2 POINTS ARE AWARDED TO ______

HAPPAS WITH NO TASTE!

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my dick

Yes, yes, well done user, HOWEVER, despite your best efforts, you are still a neet participating in threads about the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises! Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to be Stephen King.

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Baste

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who would you have chosen?

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give the gooks accent to prime luna

TO RAVENCLAW!

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THE WINNER OF THE 874TH ANNUAL HUFFLEPUFF HOUSE GROUP ORGY

HOWEVER

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the purebloods were right too
Voldemort being a psychopath doesn't prove their ideology wrong

Harry is just a rich, dumb jock in a private school. His best friends are a guy who is poor and not aa good looking or as successful as him, making Harry look better, and one of the hottest, if not the hottest girls in school, who is definitely the smartest. And a product of the idyllic upper middle well-to-do class, dentists no less. A very respectable occupation. Those are the 'heroes' in Rowling's mind.

Malfoy's 'evil' is excused, cause his father is abusive and a dick. And Malfoy couldn't even kill Dumbledore. Does he even kill anyone?

The 'magical' world of Rowling is a class-divided world, with a Ministry of Magic that is a sluggish, inefficient bureaucracy. They can pretty much create anything out of magic, yet the Weasley's house looks like a shack. The tent they take to the qudditch world cup is nicer than their house. What do any of the rich wizards actually do? They're rich because of their family. Bloodlines and families are important to Rowling, because magic is transferred through the blood. Except sometimes there's a rare occasion when it isn't. We are told Harry's history, because it is important that the actual title character is a pure blooded wizard with pedigree.

Also in this 'magical' world house elves are slaves to wizards, and none of the 'good guys' really wants to do anything about it. Except Hermione, who is laughed at by everyone, even Harry and Ron didn't give a fuck. Hermione brings her liberal, muggle ideals, but there's no place for that in Rowling's ideal world.

The book ends with the successful defense of the status quo against the force of change (Voldemort). Harry becomes a glorified cop, to continue protecting the status quo. No progress on his watch.

Colin!

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pretty sure in the books Ron is considered good looking and is tall

>2 POINTS ARE AWARDED TO SLYTHERIN for academic achievement, cultural contributions, humanitarian efforts, and athletic prowess. Well done Slytherin, well done.
>HOWEVER
>I AWARD 50 POINTS to Hermoine Granger, for being an insufferable prick know it all who helped her friends break all of the school's rules and endangered the continuity of the space-time continuum because she was worried about a horse-bird
>I AWARD 50 POINTS to Ronald Weasly because I am an ivory tower liberal and like to pretend I'm doing something noble by elevating my chosen pets from the serf class into my expensive private school which is the gatekeeper to success in wizard society while ensuring the domination of the wizarding elite is never questioned and most live out their lives in poverty and suffering
>FINALLY I AWARD 100 POINTS to Harry Potter for that sweet sweet little asshole. I stole some of his memories while he was in the infirmary and just finished furiously masturbating with my cursed claw-hand to Harry ramming a chocolate from into his sphincter.
>NOW GET FUCKED SLYTHERIN! I trust this arbitrary exercise of authority, scarring children on my own personal whims, will not feed into to anyone's continued hatred for non-purebreds and will in no way contribute to anyone's supervillain backstory

>those pokies
any more of emma in this dress?

>FINALLY I AWARD 100 POINTS to Harry Potter for that sweet sweet little asshole.

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cute :3

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