Really Oodles The Noodle

i bet it was worth it

>getting cancer through sexual contact
Anything else?

Is there anything more based and redpilled than eating out the pink puckered ass of a pale white redhead?

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So did she get this from taking it up the ass? Imagine the smell. She looks great for her age.

Since it's all over at this point, he should go full scat mode.

how'd it happen?
>goes down on wife
>gets throat cancer
>licks her ass
>she gets butt cancer

or
>goes down on wife before ponos in vagoo
>gets throat cancer
>goes backdoor on wife
>gives her butt cancer

I’d let her shit on my chest still

for the CHANCE

that's one ugly jew

Dont have disgusting fetishes. A foot fetish is more sane than licking an anus.

>So did she get this from taking it up the ass?
her anal cancer came from his throat cancer. he ate her ass.

You have obviously never suckled a girls ass my friend.

if you're having oral and vaginal/anal sex with someone who has HPV/while having HPV you will inevitably have HPV in the mouth/throat and genital warts.
the most dangerous place for HPV's presence is in the cervix, anus, or throat because it will possibly cause cancer cell formation in these places.
with the increase in prevalence of oral sex, males are getting throat cancer from HPV almost as often as women are getting cervical cancer from HPV. women still get HPV cancers more often because of anal sex transmission.

I'm glad you posted it.
First thing I thought

Eating ass is the most refreshing and tasteful sexual act and I know this from experience

I'm just gonna throw my head canon out there:
Hubby was porkin a freak on the side. Hubby got throat cancer from said 3rd party. Hubby then ate some ass.

All Cross has to do is heavily scissor the original bitch to bring it all full circle

not sure this article understands how cancer works

ahahahha die you fucking jews or jew enablers!!!

Its like a crisp garden salad on a hot summer day: Nutritious and refreshing.

Lmao wtf

>those headline
I leaped into clown world sam. Oh, boy.

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That's not for certain. Could be kiss->bj->butt

Uhmm, then how do you explain AIDS?

look at his shit eating grin

heh heh

I had a class in law school where we were discussing whether inflicting another person with HPV without telling them could be considered a tortious act or not. This girl raised her hand and said "well half of all girls our age have HPV, and it's mostly harmless, can it really be considered harmful?"

Well fuck you bitch lol enjoy your anal cancer

can you imagine telling the world that you enjoy getting your ass eaten? I'm a little worried though because of eaten more vaginas than i care to admit

sounds like the cunt who gave me mouth herpes

legal in my australian state

Or they were having a three way with another dude

I didn't know cancer was an std...

>needing to google moner

the cancer wasn't transmitted, the hpv which was the cause of the cancers was

They had a threesome with Queer Sancho, who had the virus. He blew Sancho and got him hard; then Sancho reamed out her butt.

> Gets HPV vaccine
> Can eat all the ass I want
> Still khv

so cancer can be transmitted via a virus?

youtu.be/9sXlOvRZeoc

there are some studies that link some variations of the hpv virus to cancer but it definetely hasn't been estabilished. that article is pure brown

imagine the smell

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Yup. There's even evidence that just being around those with Alzheimer's gives you the fucking disease.

>just being around those with Alzheimer's gives you the fucking disease.
How the fuck is that possible?
Are they sure the people around Alzheimer patients just aren't usually their relatives and they get it from the genetic components?

Only if you eat their brains or are closely related

They're saying it's possibly a virus.

>Only if you eat their brains or are closely related
Nope.

What are you supposed to do with mouth herpes? I think I have it. I noticed it yesterday

>avoiding pussy eating
This thread is way too negroid.

It'll flare up now and then forever, user. Be glad that it's not genital, and I think you can take things to keep outbreaks to a rare minimum, but it's like luggage. Thank goodness I never got that much action.

>being a fag

eating pussy/ass = likes being dominated = submissive faggot

So it is gonna go away on it's own? That simple? I don't want to see a doctor for this shit. I already did for urinal infection two years ago because of some filthy hooker I fucked

This frequency will slow down after the first year, i got 4 outbreaks last year, two during peak stress times at work. If it's your first time you will feel like you have a mild flu and maybe break out in multiple sores. Get valtrex, get abreva, and stay hydrated. wash your hands before touching anything after touching your lips. Later if you feel a tingle and fat lip, you are more than likely getting an outbreak, don't fool around until it's over, it's contagious in the 'tingle' phase. it sucks but it's not the end of the world, be careful not to spread it to anyone and tell them you have it, let's be better than the people who gave it to us.

>So it is gonna go away on it's own?
It's never going to go away completely, but it will seem to go away for a while if your immune system is otherwise healthy.

Nice larp btw wasted some of my time. Good job.

At least it wasn’t the other way around.

>Licking the hole where fecal matter comes from.

Ha gay.

>tfw got herpes
am i going to die of dick cancer bros

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Brap posters BTFO

This user:is right. I had a girlfriend who had mouth herpes and I never got it from her because we never fooled around when she was broken out. She never had it on her pussy, and it's politely called "cold sores" even though there are actual cold sores, but just so you know it's common.

I’d eat out her asshole for muscular dystrophy

That sucks. I hate the human body, but thanks user

Not larping

wait what the fuck i get cold sores and i'm a khv, i feel cheated

if you're under 8" it can't absorb the toxicity and you will die

fuck bros
i aint gonna make it

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>Not larping
In that case, go with God, but this isn't the end of the world, just don't kiss anyone or have sex when you're broken out or else you're a piece of shit who deserves far worse, is all.

>wait what the fuck i get cold sores and i'm a khv, i feel cheated
What's "khv", and it just is present in some people-YOU are patient zero, sort of. You're not alone and don't feel too bad because like I said, even nice girlfriends can have it and still have spotless vaginas, it's just fate.

>I had a girlfriend who had mouth herpes and I never got it from her because we never fooled around when she was broken out.
She sounds based. The chick who gave it to me didn't tell me, bit my lip half the night, and took a loud shit the next morning, didn't care when I told her apart from the fact she didn't know cold sores were caused by herpes. She has a masters degree in something.

Not for her but I would for other women
Maybe Gillian Anderson

I wasn't gonna.

A relative kissing you when you were a kid, sharing a glass or food with someone who had it. You can easily get it without fooling around.

khv is kissless handholdless virgin

too late roastie, already had all the sex i want

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>tfw got the vaccine

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>didn't care when I told her apart from the fact she didn't know cold sores were caused by herpes. She has a masters degree in something.
Sorry about your book-smart babe, fren. Anyway, just be more careful and you'll be ok. Yeah, that chick was based as fuck, basically a nazi and cute as a button, who would not hurt me..except when we broke up BUT aside from that she kindly guards the herp to herself, yes. She's got a good man to herself somewhere and I am quite sure that he doesn't have herpes/cold sores from her, unless she found a guy who's in your boat. Don't let this get you down, user.

>khv is kissless handholdless virgin
Oh dang, sorry. You'll get what you want, but you got to work on yourself. It's hard for many, what can I say?

I wish I had a right wing gf, but even my liberal ex gets wet for me once in a while, i guess they don't mind as long as you're not ugly.

I'm good, the first year is over and I haven't been dating, took it as a sign that I should stop having casual sex.

*was kind of talking to two anons in that last big post, sorry for the confusion.

>Have casual sex
>Don't get tested
>Wtf why do I have HPV?

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I never understood the whole ex-but-still-fucking-them-thing. Whatever works I guess, but it sounds dangerous.

>I'm good, the first year is over and I haven't been dating, took it as a sign that I should stop having casual sex.
Good. I never liked casual sex myself, it's empty and feels evil, plus it's super awkward and I hate that morning after, you know? Where you both know this is it, but you bullshit for a bit, maybe a day and then nothing? Just too empty for me. I need love, not just lust.

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I'm not fucking her, but she's been around and I can tell when I'm getting her motor running by her face. Even when I say offensive shit. Not going to fuck her either, she's got someone new and the past belongs in the past. Casual sex was a horrible meme, super depressing and just bad if you give a shit about yourself.

>. Casual sex was a horrible meme, super depressing and just bad if you give a shit about yourself.
and others.

Cancer is a broad term for out of control growth caused by mutations in DNA. Usually we think of these mutations as being caused by stuff like cigarette smoke or UV light, but viruses can cause alterations in DNA that lead to cancer as well. HPV especially has been known to cause cancer.

So yeah, while you can’t catch cancer directly from someone else, you 100% can catch a cancer causing virus from someone else.

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>you 100% can catch a cancer causing virus from someone else.
Let's hope that's rare or at least confined to sex maniacs who fuck everyone and everything they can.

good point

purdy illness snowflake slide or PISS for short.

It's rare.
cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm

>rare
>gives link showing it's common

wtf I'm a hermit now.

He is a stockbroker. How will this revelation affect his business?

"Pork bellies have bottomed out!"

I thought sex with anyone who looks like they could possibly be underage was illegal in australia

>he fell for the Have sex meme
Oh nononono

Good. Don't.

no, but drawing it is

bummer , I like eating out women

>Have sex

Hmmmm

>Trump does this
>Trump
>Trump does thing
>Trump calls guy
>Trump
>Trump

CNN was a mistake

I had no idea cancer worked like that

>mfw 'have sex' is the new 'kill yourself'

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The HPV virus causes genetic mutations in your DNA that leads to cancerous cells. Ironically the HPV strain that causes cancer is not the genital warts causing kind. It's the strain that shows no physical symptoms that causes cancer.

i got hpv1 and got a wart on my dick, is that the cancer causing strain?

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no you are fine, the cancer causing strain doesn't cause warts

YFW your ass cancer gives your husband throat cancer

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I would eat out the corpse of hitlers asshole for lupus

Transmissible cancer exists, just not in humans barring freak accidents involving surgeons.
Dogs have a sexual transmissible cancer.

He was eating that ass like groceries

i didnt thnik you could catch cancer lol

for the chance

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im strictly against it...but for this woman i would absolutely do it.

>didn't get vaccine as kid
>go to doctor
>ask for vaccine
>doctor argues with me for 10 mins over how I probably don't need it since I might already have it
>finally gives it to me

Bitch just stick the needle in my arm I don't want dick cancer

this vid should help explain
youtu.be/pgnfQEXq020

you don't need because you already have the antibodies for it

til death do us part

It really does, moreso than you might even think.

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they tell fags to get it so it must do something

get the fuck off of my board, roastie. such a fucking roastie your parents vaccinated you against stds. it's unbelievable how they knew the sort of legacy you'd start creating yourself. slut.

JUST

>Lick woman's cunt
>Get throat cancer
>When infected, lick woman's anus
>Give her anal cancer

lmao

>tfw devout Catholic
>tfw never had sex
>tfw no STDs or cancers of any kind

Purity's not just some meme, bros, it's actually pretty good to avoid sex until you get married. It spares you from a lot of painful shit around your penis and balls.

your doctor is retarded, yes you most likely have a strand of if but there are like 30, the vaccine covers 10 or more (don't remember the number), so even if you already have a few the vaccine cover it will save you from getting the others.

Yeah, not getting HPV.

Sounds like a cross contamination issue. Pussy, to mouth to ass.

>but even my liberal ex gets wet for me once in a while, i guess they don't mind as long as you're not ugly.
wait you still give sex to sluts when they ring you, like for free. you like to be their janitor?

>Eating pussy and ass is dangerous for you
CLOWN WORLD

in the real world pale girls have dark pigmented assholes unless they bleach them.

IT'S HAPPENING!!!!

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fags have like almost 1000+ sexuals partners over their lifetime, they get exotic strains of HIV, HPV, Herpes and etc

You can get hepatitis from ingesting shit.

and worms, there is a intestinal worm outbreak in San Francisco right now

>San Francisco
WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?

I quit having sex a good ten years ago. I'll do it again with whatever chick I marry.

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>have sex
no thanks, i like living free of cancer and infection

based and confidence-pilled

kek

based disease free user

It reduces the risk of infection by a large margin but that doesn’t mean you’re %100 safe.
>t. Kissless virgin who somehow got a genital wart on his dick.

Like, fresh out of Desprate Housewives makeup chair from season one, or today's sun destroyed, saggy butt Merissa?

Reminder to all anons who want to HAVE SEX
get the HPV vaccine

>tfw Clown World is going to kill everyone who inhabits it from painful STDs

This is literally exactly what happens in the musical Rent. You just fucking laugh at all the dumb fucking faggots in Rent, because they're all dying of a disease they could easily have avoided if they weren't such sex-hungry queers. This is why Rent is awful, by the way, fuck that dumb musical. Imagine trying to pervert the meaning of La Boheme with your disgusting faggot trash.

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hope it doesn't get into your brain and eat your hippocampus
youtube.com/watch?v=b3l2DsVXMps

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Im not sure you understand how HPV caused cancer works

And a vasectomy.

That's why they call it rent: Because they aren't going to live.

>all this can be traced back to that one faggot flight attendant who got BLACKED in Africa and brought it to Western countries

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youtube.com/watch?v=c62C_yTUyVg

>All chads gonna die from throat cancer
Feels good to be an incel

>flight attendant
they are the most promiscuous people on earth

Jesus how'd that happen?

GAY flight attendant too. So promiscuity x 100

All our uptight grandparents were right. Fuck all queers, they're disgusting and have filled the world with disease. We need to criminalize sodomy again as a matter of public health.

It's either Chipotle or Taco Bell

Someone give me the low down on this

I was told cancer isn't contagious, bros...

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oUH NO NON ON ONO NO N

How often do you need to get that hahah

Being an incel is better than having a chronic STD.

Read the headline in the picture in OP, you fucking snail.

Celebs are so much more sophisticated than me. I would never have dreamed giving a woman ass cancer with my tongue

that was then. youtube.com/watch?v=5drjr9PmTMA

How does sex feels like guys?

Did the anal cancer give the guy throat cancer or did the throat cancer give the girl anal cancer, I literally don't know what the fuck is even going on.

It's ok. Not really as great as everyone says.

Your retarded birth gave them both cancer.

>incels get the last laugh
Truly he who laughs last, laughs best.

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Like you're trying not to breath but only on your dick with cum. So you're trying not to cum for like 5-10 minutes to at a least 40 minutes if you're good to an hour.

it's like pooping but someone is also watching you

its good if she lets you put it in her butt

I bet they rub their clit and think about black cock when you have your face in their ass. You're a cuck.

>Yea Forums full of arse-licking degenerates
>”h-have sex incel”
eat more shit faggots lmao

>incels will never spread their seed and make retarded offspring
>degenerates will die of butthole diseases
the future’s looking good for fellow normalfags and future boomers

>get HPV vaccine
>get to eat hot redhead ass
Boy that was hard

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>Lick your wife's pussy
>Get throat cancer
>Lick your wife's ass
>She gets ass cancer
Based

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>He doesn't want to die eating ass

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I feel like this is how Jack Nicholson is going to go out thus solidifying him as the most based actor in existence.

>get HPV vaccine
>think it gives you license to eat ass all day
>get several forms of throat cancer because they can only inoculate against 4 out of 100+ HPV strains.

>mfw I've eaten the ass of a kpop girl when she was visiting my hometown

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youtube.com/watch?v=9sXlOvRZeoc&t=66s

>had tons of sex since middle school
>eaten random girls asses on first dates
>definitely going to get cancer
>mfw

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>had sex with one girl ever
>she said she had hpv but it was normal
>I'm now going to die
are there laws for this?

I hope you do, you humble-bragging fuck.

Don't pretend it wasn't worth it faggot

>some little 19 twink kid at my work sent in his medical records to the management office
>says on his he has had an HPV vaccination
>mfw this kid is already having more sex than I have in my entire life

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>eating ass gives you cancer
No shit.

>SODOMITES BTFO

>since middle school
jesus fuck you are a lying sack of shit. stfu

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this desu

virgin here. what the fuck is HPV

I'm actually not. I lost my virginity in 7th grade to a blonde girl named Becky if you don't count the time I was molested when I was 8.

if true, good. I hope you die painfully and slowly

High Penis Volume

something you get if you have sex

my jewdar is off the charts

HePatitis V

Gamers rise up

Heimar Papalabadous Vore

yeah im deleting my tinder after reading this

>tfw listening to fucking Iago, Jafar's parrot, talk about eating Katherine Zeta-Jones' ass

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go on..

Nooooo she was so Milfy in Desperate Housewives.

Too Milfy for her own good. That ass literally got munched to death.

>tfw balls itchy and pee hole is tingling
Don't mind HPV, but I really don't want herpes

he probably sucked her prolapse like a stubby cock, desu.

more realistic is
>he licks her puss a bunch
>gets throat cancer
>its dorment atm
>fucks her puss
>get hpv on dick
>fucks her ass
>she gets hpv on her ass
>he licks her ass speeds up the cancer
>cancer is dorment
>throat cancers come up
>later ass cancer awakens

That's hot as fuck. I wish I had a gf/wife. I've always wanted to eat ass.

Irene from Red Velvet, no one will believe me, but it really happened. I was browsing grindr to find some cute twink to suck my dick, and there was some cute Asian guy, turned out it was a girl, and it was her. We met up and had some drinks and ended up fucking, she told me she was using grindr because she wanted to meet someone for some fun, but to keep a low profile while she was visiting.

More complicated than the life cycle in Alien.

kill yourself nigger

den how i know if i got IT TELL ME, BEFORE MY DICK FALLS OFF!!!

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This was the first time I laughed all day. Thanks you, user.

Incels will never have this problem. Incels always get the last laugh.

>Irene from Red Velvet

I tell round-eye I KPOP star. He no can tell us apart. He eat my ass. Go back work family donut shop. Me raff arr day.

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there a girl that looks like this in my accelerated physics program

Having actual sex with her pink pussy, probably

>>eaten random girls asses on first dates
I hope they were prepared for that

Well hardy harr harr aren’t you just a little smarty pants

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wikipedia the shape of the HPV molecule. You're going to get a laugh

Not looking let me guess, either it looks like the State of (((Israel)))) or a $wastika, amirite?

Hot take here, sorry inb4 if this has been said before but Mosely was really Walt Disney who was really Hitler. There, solved that tin foil hat conspiracy theory today.

just a coincidence, goys

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i guess i'm out of the loop
does eating ass give you cancer?
haha, what a world.

holy shit

BRUH MOMENT

The fuck? No way it looks like the Star of David wtf?

Was this poem written by ee cummings?

kek

Never fooled or played around and I got from sharing a drink with a relative who didnt know they had it. at the time.

my aunt is a massive lesbo and has been eating poon since she was 17. she's over 40 now and still regularly gets ass. how the fuck is she still alive?

>tfw no ginger mommygf to fuck in the ass
Jdimsa.

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HPV is common (and difficult to test for, since so many people have it), the strains that specifically cause cancers are multi-valent (usually from getting too many strains of the virus because you are literally a slut) and complex.

stop eating random dude's assholes you dumb fag
this

Why would the number of people who have a disease affect the difficulty of testing for it other than making tests cheaper given the increase in the customer base and the economy of scale?

EVERY TIME

I see you there, Adam Eget

I got Cole sores from a kids water fountain that to this day at least once yearly I break out with. I now question how did herpes come into contact on a primary school water fountain and every time I think of reasons I just get fucking mad? Probably some Jew teacher was eating out his hot redhead wifes ass, deepthroating his fag lover and pedo molesting little kids theories but hey whatever have sex incels amirite?

Most HPV isn't contracted through sex acts. I've had cold sores since I was a kid as well, and I didn't get them by gargling pussy. The good news is that getting the face kind makes you immune to the other kinds.

With grape jelly?

LMAO imagine having such weak genetics that you basically don't sterilize everything once then gets double cancer and dies.

Also do americans like exposing themselves like this? I can't understand who had the idea to use this as news and who in interested in readin this.

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