Luke, did I tell you I'm only 40 years old? Time hasn't been a good friend

There aren't two suns because they're not fucking there

>Muh global warming
Stfu

>It will be absolute pottery

Time works differently in different parts of the galaxy, as well as on different points on planets. For all we know, all of the planet hopping he did during the Clone Wars aged him about 15 years biologically, but he probably remained 38 on his Galactic Republic record or however old he was supposed to be by RotS because of the standard set for dating and keeping track of time within the galactic government.

He was like at least 30 by the end of RotS. Then add 20 years on Tatooine dealing with all that stress and guilt and that's what you look like.

Luke is 15 in ANH and Obiwan is 40 (he was 25 in RotS, 20 in AotC and 15 in TPM)

based retard

It was a good thread.

1/10 nice effort

Luke, did I ever tell you how your sister was held as a sexual slave by a morbidly obese slug alien? How he forced her to wear a humiliating bikini dress and a collar around her neck? How he repeatedly violated her every hole with his ooze-covered worm-like appendages, within full view of dozens of members of his audience and entourage? She, a princess of the royal family of Naboo; educated, confident, and headstrong, forced against her will into the most vile and humiliating and loathesome acts of debauchery, all to glorify his insatiable lust and boundless ego?
She was a good friend.

Attached: 1559275649839.jpg (566x800, 369K)

Attached: 1558536953024.gif (320x240, 1.82M)

Luke, were you expecting some surprise, for me to reveal a secret that had eluded you, something that would change your perspective of events, shatter you to your core? There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you.

Attached: kreia.png (669x678, 437K)

these are fucking gold

Idiot.

that's really nice artwork

Luke, did I ever tell you about Bigger Luke? The two of you are nearly identical, except he's ever so slightly larger. Remember when you went into Yoda's Dagobah Force Tree, saw your face inside Darth Vader's broken helmet and thought it meant your greatest fear was becoming Darth Vader? Well, that was the corpse of Bigger Luke you were staring at. You killed him. He was a good friend.

there's a nude version

This was canon in the EU

Luke, wake up! I need to tell you about The Sequential Passage of Chronological Intervals.

The Sequential Passage of Chronological Intervals was a song performed by Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes, an all Bith band led by the musician Figrin D'an. It was at one time considered number three in the top five greatest hits of the planet Tatooine.

They were all good friends.

Attached: reuivriu.png (300x168, 79K)

You’re delusional

>Catherine O'Hara

>Bigger Luke
what the actual fuck

Attached: Screen Shot 2019-06-07 at 11.34.32 PM.png (1824x850, 527K)

lmao u mad?

everything in EU was canon, like Prince Scizor raping Leia

>I don't remember owning a droid, even if this one clearly recognizes me by NAME.

no u

proof?

It's painted well but the proportions are wonky as fuck and that ruins it for me.

Obi Wan was like 60 in ANH, not 40, lmao.

>Plan to destroy the Force #9001: Destroy the franchise

Attached: Kreia Kennedy.png (750x508, 496K)

Luke, did I ever tell you about breasts? Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species and some reptomammals, and were normally a distinguishing feature of the female of the species. Males did have breasts, but they were far less developed than their female counterparts due to the sexual dimorphism.
In some cultures, sentient females nursed their own young. This was true of both primitive planetary societies like Dathomir, where the warrior-women of the Singing Mountain Clan would feed their children even during solemn councils of war, and high-tech interstellar civilization: even Tenel Ka Djo, Queen Mother of the Hapes Consortium, nursed her daughter Allana herself. And they were good Friends.

Luke, did I ever tell you about SoloNaboodeetooTatooartooineOolaooba,
cantinakanatacalrissiancassianerso2sowindu, starkillerskywalkerrosereyrenfin
and how it's all just a bunch of babble put together from a big matrix of babies syllables? they were good friends

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the Janitor? He was a shitposting knight, like your father. Before the dark times. Before Hiroshimoot. Now he spends all of his time deleting threads and saving his piss in empty plastic bottles. He does this without the slightest anticipation for compensation. He was a good volunteer.

vocaroo.com/i/s1qRivxX0qi1

This don't make sense. Luke was there for that and Leia was a princess of Alderaan not Naboo

Basado

Holy based

Tied for my favourite with the assassin story

Luke did I ever tell you how you kept the last name Skywalker and were placed in same hood as your father, Anankin Skywalker, so that he wouldn't find you?

Lucas can't even flesh out his own back story.

Apologize for nothing

Luke is 19 in A New Hope. starwars.fandom.com/wiki/19_BBY

He was 38 in Revenge of the Sith.
Luke's like 20 in ANH.
Meaning Obi Wan is 58.
Combined with a harsh life on Tatooine and mourning his brother, his entire order, and the known universe itself being lost of a totalitarian empire that oppresses people.
Yeah he looks about right.

Absolutely based.

>barely legal in most systems

Attached: laughing_luke.jpg (843x612, 120K)

Luke did I ever tell you about Grass?
Grass was a type of plant native to many planets that often grew in large patches in fields. Alderaan had green grassy hills. Grass was common on Lothal and Holshef, a man in hiding from the Galactic Empire, would often ask Merei Spanjaf to describe things like the color of the grass or the sunset. Before the arrival of the Empire on the planet, one could chart the arrival of spring by the shade of green in the grasslands. There was a saying among traders in the Outer Rim Territories that one had not seen the color green until they'd landed in the grasslands of Lothal. Prior to the Empire's devastation, the grass was everywhere on Lothal, spanning the planet's continents like a sea of golden-green. Following the planet's liberation from the Empire, much of the former glory of the planet's rolling grasslands was restored. Grass was a foodstuff for certain herbivore creatures such as nerfs, and it was a good friend.

Deathsticks not even once.

I knew an alcoholic with diabetes that was bed ridden for the last 6 months of his 59 year old life, and he didn't look as old as obi wan

I get hard just thinking about this quote

*force ghosts in your path* thought you could get rid of me huh?

>and it was a good song

Once a junkie always a junkie

Attached: Trainspotting-1024x576.jpg (1024x576, 95K)

Luke, did I ever tell you about National Socialism? It was a totalitarian ideology, not dissimilar to that of the present-day Empire. I once used it to gain control of a far away land, then instigated a conflict to defeat a tribe of big-nosed aliens. It was a good war!

Attached: Last-10-days.jpg (600x331, 68K)

Alec Guinness was 62 when they shot the film, not even much older than your alcoholic acquaintance.

early onset balding and graying can hit any man

This shit had my dying

Attached: 1473911482588.jpg (407x382, 62K)

The idealistic crusade was being a jedi

Hey leftypol

What the FUCK did he mean by this?