ITT: Directors that you would beat in a fight
This pretentious faggot.
uwe boll
Rian Johnson
David lynch
>David Lynch
He'd take you to the shadow realm and fucking destroy you mentally and spiritually. He's a black belt transcendental meditator.
>threw a table at a wall in film school and got expelled, then re-did the scene in Bronson
>directed Drive even though he failed his driver's license exam 7 times
>directed OGF only so he could visit toy shops in Thailand then got upset because his wife put his toys in the attic
>can't shoot his movies in non-chronological order
>color blind
>dyslexic
>lost virginity at 24
>proposed to his first girlfriend (now wife), she initially said no but kept the ring
>claims his wife’s father is Fritz Lang. Even his wife doesn’t know why he believes this and Lang would’ve been 83 when she was conceived
>believes in Thai ghosts because his daughter sees them and Jodo told him some spooky shit reading tarot cards
>tried to kill his stepmom but the gun didn't go off
>wears a towel when he's shooting a movie to keep his energy inside him or something
>Mads says he can't talk to him off-set because Nic can literally only talk about cinema
>kissed Goose on the red carpet at Cannes
>kissed Elle on the red carpet at Cannes
>cried on live Danish TV because Lars von Trier called his dad gay
>has deluded himself into thinking he's close friend with David Lynch, randomly brings up "David" in conversations, while other people have no idea who he's talking about
>copied Lynch’s “dear twitter friends” thing
>calls himself the new Friedkin, claims OGF is a masterpiece, to Friedkin's face
>wife picks his clothes
>despite his wife trying her best to dress him correctly, he still attends event dressed like a teenager while everyone else is dressed properly
>almost got his now wife to run away on their second date because he told her he was going to show her a beautiful, emotional film and then forced her to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
>described The Neon Demon as being about him picturing himself as a 16-year-old girl
>constantly kept mentioning that Elle Fanning had "just turned eighteen" at Cannes, audience always remained silent
>has no chin
The Drunken Master.
He’s so lucky he doesn’t have a chin he can probably just sink his amorphous head into his neck like a turtle and prevent a serious blow
>Uwe Boll
Probably all of them im like 130 pounds
She's four feet tall, so it should be easy.
Undefeated.
Unmatched.
Unbeatable.
Piss drinking cuck chickened out when he found out one of the critics was a trained boxer.
Rian Johnson could probably be defeated with slaps alone.
>5'3"
I'd beat this substance abuser to death with Warwick's decaying corpse while making lightsaber sounds.
riley stearns
>mention MEW and ewan and call him a cuck
>notice his eyes getting watery
>single tear slides down his cheek and gets lost in his soi beard
>he goes for a BJJ takedown
>too weak and small to actually get me on the ground
>clip him once in the jaw and he's out like a light because his martial arts doesn't have any striking (lol)
would pay for the opportunity
Riley would unironically fuck you up
He's been hardened by loss
You would lose,Riley is the type of carrying a knife and trying to gut you while crying about MEW