Confess

i've never watched the sound of music or mary poppins

Very rarely do I watch films, I don't watch tv at all.
I come here now and again when I am drunk to post Kat Dennings threads and maybe shitpost a little.

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I am Spiderman

I want to kill myself.

I constantly laugh and nod to references people make of movies I haven't seen just to avoid
>YOU HAVEN'T SEEN X????

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pretty sure it's her birthday today
make a thread I'll bump it

I did earlier, but someone else made another thread just now

I changed my last name to Sneed.

Ia Cthulhu f'thagn

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based

If you're vomiting blood while posting on Yea Forums that probably means it's not too serious yet. Could be that you have an ulcer or a Mallory Weiss Tear if you're experiencing any severe pain right now

I cried while watching Bridge to Terabithia.
I was 18.
Partly because I realized I'm done for.
I was right.

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I'm a bit annoyed, I deleted all the images on this computer so I'm having to build them up again, I had quite a few good webms of kat

i've never watched citizen kane but when normies ask me what my favorite film is it's always my answer

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. Ilyaa ep n'ghft nnnathg vulgtm, kn'a mnahn' hrii h'R'lyeh sll'ha R'lyehoth ilyaaor h'kadishtu uaaah.

I found out my wife is cheating on me but i don't do anything about it because i am too tired to start over at this point.

I think I had a slight heart attack the other day, I was going to pick up some aspirin in case it happened again because its meant to give you enough time to find a doctor

I thought if it did happen again I probably wouldn't bother so left them

hopefully if it happens again I'm lying down and not out anywhere and can passout LOL

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Jesus

>tfw never had a middle school romance
I spent my whole childhood online

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You could have done both.

I fapped twice today

I just want to die

life has no meaning and your dreams are pointless

I think I have nerve damage in my penis

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I have awful taste in films, I know this, yet I relentlessly belittle and bully people who have what I claim to be subpar taste

>could have done
Every thought I have starts with that

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Start now user

This is a very good confession. Do you think you'll ever get caught out?

I'm the user who had slept with Brie Larson

I have systematically shit palmed almost every object in my boss' office.

Who is suppressing your willpower user?

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I'm a disney capeshit investor

Not necessarily true. Just keep doing what you're doing and tweak where you've gone wrong. Baby steps user.

Did she try to touch you with her feet?

I haven't watched a single movie made in this decade

Don't worry, you didn't miss much. I had gf for 4 years during high school, i broke up with her recently. Just as high school ended. Now i just fucked up my uni exams so i have to go to another uni and try again next year. It was nice having a gf but the emotional baggage that came after the break up is too much for me.

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>Ia Cthulhu f'thagn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh Yng'wie Mal'mst'een my brother

Nothing wrong with this, you’re doing God’s work son

Dad accidentally drank my piss bottle and vomitted

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I open threads, pick a random user, type "have sex", "t. roastie" or "t. tarantino fanboy", then close the thread.

I also samefag my own opinion and ridicule other anons with multiple replys to make it seme that the general thread opinion favours me. When called out I do "inspect element", remove a (you), screencap and post it as "proof"

i bought a load of dvds and blu-rays and got even more free from work hand outs when i was in the film industry, literally have about a thousand of the things
now i own a house and have a different job i have struggle to find the time to actually watch any of them
ive tried to sit down and watch a film and all i can think is i need to do house stuff, i need to be up early tomorrow, got a 2hr meeting which means less time to do actual job, do i need to pay bills and so on
and then the weekend comes along and all i do is wake up, get on computer and shit post for 2 days till i pass out sunday night and begin it all over again monday

I'm the bonbiposter

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I don't even watch movies anymore. The only things I've watched this year are Game of Thrones, Avengers Endgame, and The House That Jack Built.

I want to be a director but I don't go to film school I just go to the movies.

Based

That was before the Kong fungus fiasco. And no, I'm not into feet.

no I'M the bonbiposter!

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I'm unironically a celeb who lurks and shitposts here for my amusement.

im a 28 year old boomer

reveal yourself through a heavy-handed hint!

what is the point of this skag? fucking zoomers, I am out of touch I swear.

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>gif
are you from 2010?

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I'm not a licenced priest

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her face is going to look like shit in a few years due to all of her over emoting, look at Jim Carrey.

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The Rock was my favourite movie as a teenager

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I'm a 30 year old boomer

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I didn't like Waterloo (1970) very much

I''m a big fan. Keep up the good work, Bill!

OY GUVNAH THIS CUNT OVER HERE DONT AVE HIS PRIEST LOICENSE WIV HIM!

When I was younger I made fun of wageslaves who didn't have any mental energy left to watch "real" films, and now I'm the wageslave who watches pure trash to distract myself from my shitty life.

i haven't watched any tv or film in years i only come here for waifu threads

Wow she's so soft

Not me

Thanks!

that makes it sooo much worse, kys and soon!

NOOOOOOOO STOP POSTING BONBI

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who is your waifu? mine is pic related.

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I’m black and sneak weed into the backpacks of my white classmates to get them in trouble as revenge for slavery. this is not a LARP.

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nigga you just giving them free weed

No surprise there, you lot are known for your low cunning and treachery.

But most of them are descended from immigrants who came to the US after 1865?

noni

a real negro would know whites don't get in trouble for weed

I deliberately avoid movies that are trendy even if they're good.

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>noni
her name is mary

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>be white
>randomly find free weed in my bag
thanks for the gift nigger

CLASSIC post.

I got my first Reddit gold today. I guess I am one of them now.

I like gifs because you can click and drag them
so FUCK YOU

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Go to sleep, wake up and then leave her and never speak to her again.

nothing wrong with that

I've found an old video tape that appears to show my girlfriend being sexually abused as a pre-teen by a guy I'm almost certain is her dad.

I have no idea what the fuck I should do and somehow I think asking for advice in this cesspool of autism will help. Hell, it can't make things worse.

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thanks for the weed

he's probably an apple nigger

I lost my virginity with my sister and even though she's now married we usually fuck once or twice a month - sometimes even more when her husband is either on business trips or when he can't satisfy her - and we always end up having good to great sex. The emotional attachment is pretty unique and the whole thing feels just natural. Sure when you are in the climax and someone slips a "I love you" it feels weird but it's pretty amazing. We usually fuck on thursday nights because her husband is playing footy with his mates and on sundays, after the family lunch.

omg are you me?!

Superior blonde cutie coming through.

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Batman Forever (1995) is the last good Batman film, though its pacing is off and needed to be an hour or so longer.

I prefer Amy

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Give it to the police anonymously then get your gf in therapy.

Fap to it
Blackmail his father for stuff
Go to the plice when you feel he thinks is cheaper to kill you than keep buying you stuff.

the fuck are you talking about

Shatner would never use a faggy word like "unironically."

what's your top 5

I've probably watched Mean Girls more than any other movie.

no

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How the fuck did you even find it?

well to be fair, I don't think any movie has watched Mean Girls

Maybe.

I haven't watched most of Hollywood except for capeshit. And I'm not that crazy about films except for capeshit

i haven't watched a movie or show since endgame. I'm just here for the memes.

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post it

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Story?

strangely fascinating nails
wonder if they're fake

I'm a redditor.

lookup cps address in your area , while wearing gloves type a letter naming the parties involved. send in package from a usps drop box.

Based

I have industry connections and I've had the benefit of joining up on a casting couch, though not with popular actresses

so you have to eiffel tower them or do you get some solo action?

I kept a hidden cam in the bathroom to Capture video of my 19 year old daughter. Jerked off to the video and then deleted it and threw the sd card and spy cam in a lake.

Both!

Bruh, why not just bathe with her?

I'm a total failure.

kys

Possibly a panic attack.

Which lake

so far, I've gotten 3 students in trouble by doing this.

I stole like 8,000$ of computer equipment from my last "real job". The statute of limitations is over now.

I never told anyone and no one figured out it was me.

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State park about 35 miles away.

Most based post here.

I once stole a whole box of parmesan cheese packets from a pizza place I worked at

chris?

I worked at Burger King in college and stole a whole crate of whopper patties.

I've started dreaming about Sneed. I think I need to get off Yea Forums for a while.

I fucked threes girls this sumner so far and im lookibg to meet a fourth

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im so fucking horny and lonely ahhh

Fuck off CIA

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Nigger that's just palpitations( probably caused by anxiety)

I was helping her parents clear out their basement and found a box of old tapes which. I was going to throw them out but a few days later I decided to watch them to make sure I wasn't throwing out home movies. Mostly it was old recordings of movies from TV but I found one that most certainly wasn't.

It's more the fact that she hasn't ever told anyone, let alone me. I'm worried she might not even remember or would not consider it abuse. She has three other siblings as well and they're a really tight knit family. I don't want to risk tearing them apart without making sure I'm right first. Even if it wasn't him, someone had been doing it to her.

Based

I only watch movies and tv to distract me from my thoughts

I go to church just to hit on barely legal girls as nd married women. The women there are all so desperate. I'm basically atheist but it's so easy to pretend and fool everyone it's almost just worth it for that alone.

How was she like in the sack?

gross lad youre going to hell
are you a yank? here is england i'm lucky to get a decent lass at church who is anywhere near my age

Don't believe in hell so yeah ok.

Yeah I got to a sort of local mega church. Over 100,000 members. Their all either closet degenerates or outright schizo boomers.

yikes
not even real Christians, have fun chief

this
ironic, really.

This
Those people barely qualify as Christians at all, guarantee all those barely legals aren't virgins at all.

>barely legal
>not jailbait

AMATEUR.

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Ok guys, let's not be mean. There are a lot of good, pious people who don't know any better that go to megachurches.

ok, so?
there's a incredibly larger number of people who only go to mega churches to say they went to church so they can feel good

I'm just saying if he's looking for the real catches, he'll need a more traditional church. If he's just flirting, he can flirt with the hoes he'll find at a megachurch literally anywhere else.

I AM THE FUCKING BONBI POSTER
but I only post in garbage threads because I don't want to mess with the rare good threads on Yea Forums

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My boss's daughter has a crush on me and I'm in serious danger of falling for her myself.

This wouldn't be a problem, were it not for the fact she's 13.

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ask your boss for permission to marry her when she is of age?

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the "religious woman that falls into sin" fetish is so fucking hot
shame pornstars are too dumb to act anything out properly
i'll just have to make due with 2D

fuck you, stop bragging