Character goes to the bathroom

how in the FUCK are you supposed to use that? Wouldn't your ass be sopping wet afterwards? you'd need to use a towel before you could pull your pants back up

i don't think that sink meets the Americans with Disabilities Act requirements

>character goes to the bathroom
>doesn't wash their ass in the shower and stomp any shit down the drain

your ass is much closer to the start of the spray so it's not all spread out from gravity pulling it back down

that photo was taken with low power to not make a mess, the water jet is usually much more powerful and only wets your anus pretty hard, after that you use toilet paper to dry, that should look completely clean.

must look something like this

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that's what I was thinking too

Wait. I bought bidet of Amazon and attached it to my toilet.
Are you saying that a real bidet is a separate device, you have to get off the shitter for, hope nothing falls down, and move over to the bidet and sit again? What in the fuck?

how is your poop supposed to flush down that sink drain? does french cuisine make your poo straight liquid 100% of the time?

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they right next to each other, really easy if you're not super drunk or obese

You don't poop in the bidet. You poop in the toilet and then move to the bidet to clean up

I just use a Toto washlet like a civilized person tho

>character takes a piss
>washes their hands
Who does this?

what's a bidet? some kind of french shit?

You bought a washlet.
Yes a bidet is traditionally a separate fixture entirely

not french, standard here in argieland and other latin countries I guess, and it's onlt tiny nuggets that go with the water

it's a joke. they're not real.

guys you shouldn't have that much shit on your asshole after a poop

A bidet is considered a key green technology and uses significantly less water, electricity, and wood than a single roll of toilet paper.

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>actually having seats

I stayed at a place in Italy where everything was just a giant version of a painter's trough. Looked mussie as fuck.

The papermaking process is a ridiculous waste of water for some reason.

this is mine
looks way better

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My fellow Americans, I know you are mocking bidets because they are foreign, but they are genuinely fantastic. Used one every time I shat on vacation, for the life of me I don't understand why Americans dont't have them, we can actually afford them

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Can I get the water to penetrate my anus for a deep clean?

>exposed sprayer
>cost more
no thanks

I just can't fathom how making my asshole wet will make it easier to put my pants on then to just wipe. I'd use a bidet before a shower, though. That sounds nice. Just a nice sphincter massage, and wash out the dried up shit that became liquid from my swamp ass again.

just an extra toilet with hot/cold water connections, I use always cold even in winter to prevent hemorrhoids tho.

Just push your rectum open and let the water do its work

also useful for women to stay clean in those sauce days, is actually designed to sit facing the wall for that.

Bidets are fucking retarded.

happens if you relax enough

t. crusty ass murrican

You gotta waddle over to that thing with all that muck caked between yer yams? Christ.

When I was a kid people told me this was for washing your feet

This creation is up there with Timothée Chalamet, pretentious and gay

>Bidget
What the fuck, why would I wash poop into a weird sink. That would be pretty gross having to clean that thing.

based retard

Americans literally walk around with shit in their ass.

t. literally can't wipe his ass
Just use wet wipes, only faggots like water sprayed up their ass.

I just use the super expensive, super thick Charmin ultra, get a few squares and wet it under the sink and it functions like a wet wipe

Wtf is that?

I wipe and then wash my ass in the shower

bidets are gay gommunism user

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recently(last year or so) i've developed a habit of putting toilet paper up my ass and shitting it back out to really clean it out. i used to make the rookie mistake of jamming it up with a finger, but i've gotten a technique where i can control my muscles to sort of gobble it back into my rectum using minimal assistance, i also noticed that dry toilet paper works as a finisher, wet toilet paper works as a good starter, and wet wipes are just pleasant luxuries. it's quite exquisite but wet wipes are expensive and bad for plumbing. also i'm fairly certain i have an anal fissure or a tear in lower intestine but i can't stop and i think i'm also gay

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I don't care even my farts smell so good.

well, do you wanna fuck or get fucked by dudes?

How does anyone let this happen?

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Thank you for your post

not particularly i just dont see any girl willing to shove something up my ass, probably get some prison gays to

>cant go shit in public bathroom because of PTSD
Every time I see a bathroom door opened that isn't mine, I start to sweat.And what I mean is PTSD Is like I'm afraid of a public toilet

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>character finally shown using the toilet
>doesnt turn around and take a photo
>doesnt take a deep whiff to verify its healthiness
>doesnt take a sample to test for blood content
>wipes

what the fuck is wrong with hollywood, it's like they're not even human.

Medications + Processed foods = Shart

fucking euro faggots needing to wash their anuses so their gay boyfriends dont get shit on their dicks when they fuck em up the ass, fucking degenerates

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First of all, you mean toilet yes? Saying bathroom is for wannabe ladies or something.
Second, get a shower after the shit.
Be real and do the right things.

Elongated toilets are god tier.

>wash your whole body after you take a shit

youtube.com/watch?v=P9wbWvFiGFI

I never knew how to use it yet every house has one. I though is was to clean feet or sonething

My bidet.
>t. American

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>french
French people don't use bidets

It even has a handy remote.

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I'm going to get a shower anyway so do the logical thing. Making a shit puddle that spreads shit drops all around my cheeks isn't a good way of going about things.
It's mere hassle hovering wiping up shit puddle residue with what? Toilet paper, so there is mushy toilet paper to contend with in that scenario. Get in the shower get a wash ffs.

>Making a shit puddle that spreads shit drops all around my cheeks isn't a good way of going about things.
It doesn't work like that

>not forcing your shit out so fast that the splash-back washes your anus

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this but unironically

Bidets just spread more shit around your ass region desu. The water just helps redistribute the particles over a greater area. I'll take strictly toilet paper any day. And anyone who isn't an animal usually takes a shit before they shower to be able to get it extra clean. If I do end up going more than once in the day or it happens to come after that days shower I will usually just hop in and take another one or just clean my ass. Feel pretty gross without doing so

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t. goes around with his ass full of shit

How does it actually fucking work you asshole

Anyone who isn't an animal would use a bidet

Can someone seriously tell me how that works? I thought bidets were under the seat and just sprayed water up?

they take a medication that stops them from absorbing fat
they still consume fat, so it runs through their digestive system, the fat is, well, fat so its well lubricated and slips out the crack
Not sure how they don't feel it regardless, maybe they just think its butt sweat?

This. The only proper solution is the inline sprayer that’s built into the toilet seat. Or one of those hand held spray nozzles connected to a hose. I have one at home. Don’t even need special plumbing, just T straight off the toilet water supply line.

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Post pics of how it works please

I just use wet wipes.

You can’t flush those

Was the remote not clear? It has a little nozzle that extends and retracts.

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my anus has not been trained to tighten itself with anal penetration

most bidets are like that, OPs pic is some weird faucet type that looks uncomfy af

filthy americans, do you really wipe your ass with paper only?

Enjoy hemmorhoids and clogging up your citys sewage system

Here is where the nozzle extends.

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I know that part I'm talking specifically about the type in OP. How does that kind work?

Reminder: if you have long snake like turds, that means you’re secretly a faggot and you crave anal sex. Poop should be smaller chunks

i just wet the toilet paper and clean my ass with it

You stick the nozzle up your asshole. Usually it's so clogged with shit and other residue from people before you that the pressure isn't nearly that strong.

that can't happen

lol Eurofags have such lust for taking it up the ass that they even ask their toilets to do it

Bidets are a right fucking pain. Takes forever to squish the turds down the tiny hole.

i just walk out into the hall and scooch my asshole along the carpet like a dog

The water stream would hit the small footprint of the shit hole, where does that water go? Directly down like magic or does it make the area larger by default? Now you have a larger area of crap. How are you you literally will mostly have a residue of turd in a lager area by that method.
Does soap get involved? so now you're messing around with soap, how are you drying up? Bog roll? A crap towel? Who the fuck would have a crap towel instead of just getting your daily shower after the turd?

how does this thing clean your poopy ass? i think eurogays just like getting blasted up the asshole

I just wipe with toilet paper as well as I can, wet my hand and rub it on a bar of soap before shoving it right up my ass, rinsing my hand and re-soaping it to repeat the process to make sure my ass is clean. Then I wash my hands well with hand soap and water, maybe dry/wipe my ass with a little more toilet paper but generally that's not necessary. If I'm not at home I carry wet wipes with me to clean out my ass instead. It is pretty gross doing that sort of thing but otherwise I'd only wash my ass out in the morning when I shower and a shitty asshole is absolutely disgusting, you can smell it from a mile away.

This makes zero sense to me. I don't understand how this would clean your butt. I'm 100% serious right now.

>Shit
>Wipe with baby wipes
>Hop in the shower and only clean your ass with soap + water
>hop out

It's not that hard and you'll feel so much fresher all day. I don't know how I lived using just toilet paper as a kid.

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keep us posted user

i do this as well.

wouldn’t the poop water spray off your ass all under/over the seat? Also drip drown the underside of your thighs, creep up your shirt, etc.?
I understand from the poop wastebasket you can’t flush toilet paper but it still seems a terrible system

Same. I don't always have wet wipes but they are nice. Is it really bad to flush the ones that say flushable? Why do they advertise the ability to flush when they are still not safe?

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>Is it really bad to flush the ones that say flushable?
Yes
>Why do they advertise the ability to flush when they are still not safe?
To increase sales?

If you are not using wet wipes at the very least you are guaranteed walking around with a shit stain

Post webm of you using it, include slowmo's and close ups

Not me. Only stain is from blood since I wipe till the white sheet goes from brown to red.

i only shit once per day in the morning before i shower.