I'm 1 hour 30 minutes in, when does it get scary?

If you actually expect to be scared by movies you are a 14 year old girl.

it’s “friggin superior” get it right or pay the price.

pls not again my heart can’t bear it!! I swear onions horror 5.0 will be the death of me!!

I'm the second poster. I reply in generally the same way because there needs to be push-back against the effeminate redditor horror movies trying to get pushed on this board. You write like a black.

>I'm the second poster.
okay this is friggin epic and based, friggin epically based! can I get le autograph from you xD??

Zoomer detected.

Yikes

I see now that you a little kid under 25. Cringe.

>UG LEE! UG LEE!

well I am finnish. just don't understand why horror is viewed as scary by any adult. isn't it just a genre? no one cries at drama, no one gets pumped up by action. why does horror get shit on?

>being scared of images on a screen

>You write like a black
you outed yourself zoomer nigger

>youngest sibling attempts to annoy everyone in the thread for attention he couldn't earn IRL

>why yes, I did grow up in a trailer
>how did you know?

umm yeah thats gonna be a big BASED and epically redpilled from me dawg.
holy friggin spit y’all are wild up in this bitch, like wow... just wow

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based boomer
I figured no one would get it

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>villain is a goat
Lmao

The thread is about making fun of the OP movie, not discussing it. Your IQ is extremely low (which explains why you have a Yea Forums folder after 2010).

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this but unironically

>posted from my soi phone
Autism is naming all the pictures in your anonymous anime website reaction pictures folder. Grow some self-awareness.

You finished what

Why can't autists understand atmosphere? Can't they feel it or is there something in their brain that makes them unable to enjoy art unless it's simple and rational?

>the finnish people are all emotionless robots
Why do you even watch movies?

>why does everyone make fun of me for being a girl brain?

lol the thread was made to mock a shitty horror film faggot

IT SAYS HORROR ON THE INTERNET SO I WAITED FOR THE LOUD SOUND AND A BOOGA BOOGA FACE WITH IT

I don’t feel like getting out of bed yet, lay off. I’ll post from my computer later, I promise. just to make it up to you.

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>I don’t feel like
No one asked about your feelings, disgusting queer. Return to twitter.

I blame the marketing of the film which has confused all the low iq horror fans. It’s not horror. It’s a folktale taken from stories from that time period. And it’s a pretty good one.

Maybe it's a character driven vs. plot driven issue, too. They're too autistic to understand the characters so they prefer the slasher. Probably why they prefer plot driven 1 dimensional capeshit characters too.

4 years have passed since it's release and there has STILL not been one single actual argument why The Witch is a bad film

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Wouldst thou like to live deliciously

>posts on 4chin whilst watching a movie

put your phone down, zoomer scum

>I blame the marketing
You mean all the shill threads here that pretended it was horror. You can't blame people for pointing out that it's not what they were told it was supposed to be. Faggot.

>it is release
No one owes retards arguments
>reddit space

great film, great performances even from the kids which is rare these days

>gets mad at me for phoneposting
>tell him I will rectify the situation to make him more comfortable in his lame unoriginal horror trolling thread
>still mad
I can’t win with you people.

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>pedantic and childish
a winning combination if ever I’ve seen one

>everyone sees life through a lens of emotion like meeee!!!!!
When are you going to grow up and start acting like a straight man, kid?
>nigger
Nigger. I win.

never and no u
does that about cover it sweaty?

Watch my movie instead queer! It has actual consequences and the violence is brutal and honest because it happens to people you care about. Stop being a sensitive pussy.

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horror movies aren't supposed to be scary like how comedy movies aren't supposed to be funny
you should know that by now

Is a comedy only judged by how many setup-punchline jokes it has? Is a horror only judged by how many le spooks it has?

No one talks about Dr. Strangelove like it's the most "le funny xD" comedy ever made, they say it's a great film, no matter the situational humor in it. Same with In Bruges, no one watches that film and claps to himself HAHAHA OMG SO FUNNY HAHHAHAHAAH BEST COMEDY EVER, but everyone praises it because it's a great film first and foremost, the banter is just one component of it.
Same with horror, you judge it as a film first and foremost, not by how many ebin spooks it has.

You take these studio slapped genre tags as if it's the definite and non negotiable, a film can either be a strict slapstick comedy or a serious drama and nothing inbetween for you. You don't judge a drama by how much "drama" there is in the film, you judge it as a film. Same should be done for any film

Yeah, being such an ADD ridden autist that you can't focus for more than 2minutes, therefore you can't hold on to the suspense and atmosphere, you just scroll facebook for half the time of the movie
Go chug you aderral and try again, dumbo

shouldn't drama be tragedy mixed with comedy, not just tragedy?

movies are supposed to be dramatic. The Witch isn't.

I don't know mashing up a baby into fine paste is fairly dramatic I'd say

these kind of people don’t understand nuance, it has to be one thing or the other or it makes them very uncomfortable.
it’s kind of a waste of time arguing with them and trying to get them to understand something because they are literally incapable and/or willfully ignorant.

I see you’re zooming too fast to comprehend greatness

I'm gonna post the image bros

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make sure you dilate first

THIS CANT BE HAPPENING TO ME!!!
NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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