Is Keanu the new Jesus?

>I LOVE KEANU HE IS SO DOWN TO EARTH MY FAVORITE ACTOR!!!!

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He fucked a tranny
Or maybe got fucked, who knows

It depends on who is doing it. Is it a chad who can fuck the girl he's hoverhanding without a problem? Based

Going to start doing the graceful presenting hand

How do I not get laughed at by doing it?

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his to-be married gf died, he doesn't touch other women to keep her memory pure.

kek that webm.

You're breathtaking user.

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It's tough having Asperger's, isn't it?

>He has also spoken of his English ancestry, mentioning watching comedy shows such as The Two Ronnies during his childhood, and how his mother imparted English manners that he has maintained into adulthood.

Shame she didn't teach him how to do a good English accent while acting lmao.

He starred in a film with Alex Jones, Keanu is based and Red pilled, literally.

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>The Two Ronnies

kino.

Hoverhand has become a normalfag meme so people started doing it on purpose

>hover hand is now a good thing
AHHHHHHH MAKE UP YOUR MIND

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I’d find it insulting if a man hover handed me, it’s weird. I don’t blame guys really, I blame femitards and the scraggy whores behind the metoo debacle.

CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL

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jones was in a scanner darkly? im downloading right now.

Don't be insulted, roastie. Why should he take the risk based on an assumption that you might be one of the 10% that aren't yet insane in this department?

there is no hand

I do not remember alex in this at all

this, people have spent years making fun of people who did that

Pic of you

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Men touching women is sexual assault

Jennifer Lawrence for boomers, with the talent to match..

HE WONT EVEN TOUCH ME
OH MY GOD YAAAAAAS

Its just random shit people make up as they go, and most people are opportunists. Dont take it too seriously

Like clockwork, now that press lifts most of their nonnews from social media and Keanu is America's sweetheart, contrarians here will turn against him with their reddit, wojack and basedposting.

>Did I miss the memo or something?

yes the MeToo memo where woman falsely claim to be traumatized because some celebrity hugs them after they ask for a picture. he could just keep his hand at his side but then it might look like it was behind her touching her butt and some thot would try to sue him. So the way he does it his hands are visible but not touching her.

If you are fat, ugly and a loser, then you are a beta user, But if you are rich, good looking and popular your an alpha gentleman.

He's already said that he really really likes women so I don't know why you would say something like that.

>begone thot trying to steal my virginity

Reddit and assorted drone media are shilling this bland fuck every day now. I really couldn't give less of a fuck about Keanu he's a boring guy and not that attractive desu, sure he's way above average but among moviestars he's low tier. Did I mention boring as fuck. Go back to Rdit Keanufags and shills

Like clockwork, the cringy dickriders show up to defend the honor of their depressed meme actor and his one blank expression in every film he's in

He just doesn't want to get #metoo'ed

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Keanu is the ultimate kino God.

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Are you a paid publicist because this spam is just tiring. Fuck off keanunigger

#MeToo (PoundMeToo) happened

Is it possible.... that based Keanu is a virgin....... JUST LIKE ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

At least when they spam Emilia Clarke or Akita there's eye candy. Spamming Keanu is just irritating

I don't know but it's fucking weird, my gf is obsessed with him out of nowhere despite not knowing any of his movies. I asked if she wanted to watch the matrix since he's in it and she unironically thought it was a movie from the 80s.
Social media is a meme.

>Emilia Clarke
>eye candy
nasty faggot

Asking a man to pose with his hands visible and open to prove he's not molesting people, is akin to asking a black person to provide receipts to prove what they have on them isnt stolen.

He fucked a tranny

Can't blame him for wanting a piece of that juicy Shaq sausage

Keanu has once again submitted himself to the limelight and people are socializing around it, with all their memes and fun, you're girlfriend is simply being involved in social life by joining the ongoing party

>Pound
Holy shit boomer detected

fucking kys my man. you're no different from a normie redditor. you follow actors on social media and watch flavour of the month capeshit. Reeves and Gosling literally can't act and yet you slurp up their cum because you're a memelord. fucking pathetic.

that juicy shaq meat

>some virgin does it
lmao look at this loser
>a celebrity does it
wow he's so pure!

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Stick to wojaks mate.

He just want to get BLACKED by Shaq

cringe

>my gf
nobody cares faggot

Keanu wouldn't dream of soiling his god hands by touching the cesspool that is women.

>YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

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YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

he's holding a cig in the picture on the right

always do the opposite of what women say

Normies are so easily amused..
That said, I’ve always been a fan of Keanu and I hope this sudden trend brings him happiness

Don't you think the hype surrounding him is a little absurd user? I like the guy but he's been reduced to a parading monkey.

Anything that isn't hoverhand is now sexual assault.

>dont rape me

He looked like he was having fun at E3, people sperged out like monkeys when he got on stage and he we laughing unsure how to handle them and procede with his prewritten speech but in the end he did a good job, the dude is real as fuck.

Keanu is a pretty cool guy,he travels through time and doesn't afraid of anything.

YOU'RE ALL BREATHTAKING

high powered actors with millions of dollars refuse to even touch a woman because they will be accused of rape.

The feminist have won

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when keanu does = omg what a gentleman!

When i used to do this as a teenager = omg lmaooo hover hand loser hahahaha

youtu.be/LFeoR3DvdXw (bad acting in The Neon Demon)

youtu.be/moaW8LRusak (bad acting in Dracula)

youtu.be/V26_aT_WZ_4 (bad acting in a movie that I've not seen)

youtu.be/NmHPIPcX3W0 (Mad tv making fun of how bad of an actor he is)

NO!

>new

I wish somebody would call me breathtaking...

All this dick sucking is gonna eventually lead to backlash, and poor Keanu doesn't deserve it

cringe desu

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YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

You did it because you were insecure and afraid of touching a woman. You were also probably unwanted. With Keanu, those women actually want him to touch them, he just doesn't because he's smart and Chad

his mouth open real wide lmao dude

So this is how Thor got so fat in Endgame, he looks like he just won the fucking lottery here with the longest piece of licorice in Asgard.

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vocaroo.com/i/s0EkDdSP8xuN

>keanu is awesome and wholesome
>he's likable and handsome but still an introvert just like me
>I may have not experienced any hardship other than being extremely online and getting rejected by girls but he's literally me!
No faggot, we're just making fun of you.

>They screech about Pence
what the fuck does some closet homo cultist have to do with anything?

YOU’RE BREATHTAKING

no he was in Waking Life. Which Keanu wasn't in. Pretty sure is incorrect.

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Think Keanu is a cool guy? Think again.
>In October 2001, Keanu Reeves met with the families of 9/11 victims. After a brief interview in which he expressed his condolences and hope for closure, he reportedly burst out laughing and made airplane noises and mimicked two planes crashing. He then picked up the child of a deceased victim and whispered into her ear "Your dad's dead, bitch", and proceeded to put on a pair of sunglasses and unleash a barrage of martial arts attack on the small child. She was rushed to the hospital where she was pronounced dead due to extreme trauma. When asked later about the incident, Reeves became visibly sexually aroused and repeated the same attack on the reporter.
>In 1991 during the filming for 'Point Break' Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm in front of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean.

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stuff like this makes me fear for him. these vapid normies like nothing more than tearing a hero down after they've built him up.
LEAVE KEANU ALONE, YOU'RE JUST FOSTERING HIS LONELINESS WITH THIS OPEN WORSHIP

Alex Jones was in both

>If only you knew how bad things really are

I'm attractive enough to pull 99% of the top tier women ud see on the street when combined with a modest salary. Yesterday a girl I wasnt firting with or attracted to in the least shoehorned in mention that she has a boyfriend in literally the second sentence she said to me. I wasnt doing anything other than joking around about how i come to that establishment too often and bitch wasn't even on my radar. Her particular brand of narcissism is fairly common among women here.

this, holy shit, i'm fucking tired of the contrarian nature of the zoomers here. everything they don't agree with they post a wojak with open mouth. god i hate you fucking dumb niggers and your stupid new memes. i blame r*dit. the solution is anyone under 25 dying

i don't care what you think but i would grab dolly parton with the force of a thousand suns

It's really anyone under 30. The 25 thing is a meme from when the 00s poster were first invaded by tourists and transplants.

Based

you sound very jaded on top of the attractiveness, it's probably why you attract the worst of them

i blame social media and zoomers

>implying he was not jesus in one of his past lives

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How quickly we forget

which PR team is the one that makes all these Keanu and Brie threads?
its really kicked up in the last few months

I assure you I'm not based but u might have a point at least as far as appearance goes. And yes my friends have pointed out I have a unique gift for attaining the most desired ones who often are the bane of our fellow anons. That said, this bitch wasn't attractice at all to me. Just trying to make friendly conversation.

hes the one that gets kidnapped by cops in the parking lot
linklater puts him in a lot of his movies for some reason

Lmao not jaded* though im not based either to be honest

βασεδ

>What the fuck do you journo elites want from men, seriously?
Who gives a fuck? Ignore these cockgobblers.

Keanu isn't dumb and obviously doesn't want to get meetoo'd by a bunch of hysterical women

youtube.com/watch?v=RgHUljLnlNc

It'd be so funny if this where true

You forgot to include a pepe and mention trannies you fucking zoomer

Stupid morons
He's doing that to avoid any false allegations
Keanu is a high IQ alpha

>ugly guy hoverhands
Wow what a fucking loser

>pretty guy hoverhands
OMG SO CUTE AND PURE LIKE OH MAH GAD

when did this happen

As much as I love Keanu, the Point Break pasta always has me in stitches. Shit, I gotta rewatch.

Keanu here - thanks for all your support guys

here's blackedraw password for you
[email protected]:struble

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>Life is easier and better if you're attractive
No shit

See

based keanu

How much does defending women online pay, or are you doing it for free?

I laff Every tiem

Lmao at the old pasta

It's not defending woman retard

>Neon Demon
>Bad acting
Reeves was creepy af in that movie, how his character should be, how the hell is that bad acting.

He was just happy he could finally be himself

They still are the object of ridicule.
It's a meme that women are going to accuse you of rape because you touch them.
It's not real but 4channelers believe it.

So which one are you guys. If you did the same, would you be a ridiculous hover-handing nerd or would you be a Chad with gentlemanly restraint.

No, still beta. Actually mega beta to be this insecure despite your fame and looks.

Thanks Keanu

Protecting himself from lawsuits.

>rarely
So he has raped a few women and they're okay with it? Based.
But seriously we're to the point where somebody is a good guy just because he doesn't touch women on the shoulder or arm? Absolute mad world.

Most things done by someone low in the social pecking order which makes him an object of ridicule will be praised when done by someone high in the social pecking order. This is how it has always been and always will be.

Alex Jones has a small part in scanner darkly,

He's less bland than the rock.

Extremely clairvoyant and wise post

1901 looks nothing like keanu.

lol no wonder your women want to suck our Arab dicks

Easy to be a nice person when everyone sucks your cock.

The password works!

NO TOUCHING

NO TOUCHING

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This webm triggered my fight or flight response

>based Keanu not getting metoo'd
>Liberal trannies and roasties run with it because he's rich and hot and point it out to normalize and push the boundary of fake "rape" culture.

How do we re-enslave women Bros?
We're Muslims right all along?

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Well he's fucking GAY and only touched TRANNIES so I'm not surprised.

Fuck she's hot

you're such a fucking autist lmao

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

have sex

Yeah and we got boxy mc teeth for the movie.

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

Is it possible to learn this power?

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Just a little bit fatter

incel hoverhand
>AWKWARD VIRGIN LOL
chad hoverhand
>WHAT A GENTLEMAN

it's all about looks and women are the most sexist hypocrites on earth

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That's literally him being smart and providing photographic proof that he's not touching them so he can't be #metoo'd

that's not what people get metoo'd over you retard. he just doesn't want to touch their filth

>believing this
You can be a 11/10 in the looks department but if you are an unconfident hoverhand you will stay a virgin forever.
Women are creeped out only by unconfident men.

based as fuck

I'm already fucking sick of this meme. The guy's cool, everyone knew it. Time to shut the fuck up about it.

they want men to fuck other men, not women. masculinity is toxic and male sexuality is something you should be ASHAMED of!

Who was the first pasta originally about? I remember seeing the same pasta but for Thom Yorke in 2013

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soiception

It doesn't really happen, but I recall it did happen once to an aisan mma fight or something. He touched a girl who was posing for a pic with him in the ring after the fight and then later claimed it was sexual assault. The case obviously didn't go through but he started avoiding women after fight because of it.

YOU’RE BREATHTAKING

yeah... no, i'm not believing that

>A goy Zionist

dropped

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If you’re ugly then yes you’re a loser but if you’re an alpha it makes women insecure as to why you won’t touch them and makes them want it (and you) even more

fukken saved

Based
He's alright but the cocksucking needs to stop

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Fucking hell whiteo*ids

WTF its working

Who?

its beacuase keanu doesnt toast with the roast

cry more ahmed

being anti-Israel is a left wing position m8. Even outside the US.

I live in Portugal and the only who support Israel are right-wing nationalists who are against gay marriage and want the church to have influence again and heavy immigration laws and shit

Dude if Keanu can fuck a tranny I can too. Fuck the haters.

Why are so many gays such faggots?

four candles

based

He was bulking for a role.

>We're
American education

HAHAH great picture
Neo always knew about these cunt women
Trinity was the only pure one

KEANUUUUUUUUU!!! I FUCKING LOVE HIM!!!

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>You can be a 11/10 in the looks department but if you are an unconfident hoverhand

faggot, name one example of good looking guy being awkward...

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a few years of witch hunts led by the most gorilla glue looking nigger lady on the plant

Maybe he's the original one.

You missed the entire MeToo movement. Were you locked in a cave in Tora-Bora for the past 3 years or something?

Shut up, Hbomberguy likes cum.

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

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>i wasnt lucky on the gene lottery therefore i will always be sad and unconfident
stop being so fucking miserable, please, its all in your fucking head

This is among the worst things I've seen in my life.

Is Keanu the one man capable of bringing all people together? I haven't met a single person alive that doesnt like Keanu outside of the edgy contrarians that secretly do like him but are just afraid to admit it.

You've had a sheltered existence, user.

He actually slaps their asses after the photo is taken

Haven't we all?

No.

now that the women in burgerland like to meetoo men for shits and giggles the overhand became a necessity for the famous.

its always depended on who did it, and don't pretend otherwise gramps.

>It's a meme that women are going to accuse you of rape because you touch them.

lol , he's not even touching her. women are lying scum

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I heard he did what can only be described a "jumping double cock slap" on both ladies.

Reminder that only Zoomers hate Keanu because they missed out on Bill & Ted and the Matrix.

pretty cute desu

>2
#MeToo
>2
Keanu is obviously already a highly valued male so women want him to touch him, so him not touching them comes off as respectful rather than cowardly.

Yeah _she_ sounds really narcissistic.

When Chad does it then it's cool

That's literally so he doesn't get #MeToo'd.

This, this place is becoming boring and tedious.

Does anyone else hoverhand people who are fat? Feels disgusting to touch the squishiness and often the warm, dampness.

Joke's on you, I'm already touching you with my unwashed sweaty hand I sneezed on and wiped my diarrhea ass with earlier

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

Nationality of this "person": american

Most people would be a lot happier meeting Shaq

I'm never in a situation where I'd be touching them so I don't have to worry about that

Pence makes sure he is never alone with a woman other than his wife

Is this news? Hasn't Keanu always done the hover-hand? People on both sides are wrong it's not MeToo and it's not him being a gentleman, he's a fucking insecure autist. He's a beta virgin who can't bring himself to touch a woman. I can't believe this is being celebrated in the media, this is truly a dark timeline.

You don't realize that the non-fags are gay

the phrase
>drowning gestures
is what does it for me.

Smart. Unfortunately, every paparazzo and fan is now going to be chomping at the bit for the moment his hand so much as grazes a female.

>sucking a hollywood actors dick because hes in a video game is "news"

what if keanu was a stage actor for hundreds of years before film even started and his patented style isn't limited, it's him keeping it real old school?

It's only cringy when incels do it. These women are admitting they'd let him gape their asshole's and then praising him for being better. Women are literally fucking dogs and based Keanu knows it

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now it's the smart thing to do

No, zoom in. That's just the white tile you can see in between some guy's legs. It's just an illusion, my friend

>Most people would be a lot happier meeting Shaq
Kek. This. But Aaron Rodgers is still gay.

No one wants to touch you, you disgusting tranny

Triggered transexual

It's called autocorrect yah cunt

h _ _ e s _ x

This is among the worst things I've seen in my life, and I saw my dad rape a baby to death with a rake

He already got sued by a photographer that slipped and fell. I don't blame him for not touching these litigious thots.

I have and it only confirms the fact that women are dogs, kys. Marriage is for cuckolds and every man knows it deep down. Women are hypergamous and will leave you the first chance they get for the next better thing up the ladder, and then do the same to them, no one is immune

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I've had sex before and i still think most western women are subhumans incapable or unwilling to go against their baser instincts and tendencies and,all together, they shoulder half of the blame for the world being such a shithole.