Character is drinking a third coffee in a row

I drank 4 coffees the other day and exercised for 10 minutes to Richard Simmons' Party Off The Pounds! Then I did 15 pushups which I'm still recovering from

>character goes to a bar and takes the whole whiskey bottle from the bartender
>even though paying for an entire bottle's worth of shots at bar prices would be insane

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I can only ever drink one coffee at a time. It tastes disgusting and upsets my stomach and my piss smells like coffee for the next week

>tfw I used to do 100 push ups a day
>tfw I barely move from the chair now
I should start exercising again

you go, girl

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There's something wrong with you.
That's not normal at all.

get guarana instead

>character doesn’t consume 1 large coffee, one ultra zero monster, 3 Diet Cokes and a 30mg adderall to make it through the day

I don't know your state but it's probably just uncurable depression

>piss smells like coffee
Fuck this is the worst shit

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I've had 4 coffees and a relentless just sitting around shitposting.

I used to drink 4-5 large mugs of coffee a day until I started getting constant heartburn, and heart palpitations while trying to sleep

Yeah that's probably it
I feel like absolute dog shit without caffeine, no energy at all.

Yall need to jump on these delicious motherfuckers

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Have you honestly tried a balanced diet, going for a walk before bed and getting a good night's sleep?

No thanks Nescafé representative.

how did durgest beat based sanjay? was it a work?

>lasts eight cups before shitting
This is how I know you're lying

Durgesh is so based.

I'll have 1 cup of coffee in the morning and 2 cans of soda max throughout the day. I don't understand people who can have more than 1 cup of joe.

he held up a photo of breasts to distract him

I've bought a couple packs of that stuff. Barely any caffeine, may as well be drinking hot sugar water with UHT thrown in.

>Monday morning
>8 AM in your own office
>Checking your email while drinking coffee
Kinos for this feel?

My diet is pretty bad as in i don't really eat anything at all and I'd say i sleep too good, I can sleep as long as i feel like sometimes 12-14 hours.
I don't exercise because it's hard when you're already low energy.

>sitting alone in the office while drinking a cup of joe
feels good man

More like 5 coffees and 10 liters of Coke zero for me.

>joe

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you might have a depression
try going to a doctor
I have the same problems but since I'm taking pills it got a little better

>not cherry coke
plebs

cast them

what kind of pills did they subscribe you? I was on welbutrin for a while but took myself off because i felt manic as fuck.

I don't drink much coffee. Three cups makes me a bit jittery already.

for me? it's vanilla coke zero

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You guys seriously should try theanine and creatine in combination with coffee.
>Theanine:
Takes off the fidgety and slightly anxious feel of coffee and calms you down a bit
>Creatine:
It's like coffee also involved in atp production and it's more a push feel opposite to the pull feel of caffein.
Theanine with coffee is proven. Creatine is a bit more experimental but it alone is also pretty nice. Both is ass cheap => no reason not to try it.

tried a lot of different things but right now I'm on effexor, abilify and lyrica

Alright thanks for talking man I guess it's time to go back to the doctor because i cant keep living like this, good luck with everything fren.

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Get them to put you on XL or a lower dosage.
I was on Welbutrin as well and the regular ones were too much but the extended release was just right.

Or he can lay off the ridiculous amount of caffeine he consumes.

Go to the doc and check your blood. Say you want everything: Minerals, hormons...
Costs 50$ at max and listen to what the doc has to say and also tell him that you want to have all the results on paper.
Very simple things could be responsible for your problems like low vit d, zinc, iron. If you're on Yea Forums it means that vit d is probably very low.

I'll let you in on a secret user. Coffee is just an excuse for people in offices to take a break without the boss giving them shit.

I think i was on xl but I'm not sure
They made me feel crazy and sweaty, bursts of anger over nothing, It sucks trying to find the right drug.
Sounds good I'll do that as well
I haven't been outside in a long time so I'm definitely deficient in vitamin d, I take the vitamins some time but i don't work like getting sunlight does.

I found that Paxil helps crush my anxiety and mild depression/ neurotic behavior. It gives me so much emotional blunting that i don’t care about much and my natural optimism is allowed to shine.

At my place we just have regular coffee breaks ,15 minutes after 9 pm, and 15 minutes after 2pm. But if you want to grab a coffee and bring it back to your workspace, that's cool. Must suck being an American.

I don't see the reasoning behind this.
>He's not working
reeee
>He's not working but washing his car
reeee
>He's not working but drinking coffee
ok
-
Don't tell me it's
>He's on caffeine and therefore 120% as effective

>DUDE COFFEE LMAO

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*some times but i don't think it works like getting sunlight does
Jesus i butchered that sentence

>usually work from home
>whenever i tell colleagues that i need to drink some coffee i'm really just drinking energy drinks
making coffee is just so much work, i only need caffeine

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It's the same reason people smoke.

>thought I had low energy
>this thread
Christ almighty, see your doctors

>not drinking the cup of joe in the morning, and 3 more in the evening

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I used to do 400 (non consecutive of course) shit where did all that energy go. Nowadays doing one set of 25 feels like a major battle)

Anyone else use these babies? They cost more, but libtards hate them because they think they clog up landfils. I drink 3 of these a day just to spite them!

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now this is a thread for me

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Liquid equivalent of wearing a clip on tie

lel

I started using heavy whipping cream instead of half and half. Gonna kick it up to a slice of butter if I am feeling bold.

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drinking sugar drinks gives me a bad complexion

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>movie prominently features the coffee zone
That's how you know it's kino.

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i buy the sugarfree ones, if that makes any difference

>Theanine with coffee
I read it helps you focus.

Welcome to reallife.
What is the doctor gonna do?
There's most likely nothing wrong with them.
This is just not the environment humans evolved.
The human brain needs a little bit of suffering, a struggle, a goal, a visible need to do something.
You only start noticing this in your early 20s when your childish natural interest in everything which drove you your whole life starts vanishing.

Caffeine/L-Theanine/Ashwaghanda is the god combo

what's a good antidepressant if I dont have a subscription?

>putting cream or butter in coffee
Do Americans really do this?

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Wait are you guys being sarcastic in this thread?
I drink coffee literally the entire morning probably almost 10 cups before lunch and I feel fine.
literally drinking coffee is healthy.

*I mean prescription

do people really do this?

i think it's supposed to be an italian or french thing

Kid, if you get shit for goofing off work/spending 45mins having a coffee. You are anti social and not part of the team.

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9mm

Butter coffee is a keto thing. Fat Americans don't do it, only healthy Americans.

Try st. johns wort, 900mg a day.

I do sometimes. That or heavy cream.

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Look up bullet coffee. I drink it as preworkout

There's St John's wort, but it's not exactly an anti-depressant.

fucking disgusting ape

Everytime I drink coffee I get diarrhea

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For what purpose? You'd be at a bigger deficit without it and have the fasting benefit.

drink more, it stops when everything is out

I’ll drink almost an entire pot of regular coffee, but espresso is something you’d do best to go light on. All with nothing in it though, not a fan of sweets.
Just do sets of 20 throughout the day, or how much you can at a given time. Add in bodyweight squats too. It won’t make you Schwarzenegger but it’ll get you at least somewhat /fit/.

At my place we get 30 minutes at 10 and 30 at 15. If you arent busy though, no one cares if you just hang out for an hour or two.

SAMe: Different people react very differently though
Rhodiola rosea: serotonergic, could work
Mucuna(L-Dopa): don't overdose, don't take daily
Other anons mentioned St.Johns. but beware of drug interactions. It has a shitton of them. A SHITTON including other depression medication.

Calorie counts dont matter in keto, you can eat unlimited fat

Keto is not about fasting or losing weight.
It's only about no carbs

I work with middle aged women so I know all about this. I started pulling this shit too and then the """joke""" fizzled out, then there was a turnover and the 2 new women immediately started it up again. You wouldn't believe how angery I got, I knew when it was coming and yeah, they did, and looked around with this smug narcissistic deluded look of "I'm so funny, my life is a sitcom, I'm a funny sassy grandma just trying to fill up my 401k before the social security bubble bursts", I had to go to the toilet to not john wick them with office supplies. The thing is I don't want to be a useless piece of shit all my life and this job is about the only good opportunity I've had so I have to tolerate it to prevent one of them holding a grudge against me. The minute the metrosexual facade falls and they will sense weakness and turn on me, there is no way I can navigate the intricate webs women spin.

I kind of feel like griffith in that scene where he pretends to be gay and whores himself out to lord pedo so his mercenaries get hired, can expand quicker and work towards griffith's dream

no you just need to go without it for a week to detox
there are pretty much no permanent withdrawal effects but the first couple days you’ll basically be out of commission to do anything
t. broke a 900mg/day habit

what

ghost

>character holds a coffee cup of a fake brand that looks like Starbucks

..easy on the coffee, buddy

im 27 years old and have never drunk coffee
what is it like

>butter in coffee
What's next? Deep-fry a cup of coffee?

salty bags of sand

i never understood how this thing even works. he's got a tank of coffee on his back, but where does the coffee pan itself go and what purpose does it serve? logically the coffee was already brewed and the tank on his back is actually just a canister of coffee and not a portable coffee maker. the tap on the lower area reinforces that as well.

Like raping god up the ass.

a good cup of coffee is like mana from heaven, a bad cup is one of the foulest things imaginable. that being said there have been days that i was so lazy i microwaved day old coffee from the pot and it made me throw up.

Very nice. I guess you get 30 minutes or an hour for lunch as well.

Are you saying two older women are neglecting their work and just joke about their coffee or are you taking being pegged at work? Its really hard to tell.

Its pretty neat if you know how to drink it properly and find a way to make a decent cup at home. The real problem is if you drink it at regular times a day, your body start producing the antidote for caffeine in preperation for the expected coffee. So really all that happens is that you end up becoming supertired like half an hour or so before you drink your coffee. All those people who drink coffee the first thing they do when waking up are doing is making sure that when they wake up they'll be absolute miserable until they have a cup of coffee.

Coffee should only be used in circumstances where you want to stay up late or haven't been able to sleep well. Never drink it regularly. Same applies for tea.

literally nothing wrong with drinking a cup of coffee everyday

Based scizo

kek

Why didn't you just put it in the fridge and drink it cold?

It isn't like you'll die even if you drink like I said you shouldn't, the key is to just not develop a habit that causes a pavlovian response.

If you drink a cup of coffee in the morning, every day, you will garantueed have a harder time in the morning because of it, even if its just one cup. Using coffee as a wake up call is a terrible idea.

>character drinks beer

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I drink all of my coffee at home black just because im too cheap to buy creamer. I like it this way but it makes my breath stinky, so its critical that I brush my teeth before going anywhere. Normally ill drink 2-3 cups in the morning, I actually look forward to it a lot. Its comfy.

le cafe noir

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based unironically

>antidote
pfffffft
No, caffeine tolerance returns to normal within a week.

For me it's Zest Tea.

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We don't get drunk on vodka everyday and blow up nuclear reactors Ivan

I don't think you understand what I'm saying. When you drink caffeinated beverages like coffee or te, the body naturally breaks it down. If you drink coffee at regular hours, the body will start preparing to break it down before you've even had a cup yet. When the body does that prepping, since there is no caffeine to break down, it actually just makes you feel tired. This is literally why some people have this "Don't talk to me before I've had my first cup of coffee" attitude in the morning. All you need to do is just not drink coffee in the morning and you'll avoid this effect entirely.

>think if i have a bunch of caffeine in me i'll be super motivated and energetic

Caffeine doesn't give you motivation. It just prevents sleep. Any other effects are placebo because people expect caffeine to make them work harder.

>drink coffee all the time
>barely ever drink water see it as a substitute for coffee
>see on /ck/ that drinking coffee instead of water is bad
is it true?

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>drink coffee to wake up and feel energetic
>nothing happens
>drink cocoa
>nothing happens
>drink hot tea to go to bed
>nothing happens
>drink 3 half-full glasses of whiskey
>nothing happens
If I drink alcohol without being hydrated first then I get dizzy, but if I’ve drank lots of water before and after the alcohol, I’m A-OK.
>go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake after 7 or 8 hours
>wake up like shit
>go to bed later and sleep for 6 or so hours
>wake up like shit
>go to bed super late and sleep for 4 or so hours
>wake up like shit
>go to bed relatively early, sleep 3 or so hours and wake up in the middle of the night
>ready to take on the world
>don’t sleep at all
>feel like 10/10 until I pass out on my chair, unless I power through it and stay up for like 3 days
Why am I like this?

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I just drink triple espresso every few hours, loser

Coffee is fine. Sugar and milk are not. Drink it black and you're doing okay.

Dude are you good?

Is it possible for your body to turn normal again?

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

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Listen to this idiot here.
It's bad for your teeth though because it has a lot of acid, but good for your liver and the consequences for the colon are undetermined and studies say different things.

What is Durgesh’s endgame

Yeah just stop drinking caffeine for like a week or so. I'm not joking that this is how long it takes to stop being physically addicted to things like alcohol and heroin as well though since caffeine is a pussy drug the week is mostly just you having a headache every so often and feeling like shit in the morning.

Butter coffee an actual thing user. The key is to avoid the salted variety and mix it a blender. The Homer Simpson is pure disgust though.

coffee dulls the chemical in your body that tells you that you need sleep

if you're well rested to begin with, it won't do anything

>tfw got a small mug so I have an excuse to get up every 2 hours for a 2 min coffee break
>tfw I actually like refilling the coffee maker because it gives an excuse to not work even longer

This is only true if you are a weak minded, emotional crybaby and general shit person to deal with. Sure, caffeine tolerance builds up over time, but actual dependence is only for people who are unstable to begin with. I drink tons of coffee, almost exclusively in the mornings, its immensely satisfying, I love the buzz, but when I dont get it, the normal grogginess that accompanies waking up wears off after 15 minutes of activity. Sitting around and being a lazy, whiny fuck is for pussies, but, surprise surprise, a huge chunk of the population behaves in this way. Ive got friends who dont drink coffee at all, and are groggy, slow to rise, irritable cunts in the morning. Most people are, really.

d'ye take sugar yeah?

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ADHD, possibly, if stimulants bring you down. Good sleeping patterns help bro. Don't do that to yourself. Sleep deprivation is cumulative.

Try afternoon naps.

>ask cute girl on a plane if she wants some cream with her coffee
>she says that she takes it black like her men

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An hour after drinking a cup of coffee I feel fantastic, but later in the day it gives me anxiety, upsets my stomach, and as some people up there say, piss smells like coffee.

Also, I had to stop drinking it because it gave me acid reflux and dysphagia. And I never drunk more than one cup a day.

Problem is that when I go to a caffeteria in the morning I don't know what to get if it's not coffee.

aziz ansari and om puri
>inb4 dead and exiled

You have autism

Got a moka and love it lads, nice strong coffee, easy to make, nicer than instant, and cheap as hell

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You're such a fucking pussy

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Anyone that says "real men do x" is an insecure fag that can confidently be ignored.

is coffee the ultimate pleb filter?

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>Just succumb to arbitrary social conventions bro cause lmao

Whole bottle is cheaper than individual shots.

Cigarettes and coffee

You take it too literally. Its just called a coffee break but you don't need to drink coffee. You just go to the break area in your office you autistic NEET.

ask your mother for some, i raid mine's lexapro stash regularly

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That's the thing, I take afternoon naps. Either I wake up after 30 minutes, mostly tired, or I sleep over for 2hrs+ and wake up dazed. I really need to exercise more, I think...

Are all Nescafe products like that? I bought a few packs of mochachino and latte and it would be quite dissapointing if it doesnt have caffeine (I'm bad at telling it by myself after drinking)

based

no but you will be in like 15 years at this rate

damn kojima looks like that?!

Liquid dirt but with addictive properties

Guys you only need about one cup per day to get the maximum coffee effect

Aziz ansari as sanjay and Jackie Chan in blackface as durgesh

>fill my mug halfway with straight up black joe
>drink water and only water for the rest of the day
>had kidney stones 2 years ago, so now afraid of them

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I hate coffeeniggers. TeaChad masterrace reporting.
Enjoy your diarrhea splatters coffgroids.

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>i did not find 13 yr old Manisha

kek, that can't be real

>not drinking enough of it until your bowels become desensitized and you shit a perfect solid stool even after 3+ cups
pleb

>I love to travel!!
>if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best
>non providers with receding hairlines swipe left

Positively Lynchian

>I can only see left breast

Who was in the wrong here?

Would you like to date a balding woman?

>the chicken tendies of coffee

Durgesh beating up pedophiles.
Based

Sneed

Is it just me or does coffee taste like complete shit

>coffee dulls the chemical in your body that tells you that you need sleep

>if you're well rested to begin with, it won't do anything
Brainlet

There are some supplements that can help, like d vitamin and zinc

Gross

It's just you.
It's a drink for grown ups after all.

Its not. Its just a meme.

Don't do this it makes mustard gas

Most people think that actually. That's why sweetened creamer and sweetener industry exists. Also the same reason why you get called a pussy for adding those things. One would not accuse you of being weak for drinking sweetened coffee if they did not think it needed sweetened. They would simply drink theirs and let you drink yours how you like. Instead they grin and bear it while pretending to like it just so they can feel macho.

How is it compared to coffee? I've been drinking coffee for a decade now, but 9/10 it makes my stomach upset. I wouldn't mind switching to caffenated tea

>drinking nothing but diuretics is fine if it has no sugar or cream
anons pls

I got off caffeine using macha tea. Broke it in about a week with no withdrawals.

For me, its the water

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>coffee is a diuretic
user pls

>character doesn't drink cider with friends because he hates the taste of beer

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Do Americans really do this? Just pop pills and tell themselves they're improving instead of working on themselves and improving?

>Americans
It doesn't matter in what country you live. Go outside and take a look. It's everywhere.
>working on themselves and improving
Certainly makes the depression go away.
Bravo user.

have you tried

Nigger, stop drinking Coke Cock and try a real drink

Sex usually works for me
Just hit up a cute girl on tinder, fuck her in the bar's bathroom, it keeps me going through the weekend

it's actually the way to tell the difference between good and bad coffee; for high end brands there's no effort involved in taking it black, it smells and tastes perfectly fine; only pleb-tier stuff need creamer and sweetners, or worse still, instant coffee which is shit-tier and only bugmen enjoy

if you're drinking anything less than this i have to suggest you start using illy as a baseline for decent coffee.

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Yes.
I'm bulky as fuck and my diet is good.
I'm not very handsome but physically healthy.
n=1 never proves anything

What about Lavazza, dear patrician?

davidoff masterrace reporting

>all this cope

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Cuck

No

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Retard.

Cope. It tastes like shit, boomer. Now go take your meds.
Exactly. I see this all the time with my normie friends. Coffee tastes like shit, the sweeteners are necessary

this is very true in restaurants
even just pretending to be a smoker works

patrician coalburner

as long as she has a hairy pusy

>coworker asks how I like my coffee
>tell him "Like my women, black"
>actually drink it with lots of milk and sugar

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You guys remember that coca cola with coffee?

Fuck that was the SHIT I wish I could still find it over here

Also I'm an incel

I don't understand your argument. Presumably you are saying I'm coping with being incapable of enjoying black coffee. That alone shows that you think being able to drink coffee black is some sort of an achievement. If it were something that came naturally to you then you wouldn't view it as an accomplishment.

Aldo I'm racist

Also I'm a big guy

Daily reminder that if you drink your coffee any way other than straight black than you are a weak-willed faggot whose inferior genes will not be passed on.

And no, mixing in a little sugar or sweetener is not permissible.

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>character is drinking a third cawfee in a row

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>calling others weak while drinking anything but water

What's the second opinion?

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Also I'm Sneed.

>>one day sitting bored and sad
>>think if i have a bunch of caffeine in me i'll be super motivated and energetic
>>drink 3 cups of coffee in a row
>have diarrhea for the rest of the day

drank whiskey for the first time yesterday and don't understand how these characters spend all day sipping that shit. It's like vodka but at least vodka is supposed to be a drink for poor people. That shit must destroy your taste buds in a month.

>If I drink a monster I'll have lots of energy!
>get diarrhea
>can't sleep
>misogynic power fantasies going wild
>still no energy

Try drinking scotch or irish whiskey. It's better imho and more flavorous. You sip it slowly and let the smoky/woody aroma fill your nose. A patrician spirit when you buy the good stuff.

Still me, the best way to enjoy a scotch/irish whiskey is with good tobacco, cigar or pipe.

>hmm getting late, time to start working
>better make a good cuppa for focus
>ah that's good, now I just gotta find something good to watch as I drink then it's off to grind
>oh crap it's been 4 hours
>well now I definitely need another cup to stave off the fatigue...

based durgesh

What brainlet logic

It totally is normal. A lot of caffeine can make you nauseous or even hurl.

You fucking poser piece of shit, just fucking make a boat.

Have sex

>10g of sugar in a cup of coffee
Kill yourself.

It’s not

Working out

Exercise. And everything the other guys mentioned.

I was looking for ketamine and magnetic stimuation (despite the meds I was already taking) a few months ago until I started moving my fat ass again. It did wonders for me.

> uses an extra cup in every instance and piles them up around him/her

>"I like it how I like my women, black and preferably fair trade"

I've actually used this a couple of times and it's never gone down well

I've been drinking a large mug of coffee roughly every waking hour for the past 13 years. Sometimes I don't sleep for 3 or so days, which would mean that in that time, I've ingested somewhere in the range of 50 mugs of coffee. When should I expect my heart to give out? Within the year? Or am I already long dead and my brain just hasn't acknowledged it yet.

"I like something to be preferably..."

What a retarded thing to say

doesnt matter, you're not real anyway
just a random character in my universe that won't be around after i stop thinking about you

To be honest I don't get cofee drinking. Why would you sip a drink like some kind of faggot?

english isn't your first language right

Based hedonistic poster

I tend to let it get lukewarm then gulp it down

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Fucking this

Anyone going “waaaaaah coffee makes me go poopie a lot!” hasnt drank it enough to get over that phase.

>character keeps drinking coffee even though it makes his bowels go crazy causing him to shit 3 times a day at work

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Thread inspired me to make a potta. Thanks.

nigga thats weed

>colleagues discuss the size of their shits and try to stink out the toilets as brazenly as possible

I wish I was joking

Start eating hot sauce and salsas with chips and foods. Also some walking/jogging works

I don't use them because Keurigs are shit for making coffee, they don't get hot enough and they're mold traps.

This is all you need.

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>Calorie counts dont matter in keto, you can eat unlimited fat
You're a moron, and probably a fatass.

nigga please

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>tfw you can't urinate in a public washroom when people are in it so you deliberately restrict your fluid intake at work so you only have to pee once a day, and even then that's reliant on the stars aligning and you getting 5 interrupted minutes in a stall
>tfw someone else comes in to the stall next to you, and sits there in silence for minutes and you realize he has the same problem and is waiting you out, so you both just sit there in a game of autism chicken until one of you gives up and pretends to wipe a non-existent shit and leaves the bathroom in shame and anger to finish the rest of the day with a full painful bladder
haha that would be weird

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You're a fucking idiot. The "antidote for caffeine"? What the actual fuck are you sperging about, you fucking autistic moron?

I use both of those and a Keurig and single cup coffee mate. Stop being FAGGOTS

>being a caffeinecuck
only when i need the extra boost for exams yeah but that shit is bad for you

>the body will start preparing to break it down before you've even had a cup yet.
This is complete and utter bullshit that you're pulling right out of your ass, autist. Nobody cares about your fairy tale biology theories, stupid.

>needing five minutes to piss
You should see a doctor about that.

Who the fuck goes around smelling their pee? What the fuck is wrong with you?

My entire family drinks coffee but I'm the only one that doesn't (I prefer tea), am I missing out on coffee or should I stay away from it?

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>character develops and then breaks phenibut addiction

Oh, I can sit there for 15 minutes. I can have a painfully full bladder, and as soon as I step into a populated bathroom, the feeling goes away. I saw a urologist, and had a bunch of tests, and even got a cystoscopy (that was fun), but there's nothing physically wrong me. I also produce way too much cortisol which is maybe related (stress), but no physical causes there either. Shitty childhood broke my brain.

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If you're buying pre-ground coffee, you're buying stale coffee.