/got/: D&D edition

nth for the CUTEST Westeros couple!

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AAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

SAVE ME THREE EYED CROW

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STANNIS

>I defeated your uncle Victarion and his Iron Fleet off Fair Isle, the first time your father crowned himself. I held Storm's End against the power of the Reach for a year, and took Dragonstone from the Targaryens. I smashed Mance Rayder at the Wall, though he had twenty times my numbers. Tell me, turncloak, what battles has the Bastard of Bolton ever won that I should fear him?

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tags:

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Ok shill

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Yeah Stannis is a huge dick, and the only reason he hasn't done anything SUPER fucked up yet, is because other characters are stopping him.

What would you think if you saw a close friend of his bite him?
Hint: this is a pun

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/got/

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BASED

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What scene / scenario is this?

We looked for you in the catalog.

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Stannis will be the books' equivalent of the Night King
>suffers military losses
>loses Shireen
>completely desperate but still determined to win
>gets offered an army in exchange for ensuring the passage of the Others south
>becomes the defacto leader of the army of the dead and agent of the Others
>following the rise of the "dark lord" (who's completely convinced he's right) without realizing it, is something George would do since he's already doing something similar with Dany
>already "married to a demon" (Mel)
>holds the Nightfort the spookiest place on the Wall with a magical passageway (theorized to be the way the original Night's King brought his Other bride South)
>fits with the Others being apparently intelligent in the books
>gives a face to the threat of the Others while keeping them shrouded in mystery
>George ordered an official "blue Melisandre" figure to be made
>Stannis is iron who will "break before he bends"
>the hero who thought he was going to end the Long Night becomes its harbinger

where's your sista

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What is EC?

Bran is everything you should hate in a character, someone who was carried by other people, granted power he didn't deserve, doesn't take great responsibility with his great power. Hes cruel, he thinks he is god and he can grant his idea of free will, even though he's just a man who also has free will and that his actions have consequences. And he won in the end. Anyone who defends this character is scum

t. Meera

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King Ronnel Arryn of the Vale (shota) is asking his mother (Queen Regent Sharra Arryn), if he can go for a ride on the nice lady's (Visenya Targaryen) dragon (Vhagar).
youtube.com/watch?v=raPTOg2TJQk

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Why did the show dumb everything down so there was only the great houses and basically almost no other houses? The Reach is the worst offender for this, House Florant and House Hightower are huge players in the Reach politics.

Imagine if the kingsmoot and we got to see which houses sided with Yara and which sided with Euron.

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I actually love how impossibly big and complex the castles that Gurrm describe are. I hear he didn't really comprehend just how big the shit he described really was until the showrunners showed him The Wall but that makes them all much more cool imo

You know what it is

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Last sentences

>The other two pulled away from her breasts and added their voices to the call, translucent wings unfolding and stirring the air, and for the first time in hundreds of years, the night came alive with the music of dragons.

>I’m not dead either.

>Up into the air he jerked, kicking and twisting, up and up and up.

>“I’m Pate,” the other said, “like the pig boy.”

>And in their hands, the daggers.

AGOT>ADWD>ACOK>AFFC>ASOS

Passive aggressive bullshitter just like the fictional character you worship

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The answer is obvious, they can only fit so much into a TV show

Because no one actually cares about this autistic shit. My eyes always glaze over whenever he goes on about houses and families and who is related to who.

Listening to the audio books while reading this thread. Bran's about to fall out of the tower. Max comfiness.

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Show version looks way nicer

Holly Earl would be a perfect cast as Jon and Dany daughter

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My eyes glaze over when he goes on about the food and what the fool is doing in the corner and what the drapery in the upper left side looks like as the wind rustles it and what the bastard son of Lord Faggot is laughing at as he picks at a scab. God damn it George.

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SHES RIGHT THERE NED NOW IT BEGINS

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It should've been Radmure who sailed west in the end.

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deranged autists that can't seperate actor from character

What would a resurrected Dany even do besides fly north to suck Jon's cock? Burn Winterfell and Sansa to the ground? Kill as many Dwarfs as she can?

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Remember how we got to see Arya and Sansa's reaction to Jon's ancestry?

Remember how we got to see everyone's reaction to Dany's death?

Remember how we got to see Yara's reaction to Theon's death?

Remember how everyone kinda forgot about checking to see if Cersei is dead except Tyrion?

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Kys self inserter

Meera is Bran's queen though

This. It's based how he corrects people's grammar and his autism is cool up to a point, but he's a borderline sociopath who enables demon worship

Remember how we got to see Jon being livid at Sansa for breaking a sacred vow made to him under a heart tree that directly contributed to the mental breakdown of his lover and the subsequent death of hundreds of thousands of innocents?
Powerful stuff.

Leaf is his queen. Meera was a dogsled.

Bran doesn't care about having a queen or doing anything except playing games with humanity

Something like that maybe, Dany has visions of fighting a blue eyed king with no shadow on the Neck. Also Aemon said a false light brings you into more darkness.

This could mean Brienne is azor ahai because she is gonna kill him, im pretty sure

>Remember how we got to see Jon being livid at Sansa for breaking a sacred vow made to him under a heart tree that directly contributed to the mental breakdown of his lover and the subsequent death of hundreds of thousands of innocents?

And gets rewarded by staging a coup and declaring herself queen of the north over jon.

Sure, but Meera is still pretty salty about Bran's "thank's" after they arrived at Winterfell.

S8e5 was kino. Everything on either side absolute shit

Sansa also seemingly purposefully got Rickon and almost Jon killed through deception.

Bran, 3ECrow, told her he couldn't be a lord just to keep her assassin's knives from his throat.

We weren’t there

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Jon is a broken man in the end. He knows he lost, he doesn't care anymore

The heart tree means diddly shit to Salsa if I'm not mistaken. Doesn't she pray to the 7 Gods and only uses the excuse to pray to the heart tree in King's Landing to get away from everyone?

yes

she also gets her direwolf, friends, family and eby norfmen killed

she's supposed to worship both but in the show everyone is a progressive atheist so yeah it means shit

Official who should be king of the seven kingdoms at the end of the show ranking:

Non-great houses and women excluded

1. Gendry - part of the royal house of Baratheon, young, knows the common people, war hero
2. Jon - part of the royal house of Targaryen, young, commander, former king of the north, warden of the north, lord commander of the night's watch, free folk
3. Edmure - great house of Tully, average age, married with a kid, lord of riverrun, war hero
4. Unmanned Prince Martell - great house of Martell, average age, war hero, took power from a violent coup of women who killed the rightful prince of drone
5. Robin - great house of tully, young

Tyrion is excluded to to kinslaying and orchestrated a coup to have jon queenslay, along with being accused of kingslaying.

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1. Nobody - half the kingdoms want to be independent, and all but a handful are in complete ruins with no power to protect a meaningless throne

>Remember how we got to see Yara's reaction to Theon's death?
Worst offender really

>family trees and relationships are easy to fol...

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>part of the royal house of Targaryen
no, just a bastard
>lord commander of the
>free folk
this disqualifies him even more

>1. Gendry - part of the royal house of Baratheon, young, knows the common people, war hero
lowborn bastard
>2. Jon - part of the royal house of Targaryen, young, commander, former king of the north, warden of the north, lord commander of the night's watch, free folk
wants to be a free folk savage on the inside
>3. Edmure - great house of Tully, average age, married with a kid, lord of riverrun, war hero
good choice
>4. Unmanned Prince Martell - great house of Martell, average age, war hero, took power from a violent coup of women who killed the rightful prince of drone
doran is still alive but doing fucking nothing productive
>5. Robin - great house of tully, young

arryn, you mean, and a suckling babe not long for this world

i unironically think the best performance in the show was Oberyn but i've never really seen anyone say it. He did a really good job of playing him imo, even with Dorne being gutted

try and read the old testament lol

Remember when we got to see Arya's reaction to Sandor's death?
Remember when we got to see Brienne's reaction to Jamie's death?

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-low. Maesters should do their fucking job

The world is finally rid of Targaryen fucking shits and you want to uphold their Seven Kingdoms construct rather than let the Lords rule themselves

>The world is finally rid of Targaryen fucking shits and you want to uphold their Seven Kingdoms construct rather than let the Lords rule themselves

It should be reformed into a holy roman empire system with a parliament. Throwing out the single unified westeros (lands above the wall should now be part of the kingdom because the wall is gone) with a single language makes no sense.

top is retarded though, it would be an absolute logistical nightmare and insanely difficult to defend. Sure you can sit on top in your castle, whilst you get bombarded by ships and only have one front on land to be cutoff from everyone

>secluded from the world and spends the rest of her life mostly alone, crying, talking to herself and hallucinating seeing all the people who died before her
good

Reminder the Reach would be Afghanistan tier civil war if the Tyrells died cause all the houses would be fighting each other for control.

t. Sharra

Dornishmen will not replace us!

Is Leyton gonna get off his ass anytime soon and do something about this madness

Only fags dont believe in Jaime x Brienne

tits or gtfo

In your dreams dannytranny

t. shareblue

Gendry will pull a henry tudor and become the bastard who avenges his deposed house and father

Leyton is dead nigga

Reminder fAegon will show up in the show and restore Targaryen rule.

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The irony in this is that victarion was a dumbass, Storms End was easily defensible and Mace the Ace didn't want to engage, the Targs were already decidedly defeated by that point and Mance had an army of undisciplined wildlings.

Stannis achieved nothing of note.

ONE REALM
ONE GOD
ONE KING

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>Be literally carved into a mountain
>insanely difficult to defend

Dude what, something like that would be impossible to siege. Throwing rocks at a mountain doesn't do anything

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This. Based Robb is the most accomplished military commander of the series.

>written by: Dirk Strider

>As a kid, climbs a tower and peeps in on some sex
>Gets superpowers as a result of being pushed after being discovered
>Uses his newly acquired superpowers... To peep in on more sex
IT'S LIKE POETRY
And they say this guy's character arc was weak. KINO is what it was.

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except even characters in-story list his victories as great accomplishments, even his enemies such as Tywin lannister. What youre babbling about is non-canon and not supported by the story itself.

>Jaime: I’m sorry I pushed you out of the tower, I just didn’t want you to see me having sex with my sister
>Bran: I’m glad, you gave me the ability to see every time you and your sister ever had sex

It would be very easy to siege most sieges were camping outside and starving the occupants out and casterly rock looks very easy to surround

BASED

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Iron fleet NEVER lost a fight before. Victarion is dumb in anything non-seafaring related, and you will see when he will the wreck slavers fleet.

Storm's end wasnt about defending the castle, but having the balls to force the men inside to do not surrender, and he did that.

Book battle King's Landing was a tattical masterpiece by Stannis, and he was commanding the standing army on the land, it was one of his wife dumb Florent family member that commanded the fleet and took the wildfire bait. Without the Lannister-Tyrell alliance he would have still took the city wildfire or not.

In the book the Mance assault was a full blow surprise strike against an army reading to prepare another assault, with giants and mammoths. By that logic all Robb's victories were cowardly, as he loved surprise attacks.

Lastly he is considered a veteran and competent commander by both his brothers, Ned and even Tywin himself. GTFO showfag

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So does Bran enjoy more than just rape? Is he expanding to other incest tag as well, He was definitely watching Jon and Dany fuck

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He likes watching everything, but rape is his preference

unironically what was the tactical masterpiece of his kings landing invasion?
all i read was 'dude charge into the bay in massive ships that get bombarded from every direction and land on the shore with a battering ram

Chars in the books are not impartial, you would be dumb to take what they say at face value.
The only truly impressive victory by Stannis was against the iron fleet, the rest were meh.

>all i read
all i watched is what you meant get out danytranny not even the characters in the books agree with your shit take

Almost any time in the books mentions he is a tactical genius and a veteran commander babble your head canon but it simply isnt supported by anything. gonna lmao when stannis survives longer than dany in the books.

Im talking about the book battle. There he surrounded the city with a land army (commanded by him) and a fleet (commanded by a dumbass relative of his wife) planning to force the city defenders to split in two opposite side of the city. Also he planned with a group of pro-Baratheon conspirators, the Stag-mens, to open the main city doors while the defenders were busy at the docks and on the walls. Only the alliance of Tyrion and Varys managed to discovered the conspirators before the battle started, and still he would have won without the betrayal of the eternal Tyrell and the stupidity of Robb's decision to not inform Edmure about his plan to let Tywin advance in the Riverlands to trap him there

Tywin should impartially talk bad about him for being one of his enemies, and yet he only talked about him with high regard, claiming he wa sure Stannis was the greatest danger even in book 1, when Stannis had nothing but Dragonstone, while Renly had 100k mens behind him and Robb was winning battle after battle

Old gods > r'hllor > drowned god > seven >horsenigs > great shepherd > all

our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ>all

Also in the book he is about to obtain a win against all odds with a genious move involving frozen lakes and lamps, and maybe later even managing to take Winterfell by faking his own death, if some fan theories are true

You can be a tactical genius and still not have many impressive victories under your belt.

And are you really using Tywin's assessments of military skill as proof, when he got BTFO at every turn by Robb?

>comparing fictional gods
Who cares

the nightlamp theory is so convincing im sure its canon. the stuff beyond that, im not too sure

If i remember correctly Robb only BTFOed armies led by either Jaime or some Tywin lackeries, not Tywin himself. Also Tywin is more of a strategists, he dont win all the battles like Robb (a tactical genius, very different from a strategic genius) but he won all the wars. So he should know better about who is the greatest menace in the war

>still desperately trying to assert her head canon that the story itself contridicts
lmaoing at you

The difference between this reply
And this one is staggering.

Tywin is a fucking retard. Not sure why that dude has a reputation of being the smartest guy in the series. Name one thing he touched that didn't turn to shit.

Also dont forget
>tyrion
>varys
>LF
>ned
>ironborn in general
>even renly admits stannis is a seasoned warrior

So all the wise characters consider stannis a threat and Cersei and Joff are portrayed as fools when they downplay his threat

Keep babbling your head canon fool

except Jesus Christ is real.

Name a better or more accurate theory

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>Tywin is more of a strategists, he dont win all the battles like Robb (a tactical genius, very different from a strategic genius) but he won all the wars
He won the war out of sheer luck his overall riverlands strategy was retarded.

As a lord, he obtain everything he wanted and made the Lannisters the masters of the continent. His downfall was being a shitty father and nothing else

N+A=D

His Riverland goal was only stopped initially, as he planned a quick defeat of the Tullys to keep the Starks stuck in the North. But a true strategist can manage to turn the war in his favor even after the setbacks. He distracted Robb sending fodder army after fodder army and actually baited Robb into some pointless raiding in the Westerlands while he should have focused his campaign into reaching King's Landing. Luck tend to help more people who actually work to increase the opportunities to allow some fortonous events in their favours

Is it true that the reason D&D made Stannis the way they did because he was supposed to represent a hardcore Christian and anti-Semite (he burns people for their religion in the show unlike the books) ? It’s kind of weird because Benioff has benefited from jewish nepotism more than maybe anyone who has ever lived and yet still he despises religious white people.

attacking by land and sea is 'genius'?
also not much point considering the antler men as genius if they got caught and did nothing lmao

his genius plan was sailing in and attacking the walls with foot. With no siege weapons, no attempt to barrage the walls, not even any scaling gear

>Unmanned Prince Martell
I know they really neutered Dorne in the show but they probably didn’t go quite that far.

>Still quoting the non-canon show battle

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He unironically dont have a name. Check any wiki

>unmanned
>unnamed

>On Yea Forums discussing show
Wow crazy i know

>hate a man of duty and honour
>shit all over the north and make sure they dont remember
>the concept of honour is continously mocked even to the point that every northern character including neds own children mock his honour
>cuck jon out their stories
>hardcore renlyfags
>all religious characters are fanatics like melly or corrupt
>all firmly religious characters such as brenne, davos ans sansa are progressive athiests
Yep theres definitely something there

>castle blacked
What happens here?

>unmanned
>unnamed
>unknown
New house martell words coming through

They’re going to have to remove the spear from the coat of arms

For me, it's Theon Greyjoy.

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*TOOT*

Hey remember when Alfie's older sister made that song shitting all over him for being a lazy fuck who just sat around all day smoking weed and jerking off, and then he landed one of the biggest roles on the most popular show of all time while she became some literal nobody that just bitches on tweeter about muh soggy knees?
Good times.

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Meant for

You cringe, you lose
youtube.com/watch?v=HDSVr7j_-K0

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and his acting is always top tier, always giving top 3 performances.
His monologue in season 2 is especially great

Jesus Christ.

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poor nikolaj

just leave the man alone, he is already crushed by the way Jaime turned out

>he is already crushed
kek

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You’re absolutely right. What they did with the northerns is disgusting and Sansa thinking it’s cool to mock Ned. Lord Glover should have fought with Jon at Winterfell in the Long Night. And they cut one of the only times they wrote Brienne as religious.

>leaving that guy in the middle of speaking
That was really rude. He was giving an insightful output too.

Also remember when Alfie told everyone that she lied about being asked to play Yara.
Now shes a washed up shit singer and he's gonna gonna be getting tv and movie roles until he dies. What a man

Post all time fav /got/ maymays

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>Alfie told everyone that she lied about being asked to play Yara.
Fucking based is there a video because i thought she was asked to play yara its pretty sad shed make it up

She was a fairly popular late 00s early 2010s pop singer so im sure she isnt hard done by

I have come to collect my apologies.

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DA IRON PORCH IS MINE BY GIBS ANYONE WHO BE TALKIN SHIT FINNA GET TURNT

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Stannis looks so kino in this comic tier art.

THMASH THA BEETLTHS

THMASH EM

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I miss him
K A NG

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JUSTICE FOR CRESSEN

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Iron price posting from 6 years ago

i’m sorry for saying mean things about you on 4channel

Why'd you stop making the 40K edits

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If they were really Renlyfags, they’d understand how important he and Loras were to one another and would portray the courtly-love element of their romance more accurately. Instead they decided to turn both characters into degenerate manwhores because they don’t believe in honor, loyalty, faithfulness, or true love.

Because Ive only made the one and have no ideas for any others

>Betrays one of his longest serving men and publicly humiliates him

Stannis has no honour.

The rape and bobbyposting

the most beautiful person in all of Westeros

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book sansa would never do some shit like that. she admires her family more and more as the series progresses, and she hates the idea of ruling with fear instead of love

Yes i agree. I feel as if it was less them being renlyfags and more them making renly the better man in order to make stannis come across as worse by comparison

They ARE Renlyfags and they admit to it. It’s just that they are also jews and love degeneracy and can’t really comprehend meaningful relationships between goys.

wrong

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Azor Hotpie will unite the seven kingdoms

tits or gtfo

>sacrifices his life to try and free Stan from the clutches of that foreign whore
>when Davos mentions him, all Stannis says is “Lol he was old and useless”
I’ve hated Stannis since book 2 because of how he treated Cressen. My interpretation of Stan as a character was as a Ned-gone-wrong, where his moral code is technically “honorable” but leaves no room for forgiveness or rewards for loyalty.

>foreign whore

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youtube.com/watch?v=LG_66AJOEOA this one is worse

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>I'd hoped he might be granted a few years of ease and comfort. He had earned that much, at least, but... but he died

You have no clue what youre going on about

>a few years of ease and comfort
>literally make a fool out of him in front of your entire court
>No, the old maester thought, this is not you, not your way, you were always just, always hard yet never cruel, never, you did not understand mockery, no more than you understood laughter.
Melisandre ruined Stannis.

Reminder divorce solves everything
Just have Rhaenyra divorce her seahorse cuck and marry her otouto AND his mother in law.
She should have just channelled Aegon

Inquisitor but with Stannis or Davos. Color scheme is even red.

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He goes onto say that maester cressen is old and needs replaced but then says that he would not like to see him hurt himself on the stairs its just stannis blunt way. Part of stannus character is that he means well but his less than tactful manner of speaking makes him hard to see to good in him.

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Dan Weiss literally said Renly would make the best king of all the contenders

>Robb marries a foreign whore
>Jon marries a foreign whore

Fucking Kings in the north just can’t stay away from foreign pussy

What foreigner will Sansa marry?

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sweet robin (littlefinger's kid)

BLACKED

Taena Merryweather, hopefully

You’re both right. Stannis cared about a Cressen (and other characters like Shireen, Davos, and even Edric) but was always shit at showing affection for anyone. His need to retain followers and desperation to win the war made him act in increasingly “unjust” ways and Mel was a terrible influence on him all around.

Renly is a minor character who dies early on. The only reason I give a shit about him either way is because Loras’ ironclad devotion to him highlights his better qualities, in the same way Davos’ loyalty to Stannis underlines Stannis’ strengths as a leader. Removing that element of Renly and Loras’ stories makes them both shittier characters. Fuck Dabid.

This one just fucking gets me
Here you have a decently written gay romance, genuine, tragic, basically a knight and his queen tier. GRRM did that on purpose I'm sure. If you're a kike set on subversion how do you NOT play that one straight. Imagine the minds you'd turn with that.
It's illogical from all standpoints

jalabhar xho

I like the part in AFFC when Jaime threatens to shove his sword so far up Loras’s ass even Renly wouldn’t be able to find it.

Loras becomes a manwhore, forgets about renly, brienne "one dance" tarth gets the avenge renly story and loras is turned into a victin of homophobia in order to inject modern day politics in a medieval type era. GODS WHAT A SHIT SHOW

I think this is another example of the fundamental problem with D&D’s interpretation of this series. The books are essentially about a world that is completely shit, full of pain and suffering, but populated by people who still care about each other and want to be good. D&D don’t see the value of loyalty, honor, or love, so their versions of characters who embody knightly virtues (Loras) are amoral degenerates motivated by self-interest. This is also why characters like Sansa and Jaime went down the tubes in the show when they’re still decent if conflicted people in the books.

So the takeaway here is Loras was the bottom huh

If the northerners hated Talisa and Dany I’d love to see their reaction to Sansa bringing home this guy

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I think just like in the south theyd think hes a cool exotic dude just wouldnt want him as part of their family

Nobody gives much of a shit if you’re gay in the books - they’ll make fun of you, but as long as you’re discreet it doesn’t seem to matter. Everyone knows Lyn Corbray, Renly, and Loras are fags, but they’re still respected for their various skills. If you believe the Blackfish is gay, then that’s another man whose sexuality doesn’t matter to anyone (except Hoster, but Hoster is autistic about marriages). There was never a need to bring the social justice bullshit into it

That guy Leo Tyrell in Oldtown bullies Alleras for being part Summer Islander and calls his mom a monkey. I don’t think many people approve of Jalabhar Xho

He was indeed in the books.

>in order to inject modern day politics in a medieval type era.
This shit drove me crazy. The longer the show went on the more “modern” it got until the characters are no longer using uniquely archaic language and Dany is wearing a coat my sister wants to take to Burning Man.

Their clinging to Dany’s Meereen plot as a “civil rights” story where everything she does there is wonderful and good is largely why the Mad Queen pivot was the pathetic mess we saw.

The hound

I mean thered assholes everywhere but xho was part of the fucking royal court itself i think that speaks volumes

at one brief moment i thought they were gonna fuck in that scene after the winterfell fight

His family is from the Westerlands, he’s southron but not foreign like Talisa or Melisandre. I think the bigger problem is that he’s a step removed from being lowborn since his grandpa was a kennelmaster

Does someone have the J.A.I.M.E. one?

Robert only kept him around because he likes the idea of conquering the Summer Isles and fucking brown chicks. IIRC Cersei and a few others only think of him as a savage

I genuinely believe this theory

why

But then others like robert and thoros thought he was cool and partied with him.
>cersei being a cunt
whats new

>they never let him fuck
AAAAAAAAA

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THE END THAT WAS PROMISED

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She’s right you know

Who Azor Ahai?

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>behead
>not burn

Burning children because D&D had their characters turn on a dime was apparently the ending that was promised.

So do the iron born have any idea what the drowned god is supposed to look like? Poseidan? Cthulhu? A sea serpent? Its kind of odd hoq we never see some sort of depiction of him

Fair enough. I kind of hope he survives the shit with Margaery, he’s been in every book so far and it would be funny if he somehow lives to the end

The vision Aeron has of the Drowned God speared on the throne describes him as having dripping hair, so I think he’s supposed to be humanoid. God-Euron is the Cthulhu looking one

Jeyne Poole was "frightened" by his looks.
But i don't think racism against black people/summer islanders are a widespread thing outside of the north.

it fits

>finally takes that “song” from Sansa
>I must go to KL, my place is by my brother, killing him
>The Hound dies crushed by a falling Mountain

jeyne poole gets gangbanged by dogs - what does she know

>he could have stayed in the Norf and had as much bird pussy as he wanted for the rest of his life
>actually, I’m going to go south and die for no reason
Was it autism?

never talk shit about jeyne again, i swear to the drowned god i’ll kill you

Anyone else remember when Yara said she wanted to kill “an uncle or two” which confirmed the priest from season six was indeed Aeron (also means it was Aeron who helped Euron torch the Lannister fleet as Theon described in season one) but then in season 8 Euron said he and Yara were the only Greyjoy’s with balls? Well what the fuck happened to Aeron’s balls?

Anyone who has never seen an n word of color before would be startled

He lost them when he started helping Euron instead of “NO GODLESS MAN”ing his way across the Iron Islands

>he could have stayed with Brienne and has as much Amazonian pussy as he wanted
>actually, i'm going to go south and die for no reason

Was Jaime also autistic?

>Well what the fuck happened to Aeron’s balls?
Euron made him his bitch back when he was a little kid, Aeron has no figurative balls.

He was Euron's Reek, so take a guess

I i dont think show euron isnt the child molester he was in thr books

He was the younger of the couple and also Renly former squire. Greco-Roman pederasty for example wa always based about this dynamic

I wouldn’t call it pederasty, they were both teenagers when they met. It’s like a high-school freshman dating a junior/senior, not exactly balanced but not exploitative either

I figured that never happened in the show because he is a Euron supporter, even after he admits to killing their brother Balon. Unless he’s just that broken, but he seemed totally normal. Also that guy had pretty good presence in his one episode.

>Aeron kills Euron, whispering “for Urri” in his ear before he dies
Would there be anything more kino

>tormund is the only non-autist in the realm
wilding supremacy confirm

Her breasts were sore, and Qarl’s seed was trickling down her thigh. She would need to brew some moon tea or risk bringing another kraken into the world. What does it matter? My father’s dead, my mother’s dying, my brother’s being flayed, and there’s naught that I can do about any of it. And I’m married. Wedded and bedded … though not by the same man.

When she slipped back beneath the furs, Qarl was asleep.

She still enjoyed Qarl. The captains and the kings might not have wanted her, but he did.

Asha had known other lovers; some shared her bed for half a year, some for half a night. Qarl pleased her more than all the rest together. He might shave but once a fortnight, but a shaggy beard does not make a man. She liked the feel of his smooth, soft skin beneath her fingers. She liked the way his long, straight hair brushed against his shoulders. She liked the way he kissed. She liked how he grinned when she brushed her thumbs across his nipples. The hair between his legs was a darker shade of sand than the hair on his head, but fine as down compared to the coarse black bush around her own sex. She liked that too. He had a swimmer’s body, long and lean, with not a scar upon him.

A shy smile, strong arms, clever fingers, and two sure swords. What more could any woman want? She would have married Qarl, and gladly, but she was Lord Balon’s daughter and he was common-born, the grandson of a thrall. Too lowborn for me to wed, but not too low for me to suck his cock. Drunk, smiling, she crawled beneath the furs and took him in her mouth. Qarl stirred in his sleep, and after a moment he began to stiffen. By the time she had him hard again, he was awake and she was wet. Asha draped the furs across her bare shoulders and mounted him.

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They indeed have only 7-6 years gap, so i suppose Lorras became his squire at an age not earlier than 13-14. The pederasty stuff was just an example about how historically worked a dynamic between a younger gay male and an older one with some kind of foster role to him

HER CUNT BECAME THE WORLD

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I don’t think you have to go all the way to Greeks and Romans for examples though. I’m no historyfag but I assume homo nobles in the Middle Ages would also have worked out some kind of dynamic and have their own niche norms going on.

not once but twice in that book

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You know I bet GRRM doesn’t know how Euron dies, seeing as there is no way Jaime is going to kill him in the books. But pretty much everyone agrees he will kill a dragon (in a different way) in the books. So it’s possible Aeron kills him, that would be pretty cool.

The Winds of Winter: August 2020

Gurrm's vivid description of sex is shocking and neat for the first few times, but it gets old very quickly. I wish that fat fuck would take a hint every once in a while.

I’m hoping either Aeron or Victarion get over the kinslaying taboo and kill him. Of the important characters in the ironborn plotline, they’re the ones who’ve suffered most at Euron’s hands.

>house next to lannister has a boar on their sigil
>robert was killed by a boar
...lads....

I completely agree. That would be well deserved and not in a fan service way.

Dnd just kinda forgot about Theon and Yara having uncles, not one uncle. iirc the guy even named Aeron in the credits, but since they never explicitly told he was their uncle, they've probably decided the audience won't notice and will forget about there being more than one uncle. Concidering people mostly call Dany Haleese they are not so wrong

>capture valuable enemy asset
>Execute her for no reason at a parlay

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qarl is dead so we're safe

I tend to agree as well. I think Victarion should be the one to kill him. Aeron is a Drowned God holy man so killing someone doesn't really align with his character. Victarion coming back and kill Euron for being such a cunt would fit his character pretty well desu

>some shitty handmaiden who can speak a few languages
>valuable

Jaime shoved the map aside. “Show them in.” At least the girl did not vanish too. Jeyne Westerling had been Robb Stark’s queen, the girl who cost him everything. With a wolf in her belly, she could have proved more dangerous than the Blackfish.

She did not look dangerous. Jeyne was a willowy girl, no more than fifteen or sixteen, more awkward than graceful. She had narrow hips, breasts the size of apples, a mop of chestnut curls, and the soft brown eyes of a doe. Pretty enough for a child, Jaime decided, but not a girl to lose a kingdom for. Her face was puffy, and there was a scab on her forehead, half-hidden by a lock of brown hair. “What happened there?” he asked her.

The girl turned her head away. “It is nothing,” insisted her mother, a stern-faced woman in a gown of green velvet. A necklace of golden seashells looped about her long, thin neck.

“She would not give up the little crown the rebel gave her, and when I tried to take it from her head the willful child fought me.”

“It was mine.” Jeyne sobbed. “You had no right. Robb had it made for me. I loved him.”

Her mother made to slap her, but Jaime stepped between them. “None of that,” he warned Lady Sybell. “Sit down, both of you.” The girl curled up in her chair like a frightened animal, but her mother sat stiffly, her head high. “Will you have wine?” he asked them.

The girl did not answer. “No, thank you,” said her mother.

“As you will.” Jaime turned to the daughter. “I am sorry for your loss. The boy had courage, I’ll give him that. There is a question I must ask you. Are you carrying his child, my lady?”

Jeyne burst from her chair and would have fled the room if the guard at the door had not seized her by the arm. “She is not,” said Lady Sybell, as her daughter struggled to escape. “I made certain of that, as your lord father bid me.”

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salsa is surely gonna get raped next book, can't wait for the description of that

Aeron hides behind his faith as a way to deal with his trauma. He’s convinced himself he’s a prophet, but the true prophet of the Drowned God is Patchface. Aeron is devout, but he isn’t magic, and if he wants to recover he needs to take his strength into his own hands instead of giving over responsibility to the Drowned God. At least, that’s my interpretation of him. His character could go a number of different ways, and his sample chapter of Winds was cool but didn’t clarify that much.

Lothor Brune and his “Sansa is about to be raped” spidey-senses will save her again

Say to Emilia guys!

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she a cute

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Jeyne had a hard life

>tfw the hip description thing was confirmed as author error and not a fake jeyne with the real jeyne on the run and pregnant
I just wanted my boy Robb to leave a legacy bros...

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True. Because that should have been a problem for Yara, Euron and Theon are dead so now Aeron is the last male Greyjoy and he’s the brother of the previous two kings. He’s a huge fucking threat to her and they never addressed it.

not compared to the other jeyne

I have a feeling that a girl named Jeyne really pissed off GRRM IRL.

>mother tricked her into taking contraceptive tea from day 1
Poor guy never had a chance, user.

just wait until you hear about "Lisa Tuttle"

Why was Jeyne's mom such a cunt, lads?

>be jane, ex-gf of grrm
>oh looks like that guy george wrote a book. i wonder what it’s about
>wow, he named a character jeyne after me! how nice! and she gets to be queen!
>queen jeyne’s husband is kill and family betrays her
>other jeyne gets raped by dogs

there was also a jeyne heddle I believe at the inn at the crossroads, my memory of affc isn't the best but safe to say she got fucked over in some way also

Wow, what a petty fucking bastard.

If Night Lamp is true then Stannis will put Tywin, Tyrion, Varys, LF and everyone with half a brain to shame with the amount of genius that glorious balding dome possesses

pretty sure her name is masha and she gets put in a crow cage

According to leaked text the two armies meet in a long battleline, so we can confirm that the night lamp theory is not true

>if Night Lamp is true
What's the quick rundown on this?

>If Night Lamp is true then Stannis will put Tywin, Tyrion, Varys, LF and everyone with half a brain to shame with the amount of genius that glorious balding dome possesses

BASED
----T----
----A----
----N----
----N----
-----I----
----S----

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Yeah and jeyne was one of the family I think
masha died at the end of the first book

Robin Arryn grew up into a chad though by season 8

Night Lamp itself is just a battleplan to deal with the Freys and Manderlys
But if everything prior to it is true then it makes Stannis one of if not the greatest player in the game
tl;dr
cantuse.wordpress.com/2014/08/28/the-night-lamp-revisited-the-wrath-of-the-old-and-the-new/#fiveminute
long read
cantuse.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-mannifesto/
genuinely good read really recommend it

It might be happening after the battle on those lakes. Judging by the name night lamp theory is something related to the lakes

how is that not based as fuck

>lysa tully, gave her maidenhead to petyr baelish instead of jon arryn
>lyanna stark, left bobby b for rhaegar
how long ago was this? grrm needs to get over it

Who the fuck is fAegon

filthy fucking showfag

The game was rigged against him from the start
>fucked in the ass by his aunt
>fucked in the ass by his mom
>fucked in the ass by Theon
>fucked in the ass by the Karstarks
>fucked in the ass by Roose
>Gurm had decided from early on that Robb would die to "subvert expectations"

I can't wait to see Stannis march in Winterfell in trumpet. I can't wait for the women and children to throw roses at Stannis' hoses' feet. The women and the children will cheer "Stannis you sexy man you." The Bolton flag will be lowered and the great burning crowned stag will fly over winterfell.

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Yeah, Night Lamp is pretty much snuffing out the crofter village tower flame and lighting the weirwood on the frozen lake (with a whole bunch of drilled holes) on fire, so that the Frey/Manderly force, blinded by the blizzard marches in the lakes and dies

Masha Heddle is the original owner and gets hung for not interfering in Tyrion's arrest
Jeyne is her niece, an associate of the Brotherhood without Banners, and takes over the inn later on, she still lives

Young Griff.

youtube.com/watch?v=PDTRxGAkFfA

Night Lamp is real
Ramsay is slaughtered, killed by Theon in the battle
Roose flees winterfell knowing stark loyalists will stage a coup and kill him
Stannis marches into winterfell

Screencap

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most people don't even know dany's name isn't khaleesi what do you expect

Based
>Frey/Manderly
Make it just Frey. They left WF through different gates and won't be together in the attack on Stannis camp. Manderlys will strike survinig Freys in the back.
If I was a bard in the Westeros after the Long Night I would write some sad song about those 1500 who went to the North and never came back

>Asha and Vic would both have made decent rulers
>they were too stubborn to compromise so now crazy Euron is king
Feels bad

he a good boy he dindu nuffin

I mean Lyssa also killed Jon Arryn

>Manderlys will strike survinig Freys in the back.

Based

>Victarion
>good ruler
He'd be just a more retarded Balon, he would have gotten the Ironborn destroyed

>Vic
I dunno about that. The guy can captain a boat and lead a fight but he’s pretty much the definition of dumb muscle.

vic is b+r

>his

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Asha would have done her best to influence him, probably for the better

Aeron or Asha, but Victarion is fucking stupid.
And what are you talking about, Asha was more than willing to work with uncle Vicky. She offered to make him hand of the queen, but then Victarion sperged about how Iron Island monarchs have never had a hand before.
Vic was literally too retarded to work with.

Ok, whatever you want to call Sarellalleras

Theon will kill Ramsay in the battle.

But he burned and drowned trans people, he based AF

victarion also tried to fuck asha

Either Asha avenges what Ramsay did to her brother, or Jeyne and Theon kill Ramsay together.
Anything else would be un-kino.

Aw shit completely forgot that the Freys were there.
Still I think they will be lured on the lake, part of them will drown, but not everyone of course, hence the battle

Just twink whores, user. Trans people aren’t real, even in this fictional setting.

No shit, that Sansa killing him trash was just because D&D got into internet trouble with tumblr over the Sansa and Ramsay scenes

>Anything else would be un-kino.
Raped and eaten by his own dogs

>While Jeyne and Theon watch
>Then they get aroused and a sex scene between them follows
This our Roose getting tired of Ramsay, stabbing him to death, and then claiming that his son was "poisoned by his enemies" would be pottery.

NEW THREAD B4 I PISSMESELF

NEW

Welp, time to do a Robb/Jeyne run on CK2

SIMPLE AS

Jon’s going to kill him because GRRM isn’t about takin away all of his victories and giving them to his sisters