Memes aside, why didn't they just fly an eagle into mordor?

memes aside, is it really cucked to have a daughter?

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Plucked out of the sky by Nazgul or the Eye.

Or perhaps the Ring would have reached out and corrupted the Eagles.

The whole point was stealth. It was fucking walk'o'clock If Sauron knew exactly where the Ring was the carrier would be neck deep in Uruk-Hai as fast as you can say 'On the Menu'. The only chance was to sneak the Ring into Mt. Doom, and thankfully, several millennia earlier, Gandalf had had the foresight to begin a breeding program to produce a race of egoless bucolic morons to whom carrying the Ring isn't as much of a temptation: hence, Hobbits.

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memes aside, why didn't they just walked into mordor?

I think the point was that the ring would corrupt everyone, and so they had to give it to the hobbits

Because it's about the journey not the destination.

>despite orcs being only 13% of the population

This. The eagles, if they had known the mission the ring easily could have corrupted them.

Why didn't they just nuke Mordor

That's canonically and literally all bullshit.

the real eagles was inside them the whole time

The eagle would say no because he wouldn't want to die. What, you think the eagles are retarded?

>Memes aside, why didn't they just fly an eagle into mordor?
Why wouldn't they show the dwarves something that wasn't supposed to have been on the map?

And also, why didn't they show him the map?

"What?" the dragon said, jumping up in surprise. "Did they give you this map as your own? And who gave you it?"

"I didn't even have the map with me, and my dwarves didn't give me a map of their own. I could be lying, but… it's odd. I just think that in a fantasy novel, every part would be important. My characters should be doing most of the work, and they should be the heroes. But why are you showing me this map when it doesn't explain anything?" his voice trailed off as he thought, staring at his laptop with wide eyes. "I don't understand how you'd want the dwarves to know about your existence, and you haven't told me what is on that map. I guess you can't actually read it, or find it hidden in some secret secret cave or underground lair…"

"Who knows, maybe it's the Map of the Nine Towers," the dragon suggested, trying to take in the look of confusion. "But who knew exactly where that was when you walked through here?"

"I know your character

Tolkien was a hack.

What the shit is this?

>why didn't Elrond
Why would you trust the company responsible for one of the biggest scams in the world?

why didn't they run

Answer me this: why was Gandalf, despite all of his amazing magical power, unable to find a single piece of evidence proving the Holocaust? What was Tolkien's intention here?

Why didn't Gimli just cut the ring in half with his axe?

the eagles were on a strike because they paid them too little to solve big plotholes like that.

Why didn't Gandalf just blow this miserable fart up with a firework?

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>why was Gandalf, despite all of his amazing magical power, unable to find a single piece of evidence proving the Holocaust? What was Tolkien's intention here?

Who was the author of The Hobbit, anyway? Is it anyone but Tolkien who is not Jewish?

Tolkien's response (and subsequent apology) was to argue all manner of excuses for the Holocaust. The most obvious excuse is that while Hitler was supposedly a Jewish terrorist, this is a straw man - while there is the possibility that he was not entirely human, many modern Israelis believe the whole narrative from start to finish. Tolkien responded to such claims by quoting the words of a Jewish Holocaust survivor: "We are a people of great bravery... the Holocaust is a crime against humanity."

Life before Death. Strength before Weakness. Journey before Destination.

a person would only ask that question if they don't have a memory or didn't watch the movie
I'll post a clip that will explain it all;
youtube.com/watch?v=-Cdng3h2Kic
see that mofo dragon and sheeet, he'd straight up kill any and every eagle
youtube.com/watch?v=OdjGPV8X-l4

Why didn't they ask the CIA for help?

how do I get an eagle gf bros

>rekt by a woman and a hobbit
>subsequently his respawn was pwned by two hobbits
Just take Frodo with the ring to somewhere remote and wait. After Minas Tirith aggroes all the nazgul Gandalf can just send a bigass moth to Frodo to tell him they can drop the ring to lava. GG WP NO RE

How do the Uruk-hai know what a menu is? Did they have restaurants in Isengard?

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BECAUSE THE EAGLES AREN'T FUCKING TAXIS OKAY?

Is this a spinoff of dragons fucking cars?

Isengard cafeteria menu
- meat (orc-flesh, beast-flesh or man-flesh depending on availability)
- maggoty bread
- blood
- Orc draught

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Orc draught is just bovril right?

Oglaf without sex is just another uninspired webcomic

based trips

there is literally nothing wrong with having a daughter

>the real destruction of the ring was the friends we made along the way

No, his smile must be protected. Blow up the wife instead

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>wanting to run into more balrog and/or other maia on the way to mordor

that's gonna be a no from me, dawg