Hahaha damn you got me, that was good. But lets be honest, I think we both know that will never happen...

>lmao
Is he going to say el em ay oh on stage? You can't talk like on the internet like you can in real life

fagot

OBVIOUSLY THERES GONNA BE LAUGHS AND MAYBE EVEN A SLIGHT PAUSE BEFORE THE PUNCHLINE HE IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW

6 posts and no user has beat these yet

how has no one realized that the only way to beat a woman is to taunt her with the Wall? why did it take us so long?

The angle is great. The only thing I'd change it saying it the other way round. It's less blunt yet still the same stinger.

>You know Leo likes his women young, though, right?

yea, just like he likes his men fat

Exactly. She could say some shit like that. it does sound a bit defensive but he pain inflicted is too good to pass up

can't think of a comeback. this might be it.

Yeah but I'm absolutely certain it would really hurt her without making him look like too much of an asshole or a whiny bit ch (which is the problem with almost all the other possible good and harsh comebacks). The deck is stacked against him but I think his one allows him to leave with his head up high.

My thoughts exactly...have we done it? Is this hell over? We still need to get Jimmy back but maybe we can have this win...just maybe

G-g-guys? Could it be? Is it finally over?

The Wall is the trump card

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At long last, no king rules forever my son.

He should have started crying. Jonah has already shown weakness and is 100% branded as a beta cuck for life. He might as well play into it and be the cringiest most pathetic beta he can be

>Oh so I guess you like them young Jonah. Is there something else you're not telling us?

“I thought I smelled old lady farts coming from an older woman but I didn’t know it was from a host of this show”

Bow down

No, you're way too fat.

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>Maybe I could set you up. Leo doesn't usually date older women, but you're funny so maybe it'll work.

Too rude and he could literally say a shit ton of stuff as a retort like "you seem upset sweetie, sorry I hurt your feelings"

Garbage. I think we finally cracked it boys.

>lmao, yes Jonah. Good thing I'm less old than you're fat

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That’s what I’ve been saying the whole time. Own up to getting slammed and some back with something casual.

>HURR DURR YOU ARE FAT

Try again

Yes. Age/The Wall is a very good angle, like user mentioned. Besides, it's two-pronged: you can attack both the actual age and the visual aging.

>You don't look like it ;)

too complex for what's supposed to be a quick bant reply

>Last result is generic toastie coping
This may have been one of the best ways to handle this I've seen on this board.

I can't believe it's finally over

>Jonah let's be honest here, the only thing you know is the phone number to dominos pizza.

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Someone tweet Jonah! How much time does he have left? Has the show finished yet?

Does he say luh-mao or el em ay oh?

>I can loose weight - can you become younger?

weak

Sensible chuckle

No need. He could literally just smile and look directly in her eye and not say a word

>As is your willpower Jonah.

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>hahaha damn you got me, that was good. But lets be honest, I think we both know that will never happen. You're way too old lmao

A fat Jew thinks 26 is too old? Times up, Jonah, and I'm not talking about the cookies in the oven.

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>you think old is bad? You look like you’ve had a fair share of overdue snacks

Holy shit we did it

nonsensical

Ladies and gentlemen, we got her.

Cringe

You've never been one to care about expiration dates, eh Jonah?

This shifts the focus too much to Leo. The first version was better.

>barely a 1/6th of the way to autosage
>w-w-we did it!!!!
Just you wait, a real Ornella poster's gonna come along and end this, just like they've ended every single retort in the past

>Implying she's expired

decent but still not great

Was she over 25 at the time of this interview? If yes, then Leo would not have touched her so Jonah kinda wins here

Yes I believe she was 30

There's been plenty of times Jonah won already my dude. Even if this thread got +300 with no good Ornella reply the thread will still be made again and again.

>Cringe

Only until you've left the room, Jonah.

>yeah but you hit the WALL, BITCH lmao
Yea Forums finally cracked the code

This is the one.

Well, they say with age comes the wisdom to know better than to ever fuck a disgusting, smelly kike.

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>haha speaking of This is the End, we're going to do a sequel Ornella where this time I sodomize the demon's mom. Do you want to play the part? You wouldn't even need any make up.

I see your point. Imo it makes Jonah look more casual in his comeback but overall it's a matter of taste.
We got the right angle, that's all that counts.

I remember one other thread where we achieved a draw (can't remember how, though). This is the best so far in my eyes but maybe I need to lurk moar.

Awful and mean

>Oh, did you already give up on Leo?

Looks like Jonah loses again. This one's bullet proof

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This shit would not fly on live television. Calling a woman old and undesirable would make the media go after him and blacklist his fat ass. Has to be much more subtle

>hahaha damn you got me, that was good. But lets be honest, I think we both know that will never happen. You're way too old lmao

Say this out loud to yourself. it sounds way too fucking butthurt. it wouldnt work irl let a lone in front of an audience.

>Too salty. Just how you like it lmao

nope it's extremely weak and would only hurt her image more, probably a total silence from the crowd too

black pulled defeatist

What?

I thought so too. I changed it to his instead, which I think works better

Patience, Jonah, we don't need to finish all 4 courses at once EVERY meal

blackpilled*

Not once in any one of these threads has Jonah ever won against Ornella. Why?

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Yeah, I guess that when you bring teenage girls in the cave under your house, it's way easier to make it happen.

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so this is the power of roastie cope

Yes he has. Many times.
>*pulls out glock*...Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You disgusting whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. And start taking off your clothes as you do it. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Be thankful, I'm about to make you a star...

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based but weak

/thread

Because we've all heard everything we've ever come up with on here. And we've all heard the better comebacks. We are all Jonah, user, but here, we get to play as Ornella and come out on top. Thread after thread, post after post, it is all cathartic in rebuilding our damaged egos from our own Ornellas

*laughs with the crowd until the laughter dies down* ahhh damn you got me, that was good *sensible chuckle* But lets be honest, I think we both know why thats a fantasy. *pause for comedic effect* You're way too old *crowd goes OOOOOO and laughs*

Because it's a classic dilemma. Be too harsh? Asshole who abuses women. Be too sincere and call her out? Can't take a joke and takes himself too seriously. Be too hurt? Whiny babby. Give a soft comeback? Lose by default.
He's a schlob and she's attractive. She gets to look down on him because of that but she still remains her victim status because he's a rich man and she's a poor poor woman. His options are very limited.

Compare this to Tom Cruise and how he handled the water squirt situation. He could react to it the way he did because he's Tom Cruise (it also helped that his opponent was a man). It's not that easy for Jonah.

Jonah can't win, Tom can't lose

>you'll go the grocery store for the half off day old donuts but 26 is too old? lol lmao
sorry Jonas

Jews only know how to whine and cry when faced with any form of criticism when they can't blame it on antisemitism.
Jews instinctively play the victim to get sympathy.
But in this instance he just came across as a whiny little bitch.

>I started Brazilian Jiu Jitzu 2 months ago and try and train 4 or 5 times a week. In high school the dudes who did Jiu Jitzu used to beat the shit out of us at parties so it turned me off to it as an idea growing up. But quietly I always thought it was a beautiful art form . At 35 , I try and get over the stuff that made me feel weak and insecure as a teenager.

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"Oh Jonah, you're really going to pretend you wouldn't want to fuck me" *lays her hand on his thigh.
>Dick noticeably twitches
"That's what I thought" *crowd erupts with cat calls and laughs

>Dick doesn't twitch
"You seem to be missing something anyways" *crowd collectively OHHHHHHHs and bursts into laughter

A clown can never escape his fate

...go on

I thought I was too old, user? No seconds of this helping I'm afraid lmao

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L
O
N
D
O
N

Old rhymes with Mold, jonah. That's what you look like to women.

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Pretty good start, but not brutal enough. Would have to be
>Last time I saw Brad and Leo spitroast a girl she was half your age.

Weak

user that would be a 15 year old and that would be illegal

That makes the joke even funnier. That she's so far out of their league it's really funny

>Leo was in The Wolf on Wall Street, great movie. I dont think he'll be in The Woman who Hit the Wall, though.

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lah-mao

Oh shit boys.

>STOP IT! I'm in charge here, Jonah!

MORE TIME

>that will never happen. I know Brad and he would never sleep with anyone under a 6

how does she do it every time?

Oh Sweet jesus this nonsense again, There is no reply , A million anons working on a million threads for a millions years could not produce a reply and even if they did by some cosmic fluke , everything would be in its blind volumes. Everything: the detailed history of the future, Aeschylus' The Egyptians, the exact number of times that the waters of the Ganges have reflected the flight of a falcon, the secret and true nature of Rome, the encyclopedia Novalis would have constructed, my dreams and half-dreams at dawn on August 14, 1999, the proof of Pierre Fermat's theorem, the unwritten chapters of Edwin Drood, those same chapters translated into the language spoken by the Garamantes, the paradoxes Berkeley invented concerning Time but didn't publish, Urizen's books of iron, the premature epiphanies of Stephen Dedalus, which would be meaningless before a cycle of a thousand years, the Gnostic Gospel of Basilides, the song the sirens sang, the complete catalog of the Library, the proof of the inaccuracy of that catalog. Everything: but for every sensible line or accurate fact there would be millions of meaningless cacophonies, verbal farragoes, and babblings. Everything: but all the generations of mankind could pass before the dizzying shelves—shelves that obliterate the day and on which chaos lies—ever reward them with a tolerable reply.

BTFO

SAVAGE

More time.........

How does she do it lads?

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>that audience in the back

Why are French people so fucking good looking

ayy lmao

Trash

We finally did it bros. It's over. How many years? How many threads? We finally won.

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You're all dumb.

The obvious comeback is "Haha, yeh that's my fantasy too".

This way, he doesn't come off as hurt by her comment and make a jokes of it too, but is also subtly implying that he would never want to have sex with her.

Anyway, you're all autists for caring about this still

>uuuuuuh..... ah yeah no, not really...
And that's how you do it gents

>Excuse me? Sorry, I didn't hear you.

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doe she have a history of witty remarks on the fly, or is it this one (likely scripted) instance? why even worry about a reply? no way shes confident and eloquent enough to retort. she prepared that little bit, it wasnt improv

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Cringe

Cringe

Fucking based

For the last years I've archived and printed every single one of these threads. I shall deliver the packages to Jonah soon.

This. The Ornella Dilemma is the ultimate blackpill

agreed. just play it off as inquisitive and concerned, like your translator did a piss poor job explaining what she said and youre wiating.

Jonah still lost cause it took several years to come up with a rebuttal.

You guys just dont get bantz. Its like a war. Yes Jonah "lost" the initial battle because his defense was down. But he won the war because the only comeback is fuck you jonah you're still fat. Its like resorting tonusing mustard gas when you know youre gonna lose the war when before the worst you did was maybe pearl harbor somebody. The whole world would agree that using mustard gas waa fucked up

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>jonah has been making these threads for years just for a response
>it kills him a little every time he clicks the new thread button

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THAT ISNT THE POINT YOU FUCK

ornella is an actual 10/10

It takes months for user to make a new thread with a response and within seconds another user plays the part of ornella and takes the response down. He just can't win with the pace he goes at.

no woman is 10/10

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idk man tom cruise literally put someone in jail for that squirt gun prank. people just dgaf because everyone already knows hes an unhinged psycho

Too many words. Audience stopped listening after "you got me". After that he just sounds like a rambling beta

This is the only right answer.

i-it's actually J-Jonah ma'am

>Of course you were watching

thats what i said, joseph. dont sweat it dude.

No I said Jo-- *ahem* Jonah (with an h at the end haha)

>The whole world would agree that using mustard gas was fucked up
But the whole world probably wouldn't agree that taunting fat people is fucked up. You making hyperbolic comparisons to WWII doesn't cut the mustard. Jonah definitely does.

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>I'd have to believe you, since you seem like an expert on not having sex

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NOOOO I THOUGHT I HAD HER

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Fat acceptance bro, its a real thing. A fatty comment would trigger many

Women are normally sought after as a prize. They simply just have to exist and look good and men that are not the top 10-20% have to do back flips and etc to empress them. It’s a BIG hit to an ego when women make fun of men.

>tfw you realise that the quality of the argument is irrelevant
>tfw you realise that the translator and the weather girl are in cahoots
>tfw you realise that the entire scenario is rigged and jonah's life was forfeit the minute he came on
Why are we born? Just to suffer?

is this fat fuck intentionally trying to look as jewish as possible as he ages? he used to just look like a normal fat kid now he looks like a financial advisor

> I don't mess around with prostitutes
> I have people that take care of that

Criminally underrated

>well the jerk store called and they're running out of you!
what a missed opportunity, can't win if you don't play

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"Hit the wall" doesn't make sense in french, the crowd will think he's talking about a literal wall and nobody would laugh

OH SNAP

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You won't ever reach old age with all le pounds you carry with yoo, Jonah.

now we need to think of a comeback for this comeback

>What's the matter, frog got your tongue?

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>Er, um, I said I wanted to have a threeway with your two buddies even though I am a married woman, b-but you're not invited!

This wouldn't work you fucks, ALL the woman around her age or above in the crowd will feel attacked, and their boyfreinds will be too pussy whippes to laugh, you might successfully piss everyone off but you won't gain the crowds favour.

*Ornella pulls glock*

The men would laugh and really thats the only thing that matters because women are whores and suck penis

that would make it even sweeter

ORNELLA WAIT NO PLEASE GIVE ME MORE TIME

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The men would be too interested in acting annoyed to get pussy

Haha you are correct, I should hit the gym and eat less. May I suggest a time mach- oh sorry.

Jonah has never won, prove me wrong.

The mademoiselle reply simply isn't Jonah.

The gun reply isn't either, and he'd lose when hes arrested 5 minutes later.

This one is weak, she would just play the victim card and he would lose.

Jonah cannot win because he is Jonah.

>At least I'll get old, what's the lifespan for morbidly obese people?
>*crowd errupts into laughter*

We dont care if he would win in the publics eye. The only thing that matters is if he wins here in our hearts and minds

Is that David Spade in a wig?

This is what he should have said:
>So, I'm your pimp?
That's it. He laughs it off and plays it back on her. Makes himself look better, like he would have a legit reason for leaving and subtly implies she's a whore. She can't say anything back without seeming defensive. That's the solution. Thread over, go home.

They are around the same age, a year or two apart. Makes it even better

I may be a little older then the girls they usually sleep with, but we both know you’re a lot fatter than the guys I usually sleep with

MAKE IT STOP

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Jonah could have simple said. "Sorry, who are you?"

Is this Borges? Its pretty kino

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>actually typing hahaha lmao
>actually typing it twice
autism

this isn’t good what are you retarded summerfaggots raving about

>Sorry, Orella, I’m really just here to talk about my movie, “This Is The End” - can we switch to that?

weak

good on him fuck roastie bitches like that think they can talk shit like that to him. They do get sodomized all the way to the grave.

>implying being shut out of sex is a regular occurrence for him

>thinks 26 is too old

leo literally never dates over 25

calling a woman "wrinkled" will basically just make them kill themselves every time

This one's pretty good, and it's got solid digits. Can anyone work up a decent retort?

anyone else feels the shackles coming off for the first time?

free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we be free at last!

But Senpai Ornelia is immune to digits

In the end no woman can beat The Wall, not even her. The answer was in front of us all along.

The best part though is it's true, she IS too old for Leo. That's what makes it cut so deep. Even him just pausing and saying

>You know Leo doesn't date women over 25 though

It's a mortal blow because it's true.

roasties BTFO

based cunnypilled chad wins once again

FUUUUUUUUUUARRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK

Based

THE JERK STORE CALLED, THEYRE RUNNING OUT OF YOU

10/10 Yea Forums hates him.

D-d-did we do it or not....

>comedian
>can't take a joke
>and no comebacks
I think he's just as narcissist and egotistical as the rest of them deep inside

I said, no more desserts, Ornella. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time, they didn't go up there and tell ya

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"You only say that because you have, what, 3 more years at your obesity?" *Audience collectively wince-laughs "You really should hang out with Channing more, he was such a good influence on you, before you gave up." *Crowd awes, pity is building, Jonah looks to cut it and take back control but Ornella's timing over the ebb of the audience is perfect "And you could introduce me to him too while you're trying to stay alive past 32" *All the pity points are exchanged for a higher value of Schadenfreude. Jonah will never find the break in the crowds crying laughter, even if he could think of anything to say back. He sits there in disbelief that it took him 6 years to come up with a clapback directed at Ornella's age only to be bested by a fat joke closer. His heart sinks.. literally, he is having a heart attack as the right atrial valve that has been building plaque since he quit cardio for the 8th time this decade gives out. The crowd is silenced as he grips his arrested chest, this is it. Now's his chance, he opens his mouth but the words won't come out, he's chokin, Ornella's still joking now, cholesterol up over Blaow!

Up in Leo's paris penthouse? No one's been by, sorry we've been.. busy. Now bring Brad and leave

Excuse me? The fuck did you just say? Did you just try and embarrass me by telling everyone in the audience you want to get fucked in the ass and pussy at the same time by Brad Pitt and Leonardo Dicpario? Or did you want one of them to blow his load of cum into your mouth while the other one fucked you from behind? How did you want it? Maybe you wanted both of their cocks in your pussy at the same time? You think you handle it? I bet you could, the only thing in this room more stretched out than my stomach is that gaping hole you call a vagina.

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If you have to ask..

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