"Sources at the White House state that "Donald Trump pees sitting down"

Do Americans really get their news from this guy? I knew you guys were dumb but this is shameful.

are you telling me if you need a shit, you first pee standing up and then sit down to take a shit?

I stand up to pee only on public toilets

underrated

>Frankly, I’m shocked it hasn’t happened already. We have a president who regularly shows signs of mental decline: He regularly forgets people’s names and places. He makes up words. This much is clear—there will quite likely come a time when our president shits himself, probably on TV, for all to see.

>The chances of this feel especially elevated should Trump win a second term in office. I’d bet money it happens while on stage at a MAGA rally, where he’s been known to babble on nonsensically for hours even while his fans faint in the heat, although if there’s any (comedic) justice, it’ll happen during a meeting with a foreign dignitary all over those nice, creamy-gold chairs.

>FACT: Trump is 72 years old. That’s getting up there, given that the life expectancy in this country is around 79. (It’s a sunny 89 for the richest American men, perhaps a boon to Trump. But given his love for fast food, I’m inclined to say these forces cancel each other out.)

>FACT: Incontinence is more common among adults over the age of 65. According to the Mayo Clinic, late-stage Alzheimer’s disease and dementia are risk factors for an inability to control one’s bowel movements. Interpret that how you will! I’m no doctor!

>FACT: Trump’s brain is not good. This is apparent every time he talks. He is spending a small fortune wishing himself a happy birthday on Facebook, the social networking site of choice for old people. He has bemoaned the“bird cemetery” he believes is created by windmills, he’s trotting out staffers to testify to his levels of “calm,” he manically tweets about everything from motorcycles to his cable news enemies over the course of a single morning. The man is not fully there.

>CONCLUSION: Trump’s gonna shit himself. Perhaps he already has, and his staffers have covered up yet another presidential scandal in the making. But mark my words: It’ll happen.

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Are you telling me if you sneed a shit, you first pee standing up and then sit down to take a shit?

Anyone who stays up late enough to watch this doesnt have a real job.

you sit down to piss, then stand up, turn around, then shit while standing up

I have insomnia issues and work over 45 hours a week you mutt.

Sucking dick isn't a real job.

What are you, 12?

Yes it is. It's a blowjob.

COUGHING FITS
PANTS OF SHIT
CAN'T STAND UP SHE HAS TO SIT
EVERYTIME SHE TELLS A LIE
SHIT RUNS DOWN HER INNER THIGH
PEE PEE PEE
POO POO POO
SHE WON'T MAKE IT TO THE LOO
BY PEPE KEK AND DONALD TRUMP
LIVE ON-AIR SHE'LL TAKE A DUMP

>Americans have a Mayo Clinic

>FACT: a paragraph of hysterical hyperbole
is freedom of press really as important as we used to think?

i'm 15 DUMBASS

journalists should be killed!

colbert shoulda died in the plane with his family

Since journalism has just become a vehicle for advertising, no it is not. Freedom of press is only important when they’re saying something important.

He's one of the few with the courage to speak against Trump

whoa gottem

>poo poo heh heh
Why are jews like this?

Who is that gorgeous chosen one on the right?

That's cute, coming from someone who I have no doubt voted for Hillary.

And you watch rubbish on tv, looks like im btfo

>makes a thread being obsessed
>n-no but you’re obsessed

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>FACT: Trump’s brain is not good.
trump pee pee poo poo

Nothing wrong with treating yourself to a sit down wee every now and again.

John Podesta.

youtube.com/watch?v=tfXWXNItF_Y

That’s Colbert on the right. If you mean the left, it looks like one of the Podesta brothers (responsible for the kidnap, rape and murder of Madeline McCann).

>saved that imaged to own pol epic style
>not obsessed
The absolute state of your rent free mind. Shameful, really.

DONALED

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>not peeing in the sink
it’s the perfect height

>Mayo Clinic

I always pee on my balls when I do that

>>"Sources at the White House state that "Donald Trump pees sitting down"

i knew a guy who claimed that in public and all the women mocked him instantly and told him he was deranged.

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But isn't urinating while standing an oppressive tool of patriarchy designed to keep womyn down?

He is an old man. There is a good chance old people shit themselves because they are so old. Why is this news.

your bladder empties better and fasting while standing up

Trump identifies as female, so she is the first female president. The oppressive colbert is literally raping donald trump and should be in prison.

don’t americans shit themselves the time anyways

>the chad single long
>the virgin two-shits

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It's the opposite

What do you watch, user?

Peeing sitting down is comfy as fuck

when you have big dick, the dick touches the porcelaine

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and then my pp get big pp

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After the invention of smartphones no one pees standing up

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Why, nothing of course. The patricians choice.

youtu.be/RCVBEE1SfXI

I've tried it and I find it harder to pee when sitting

>Posting /pol/ screencaps

I hate it when my dick latches on to the underside of the lid and lifts it when I stand up, because it startles the shit out of me when the lid thuds back down.

>30 seconds in and hes already doing trump impressions
jesus fucking christ. it's like a show made for literal children.