If Keanu is an incel what hope do we have?

There is one tiny thing wrong with it: doesn’t reflect reality (I turn them all down btw for my sweet blasian gf tho).

I don't think so. Didn't his gf died a while ago?

"cuck" is a 200 year old word, dumbass. That shit hasn't lost meaning.

this. He took the red pill. There's no coming back.

He should date Charlize Theron and then do an atomic blonde John Wick cross over movie

shit bros
it's not fair

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I wonder though if maybe he’s just a really shit person to be in a relationship with. Either that or he’s extremely picky. The dude’s got money, fame, and is at least average looking. He should be married by this point if he’s implying that’s what he wants.

why would you wish that on anyone you sick fuck

Keanu is a not an incel, faggot

Zagger

You’ll understand next year

have sex

>look it up
>its sort of true
They arent married

>Neo is an incel
>I'm not

Does this make me the chosen one?

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fuck off zagger

He probably still loves his gf that died.

It's gotta be tough if you're famous and looking for something significant.

You're in Hollywood/LA where the culture is toxic and everyone is sucking up to everyone else to make it. And on top of that you can literally never know whether someone's into you because you're you, or because you're Keanu Reeves the famous and well connected millionaire.

He's an irl version of rust cohle

name one person who's genuine and worthy of being married to keanu

>muah
Get a load of this fag.

Everyone knows he's gay. He just won't come out because it will negatively effect his crowd draw considering the types of movies he does.

We all feel like we're failures, but it's just how things are for most guys nowadays. Nothing to feel bad about, we just live in a strange and dark time.

>Complains that he's alone.
>Keeps rejecting all the stalkerfus that break into his house at night and swim naked in his pool.
You are your worst enemy, Neo.

zigger much

Incels are the chosen people

>how a thot writes

lmao, she's cheating on you. 1000%

Emilia Clarke

Keanu has an unfortunate history with his loved ones (they all died)

he said he's lonely, not desperate and insane

unchosen more like

fucking brainlet. she's hot but a fake ass cunt like all the rest

>Hey bro, you doing alright? I haven't heard from you in a while. I was in the neighborhood, figured I'd stop by. Sorry for not calling ahead. I just came from this swanky party but you know me, that's not my scene. I only go to those things because my publicist makes me. Well Sheryl knows best, I suppose. You wanna go for a ride? C'mon you night owl, get in here. We'll catch up, get a drink, whatever.

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okay delusional tripfag

Whats a vagina feel like????????

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>tryin to grow Keanu beard
>it isn’t patchy in all the right areas

How does he do it?

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It's the crux of immortality.

keanu is a depressed wreck and probably has trauma related to relationships

salty coins and milk

bags of sand

>ywn go on a night drive with Keanu and Goose
Damn.

>ywn have a cool movie star as a best friend

Fuck off zagger

STFU cuck

be handsome

>chinlet
never going to make it

put a finger under your tongue

feels like that

He's lonely because he's a time traveler. and if he makes friends, he will cause a time paradox and possibly end his own existence.

he is a cel.
He took the redpill and disconnected himself from the matrix

shut up incel

Oh...

Salty milk coins? Idk!

Imagine being this much of a zagger

that's actually true

waifu threads do nothing for me but i'd get behind this
>Hey Mike, stay here and when you wake up come back into town and I'll be waiting for you. You'll be safer here in this comfy neighbourhood than in a city ... When you wake up, wipe the slugs off your face. Be ready for a new day.

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there's like bumpy spots under my tongue, and the only vagina i've ever felt had those too. is that normal

This is how I feel.

I'm still in my 20's, firefighter, and I have a girlfriend that I'm crazy about... but somehow, I can't shake the feeling that I'm a failure.

Something feels like it's missing and I don't know what that is and I'm not the only one that feels this way. I'd say I'm depressed, but I am actually happy about things and I look forward to doing stuff.

Life is fucking strange.

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Feels like the inside of your cheek, except wrapped tightly around your dick. I can still remember, even though it's been 11 years...

This

you have AIDS

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMUAH *POP*
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMUAH *POP*
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMUAH *POP*

i don't like it

>"hopefully it'll happen for me"

fucking lol how can you not love this guy?

sometimes

He was dating some famous trans girl like a year ago, so he’s definitely not gay

can any ladyboy on Yea Forums confirm that with there tongue and there pussy at the same time

>firefighter
70 IQ profession

Your dick does

I've had girlfriends and generally have healthy relationships with females, but I just realize that I'm just no good. All my exes ended up with much more handsome and taller men as well as much more successful.

I'm just no good.

I thought he just went on a date with xer.

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Fuck bros. I feel like Keanu is one of the last human beings on the planet.

Let's see how haughty you are next time your house is on fucking fire.

>"wow I can really relate to him!"
>"I better become a fan of his an buy all his movies!"

>net worth 360 million dollars
>"Yeah guys, I'm just a lonely sad guy, just like you!"

based

INCELS RISE UP GODDAMN IT.
youtube.com/watch?v=D0-hUe5vuAE

>ladyboy
>pussy

His gf miscarried and killed herself. The man is mentally broken

I live in the ocean

What can we do to hook them up?

>dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7072323/Charlize-Theron-reveals-shockingly-available-dates-single-years.html
>www-m.cnn.com/2019/04/05/entertainment/charlize-theron-single/index.html
>google.com/amp/s/www.menshealth.com/sex-women/amp27054025/charlize-theron-single-dating-long-shot/

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reckt

It’s because western women are all STD ridden whores that fucks niggers and shitskins, meanwhile Asian women are still traditional and the only hope left to save western civilization.

Fuck off, roasties don't deserve keanu

she was sacrificed

truly /ourguy/

Imagine the sex John Wick and Atomic Blonde would have.

Imagine the smell.

Imagine being handsome , wealthy, and worldwide famous. How could you trust any woman;s motives for wanting to be with you?
Why would you want to put what you have earned at risk , when you can just bang starlets and use Bohemian grove tier escorts?
Imagine half of your brand is being lusted after by millenial and Gen X chicks with Daddy issues.What gain do you have by being in a relationship?
Notice he doesn't say "I'm celibate>" he's not. he gets laid as much as he wants, easily, weapons grade pussy on tap.He's just bawwwing to a journo about being lonely so a million People magazine readers will go "dawwwwww" and finger their aging pussies, imaging they could rescue him.

it's not about sex, he can get that anytime, anywhere. it's about finding someone who doesn't make you feel like you're just a caretaker of some retard and occasionally molest each other. oh and the retard is also going to cop and attitude and act like YOU'RE the retard a lot of the time. try not to get "caregiver empathy fatigue."

stop trying to meme this, no one wants that crazy hag for good reason

can someone at least drop a hint?

Don't do this to /ourguy/.

He's not an incel, he's too smart to get caught in the thot trap

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Just because he gets laid doesn't mean he doesn't mean he isn't lonely, he probably wants someone else that he could share his life with that isn't a fame hungry whore. Probably harder to find when you're his level of famous.

could this chink be anymore obvious?

Ever heard of a zigger?

>Something feels like it's missing

Do you have any goals? Everybody needs goals. Apparently.

Keanu doesn't have time to risk it with someone like Charlize.
Keanu needs someone who is not already famous, 30 years old at tops, and who'll pop out babies within 1 year.

Glad I'm not the only one that zones out when my girl tries to talk to me about stuff

Keanu reeves is an immortal being. The man is pushing 50 and still looks like he's in his thirties.

He was previous paul monet, charlemagne, and other figures.

Keanu reeves is immortal.

pretty sure he's a volcel

He got to see Ana’s wet tits in person, up close. I don’t feel sorry for him
Who could want any other woman after witnessing that?!

He donates most of his film profits to charity organizations.

And immortality treatments.

Honestly, Keanu is such a nice dude it may have just been an extension of that

1994 is the only year since its founding that a Sexiest Man Alive wasn’t awarded. Later, in 2015, the 30th anniversary of the franchise, PEOPLE editors selected Keanu Reeves as the 1994 winner.

Imagine ACTUALLY being lonely.

I dont have to imagine

I’ve never felt more lonely than after I had sex with a woman I hated. She stuck around for a few hours after and I just retreated into myself while she did whatever. It was horrible.

>a fake ass cunt like all the rest
sour grapes

why did you have sex with her?

story?

>I'd say I'm depressed, but I am actually happy about things and I look forward to doing stuff.

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i'm assuming because sex is sex

grow some balls and kick her out or leave

charlize theron is the iciest, coldest bitch Ive ever seen. this is based of course entirely on her films, but I feel it is an accurate judgement. nobody is that good of an actress

What's happening here?

sounds like you were abused. report that cunt user. you damn well know if this read had been the other way aroundit would've been labeled rape.

Uh oh buddy started smiling he's gonna be in deep doo-doo

Casual sex is a disgusting thing that erodes your soul. Sex with someone you love is the only sex worth having.

Obviously the guy's gf is nagging as they do, and his friend is filming and laughing which he notices at the end.
Did you not hear about her adopted black son she's forcing into becoming a "girl" since he was 3-4 years old? that's some cold shit right there

>what are you saying, that I can dodge sex?

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I'm saying when you're ready, you won't have to

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a nigger looking at a drink is all you got to say?

The double hoverhand, he has achieved peak inceldom.

Take a wild guess.
Met a girl at an anime convention (yes, I know) and she clinged to me obsessively for some reason. She tried to start a relationship with me but I turned her down and said I didn’t want one. She felt rejected and was a bit pissed but she got over it and still continued to talk to me every now and then. We rarely ever talked and even more rarely did we see each other. Then about 5 years after we met she started bringing up sexual shit in our conversations. I of course poked the ants nest as any guy would. One thing led to another and I fucked her. First time wasn’t so bad but the second time was excruciating. For context, this girl is the most soul-sucking cringe person I’ve ever met in my life. She just makes me really uncomfortable and want to jump out of my skin. I can tolerate it for about 10 minutes before I want nothing else but to get away from her. She just wanted to talk about her fanfictions and dumb shit that I had absolutely no interest in. I don’t even think she knows me much as a person to be honest. I shut myself off every time we’re together and hardly say anything. It’s like she causes me to retreat into myself. I had to pick her up and drive her back (cause she doesn’t drive, go figure) and that in and of itself was a nightmare cause she lived about an hour away from me. She’s a fat girl who would probably look pretty decent if she just lost the weight. But I’d only fucked one other chick by that point and was desperate so I just went with it. I learned a valuable lesson though, sex is just sex and it’s not always worth the trouble.

have sex first and then cast judgment faget

>"i dont have anyone i my life....
>"...hopefully it will hapen for me"
motherfucker got cocky about his superstar status

he looks like a 50 year old school shooter in this pic

I definitely learned that lesson as I express here

>Why, Mr. Anderson? Why, why, why? Why won’t you do it? Why? Why don’t get it up? Why keep aside? Do you believe you're being celibate for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom or self-improvement?! Perhaps peace?! Could it be for enlightenment?! Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception! Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that without sex is without meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as celibacy! You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson! You must know it by now! You can't win! It's pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson?! Why?! WHY WON’T YOU HAVE SEX?!

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>I learned a valuable lesson though, sex is just sex and it’s not always worth the trouble.
you learned the wrong lesson.

t. virgin

Let’s just say I’m not making that mistake again.

kek

nice photoshop incel

zaggers tongue my anus

Hahaha thought the same thing when I saw this post, my friend's gf does shit like this all the time yet she cheated on him twice so far

You cant make memes if you dont know English, fuck off.

I once thought as you did.

10/10

Him and Morphius's performances were so good.

I would fund the fuck outta John Wick 4: Columbine.

keanu reeves is autistic that's why his acting is so wooden

The true pain of choosing to be celibate but no one will ever believe you.

>having sex with s girl
>realize mid intercourse that I really don't like her and that I hate myself
>pretend I came, made up some excuse to leave and never contacted her again
>only reason I don't kill myself is because I don't want to hurt my family
>secretly hope smoking gives me the big cancer since I live in a state where there's doctor assisted euthanasia if you have a terminal illness
>completely ignore any sexual advances by women and play up my autism to avoid social connections with people while I wait for death

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I knew someone would post something like this
>persecuted
>hated around the world
>evil
(((Incels))) are the real jews

Incel implies you're angry about being alone dumbass. Keanu seems content

How more /ourguy/ is it possible for one man to be?

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nailing the shooter aesthetic since 1999

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>tfw /ourguy/ is blackpilled on women

is there any hope, bros?

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This one makes more sense.
youtube.com/watch?v=waY6FwOd9eM

Fucking zagger

A kid

Stop it, all of that, just STOP.
A good way to build a positive self image is to do esteemable works. Volunteer at a local animal shelter, stop smoking, call your Mom and tell her you love her

I’m the “whole package” kind of guy and only partially autistic and I didn’t can’t get any (I don’t blame others it’s my social ineptitude at the end of the line) although I have had some hilariously unlucky moments

>transgirl
and trans is latin for "not", according to SJWs. dating a literal man is kinda evidence that he's gay.

Huh, that's actually a good analogue for it.

get a load of this zagger

Sure man, lets get some whiskey or beer

>now
Incel was a Reddit buzzword from the start, reddit

>what hope do we have

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Keanu could unironically save this kid but ehh

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>white woman abusing a nog child she ""adopted""(enslaved)
Why hasn't she been crucified?

>Trying to take down a good man
Keanu doesn't deserve this punishment after all he's been through in his personal life.

Fuck that

nogs deserve it

>Somebody help me with this one over HEEEEERE
>come on you little shit stop fighting I paid good money for you
>all your siblings are dead by now show some gratitude

Can't wait for incel and cuck to be censored here like soi was. Onions

wow motherhood looks amazing

The point is that usually the media would jump on this pretty fucking quick calling her a racist or something

Retarded zagger. Kill yourself.

You just started the next big thing. Feel proud, user.

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>Raising some nog
>"motherhood"

I come home every night from my shitty job and all I have to look forward to is alcohol because I'm so bored and lonely. It's been getting to me more so lately because I don't really want very badly to see the friends that I already don't see that often and my only romantic prospect will probably fall through. Thank you for being there for me, alcohol.

is that the one she made transgender?

Don't have nigger kids and it will be much better.

It becoming normal to be single. man shits weird I mean back in the day people would think your strange or gay or simply unlovable now it's like every other dude and chick I know is single

you're stupid if you think accusations of racism aren't based on wanting to tar someone rather than them actually being racist

Five year stretch here. Not bad looking either, just no confidence.

Gonna be a long life.

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He was with his fiance was ready to be married to the love of his life and be a father than his pregnant wife was in a car accident which killed her and the baby while he was filming Matrix 2 at the time

I know that feel.

I had a FWB a year ago. We met bimonthly for about 5 months exclusively to fuck. She had neon pink + blonde hair, was fat, no ass but massive tits and had horrible taste in music and anime. Every single opinion or vapid utterance that came out of her mouth (she unironically told me she loved Star Wars but never saw the OT besides 10 min of ANH, because she thought it was "boring and stupid") made me want to get as far away from her as humanly possible.

I would drive and pick her up from her grandparents' house and drive her back after 2 hours of bullshitting in my apartment, in which she would smoke weed and get drunk. The only time she was bearable was when my cock was in either in her mouth or her pussy. She did let me bareback creampie her though. But I eventually ghosted her because she was an extremely toxic person who had a shitty upbringing but also consistently made shitty choices.

yes

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Surprisingly redpilled

kek

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he got all of the perks of being asian while looking prodemitenly white

REJECTED.

PUBLICLY HUMITLIATED.

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This guy is right. Doing positive things can really change things around for you. I'm still a level 31 wizard trying to lose weight, but it feels like there's been so much taken off my shoulders by walking every other day, helping out friends when it's needed, and spending time aiding my local church, that I never want to again feel like I did even one year ago

I went ten years then found sex really unenjoyable when I tried again so I just stopped all together. 3 years now.

incel means you cant get any basically.
we should really go back to punching women because they are going overboard with mental manipulation and women are much more capable of dealing with mind games than men are.

Keanu is lonely in the real way not the beta loser incel internet way
I mean he could obviously have any friend or girl he wants because of his immense status but forming real meaningful connections is something that's not so easy and you can't take any shortcuts to it
It's a higher level need than just being a KHV browsing Yea Forums all day and you can't really understand what it's like on the level Keanu does until you've actually gone through a lot of things in life

There's no such thing as an incel when you can pay someone to have sex with you.

no it isn't you fucking zagger, it means "outside of"

Faggot beta. Sex isn’t the ultimate goal.

Isn't he secretly dating the tranny from Sense 8?

Why don't Keanu and Charlize Theron hook up?

>according to SJWs
reading comprehension. trans actually means a lot of things, the most utilized meaning is probably "over" or "through".

>other person

You still have a shot OP

Call your friends, user. See if you can get the crew together to eat a meal or play tabletop or the like. Not seeing them isn't awful, it can just make you appreciate the time you do get to spend with them

>This is how I feel.
>I'm still in my 20's, firefighter, and I have a girlfriend that I'm crazy about... but somehow, I can't shake the feeling that I'm a failure.
>Something feels like it's missing and I don't know what that is and I'm not the only one that feels this way. I'd say I'm depressed, but I am actually happy about things and I look forward to doing stuff.
>Life is fucking strange.

War. War and violence is missing.

This is not being an incel, this is being aware that you're a difficult human being to be around and not wanting to inflict your shittyness upon others.
I can relate. I'm also a shitty human being.

That is simply not true, it's the deep desire to find love that really makes an incel suffer. I can assure you that if any incel had a girl petting their head on her lap would forget about everything for the reminder of the day, that's the level of affection that they look for.

*taps you on the shoulder*
bro thats cringe dont post that

Don't lump Keanu in with the incel movement. Incels are just millennial leftists with a victim complex.

>tightly
YMMV

A kid or a religious experience is my guess. That can really make you filled with zeal

you're no keanu user. you're incel trash.

That's a great analogy actually

Because he can hook up with other hot 50 year olds who did not adopt black children

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I wish I was. Better to never have any than to have and miss it.

theron's kid is trans now. fuck that abort abort

We're going to make this happen. All zaggers will hang.

new pasta

I think it's rather the opposite. He's too humble of a guy, but meeting a sincere humble woman with his status if fame is close to impossible.

He's also nearing his 60s. Does he really want want to pull a Clooney and settle with some beyond the wall Roastie out of some desperation? Doing all of that shit at his age seems kind of pointless.

Nope on christmas his child died stillbirth after eight months and 4 months after his fiance died in the car crash

He's not hoverhanding you morons he's stretching out his arms to welcome (you)

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He really is /ourguy/

He is lonely because he lost his lover to a drug overdose prove me wrong

Protip:you can't

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You wrote both of those

>this fucking zagger right here

>tfw you got to meet him and he's as chill and down to earth and you expected

Fuck me no one has ever been this considerate

Bussyboi

Winona

she's literally already married to keanu actually

30kv here, can confirm
Wouldn't be able to think of anything else for probably a day or two

The only kino choice

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sober for 500 days not today satan

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That druggy cunt?
Hell no

ironically that movie was released a month before columbine

The perfect couple. If Depp hadn't gone off the deep end, he also could have qualified

wasn't he going out with a trap? tmz caught it

His wife died and like many people he's handling about as well as Max Payne handled his wife's death. Getting laid is great and all but when you're internally grieving like a middle schooler losing their puppy it gets overshadowed to say the least

>tripfag tripping over his own faggotry
This rerun is getting old.

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No he isn't.
First, he's definitely not a virgin
Second, if he hasn't been having sex, it's not because he can't get any. It's because he doesn't want any. Nothing involuntary about it.
He could go anywhere he wanted and have girls lining up to prove their worth to him.

The reason she’s alone is because she has like 3 black adopted kids one of whom she raises as a girl

don't forget their baby was stillborn literally just before she died, too

Now that's a zinger if I ever saw one!

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Wtf Neo isn't gay you fag

>If Keanu is an incel what hope do we have?
None. The age of men is over. The age of the roastie has begun.

He got redpilled by that movie he did.

For those that don't understand, it's an insult specifically aimed at black zoomers.

She's a mentally ill single mother with a niglet and is in her 40s. What is wrong with you?

Zag off

I'm not a virgin but I've been involuntarily celibate for two years. I mean at one point I've been able to hook up with girls I've never met before in bathrooms and now I'm struggling.

This desu

They already dated, he knows how fucking gone this bitch is

I wish Keanu was my friend

You're delusional if you think this guy can't get any.

He's lonely because he's at the top and meeting a woman who matches his standards is next to impossible. Don't think for a second this guy doesn't have dozens of women into him. Most men are so starved for pussy they absolutely put it on a pedestal and will date pretty much anyone, but he's not most men.

Doesn't mean much bro. I knew a girl who was extremely lovey dovey with her bf, yet get a little alcohol into her and she turned into a raging slut. She was 19 and I saw her making out with this random 31 year old at a party. Also that 31 year old was me. I didn't fuck her though because I felt bad for her bf who was a good guy. I wanted to though, badly. She's fucking hot. But incase anyone is interested, yes I did tell the bf and yes the bf forgave her because he's a beta. I also know for a fact that night she blew a black guy in the bathroom.

What a fucking waste of a girl.

That's the literal opposite of the saying.

>doesn't tell why
You double zagger.

should've tapped that, clearly your bud would've still forgave her

he doesn't care because he's gonna fuck her holes later

zinger zagger nigger dagger

start killing people
see how that feels

What does it mean?

How do you know he has had sex?

Why I only see two Africans

Cuck was censored to Kek and that took on a life of its own.

No, because you no longer have your virginity. Chosen Ones must always be pure.

his first girlfriend died now hes so crushed he can never have sex ever again

>ywn be best friends with Keanu

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Kek had a like of it's own before the filter

Zog cog

Humans have been drinking alcohol for 5000 years. How can you turn your back on a friend.

But how do you know he had sex with her?

Based LoGH poster

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people don't play WoW anymore I guess classic should bring it back

I absolutely love Marissa Tomei, I would do unspeakable things to her and she will always be hot to me. That being said the fact they made her Aunt May was a fucking abortion of a disgrace. Aunt May was an old woman not hot as fuck Marissa Tomei.

I unironically believe its earth correcting the "human virus". We have been exploiting and damaging the earth for so long now its about time it retaliates.

True but it was revitalized and rebranded as something else, this happened a lot during 2014-16. They just recently changed cuck back.

Nah man, get paid for twenty four hour shifts. If you're smart you'll work hard, get some clout then after 5-8 years go easy street at some slow ass station for a decade or two till you retire at 50.
>Inb4 what if you die
Chances of death are like a third of being a fucking lumberjack man.

Fundamentally there could be though. Men are not restrained by foreign chemicals in the way women are. Most women take birth control in the western world (for more reasons than one but I'm going to say 95% of them take it just to be whores without consequence) and taking that birth control severely lowers the chemical Oxycontin women naturally produce. This leads women to be less caring, loving, and all around find "Masculine" men unattractive.

He was an amazing character, I have to rewatch it.

>Keanu is /ourguy/
>So let's hook him up with the one of the least desirable, most mentally ill women on the planet

Based retard

Attached: 1412375564765.png (409x478, 263K)

based

*taps you on the shoulder*
Bro,
>*taps you on the shoulder*
is cringe, don't post that.

He better play Darth Revan or this KOTOR shit is a complete waste.

ONE OF US
ONE OF US

>but I'm going to say 95% of them take it just to be whores without consequence
If 95% of all women are whores jumping on every cock that moves what excuse do you have then?

>girl I don't like very much becomes obsessed with me
>fat single mother, should've backed out right away
>tagged along with some of my friends when they came over
>they all leave, all alone with fsm
>we fugg
>or at least try to
>her body was so unappealing that I couldn't stay hard
>even thinking of my sexy ex (looked like pre-bogged Olivia Munn) didn't work
>go soft 10 seconds after penetrating
>don't want her to feel bad, do some quick thinking
>"uh...... I came...."
That was my most shameful sexual experience. Worse than the 40yo hooker that gave me the clap.

really hope creep makes a comeback, it was perfect

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
She's running out again,
She's running out
She's run run run run
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.

use birth control

foreplay

rumor has it sandra bullock wanted him bad after their performances in speed. but he didn't persue her for whatever reason.

Should've thought better the terms of his contract with the devil then

he summoned those whores

Attached: Jace2.png (696x391, 143K)

it did

wtf shit embedding

youtube.com/watch?v=A318dxT7fl0

ONE OF US
ONE OF US
ONE OF US

Attached: one_of_us.gif (480x360, 2.85M)

>who they want to be is not for me to decide
>here, take these hormone pills

You shouldn't replace God with your girlfriend.

Our guy

>Oh, shit! Oh my god, dude. I, it totally slipped my mind. Dude, I'm so fucking sorry. Really, I apologize. Mea culpa that was fucking stupid of me. Alright, forget the liquor. We'll get some slushies or something, whatever, my treat. Come on man I know you're sweet on that girl who works the night shift at the 7/11. Whaddya say? You know I'm an excellent wingman, haha.

Attached: keanu_reeves_jimmy_kimmel_speed_spoof_h_2015.jpg (928x523, 39K)

She had a miscarriage

How do you know it was his child she miscarried?

Keanu, you're drunk. Go to sleep

Because she's over compensating with attention to manipulate and avoid detection of her lies

based

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He’s obviously on the spectrum a bit.

Me

>just mix nigger and zoomer
>/pol/ immeadiately eats it up
I don't even know if this is based or cringe

im probably going to kill myself in like 2 weeks.

I feel like Keanu would be the type of guy that would actually want to find love instead of fucking random Hollywood hoes every night and knows that most would just be in it for the fame or money.
I'm sure he knows all the garbage that goes on and secretly hates everything in Hollywood.

Bro stop. You failing at humor.
Just say the n word that would more funny than your posts.

Fukn zags, I swear

Everything you just wrote is wrong.

I think he does but he's too much of a nice guy to say It. I think he's just too hurt emotionally to really be motivated to seek somebody else but I'm sure he's had a lot woman he's been with that hes connected to emotionally but just couldnt stay with.

From Keanu’s interviews he seems like a genuinely kind, intelligent yet guarded man..

He’s always seemed like someone who has a lot going on beneath the surface and we spectators only get a small taste.
;_;

Why are you doing this to him?

>Girl(male)

1000% straight

PUT ME IN THE SCREENCAP

bugman