Stop, my invincible son

Stop, my invincible son

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Based Dadman

>the world is not ready

Yeah that really was kind of stupid if you think about it.

checked

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Most of the DCEU movies are.

If I was superman I'd just spend the whole time raping everyone!

youtube.com/watch?v=Bs39HGOd25c

>I don't want you to reveal your powers in front of all these people
why is this so hard to understand?

CEASE MY INDESTRUCTIBLE OFFSPRING

Why would it matter?
They are in a tornado somewhere in bumfuck nowhere. Even if Cletus saw Superman going fast noone would believe him.
Then you could simply lie if someobe asked, blaming adrenaline or something like that.

He literally could have stopped the tornado before any of that happened

they wouldn't see superman.
they'd see clark kent
and his identity would have been exposed forever
unless he just killed all the witnesses

kill all witnesses vs losing my dad.
easy choice, they have to burn.

They're in Kansas. They'd say God helped Clark save his father.

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fuck that i'm not letting my dad die

Noone would believe them.
Remember, this is the universe where a woman dressed up as a warrior walked into the middle of no man's land in WW1 and deflected bullets and noone remembered.
Also I am pretty sure a town got destroyed by a guy with laser eyes in Aquaman and noone cared to remember.

Well they learned from the best when it comes to writing stupid shit (the MCU movies).

>I don't want you to reveal your powers in front of all these people
>goes out of his way to spear that dudes truck
Ok dude

Normal humans can't comprehend super speed, they wouldn't even see superman at all
youtube.com/watch?v=1NnyVc8r2SM

>Clark...
>I know I never told you this, but it started around last year...
>I started noticing blood sprays in the toilet when I was taking a shit
>First I thought it was nothing, just a little too much chili, you know how your mom's cooking is
>But it kept getting worse
>Doctors told me it was prostate AND colon cancer. Inoperable. I would die a painful and demeaning death very soon.
>I couldn't face that, Clark.
>At this moment, I know I am finally free of that pain.
>In retrospect I maybe should've let you know I was dying...
>But I want you to remember me this way.
>See the tornado?
>You'll believe a man can fly...

>Run to dad
>Run back
He had already saved a bus of kids

This made me laugh too hard, fuck u op

I'll be real with you i'm 32 and have been bleeding from my anus since i was 12. It doesnt kill you. Can't hurt to see a doctor but in most cases they're gonna be like the ones i saw and just say "haha dunno"

How about, he saves his dad, and then kills all the witnesses? He's Superman, he could kill them all in under 1 second probably.

26 yo here, I bleed from my ass time to time too and it hasn't led to anything so far. I also get nosebleeds pretty regularly, I guess I just have a lot of veins that tear easily.

stop talking about your bloody prolapsed assholes you fucking faggots

Would you rather I show you pictures?

Well what else is there to talk about? Man of Steel was a pretty simple and boring movie.
Superman the Animated Series has the greatest depiction of Superman.

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Your dad would not be proud, bad boi

imagine how hard is for clark to have sex....he has to use 0.5% of power or Lois gona be red mist in seconds.
All your life you cant go all out....I admire him not going insane.

.5% of Superman's power is probably enough to blow through a planet.

Why doesn't he just have sex with Maxima?

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living in a world of cardboard vaginas

tell tyrone he needs to use more lube and the bleeding should stop

Boy Clark was insanely handsome.

yeah but imagine him masturbating with lightspeed and deathgrip from hell

>a town got destroyed by a guy with laser eyes in Aquaman and noone cared to remember
huh?

He clearly wanted to die for helping to raise an alien baby.

Jonathan Kent got cucked hard by Jor-El.
Raising another man's child, and an alien at that. lol.

Was this the moment he realized he was a cuckold?

cuz comics are for kids and dont make any sense

>Yeah that really was kind of stupid if you think about it.
Not when you take into consideration that this is an alternate universe of Smallville. The tornado event happened on that show as well. Except everyone made it but on MOS Jonathan lost his life.
youtube.com/watch?v=uIOxv3d0AjM

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This wriring is so good. The kinomatography and the score elevating Pa Kent's sacrifice after he stopped Clark who has all the superpowers in the world.

not his wife's baby, it's just adoption at this point. Get off anons' it's late

The cuckoo doesn't have sex with the lady bird whose nest it uses either though.

But those arent birds just humans, and for humans to be cuckold one wife needs to fuck other man, Clack mom did not it was adoption.
Now go masturbate to blacked.

No. Masturbation makes you go blind.

Why is lois's head at so much bigger than clark's?

She's an anime girl.

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Literally run at normal pace and back?

clearly you already are if you couldn't make the difference on that.
Now go back to that bookmarked site darked

If he's invincible how come everyone could see him? Checkmate atheists

Dude just turn off your brain bro it's just a movie

>Fuck I ripped through the toilet paper

You literally have a shit diet and also dehydration. Most doctors just don't give a fuck unless you are obviously dying.

Reminder

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Baseless. Put yourself in Clark's shoes. Zod and Faora do not care about us, they want a new Krypton on Earth. Clark just became Superman and is doing the best can without training. You would do exactly the same. Lastly the MCU is not any better do do not go there.

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I can show you a scene of Iron Man doing his best to minimize casualties and saving people while fighting Hulk.
I can also show you Superman jumping over an oil truck to let it slam into the building behind.
One is better than the other. What was Clark thinking? That maybe it was a water truck?
>without training
He only has himself to blame for that, I guess.

>"I would rather die than have the world look up to my son"

Brah...

>Don't attack my mom, I love her!
>Leaves her behind with 2 hostile aliens to fly an alien through a crowded building.

>I must communicate vital information to batman to save my mom!
>Ignore opportunity and throw his enemy through a another building instead

>Lets father die to avoid doing anything that MAYBE construed as super human.
>Destroys a man's truck in a way that's definitely super human only to satisfy a need for revenge

>I have to save Lois!
>Lets Jimmy Olsen by shot in the head, but gets a chance to fly ANOTHER BAD GUY THROUGH ANOTHER BUILDING

>First time he kisses Lois is while breathing in the ashes of 100,000 dead people.

I think Snyder Superman may be suffering some kind of weird mental disorder that only allows him to express love through (or in) murder and destruction.

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When he kissed Lois, he could hear the man whose legs had been crushed under the rubble of the Wayne building. He could probably smell his shit as he soiled himself.
This is what got him in the mood. For Jonathan Kent, the source arousal was drowning things, both horses and children. But for Clark it was that shit released from the bowels of a man whose legs were crushed by rubble.

Cease, my indestructible child

this, don't bother with the marvel brainlets.
They will just shill the same baseless points.
They will say shit like,
If i was superman, I would take the fight outside the city, cause I'm like goku.
When clearly Zod doesn't care about Earth's residents.
Yeah If Clark can stop the force of that truck without it causing destruction, what would stop Zod from just pummeling him while he his focused on the truck. Just stop dude, your brainlet mode is stuck on

Thank you user, I'd never considered this.

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i mean at this point you're being beyond unreasonable, but the goal is always shifting you drones.
Now let's completely fuck the avengers, with captain america going to the past and not stopping every terrorist act set to happen.
The russo cucks must enjoy the jews letting wars happen on everyone else's account.

The only plausible explanation. Also Zod was obsessed with the preservation of the Kryptonian race. SO, he refused to fuck that beautiful Kryptonian bitch, and apparently didn't let his friend have a crack at her either. Instead he came to earth which he immediately set about changing TO GET RID OF HIS NEW POWERS. Are most Kryptonians in the 80- 85 IQ range?

He was genetically altered to be a general, not the father of a nation. He could only destroy, not create.
Fucking Marvelcucks can't even understand things that spelled out to them.

>Literally 100% of your post is about the Avengers

Brah... Nobody made Man of Steel disappointing and BvS laughable except Warner brothers and Zack both handling a character neither of them really understood to begin with.

You can resent the Avengers all you want, but:

The Dark Knight proved a grounded, analytical take on superheros could be loved by both critics and fans.
Logan proved a violent and despair-filled superhero movie could be loved by both critics and fans.
The avengers proved a silly, live-action cartoon but character-driven superhero movie could be loved by both critics and fans.
The Richard Donner Superman proved the character of Superman could be loved by both critics and fans.

Snyderman is ill-conceived because the content of the film does not illustrate the themes of the film.

>Instead he came to earth which he immediately set about changing TO GET RID OF HIS NEW POWERS. Are most Kryptonians in the 80- 85 IQ range?
Why are you here? Do you even know Kryptonian physiology? The sun needs to be red before they lose their abilities you brainlet.
>He was genetically altered to be a general, not the father of a nation. He could only destroy, not create.
This.

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Being a general involves strategic thinking. Planning to accomplish goals. Creating advantages for you and your forces. Seems like throwing away the amazing powers your race has been given is kind of a dumb thing for a general to do. As is jerking off in your spaceship bedroom when a woman who is willing to obey your every demand is next door.

Take care of the dog.

>Being a general involves strategic thinking
No, just tactics. Strategy was decided by the council of elders. Zod and his kind were blunt instruments.

fuck nigger OP I really liked this scene but JL kinda makes this point less as he is shown moving as fast as flash so he could have just carried Jonathan somewhere else. fuck JL

this just walk over and grab him, people would think it was amazing that you didn't get hurt but they would very much be convinced it was just luck

Marvel brainlets. The lot of you, get out.

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The council of elders clearly didn't understand warfare, but I guess this would explain Zod's extreme retardation.

The Marvel movies tend to be idiotic, true, but the DC movies are not only dumber, but also take themselves far too seriously.

Name calling isn't an argument, user.

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>but also take themselves far too seriously.
Besides Shazam DC was never meant to be a comedy. More like Greek Mythology, an epic about the gods. Sure, a joke once in while wouldn't hurt but it needs to be natural for that world. Not forced like Whedon's JL.

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>Name calling isn't an argument, user.
Fine, Superman: Earth One comic was a poor choice for inspiration. David Goyer went for it.

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Which would make more sense if they bothered having the characters make sense. Batman, for example: after being traumatized by watching his parents be murdered in front of him, he trained for years, traveling the world and spending a fortune so that he could take vengeance by giving criminals mild beatings and throwing them in jail. That's idiotic, if you're not going to kill them then just join the police force.

This. Superman is paladin supreme. Clark Kent is a good christian boy from bumfuck Kansas who just wants to do the right thing.

>That's idiotic, if you're not going to kill them then just join the police force.
This is DC user. Snyder wanted to go for realism but not that far. haha.

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Int vs. Wis

But that's my point. DC wants gritty realism without being realistic. If you're going to fight against evil, there will be times when you HAVE to take a life.

It was forced hard choice. Why can't you stupid faggots get it?

>with great power comes the responsibility to watch your foster father die when you could have easily prevented it

Fair point. And now WB are backtracking from it making the DCEU very unrealistic. To be honest Shazam didn't feel it took place in the same universe. It was ultra campy.

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>no one can refute this because everyone is a brandwar faggot now
Back in the 90s it was ok to like both Marvel and DC and Dark Horse

Changing the planet doesn't change the sun you retard. What Zod was creating was a Krypton where every Kryptonian was super powered.

>Snyderman is ill-conceived because the content of the film does not illustrate the themes of the film.
We're getting a Superman reboot in 20 years again are we?

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jesus did this guy summon those shit tornadoes?

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>if you're not going to kill them then just join the police force.

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Would it not have sucked with a better director?

Why are they more stupid then?

brandwar faggotry was always with us, even in the 90's.

the heart attack is a much better allegory since it represents the fact that not even superman can save everyone
the tornado scene is so fucking dumb

>did this guy summon those shit tornadoes?
It was a plot point on Smallville. Every time Clark disobeyed ai Jor-El there was consequences. I believe the same thing was happening in MOS but Snyder kept it out of the movie for some reason. Clark's teenage years in the movie didn't quite make sense if you don't take into account that there was a greater force controlling his life in some way. Maybe that was left for Darkseid?
>the tornado scene is so fucking dumb
Snyder just trying to get the Smallville crowd.

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>I don't want you to reveal your powers in front of all these people
>martha is about batman seeing superman in a new light, not actually about the name martha
>superman had to snap zod's neck, he didn't want to
>why is this so hard to understand?
Everybody understands what these scenes were trying to accomplish. Everybody. You are not clever for understanding it. We are saying it's stupid because of its execution. They're simplistic ideas forced into contrived situations, and very poorly.

Jonathan Kent's death has always been used to show Clark (and us) that he can't save everyone. Most commonly it's a heart attack. For all his strength and all his speed, he can't save his dad. Man of Steel changed that to a tornado because the pacing demanded an action setpiece, Kansas has tornadoes and someone thought it was cooler than a heart attack. Audiences understand that the dad died to protect his son's secret, it's just fucking retarded.
Cue seven years of
>stop, invincible son

Well put.
MOS is probably the strongest DC movie, to be fair, but it contains some stupid shit. BvsS was trash, Justice League was even worse, Suicide Squad turned the Joker into a wigger and a literal cuck fetishist. I know a lot of people really liked Aquaman but to me it seems like they really changed Arthur's entire characterization to better fit Momoa, who was ridiculously miscast. (Also, why is the Flash a tiny homosexual kike?) After MOS it seems like DC intentionally fucked up what could have been great.

It didn't have to be this way. Marvel decided to go with "hey, heavy shit going down but lets laugh while we shoot the bad guys" and DC went with "life is abysmal misery and this is all very serious. I SHALL NEVER TAKE A LIFE!!" Both are stupid, but Marvel's is less stupid.

To be fair comically killing bad people is probably the best scene out of Marvel's movies.

youtube.com/watch?v=RXbFP2V_zSA

Which would have made more sense had they not revealed that superhumans have been running around since WW2 (that people know of). Also, Wonder Woman being visibly shocked that there are fast guys and aquatic hawaiians that stab cameras in BvsS was extremely dumb

No I agree. These are adventurers in life or death situations, obviously they're going to kill people without feeling the need to brood like Batman about it. Marvel has a much more realistic attitude about wasting scumbags than DC. Iron Man after being kidnapped wastes Arabs without batting an eyelash, which I find much more realistic than vengeance obsessed Batman kvetching about whether or not he punched the Joker too hard

Pa Kent just wanted his son to accept fate and not believe that he needs to use his power and devote his entire life to changing the world

>"you have power I can only dream of, son, so spend your life sitting on your ass jerking off and playing video games. "
Nice message.

Bump

This

>realistic
A sniper with half as many kill count(not counting behind the monitors drone attack) in these movies suffers bad PTSD IRL.

Also, which is why I prefer DC as they're more idealistic in their whole thematic approach. Too bad their movies sucks ass. That includes Shazam. It was mediocre at best. They just need someone who is a comic fan in the helm.

> suffers bad PTSD IRL.
Did you somehow miss the fact that Tony's PTSD was a plot point in Iron Man 3 and Avengers 2?

This, and many soldiers with tons of kills suffer no PTSD at all.

Not from killing but from being a bitch about the whole alien invasion thing.

>earlier in the movie, clearly shows his face while in a bar dispute with a trucker who owns a specific truck
>very visibly, DIRECTLY after the dispute, puts the trucker's truck on a telephone pole in an impossible position through normal means, again, AFTER GIVING HIS FACE AND PAYING FOR A DRINK (GIVING HIS NAME) TO THE BARTENDER

He'd already exposed himself before, you absolute retard. Even if he hadn't, though, you're okay with living in a world where our Superman puts keeping a secret above saving his OWN FATHER'S LIFE. You've gotta be insane to defend this shit. Just let the banter happen. Learn to laugh at your terrible movie, and acknowledge that it's possible to like terrible things.

Have you tried not being obese and to eat a non-American diet?

>Most doctors just don't give a fuck unless you are obviously dying.
you're right IME. the fuck is the point of them then, though?