Wake up from coma

Go door to door and sniff panties

see if the internet is working so i can shitpost
if not walk to the grocery store to see of theres any food
if theres electricity and running water i'd probably do nothing until they stopped
if theres no electricity/water then i'd go find some bottled water and a gun
hammer a bunch of nails into a baseball bat, and take a couple of knives for protection until I can find a gun

fpbp

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I wouldn't even notice for weeks.

me? i'dris elba

Finally, I don't have to pay for cigs and whiskey
also rape

Straight to the gun store. I'm /k/

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Be sad about no internet. Try and find solar charges and laptops and cell phones so I can see who stored porn.

>gun store
>london

take a massive shit
take a massive piss

Rape

>yfw all the liquor stores have been looted and/or vandalised and there's no stock left

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tumblr tier shitpost

I have absolutely no survival skills or instincts except from what I picked up from pic related, so I guess I'd just find a car with fuel or a supermarket cart, loot whatever I find relevant and take the road to another city

If there were decent-looking female zombies around I can totally see myself trying to tie one down to fuck and getting killed in the process, because my incel horniness would overcome any sense of reason I have eventually

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Probably kill myself

this. explore I guess

> walks into empty grocers, packs tinned food
> lols to himself taking all the Mars bars- his fav
> gets a skinmag and a fistful of Franklin's from the tills (just in case)
> eating a Mars bar he kicks in the front door of a skyscraper
> climbs on to the roof
> looks around for any signs of life
> damn? what's that? the sun reflecting off glass over on that hill 3 miles away
> hold on
> it's a vehicle
> it's moving this way
> looks like I'm not the only one who made it
> time to acquire weapons

rape female survivors

take a shit

thanks

plenty of females around, just watch out for the teeth

Run to the nearest barn. Earn the trust of a mare,
Fuck that mare.

My town in the midlands has a gun shot. It's named 'Town Gun Shop'.

compulsively masturbate if past experience is to be believed

My town in the midlands has a gun shop. It's named 'Town Gun Shop'.

Fap

Go to pharmacy and steal every single opioid and amphetamine I can get my hands on. Actually any narcotic I could find. I'd hit all the pharmacies, then grab some supplies from the local supermarket and go get high as fuck for days on end in some apartment or something

>internet down
>no cable or television
>no downloaded porn
>no electricity
>no porn mags
what do?

High IQ

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Huff paint thinner instead

Try to contact my family.

Up until a few years back there was one in Twickenham.

Barricade self. Then explore/scavenge. Keep a journal to keep sane. Find a dog companion because A Boy and His Dog, I Am Legend, Fallout and Twilight Zone's The Hunt told no lies.

Erotic etchings.

>gun store
>london
plenty of those in London, there is also a shooting range with dozens of types guns

londonguncompany.co.uk

williamevans.com/products/gun-room/london-guns-in-stock/

rwardgunmakers.com

raid a pharmacy and go out feeling good

Find the hottest female zombie I can find, capture it, chain it and keep cumming on its face.

fuck all because my muscles would have atrophied

based fat user

based family user

I guess I would still spend the majority of my time in this god forsaken site talking to myself until I become insane

Go home.
Hop on Yea Forums.

Oh no, deserted. No females to have sex with. Oh wait...

You already do that

Roo roo roo roo roo rooooo roo rooooo

Acquire weapons and start killing my only real competition/threat; other uninfected humans.

Go to the nearest subway and make myself the biggest sub ever.

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fantasy
>explore the city, eat all the junk food left, play with weapons, loot sex shops, learn to farm
reality
>find a gun and kill myself

Have sex

get naked

Can't let the perishables go to waste.

dog fights and whiskey

find a nice bicycle and put racks and bags on it

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true Yea Forums post

Rape

Underrated post.

based

Nigga u feel me?

I SAID NIGGA DO YOU FEEL ME???????

If there were no zombies Id strip bare naked and fuck every mannequin in the city.

Based Midul poster

Be thankful the Apocalypse happened prior to everything becoming digital.

Take a shit on the nearest female, alive or otherwise.

open doors with ominous messages

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based fellow twickanon

>Huff paint thinner instead

Bam Margera posts on Yea Forums?

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So what's the deal with the uptick in NotZombies in cinema & television over the past decade?

Raid the stores for all the beef tenderloin and single malts I can fit in my van.

Rape

Go to my local gunshop and take a PTR-91, Mark 23, and their full auto mp5 for myself and using all the other guns on the range. Set up rifle golf holes (golf but with guns and steel targets for holes) at all the golf courses. Sleep wherever I want with my camping hammock. Survive off perishables in grocery/convenience stores until they begin to rot. Steal a big 4door truck when I get bored of city, load it up with supplies and hit the road.

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Find a truck and go door to door raiding laundry baskets

Damn, Bam...

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probably overdose on some drugs
i'm scared of being alone and i've never tried a drug in my life

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go to a few banks

>go to the nearest gym
>go into the womens locker room
>find all their dirty panties and socks
>SNIFFFFFFFF
>and lick

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download as much porn as I can and fap until I die like that Brazilian kid

Your a gaylord

>go living on a farm

youtube.com/watch?v=VVnz6hlC3pQ

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It’s not that interesting I promise you

Go into peoples houses and masturbate to their kids baby pictures.

Eight hour tours of graveyards will do that.

Hence the word still IDIOT

>finding fitting shoes
>a working fm radio and some batteries
>a flashlight
>a knife and something i can use as a bat