Imagine being the best man at a wedding, and this motorized afterbirth starts flirting with you. Imagine just brazenly giving her your number with a wink, while your friends and family give you death stares and rapidly shake their head at you.
Imagine being the best man at a wedding, and this motorized afterbirth starts flirting with you...
Thomas Lewis
Eli Robinson
I'd fuck her throat until she bleeds.
Adam Collins
Imagine just picking her up and using her like a fucking Fleshlight in the closet during the wedding reception but everybody can hear the thumping on the wall and her retarded wailing so they know what's going on
Alexander Johnson
Just to add to this, I would legitimately grab her head and force it onto my cock and pound her head against it like she was an inanimate fleshlight incapable of feeling pain.
Jeremiah Edwards
I'd rent one of those bounce castles
Christopher Hill
Imagine the fact that she undoubtedly can get sex whenever she wants and we're still virgins
William White
you would
Kayden Gutierrez
like really, she doesn't deserve compassion I would have my cock so far up her it causes internal damage.
Logan Clark
I sympathise with her. She's gotta live out the one life she has as a deformed monstrosity. A life of rejection, pity and outright hostility. What I cannot fucking stand is that some marketing cunt thought it would be cute and progressive to write her in and say she got with the best man. This instantly conjures up images of this little tard-trike bound butthole wheeling up to the studly young bearded best man, at the reception and moments later rolling away with a knowing wink and a lick of the lips as if we're supposed to be fucking sit there, during fucking tea time, forced to contemplate the allusion that at some point a regular sized bloke and this little afterbirth-in-a-wig will be fucking going at in all filthy and sweaty with his normal sized tadger fucking smashing up against the back of her neck or wherever the fuck her truncated vagina ends and then we're all supposed to look at each other and say 'wow isn't that so progressive don't we live in such a wonderful age aren't we all so fucking fantastic'.
I wish that little 'goblin' all the best but the sewer-stall runoff that fucking worked up this ad needs taking out into the town square to be beaten by the rotted dicks of every syphilitic beggar available, gang-raped by a gang of impressively large dogs and then forced to watch her own shitty advert for eternity. The only saving grace of this advert was the disgruntled chort that came out of every single one of my family members as we were subjected to this abomination on, what was otherwise, a pretty capital weekday evening. Also maltesers can fucking do one. They look like they fell off a black man's diseased dingus.
Ryder King
Why are you so obsessed with making this thread over and over again?
Please, for the love of God, have sex.
Jack Ortiz
>motorized afterbirth
HOLY KEK SOMEONE HOLD ME
Nolan James
Get wed
Connor Jones
what is that goblin disease called again?
Leo Green
midge
Carter Johnson
>ITT: pro-life
Kayden Wilson
Gross somebody call the Emperor's Holy Inquisition.
Jeremiah Lee
Automatic stillborn
Nolan Ramirez
She would look weird bouncing on your cock
Camden Green
whos your cripplefu?
Jeremiah Ward
and?
Aaron Allen
>tfw no incubation pod wife
Alexander Stewart
I'm not religious, but this is unholy
Lincoln Cruz
>motorized afterbirth
oh god
Levi King
>life... finds a way
Xavier Bailey
>TFW you bang a wheelchair girl in the ass because you think she can't tell the difference but then she starts wailing and says she knows what you're doing and tells you to get out.
Legit almost killed myself when she told my friends and family.
Brayden Green
>The system began with the fattening of human female slaves, who were shackled in cages and force-fed nutrients, widening their bodies to grotesque proportions; these women became part of the Daemonculaba's birthing wombs. Their insides were altered and chemistry wired by theSavage Morticians(possibly members of theDark Mechanicus), utilising the captured gene-seed. The exact science is vague, but by taking an adolescent child and sealing him within the stomach of one of the enslaved women, the process would either transform the child into anAstartes, or mutate horribly and create an abomination. Either way, the candidate is reborn later without flesh. If the freshly born creature passes inspection, the new recruit is clothed in flesh carved from human male slaves, whose skin had been stretched considerably to vast expanses. If it fails, the reject is cast out through the fortress' sewer system. Some of these rejects survive, however, and become scavenger-hunter creatures known as theUnfleshed.
>The system can also utilise the genetic material of harvested Iron Warrior corpses, which are broken down to be fed to the implanted child within the Daemonculabula.
>Uriel Ventrisof theUltramarineswas briefly trapped inside one of the Daemonculabula, which extracted some portion of his gene-seed and his memories and implanted them into a clone who became known asThe Newborn.
Mason Adams
>implying she doesn't already look weird
what are you getting at?
Elijah Jones
>there are 6/10s on this board who have never had sex
Josiah Collins
>cant use legs
>suspended from someone else legs
Poetry.
Carter Rodriguez
Anthony Rivera
Tfw played in the nfl for one year and an Excon and khhv
Sebastian Lewis
This is some Hellraiser type shit right here
Cooper Smith
remember to break her jaw with a hammer first so she doesnt bite
Joseph Cooper
Reminds me of Bone tomahawk of the pregnant female cave dwellers that are just torsos
Luke Miller
Wouldn't take long since you'd be poking her kidneys
Matthew Gomez
Alexander Cook
And now you share your shame with us. So now, people who don't know you think you're loathsome too.
Nolan Adams
This would be an interesting side project for the Master.
Dylan Nguyen
Now this shit is too fucked up even for me
Colton Watson
user, have sex
Chase Murphy
Nathan Long
ending of this always gets me
I like malteasers though
Nathan Hall
We have such sights to show you
Josiah Powell
Henry Bailey
Imagine being against abortion after seeing this abomination
Gabriel King
imagine fucking this weird flesh blob with a (somewhat) woman's face, like a female flan. fuck it why not
it's like fucking a shreddie
who hasn't dreamt of that
Luis Thompson
Same. I'm an atheist but I fully support another spanish inquisition
Austin Kelly
Literally looks like one of the goblinoid things from one of the mad max movies
Charles Ortiz
I though we had advanced in medicine as a species.
Ethan Walker
You guys haven't seen someone being suspended? How?
Isaiah Peterson
Not realising this was the best man.
Daniel Clark
>no motorized cripple on emmerdale farm
Surely they do 4x4 wheelchairs to navigate farmland
Adrian Torres
guess again
Nathaniel Smith
Ok if you had to choose at gunpoint have sex with this goblin or sex with a fat bitch like 300+ lbs stretch marks and rolls and everything.
Which one you gonna choose?
Wyatt Scott
wtf...I've seen people get beheaded and mutilated with chainsaws and shit in my time on here how am I still able to be surprised
Jaxson Brooks
Both, then rape the person with the gun
Adam Gonzalez
lost
Wyatt Stewart
MIDGED
Easton Mitchell
Logan Johnson
Midge
Oliver Baker
I saw this suspension shit in real life at a seedy biker bar in Shreveport. Fucking weird stuff. They were all serious about it like it was an art form. What a timeline.
Jonathan Carter
Why is he fingering his daughter in a photo?
Landon Nguyen
Yes, I would punt her over my local rugby ground's crossbar
Jayden Moore
It has been stagnating for a long time. Chris Rock is STILL right about this shit. It's horrifying to think how long ago that special was and this shit is still happening.
Landon White
why she got that money? She getting paid?
Joshua Jackson
I saw this beautiful girl in a wheelchair in a casino once. I asked her for her number in an elevator and she shot me down. When the elevator opened I kicked her full force and sent her barrelin down the hallway. Fuck women and fuck cripples.
Samuel Mitchell
the tart off corra (bottom left?)
She's the only human looking one and I think she still has all feelings down there, but just can't walk.
Liam Russell
Based
Mason Flores
based and Elliotpilled
Sebastian Scott
Wow, we need these people in public libraries reading our children story books IMMEDIATELY!
Nolan Carter
>and conservatism took the place of progressiveness
Got those mixed up
Ryan Collins
what the fuck was this guys problem?
Connor Edwards
with midgets*
Julian Flores
Retards and goobers should be fucking gassed.
Michael Moore
You are too much of a brainlet to get it.
Alexander Adams
This was how I first heard the term "tadger"
Connor Rodriguez
what the fuck is the syringe for?
Jose Harris
>literally 2nd panel
>it seemed
>5th panel
>in reality
kys u illiterate retard
Juan Walker
What about that one on Watchdog
Dominic Myers
It’s a Scottish Glaswegian insult. They always come out with the best patter.
Liam Anderson
Beware the Gimp Imp
Parker Campbell
>Be me
>Be fucking this midget chick
>Goes to about my knees
>She's riding my cock while I lay on my back
>Realize I'm about to cum
>Yeet her off my cock
>She flies across the room
>Hits her head on the drawer across the room
I never talked to her again
Daniel Torres
Read it in his voice
Zachary Gutierrez
why i would imagine all that fucking shit?
Gavin Murphy
More like ballteasers
John Russell
why the fuck that dude fucked THAT? fucking hell, i was eating...
Jayden Baker
Is this from Event Horizon?
Jason Bell
ive had 4 girlfriends and 0 sex. kill me
Benjamin Morris
Jesus Christ how?
I have no sex drive whatsoever and have never initiated sex but both my ex girlfriends got me to fuck them.
Were they just toying with you?
Isaiah Evans
how is that possible?
Michael Torres
i wish i knew.. i tried to initiate but was always shot down. fuck man, im athletic and work in it. i think they thought they could somehow trade up.
if i knew I’d do the opposite and get the pusy
Hudson Jones
they're not really your girlfriends then. if you said they were christcucks, maybe, but wow...
Joseph Carter
Were they saving themselves for marriage?
If so, that's perfectly respectable and fuck you for trying to deflower them.
If they weren't and were instead just generic thots then you're just a pathetic beta.
Ryder Rodriguez
i always got to third base, shit if i one of my exes naked and rubbing my cock on her pusy as she sat on top of me. like wtf do i have to do
one was a thot, the other three weren’t marriage types just normal... i wouldn’t class myself as beta, shit i always initiate everything thing when it comes to life. some people have luck and some don’t user
Ethan Green
Brody James
Did they do anything sexual with you?
They probably saw your microdick and realised that sex with you was pointless.
Noah Howard
Who /yearsandyears/ here?