Some Big Studio in Hollywood gives you $250.000.000 to make the next Dino Kino

Make a flick of my friends getting drunk and fighting each other while wearing those inflatable dino costumes.
Budget will probably be around 1000 (gotta get that good booze, and lots of it), and I'd give each friend 1000 for doing it. Then I'd pocket the rest.

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>found a sfx department of my own
>hire 200 poointheloos to do the cgi
>pay the sfx department $200M
>give myself a fat bonus for running the department
>use the rest to pay my salary for directing and producing

I would make a trilogy about the early humans and their struggle to tame the terror lizards. The films would be wholesome religious propaganda. Part one would focus on the Egyptians using brontosaurs to build the pyramids, and riding around on raptors terrorizing the jews. The closing scene would be the pharoh mounted on T-rex chasing the tribe out of his country. Part two would be mostly filler and focus on how the jews degenerated. Part three would be about Jesus and how he came to earth on his pterodactyl to defeat the jews.

Dinosaurs...

In

SPACE

DINOSAUCER KINO INCOMING!
youtube.com/watch?v=Pfz-Fqv8nbo
I can actually see this being a good comedy action movie.

Dinosaur Anal Vore

Any good Turok scripts get pitched yet. Cause that's what I'd make.

i dont do a dino movie, and make my comedy im writing right now.

>you have no restrictions and complete artistic freedom.
>What will you make?
Creationist kino

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as long as they don't go full featherfag i'm on board

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>Some Big Studio in Hollywood gives you $250.000.000
They wouldn't give me $250.000.000, they would give me $250,000,000.00 you fucking yuro poor

wild west epic where dinos still roam the vast plains of the undiscovered wilds

i stick a go pro on a bearded lizard and use the rest on hookers and coke. Just like the best directors would.

Society has crumpled. The world climates have become similar to the time of the dinosaurs. Dinosaur-like creatures have evolved. Humanity exists, but as tribesmen. Or just make Cadillacs and Dinosaurs.

Remake of Jurassic world.
But with sexy girl DNA instead of frog DNA.

Triceratops and Brachiosaurus porno

So picture this.

John goodman is a space captain he and his crew needs to collect dinosaur DNA before the meteor hits.
But there is a provlem. Their ship gets attacked by the xenomorph queen! They now realise their in a time line where the xenomorphs landed on earth. Now its dinosaurs vs aliens, aliens vs john goodman and his crew. Their mission has changed. They must hike to the nearest mountain thats also a volcano. They must activate the distress beacon on top of the volcano. They get there right? But the alien queen is there already! Holy shit shes ripping apart t rex jaws and fucking shit up. They need a plan to blast that bitch! John goodman and his remaining crew use bazookas and nets to shoot that bitch into the lava. The rescue team arrives. The rescue ship hovers around the volcano... surprise! Alien queen is all on fire and latches onto the rescue ship. Holy shit her xenomorph buddies are climbing up the volcano fast as they hear her screams. Thats when t rexes and raptors and shit have a big fight with the aliens and john and his crew get into the ship and witness this shit. Later the meteor comes and blows the shit out of earth. Last thing you see is a raptor crying

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it'd be pretty similar to jurassic park, honestly
I don't want to do time travel or aliens, so genetically un-extincted dinosaurs in some remote third-world area makes the best setting, and some competent scientist/military guy dressed kinda like indiana jones (safari outfits) has to get some pretty scientist lady and a couple kids (one boy, one girl) to safety

a mix of natural and "high tech" areas (though set in the 90s or earlier; I don't want smart phones and military drones or anything like that)

site personnel and unprepared third-world soldiers getting mostly slaughtered by carnivores or trampled by herbivores (but not elite spec-ops mercs getting fucking demolished by what are essentially just big animals, especially if they have helicopters and armor)

With 250 mil you can do just about everything. I would:
>showcase a lot of natural beauty and dangerous terrain (like 2005 kong)
>have high-tech areas that are meant to be believable and "realistic" (looking kinda like the alien isolation game)
>protags have to navigate and survive both natural and artificial dangers, while avoiding/fighting dinos in both
>dino-on-dino violence, dino-on-human violence, human-on-dino violence; dinos aren't "bad", just dangerous nature to be survived
>guns/explosives winning fairly easily as long as the human(s) aren't ambushed, but even an AR with a full mag vs a T-rex would be a scary situation in fairly-close quarters
>probably go with animatronics over CGI; CGI is a giant moneypit and never feels real
>serious tone/cinematography; imagine no country for old men but with dinos
>humans wouldn't need any exposition/backstory before getting into things; how they look and how they act in scenes is enough to portray "who they are", likewise don't need too many "human moments" for their own sake, just show them reacting to situations (surviving danger builds bonds and trust); that's what we care about and will remember

1/2

>Lemon Party
Now that's a reference I've not heard in a long time.

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>survival horror feel, struggling/ingenuity/taking risks to get by, never feel adequately equipped for situations, only have serious firepower during the climax and even then it's hectic and scary; dont be shy about protagonist gun-use
>needs to feel "real", like a real-life video of a person getting mauled by a tiger, no cliche screams, no unconvincing gore
>competent, very good-looking, manly/feminine (respectively), smart white protagonists; man is macho but not an idiot chad, woman has great body but doesn't wear impractical clothing just to show her off; she's smart too (but still a woman and acts like one); the kids don't pull off anything that smart kids couldn't or wouldn't do
>ending has the protagonists split up and handle some dangerous complicated shit that requires intelligence to figure out, needs to be an impressive feat that has the audience thinking "I'd die attempting that" but still realistically plausible for the characters, and has them risking themselves to save each other woman and boy ultimately don't survive
>ending area needs to be awe-inspiring in it's own right; go ham on set design
>no "message"; frankly we don't even need to know why the dinos were resurrected; it just doesn't matter
>type of movie kids will not get bored of and dad won't think is a "stupid movie" and mom won't think is "mindless violence"

You know, avatar was almost a dino movie now that I think about it. It also proved that you can go pretty heavy on the weird concepts and still make a killing.

T Rex had feathers on its head and back.

Pay myself all the money and film the bottom of my shoe for 5 seconds with my phone. Done and done.

Dino Crisis starring Milla Jovovich.

>Jack Tenrec
Jon Hamm
>Hanna Dundee
Evangeline Lilly
>Mess O'Bradovich
John Cena
>Mustapha Cairo
Michael B. Jordan

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