Greetings travelers. I am Falconhoof. You start in a grassy field. To the north is a lava field...

But jester is our friend...

Go south.

...

As you sit in the grassy field a friendly jester comes by and tries to entertain you. You rape her. Even though she did nothing to you. What is your next move traveler?

Drag jester to lava field.

Kill jester.

After raping the jester you decide you must kill her as well. You find a big boulder and you drop it on her head. What will you do next traveler?

Well worth it mate, well worth it.
Get rid of her, she's shite.

There's this guy.... Craig.

rape jester corpse

Based

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kill frodo

Get lava

pick toes

Go north

Call Dee Dee

Piss myself

take jester hat

Find another Jester.

Kill self

drink water and squat in field

dig hole and search for diamonds

Fuck the corpse

You dig a hole in the grassy field in search of diamonds and you find a key made out of bones. What do you wish to do now traveler?

Eat jester

Wear jester skin

Revive Jester.

Place key in ass for safe keeping

Use the key to open Jester's rib cage.

Go north

bus to yoker

pet the rabbits

Go to necromancer for info about they key

sleep

Kill self.

install gentoo

Go north

put key in japseye

Oi I want another companion

shout NIGGER

urinate

Sneed

quit game

Attempt to banepost IRL

sell key

Flay Jester, wear her skin and pretend you're her

After raping and killing the jester and then digging and finding a skeleton key you say to yourself, that was a big girl for you. What do you next traveler?

A lot of loyalty for a hired guide.

Yessss

Look around for buildings/landmarks

You realize that his jester had a reason for coming hear and she had a lot of loyalty. You decide she came from the village from the south. So you head there. What do you do next traveler?

suck bbc

Look for a place to use that key

Probably wonder why I'd rape a jester before killing her.

Search for landmarks/people

bury key and forget

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Travel South, dragging jesters defiled corpse with me

hide key in my ass

Dab.

eat shit

announce to the public that you raped and killed a jester on the way here

Reroll

*here. oops. please forgive any grammatical errors

Have consensual sex with her

It Ain't Me starts playing

Roll again

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Rewrite the ending of got

Why are dubs so hard
Again roll

You have "consensual sex" with her corpse and as you as you are in mid-coitus a contingent of guards from the south surround you and take you prisoner in the village in the south, holding you in a cell. What do you do now traveler?

This but unironically

Go to the village

Kill Jester.

Ask if the village's name is Yoker

1/10 chance

Try the key to escape

use the key, BUT IT'S IN MY BUTT!

become small enough to use the key as a mount and ride it into town

Skill check lockpicking to escape

Go South

Open ass with key

Your time to decide Falconhoof

Ask guards if they recognize key

be miraculously rescued by the no-longer-dead jester

cut off penis

Spout Lore

Reroll

shout I AM A NIGGER

Leave prison

Kill guards, escape, rape the wife of the highest ranked man in the village and disembowel his children.

Within your cell you spout the knowledge you have within the kingdom. You know how to defeat the evil within the realm if only they would release you. They reluctantly agree if only if you can go to the west in the mountains and obtain the sword of Xabados

sneed

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get sword

Go west and drag jesters defiled corpse with me

flank the guards

bust out of prison with raw strength

go to the tavern and recruit a party: a jester (female), a bartender, and my dick

go east

ignore main quest and continue dicking around in fantasy land

You find a priest that is able to revive the jester (you raped, and killed), thank God she doesn't remember it, the bartender that gave you a good deal was a short fellow. His name was Warwick. And the girl's name was a big tittymonster named Scojo. And with this party you set out to the mountains to the west

can't wait to kill that jester

kill jester

kick Warwick off the mountain when you get to the top

rape and kill the jester while Warwick's watching. If he tries to avert his eyes I tie him up

kick warwick in the chin with my steel toe-capped boots
watch that midge fly away

shout SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

based

Has Limmy ever tried running one of these on his stream?
Would be a great bit of content.

also kill jester

LEWDS

Invalidate these dubs.

*kicks midge in the face, catching his chin with the full force of my boot*
fuck off warwick, you're going off that mountain whether you like it or not

Go east

Patience. My friend it will happen. The group travels up the mountain and they encounter a Dragon. This Dragon's name is Weinstein. He breathes flames of hot paper and gas. As the group traverses the mountain the encounter the trickster, he asks. "What goes up but never goes down?"

midges, when their face meets my boot

>my dick
then have a three-way with Weinstein and the jester while Warwick freezes outside

My erection when we gangbang the jester. Also gangbang the jester.

A kilogramme of steel

age
specifically, the age of my dick while I'm fucking jester and sucking her big tittys

taxes, am I right fellas?

Is heavier than a kilogram of feathers

Get ye flask

You're wrong a kilogramme of feathers is lighter. Warwick finds a tome that describes how to defeat the evil within this realm. He knows how to decipher it and will defeat the ultimate evil. The people that live near the coast hold the key

kick warwick off mountain
then head to coast

kick him off the mountain anyway

He has no idea

call dorsia and try to get a reservation for two

kick midge in head

Rape Scojo

fuck the dragon.

smash Warwick's head in with the tome and head for the coast

kick warwick off the mountain
then slap scojo in the face with my dick

fuck Warwick

force warwick to suck my dick.

Exchange throwing off warwick off the mountain with the dragon for passage

MY BOOT MEETS THE MIDGES CHIN WITH A SATISFYING THUD
HE SOMERSAULTS THROUGH THE AIR

fuck Warwick off the mountain with the dragon's dick

feed warwick to dragon
kick dragon off mountain

kick warwick off the mountain
head for the coast

grow exactly one inch taller

destroy the tome and join the evil. after raping warwick

have consensual sex with jester
then kick warwick off mountain after forcing him to watch

set up camp on Weinstein's belly

crime rate of africanus criminalus

You have sex with the corpse again. then kick Warwick off the mountain. As you kick him him off you hear a faint NOOOOOoooo. What do you do know traveler?

Jump in lava

>the corpse
I thought she was revived?

Anyway, head for coast, using jester as a mount to carry me there

>You have sex with the corpse again.
She got revived, keep your story straight

Spread giant butterfly wings and soar off the mountain towards the capitol city of Warwick-shire, to pay respects to the midget's wife and daughter.

Kill self via anal vore

force jester to jump the chasm

Feed Jester refried beans, milk and cheese

go down the mountain and rape warwicks body.

*revived corpse from gnome magic

As Warwick is kicked off you accept your place within Scarjo. What is your next move traveler?

830 res at dorsia

ride jester to the coastal town

Turn yourself into a succubus

travel within jesters body to the nearest town

Laugh in an exaggerated manner at this guy

Travel to lava fields with hard dick

kill this guy with an ax to the face and dissolve his body in a bathtub in hells kitchen

ride dragon to nearest town
get it to eat warwick's body on the way there

ride dragon to yoker

burgers btfo

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get the sword from earlier

Good thread

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Buy a black raptor scroll and rampage throughout the land.

fly to the moon

So is the whole "people can't understand scottish accents" a meme?
Considering every fucker in this thread knows about this show and can understand the lines.

join the evil and rape warwick.

go to yoker

Man this is bullshit your pretty much just leading us now. Grab my dick and sail through the lava fields

Show this guy my business cards I just picked up from the printer.

Choo choo!
Lot of railroading here
Inquire about rumours

I've got lewds of Kirstin McLean if anyone is interested

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pajeets with subtitles

McLean that out of here

You grab user's dick sailing through the lava fields until you encounter the final demon. The final boss. You know you can't encounter him until you have more equipment/experience. You need to to inquire how to defeat him otherwise you will die

do it.

I am interested

Shut the fuck up it's just for fun

build a fire and hunt for food

Get the bus to yoker

Spent 30 years gathering the necessary equipment and experience to defeat fag demon

Make him reply to this post or his mother will die tonight

I start convincing the final boss that his quest to destroy all life in the kingdom is right and that he should proceed at once

Whoa demon btfo we won lads gargle my jizz in celebration

All of our moms died because of this. What do you do now traveler?

Jerk off.

That doesn't help your quest.

checked

Says you.

Attend funerals

After jerking off, get bus to yoker

Yes. Says the DM. You wasted your dubs.

res at dorsia 830

GET BUS TO YOKER

having a reservation at Dorsia doesn't save you

dorsia in yoker, it's happening lads

YOKER? You find a caravan back to the village of YOKER. What do you wish to to do in YOKER?

inquire how to defeat boss

Purchase a round of drinks

Get pounded spread eagle by Warwick Davis and force the entire village to watch

ask Les Porter how to defeat demon or whatever

Put bonekey in vagina

get a res at dorsia with jester as my date, then rape her

Now listen here mate, my traveler is gonna start having a cheeky wank and rubbin' his knob or I'm warning you you're a fuckin' dead man.

shit on jester

Now listen here mate, havin a cheeky wank is a givin

Discover the secrets of Clifford's Tower

I was in yoker
I thought this day would ne'er come
is it really this easy?
is it really this easy to get the 'hings you wan in life?

Good thread

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shout out
"HERE, I'M NOT FAE YOKER, I GOT NAE BUSINESS BEIN' HERE"

We always knew you aint from yoker we are comin for ya

Ask les porter
>"has you're naem always ryhmed wi' yoker or did it used to be like smith or some'n or.."

Also inquire how to defeat boss

get troll

Find a native and marry her under a full moon

git em

That tome you got from Warwick will help. Go to the coast

An then I thought, Dee Dee, you just blown you're cover big time
fuck you playin' at man go, GO

I make a mad dash for thae bus, get back on it an hide unner the seat until I reach the coast

You just won the game. Congrats! Will have fun playing with you lads next time

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kill jester

Go to the local Church and steal a holy hand grenade

Re roll

Re-re roll

jump the chasm

Re-re re roll

Leave Yoker. Find Warrick’s corpse and drag it to the top of the mountain. Kick Warrick off again.

m8 you already have won. This is just fan service. You have have him set up up and pint him off the tallest cliff. He goes so far you don't see where he lands

kill jester

JUMP THE CHASM

Are Limmys twitch viewers as bad as they say?

Kick Warwick with steel capped boot

Use better grammar

Keep them

Naow, yur ak’scent iz fuckked mate
Awlsu, haows yur mum? Yur pap? Yur dug?

Rape cellmate