x' time period heard the legend and either tricked themselves into thinking they witnessed it, or are simply trying to make money. Sasquatch for example being derived from early native americans that may have encountered similar creatures who passed the knowledge along until it became myth. There were giant sloths in the Americas that may have resembled the sasquatch. The Loch Ness Monster could have come from a similar source.

>some sort of ground zero that eventually became the creatures we know
When it comes to bigfoot and other wild men it's simple. When civilisation first began it was localised and it spread slowly with starts and stops. For millennia you had agricultural people staying in one place growing their crops, and then hunter gatherer tribes would show up out of the vast forests, the whole new idea about growing crops having passed them by. And the guys growing crops had no written language, so they had no clue that their recent ancestors used to roam the Earth just like these strangers, as far as they knew they'd always been sedentary and these wild savages were something else. Just like when the plains Indians got access to horses left by the Spanish and their entire culture changed and their mythology changed with it to incorporate the horse right into their creation myths, within just a few generations they started to believe that they'd always had horses, ever since their Gods created them.

These stories of contact between settled civilisations and the remnants of "feral" hunter gatherers filtered through human history into the stories about wild men. We STILL have isolated pockets of hunter gatherers TODAY, there's no hard feat to believe that we had them during the middle ages or the 18th century, continually giving rise to new stories about hairy men in the woods.

Oh bother.

Those assholes have been having street orgies they call parades all month.

ay winnie my man do bears really like honey or is that just a racist stereotype

>see:

Bears love sweets more than you can imagine. Unlike cartoons they will eat those bee hives while getting stung though.

How's Iceland this time of year?

i respect bears a lot more for liking sweets

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Or you could just laugh about the ridiculousness of it, take a shower and join your friends for some leftover pizza and beers against the hangover

I had someone jam a machete in my tent one time. Still not entirely sure if someone was genuinely trying to kill me, but panicked and ran away without checking, or if it was someone pulling a prank.

I have a completed screenplay on it AMA

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Doesn't explain why FOIA requests about certain disappearance cases have been denied due to national security.

Does he like human women?

>us whites
That a euphemism for goblin?

Women do not have any significant speaking roles

>ur job being replaced by outsourcing
>and automation
>and software services
>and cheap immigrant labor if u farm lettuce
>and u support a trillion dollar handout to pad your business class elitist republican CEOs bonus
>and blame liberals for replacing you

lol

>giant conspiracy to keep disappearances hush hush
>don't just make some shit up for the people asking, instead denies them any info and tells them it regards national security
Boy oh boy, it sure is lucky the people in charge of the vast conspiracy are also retards that let us know something's up by not lying to us in some cases.

>tonight you're gonna die, stephen

>Bro you got any rotten food for me to eat?

more like the kids who go missing in the national parks are actually victims of a black op to drain them of their adrenochrome

Source on the gif?

Turns out, little monkey fella

Sounds based to me.

> incident of 1924

hindsight is 20/20, faggot

>stage a black ops disappearance with the easiest plausible deniability excuse ever of "they got lost in the woods and there's no way we'll find the body now because of scavengers"
>fuck it all up by telling people it involves national security
If the conspiracies were true then retarded conspiracy theorists wouldn't know about our work.

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>Also, older cultural shit like the chupacabra, how do so many people report shit like that?
Sightings started the same year the movie Species came out. The first sightings happened before the movie hit theaters, but trailers and posters were around and gave you a gist of what she looked like. Early descriptions match Sil's design.

Abominable. It's Rear Window with Bigfoot.

I think upright walking bears could explain *some* Dogmen sightings. But not Bigfoot sightings.

Nah, turns out teenagers liked to toss pumice stones into the gorge, but they did it one night when they didn't realize there were people still down there.

>the first description of it was in 199FUCKING5
Holy fuck. That means I read about it like five years after the first eyewitness description, but they made it seem like there were decades of eyewitness descriptions all matching up. Every time people mention that thing they make it sound like people started seeing it in the 50s at least, with the government experiment stuff.

I thought it was Mexican legend. Turns out it ain't shit but sick coyotes. Crazy innit?

The date of her research doesn't mean much, given that chimps are notorious for defending their territory extremely aggressively against humans. All she needed to do was to ask the locals about chimps.

>trusting anything a nigger says
user...

>even if they did exist why would we bother with you

It's been 500 years and African Americans can't understand our education system, language or civilisation. Just go back-to-back a series of Atlanta First 48 if you want proof.

lol

Gorillas might havee a similar median IQ with black people, but they don't share their low impulse control, aggression or anti-social behavior problems. Gorillas would probably adapt much better to first world cultures than black people.

am fairy (not gay) can confirm

How do you fight ticks?

With tiny little boxing gloves.

poison your blood

Gorillas are dumber than Blacks, three times as strong and even more impulsive.

>Le monkeys dindu nuffin It ain't war

If I go hiking absolutely wasted, will the ticks just fall off drunk/dead?

Median IQ in sub-Saharan Africa ranges from 60-70, while median African American IQ sits in the 75-80 range. Coco the gorilla was assessed as having an IQ equivalent to 75-85, ergo at least one gorilla is significantly smarter than the typical black person.
More so, Gorillas are well known to be very peaceful and will almost never attack humans or each other, even when it comes to mating rights.

From what we know about gorillas, if we could teach them to do menial labor for rewards, they would literally be more valuable and compatible with civilization than black people.

so fucking cringy

Found the soiboi.

Based sex fantasist

no way they'll show something like that, the sjws would be screaming das raycis

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based retarded american poster

Probably

>t. joe rogan

Median is the middle most number you dumb nigger, it isn't the range.

She was the first one to catalog apes going to war with another like that and all the other ape experts refused to believe her until they also witnessed it from other ape groups.

do you also believe in santa claus?

I know Santa personally and have met him on multiple occasions. Haven't you?

Damn those flying bigfoots!

>the bigfoots have allied with the ayy lmaos
It's over guys. How are we supposed to compete with that?

>median, is the most common number, not the 'middle number' (that's average). Read a book, nigger.
>Read a book
Oh the fucking irony. Here's a little help with your math homework, kid: mathsisfun.com/median.html

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>he got so embarrassed at looking stupid that he deleted his post

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In grad school, we were handed scraps of Goodall's writings as a warning to not get overly attached to whatever you're examining.

I know it was a shitty thing they did but was it necessary to refer as those afroamericans as apes?

It was in Washington but mostly lost after the my saint Helen eruption

nah you'd be pissed, don't deny it

>they never found Noah
He wasn't alone out there.

Koko understanding language is a lie.
The whole "water bird " thing was misinterpreted.
Koko would just cycle through hand signals till her trainer relaxed, and would would make mistakes too often t be considered language admit. Her language was little better than reflex tricks
There is a reason the national science board stopped funding animal language research decades ago

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>it's mostly kids or seniors
Do you want me to redpill you?
People lie
They feel (or are, sometimes even in a legal sense) responsible for what went down.
No, your kid was not right next to you and then VANISHED
It was down by the creek, bullying the local fauna and you thought you will have 10 minutes of peace from the little brat but when eventually went to check on it some animal had carried it away, you just cant come to terms with it
No, greatgrandpa was not right next to you either
You were forced to accompany the old fart and keep an eye on him under moral pressure, because he couldnt accept it was too dangerous to wander innawoods on his own at his age. It was a chore, and you left him on his mushroom picking adventure and took a hike and would come back to pick him up but Mrs Cougar picked him up first
No blood, no body- textbook feline kill
When an adult is involved on the other hand people tell the truth, they dont feel morally responsible
>Dave wanted to check a vantage point and was separated, he went that way
>Find Dave within 24 hours fallen over some cliff because Dave was a dumbass
>End of story

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This is some planet of the apes tier shit

>hand over the honey and no one gets hurt

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That was way sadder than I thought it was going to be.
You can totally see from the far away footpaths how people would mistake that for a warewolf, Bigfoot, etc. remember the brain fills in visual information, like when you see a book on the floor in a weird shadow and think it is a rat or something

Don't forget the DINGO ATE MAH BABY ordeal, where people STILL think she did it just because they can't change their minds. Due to shit like that people are scared shitless about mentioning anything that might incriminate themselves.

>remember the brain fills in visual information
I won't even look in the mirror when going to the bathroom in the night, because I've got mirrors on each side and I just fucking know that in my half-asleep state the refraction will end up showing me something terrifying behind me for a split second, making me fully awake. I don't understand people who fully trust their eyes in low-light conditions, or their brain to interpret it 100% correct.

Thank you for your contribution based wll cultured, user