Which house did you see yourself in?

Slytherin, but transfer to Durmstrang to escape the roasties

>escaping the roasties
sure, yeah, that's totally gonna happen

>let's sort this retarded teens in these retarded houses so we can manipulate them easily

i dont read or partake in this gay wizard shit but everybody i know always says im gryffindor

can any Potter Professionals in the building give me a quick rundown on this house

This shit belongs on /s/ little guy.

Ravenclaw all day!

it's the house of the gaylords

Usually where the gays go

Faggot friendship house, only one step above Hufflepuff which is literally Downs Syndrome daycare

They’re saying you have a big cock. Gryffs were the Chads of wizardshit; symbol is the lion and they’re bold, brave, and well hung

The gays are in Hufflepuff according to the dumb cunt in charge.
>Literal circlejerking

I'm a sucker for raven girls so slytherin

Are you fucking handicapped

thanks for the rundown faggots, ill be sure to give the next asshole who says this a straight up noogie

Probably Durmstrang boys have a high rate of adult virginity, on account of never having socialised with girls.

>not joining hufflepuff for the cute traps

nevermind i take back my thank you to those lying bitter queers. thank YOU two instead

get bounced off a headboard and a few thousand times and downs is a given

I could have sworn there was a shoop out there where everyone but Griffindor didn't look so retarded.

It's quite the opposite, people that go to all boys academies in real life tend to be much more socially aggressive and usually get more girls.

I'd be the biggest rebel in Hufflepuff and hit on all the wholesome chubby wenches.

>not slytherin
are u all faggots?

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How the hell does a school function when one quarter of the student body are labeled nazis and shamed?

theres also shoops out there with them covered in cum. thers a lot of shoops

Do you have the other pic with the ball gag?

Hufflepuff. I just want to chill by the kitchens and stay out of danger. Not interested in the delusions of grandeur from the other houses:
>Gryffindor: "We're superheroes!" (in practice cannon fodder for the 'good guys')
>Slytherin: "We're supervillains!" (cannon fodder for the bad guys)
>Ravenclaw: "We're super smart even though the smartest wizards and witches came from Gryffindor/Slytherin"
>Hufflepuff: "We'll take anyone, we don't care"

Slytherin

probably ravenclaw but wishing i could be a hufflebro

Ah, fuck it. Sauce pls

Sorry I don't watch Star Wars.

Superior version

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I can really see myself in a hufflepuff

You know Hufflepuff was the party house. I bet there was lots of underage drinking going on in that common room.

Ravenclaw is best.

>things that aren't actually true

w-why was Gryffindor Hermione crying

I'd let the hat choose for me, but I'd probably at the very least urge it choose the house with the least black people.

AH, NO BLACK PEOPLE EH?

redhead hufflebro sweetheart

too much rape

I like how Rowling portrays Gryfindor as noble virtuous clever etc, while the other houses are all portrayed as either useless or shit.

Great message there, JK.

Did you ever notice that nearly every evil character is described as physically unattractive

> Special Delivery for the Slytherin boys and girls.

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I think there was another version with one of the girls having a ball gag.

Slytherin Hermione bullied her.

I hear Hufflepuff girls are the easiest

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found it

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the one for dudes with big ass dicks that fuck all the time and have lots of friends
haha hahaha r-right guys?

Hufflepuff, being right near the kitchens the chicks must be thicc as shit

she's so progressive and tolerant though

Slytherine because femdom

The red hair looks like it was dyed and is not actually redhead, pls fix

I've been playing Witch Trainer for the first time recently and my crush for Hermione and Emma has been reignited a bit. I know it's seen as somewhat weak because it's unfinished and it's grindy but I find myself playing for long stretches.

What do you guys think?

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Hufflepuff
>noone has any weird expectations of you, like becoming wizard Hitler or being a hero
>easy-going house since there are no nerds
>just kicking it with the bros while graduating

Ravenclaw seems chill, but I don't think i'm book smart enough, i'd feel like i'm hanging with snobs

>Luna

ok compelling counterargument, but let me raise you

>getting bullied by 7th year slytherin girls in your first year

>because it's unfinished
Dude it was finished 2 years ago

i dont fucking know i just want a gf

sad but true

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>Gryffindor: Chad house, people who go on adventures and get all girls
>Hufflepuff: Normalfag house for literal whos
>Ravenclaw: Reddit house. "Oh you watch Rick and Morty too?"
>Slytherin: House of evil Incels and Racists. Ideal for the average poster here

Who else /snek/ here

user, I....Witch Trainer was completed years ago, I finished it in 2016. There were end credits and everything.

Hufflepuff honestly

Holy shit that webm is magical as fuck.

Hufflepuff it is then, they're practically giving them away

>ywn snag a 6/10 hufflepuff in your 4th year, graduate together, get married and have a big Weasely-esque family

kill me now

And so diverse. Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryfindor, and even Slytherin represent different talents yet only Gryfindor has any worth.

I see myself as a Hufflepuff... or Gryffindor if we're being generous.

none of them because magic is satanism

I put my faith in God

shockingly the "brave and strong" house got to shine during the war years, I guarantee Gryffindors weren't worth shit after the War ended

Griffindor

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so you're early years Neville?

None of them

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Either Ravenclaw or Slytherin
Probably the latter one but I'd fuck Luna

>how do you manage pain
>heroin
I mean I guess it would work by why is that even an option?

I have three siblings and we all clearly fall into each house. Myself being in Gryffindor.

I don't really know what you mean by that, in all honesty. I'm just an easygoing simple normie, but can become a hardcore defender for truth and goodness and righteousness when pushed to do so.

Maybe it's a poll where they want to figure out how people deal with pain, you sperg

Ya I hate that trope.

Don't know. Any except Gryffindor I guess, since they're the good guys and the jocks of the school? Slytherin are the stereotypical bully house but what are Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw? Which is the nerd house.

Why would heroin be an option?

>tfw no pale slytherin gf to use transfigure me into her socks

Because heroin is what is used for all pain medication?

Ravenclaw is nerds

Hufflepuff is either the losers house, the frat house, or the autism house depending on who you talk to

Ravenclaw it is then.

No it isn't.
It's morphine or its many derivatives. These are however already incorporated in the survey under "prescription meds"

ravenclaws talks about Star Trek and plays DnD.
Hufflepuffs play monopoly and have picnics.

I would see myself inside Hermione's asshole.

gryffindor = good
slytherin = evil
ravenclaw = smart
hufflepuff = stupid

muh wand desu

> Hermione bravely sought 100 points for Gryfindor from Mr. Weinstein, the Defence against the Dark Arts teacher.

The moment they encounter girls they start smashing puss like crazy. Canonically more than half the girls at hogwarts got their hymens smashed by the Strang during the triwizard tournament.

Why did Dumbledore allow Harry to grow malnourished and emotionally tortured up in a cupboard under the stairs? What if Harry told basically anyone with some degree of authority about this? What if he told fudge this as some off-hand remark during any one of the convenient times he met him before their enmity in book five?

What if Vernon blew a hole straight threw Hagrid's chest before the half-giant could even so much as get a word through? Surely it would have been justified considering the man broke the fucking door down. I mean, for goodness sake, it could just have easily been a nigger.

Unironically this if you boil them down.

Picking school houses is quite pointless given the nature of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King

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Watson wishes she had tits like that

>which house would you be in?

Sparklypoo with the other homos

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Large breasts are very anti-feminist and problematic.

gryffindor = good chad
slytherin = evil chad
ravenclaw = smart nerds
hufflepuff = stupid nerds

FOR ME? IT'S RAVENCLAW

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>mfw keep getting sorted into slytherin because I wanted to be remembered for doing “great” instead of just “good”
>mfw I feel guilty when I hurt a fly
>mfw I wanted to live in the comfy towers
>mfw usually a cheerful guy and trying to do the best but can still hang with others

>apparently I’m a “bad guy”

What did J.K. Rowling mean by this?

because they want to find the statistics on people who use heroin as pain relief as well a any other pain relief, are you retarded?

Hufflederps are so laid back, they're never expected to win or change the world so they can relax. I'd go with them.

> Time to cast Titty Maximus on them.

Slytherin seems to have the hottest bitches.

Slytherin so I can spend more time with Merula

that's it, I'm leaving. I can't even get through a fucking harry potter thread without seeing that vile word. You know my fiancé is black right? That her kid is black? It would break her heart to see the sort of shit you people post here on a daily basis. Absolutely disgusting.

If you don't admit Ravenclaw is superior at least admit you're gay

pegging, hand job, anal, cuddles

>without seeing that vile word
Hagrid?

Haha Imagine if the Slytherin girls cornered Hermione and bullied her and cast vibrating and tit teasing spells on her.

what if I just want some good old fashioned vag?

isn't that how it works outside of hogwarts right now

Imagine them kidnapping couples from other houses, tying the boy down and then forcing you, the freshman slytherin, to go down on the girl.

How can Gryffindor even compete?

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And what do Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor?

Reminder if you got shit grades you don't belong in best house Ravenclaw.

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>tfw you'll never spend your 7 years in comfy Ravenclaw, staying away from all the drama & slaying all the delicious nerdy goth girl pusy

Sly = pegging
Gryff = handjob
Huffle = anal
Raven = cuddle

Nogwarts has a long history of producing battle wizards

sign me RIGHT the FUCK up for ravenclaw

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Mentally stable people will say Gryffindor
Depressed low self esteemers and literal homos will say hufflepuff
Tryhard contrarians will say ravenclaw
Edgy nihilistic teenager will say slytherin

EXPELLIARMUS

Slytherin = Pegging, femdom, BDSM
Ravenclaw = Footjob, armpitjob, kneepitjob
Gryffindor = Vag, blowjob, anal
Hufflepuff = Cuddling, handholding, headpatting, spooning with clothes on

I think everyone here is underestimating the curriculum. Imagine having to right a 6 page essay with a quill while using a 15lb 16th century book written in convoluted old language with no google or wiki your first year, or having to concoct some esoteric potion which needs a rare venom extract of some engendered spider species only found in the forbidden forest.

>get accepted to hogwarts
>fail and go bag to muggle school because you were too busy chasing pussy

The OWLs is no joke.

based

>literal magic
vs
>some basic math and whatever language is native to you
I dont think any muggle is gonna have problems finding motivation

Harry got great grades literally just eating treacle tart, copying Hermione, and doing the same spells over and over again in an almost autistic fashion. The same spells which were, as it just so happens, the most important spells on the curriculum.

Besides it's blatantly obvious that Hogwarts students only need to "impress" their examiners. Hermione was known for getting ten O's on her OWL examinations, but what you didn't know is that she had to go through ten D's to get them.

Nigger!

That was the practical bit, m8.
The written exam needed you to study

There’s a difference between application and researching some shit in a theoretical sense. It’s like doing a PhD and researching shit for years before ever playing with lab equipment or doing hands on experiment.

After reading 500 pages on “the different wand stems and why unicorn hair is different than Phoenix feather” in text instead of actually using the wand.

post photo

Imagine being a Huffledork sauntering along a lonely hallway when suddenly a group of Slytherin 7th years surround and stupify you and drag you into a nearby room and force you to drink a polyjuice potion that turns you into a petite wide hipped D cup girl and they spend the next hour femdoming you making you lick their feet and kiss their naked rumps while they choke and spank you and yank on your long flowing hair while they force you to perform frottage with a broom stick and afterward they tell you that they've been keeping an eye on you for weeks and that they're going to get you again soon but next time they'll drink polyjuice potion too and theirs will change them into all the biggest dicked slytherin chads and maybe next time they won't be so eager to let you go after a single hour

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just get some hogwards grade ritialin

nigger what

>but what you didn't know is that she had to go through ten D's to get them.
Wizarding World has fewer laws around consent and coercion, clearly

Give me slytherine or give me death

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he meant to ask "what are the tax policies of each house?"

Hahaha solo weird hahaha.

...

Absolutely based and redpilled. That's probably Slytherin, right?

Fucking kek

YOU ONE OF THOSE, ANTISEMITES

wait, can other people hear the hat talking, or was that just harry potter?

>hmm, no love of blacks...
>hmm, difficult indeed
>apparently not very fond of anyone darker than an apricot crayon
>yes, apparently jews do not count either
>and canadians are out as well, for some unknown reason
>slight homoerotic tendencies
yes, i know just the house for you

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Don't be a bigot OP, representation matters.

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>slytherin
>blonde
Garbage.

ravenclaw

wow that looks fucking fun

Thread's getting pretty fuckawful right now, post Hermione.

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Osiris Red.
Seemed the most chill house.

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ravenclaw