Out top story tonight comes from the OJ Simpson civil trial, where this week it was revealed...

>His son actually did it.
>Look it up, the evidence is shocking
No it isn't and no he didn't, faggot. O.J. literally has defensive wounds on his hands, had his blood and the blood of his victims on his clothes literally everywhere because Simpson is such a dumb nigger.

>the evidence is shocking
Sure, if you walk in with the mind of “it’s a conspiracy and I’m looking for somebody that isn’t the person all the evidence directly links to”

Lie detectors are pseudoscience lmao.

I wonder how Norm feels knowing he helped shaped the verdict by spouting stupid nonsense like this in front of a news station set.

I read the best way to trick the lie detector test is to think really sexy thoughts just beforehand so that you will become horny, which raises your heartrate and throws off the baseline. And then when you start answering questions just stop thinking sexy thoughts.

He didn't affect shit, the reason O.J. got off is because the jury was almost all black, and the main detective on the case was caught saying "nigger" repeatedly.

Thats not entirely true. He didnt have it "everywhere". It was found on his socks and in certain spots in and outside his house. Thats not conclusive evidence.

Dont get me wrong, he obviously did it, but lets not pretend that he got filmed doing it.

>his blood at the crime scene, his victims blood at his home, on his socks and in his bronco are not conclusive evidence

t. Tyrone

OJ Sneedson

Process matters.
Better to let OJ go free then undermine the entire criminal justice system by publicly letting cops get away with the bullshit they pulled.

>>his blood at the crime scene, his victims blood at his home, on his socks and in his bronco are not conclusive evidence
It wasnt conclusive. Hence the verdict. Conclusive evidence is the murder weapon and a confession.
Did he do it? Yes. Without a shred of doubt? Nope.

t. Cleetus without a formal education

But the gloves didn't fit

>He didnt have it "everywhere". It was found on his socks and in certain spots in and outside his house. Thats not conclusive evidence.
And in his truck. Also he tried to RUN AWAY and had a GUN TO HIS OWN HEAD as his friend drove the GETAWAY VEHICLE.

As you know, there can only be one culprit for this despicable crime: FRANK STALLONE.

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>as long as you dispose of the murder weapon and deny killing them, you can’t be found guilty

Based retard

It's a reasonable doubt. By your definition anyone that doesn't confess or be witnessed killing someone could never be convicted.

Oh yes they did, he just crooked his thumbs so that they wouldn't. It's a trick anyone can do. I was a huge mistake on the prosecution's part.

>eat a bunch of salt
>body retains water to compensate
>hands swell up as a result
>woops these gloves don't fit I guess that means I'm completely innocent

open your EYES

he did it

>His son actually did it.
Nope. You don't get driven around in a white bronco being chased by cops at 24 mph because your "son did it".

>he literally wore the same gloves at many football games
>Cochran had the balls to say they didn’t fit

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>Lie detectors are pseudoscience
No, they're science. INTERPRETING the results, however, is "pseudoscience".

You're not going to "trick" the test, you're going to "trick" the examiner. Good ones know when there's fuckery though, and just call the test inconclusive due to failure to cooperate.

Please, Conan, invite your buddy Norm to your show...

How exactly do gloves not fit anyways?
I can go into any place that sells gloves and I can put on any size and they’d fit over my hand with relative ease
It’s not like it’s a fucking shoe that’s 6 sizes too small

youtube.com/watch?v=SRiHjZydZH4

Now dont laugh at this next part...

African American

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I just made some chicken and shrimp on my MANGRATE
it was nice and plump and juicy like a delicious cock
also none of those massive flareups
JOIN THE REVOLUTION

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What does running away and being "suicidal" have to do with evidence of guilt?

Well friend, guess why finding the murder weapon and getting a confession is 100% effective?

>It's a reasonable doubt. By your definition anyone that doesn't confess or be witnessed killing someone could never be convicted.
Never said that. Its up to the prosecution to prove guilt despite lack of murder weapon.

OJ is a bad example, because he obviously did it in hindsight. The best example is Amanda Knox. The evidence is there that she did and didnt do it. Luckily for her it got politicized and she walked.

Because his son obviously went to him for help and the blood got on him. OJ's still an accomplice but his son was the actual killer.

>What does running away and being "suicidal" have to do with evidence of guilt?
Fuck off, O.J.

You're an actual nigger.

Were arguing law here, not your fucking opinion.

Legally you’re a nigger.

Legally a nigger jury freed the murdering nigger. The end.

>He didn't affect shit
>the reason O.J. got off is because the jury was almost all black
Then you have Norm fanning the fucking flames by insinuating O.J. is guilty because he won't take part in pseudoscience.

Your crazy odometer circled back around to 0.

>Then you have Norm fanning the fucking flames by insinuating O.J. is guilty because he won't take part in pseudoscience.
That has nothing to do with the case, especially legally. Nigger.

Massively underrated post.

OJ was guilty and I don't give a shit about the word nigger, but you're getting really upset about this

THIS

OK, boy.

>why u mad bro

CHICKEN, STEAK NEVER TASTED SO GOOD

Fuck you, I'm 14 I'm a man now

lol

Is your father still alive?

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>No...
>Fuck!

Nice lucky trips

Norm is a bigot

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an o&a boomer posted this lol

>is your mother still alive?
>my mother? no
>are any of your relatives fucking alive???

Hey, easy with that! That's my lucky stabbin' hat!

dunno about bigot, but i heard from someone close to him that someone accused him of being a cinephile

youtube.com/watch?v=weJqe8m2m5g

>YOU DON'T HAVE A LIVING AUNT?

wow really makes you think
wonder why he got off

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A jury is 12 people
>20 people
Wtf?

I bet the mexican-looking guy in the front row thought OJ was guilty

and a #dickbiscuit

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you should look into some of the shit that went down with the jury on this trial.

The defense had MANY jurors thrown out and replaced

This Norm McDonald bloke sounds like a real jerk

OJ's washing machine was full of bloody clothing from his ex-wife and her "friend".
Blood was in his car, tracked into his house.
Exactly how did he not get convicted?

You can absolutely fool a polygraph test. Controlled breathing and mindfulness. The other stupid tricks, tacks in the shoe/etc, are indeed bullshit.

>Exactly how did he not get convicted?
One of the detectives with an extremely German name was on audio tape saying "nigger". Really.

What about clenching your anus and then releasing it and exhaling like they showed on Penn & Teller?

Defense tricked the jury into believing all the evidence was fake

>Norm erases his entire Youtube series so he can do a terrible Netflix season that's immediately forgotten and discarded

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In the few I've done the chairs have motion detectors in the actual seat part. I'm not sure if those could detect ass clenching or not. I'd still just recommend keeping your fucking anxiety and breath under control. Mindful mediation can really help.

>Defense tricked the jury into believing all the evidence was fake
By suggesting that the main detective was racist and therefore planted all the evidence, that is why O.J. is free to rip glasses off of fellow motorists;etc. He's totally not a volcanic hothead, though.

This. OJ is guilty, but cops need to be held to a high standard

Will they jail you for it though?

>You can absolutely fool a polygraph test.
No you can't. You can fool a polygraph test examiner, though.

There is no "fooling" the machine. It either detects changes in your bio or it doesn't. No tricks involved or needed.

The fucking LAPD should have fires Fuhrman years earlier

If you believe a lie deep down and fool yourself you can fool a lie detector test, a lie isn't a lie if you believe it.

>There is no "fooling" the machine. It either detects changes in your bio or it doesn't. No tricks involved or needed.

>user, do you fuck your mother?
>*heart-rate increases out of offense and disgust*

You're under arrest for fucking you own mother, user.

He was a good detective, but socially stupid. They called him The Fuhrer.

ain't no laws 'gainst porkin' muh mee-ma fayggot

Yes, and by controlling your breathing and anxiety/heart rate you can easily fool the machine by not letting it detect the typical physical reactions due to lying under pressure.

The pseudoscience is the claim that changes in biosigns can be used to determine a lie.

A poly doesn't detect a lie, user. It just detects your bio. It's up to the examiner to interpret the results of that bio during questioning.

That's pretty much how it works. It's up to the examiner to determine whether the bio spike is a result of being deceptive or desperately truthful.

And that’s no better than guessing.

But you're not "tricking" the machine, user, because it either detects bio and changes or it doesn't.

you can simulate that sudden spike in pressure and heat by contracting the shiting muscles. try yourself right now. give it a really sudden and isolated "pinch off"

That's because its main focus is to make you nervous and get you to admit to more shit.

cont. should have said that the key is to make spikes during the calibration questions so you have a weird baseline

True, but examiners are correct far more often then they are wrong. I'd say they're in the 90's, which is why the poly is used by every agency that actually matters.

We're arguing semantics.
You move your body more than you think when you do that. The machine is supposedly designed to detect movement. I guess if you practiced that a lot you could do it without moving so much

Remember these are simple leather gloves. He had on rubber surgical gloves, he didn't take his arthritis medication so his hands swelled, and the gloves had been sitting in evidence so they weren't as supple as they normally would be. Even Marcia Clark was telling Darden not to ask him to try on the gloves because she knew they wouldn't fit him in the courtroom.

It is better than guessing due to probability. It's why gambling "works" for the house and not the gambler. The house ALWAYS WINS over time, and so do poly examiners.

Alternates.

Remarkable how much of a Yea Forums spectacle this was back in the day. Every local channel interrupting its normally-scheduled programming to show a boring image of a white car on the freeway and then parked under some trees for over six hours without commercial interruption.

I think it was then that I realized Yea Forums was bullshit.

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> Nine months since his Netflix show premiered

> Still no renewal

That went well.

Chances are this was made by a 60+ year old baby boomer who also happened to post these exact words on his Facebook wall.

[ ] Crackwhore
[x] OJ is Murderer
[ ] Frank Stallone

Norm only has 3 punchlines

[x] Anal Rape

[ ] Real jerk
[ ] Andy Richter is a fag
[ ] Turns out my brother was in Northern Canada

Norm's career going well....

The Beast, Heroes of the Wildfire (2019)

An animated short re-imagining of one of the largest wildfire evacuations in Canadian History

Norm MacDonald... Grandpaws

imdb.com/title/tt10002230/

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>examiners are correct far more often then they are wrong
What does this even mean?

Hi Norm

“You’re following firemen and also a family of bears that lost everything in their cave and their refurbishing a piano and at the end of the movie a bunch of the animals they finally refurbish the piano and they come together and sing a song as they rebuild the forest together.”

mix1037fm.com/2019/03/22/animated-short-being-made-about-horse-river-wildfire/

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>I walked through blood and bones on the woods of Canada looking for my brother