Was it a power play?

Harry Potter is fucking gay

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he was a prick

couldn't they just make new sweets appear

based arry

Perhaps he took the lot in the vain hope of ending up in an episode of My 600lb Life rather than cast as the lead actor in one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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Kek

Good to see warners marketing team paying of ginger again

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If Harry was a real chad he would have used his status as a rich, powerful, athletic, talented celebrity to fuck anything he so desired.

She wrapped the sandwiches in cling film. He put them in his pocket. They naturally squash up into a ball.

>fatkino reference

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based snitchposter

no
magic in fiction always stood by the rule of not creating money or other shit out of thin air for no reason or else it'll open up plot holes

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she should have made some magic sandwiches

Also notice how he changed it back to power play after getting called out for ape posting
archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/115232196/#115234559

This. FUCK the Nouveau Riche! They don't have that genetic class
>t.great grandfather had a manor, other grandfather had a small fleet of boats, but parents are now farmers

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I like to think of it as him holding the sandwich the entire time

I bet the (((goblins))) are behind this.

>girls can enter the boy's dorm
>boys can't enter the girl's dorm

How many rapes were there in early Hogwarts before that rule was implemented?

It's her job to sell that shit. You think she gives a fuck if everyone gets a share? She's got stock in the back, fuck off.

As many as in your average British boarding school. So a lot.

>fuck prefects
>fuck muggles

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Just remember, it's canon that she's the magic world's version of Wolverine.

>She was hired around 1830 by Ottaline Gambol. She claimed to have made around six million Pumpkin Pasties and revealed to Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy that she secretly made them into mini grenades. She then threw one to prove it. She also claimed to have done something to Chocolate Frog Cards too. She stated that people buy her food but never really notice her and that she couldn't recall the last time someone asked her name, something which she herself has even forgotten.

wow, trolley slag was a fucking psycho

It wasn't rape user. It was just good natured horseplay that got out of hand and lead to some private internal disciplinary action and an out-of-court settlement that we don't talk about

man fuck Cursed Child

NEVER FORGET THE SIX MILLION PUMPKIN PASTIES OY VEEEEEEY

>In 1993, she provided Cauldron Cakes to Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger.
Imagine this being made into a wikipedia entry and this being your life's achievement.

Why can't we just get a channel 4 coming of age comedy (in the vein of Inbetweeners) set in Hogwarts?

You can have it when I have Peep Show, but it's the founders of Hogwarts

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Peter Pettigrew made the early life of Ron Weasley an absolute misery. He'd do this with furtive, yet highly malicious actions, like rolling a cling-film wrapped sandwich into a squashed ball whilst it lay dormant in Ron's pocket.

Or how about the time Peter Pettigrew always made sure to memory charm Molly Weasley to forget to apply preserving charms on Ron Weasley's sandwiches. He'd do this whenever the young boy was away on a jolly youthful excursion with his brothers.

Of course, there was also the time Peter Pettigrew charmed Ron Weasley's pocket to transform Molly Weasley's tin-foil into cling-film, the naturally inferior packaging for wizarding sandwiches. That devilish rat.

Everyone in wizard world is a fucking psycho.

Why can't you grow up?

>memory charm wears off and ron finds himself sucking harry's dick
>he never mentions it again

Fuck this shit ass timeline that gives us Blackmione and not this.

I'd rather have a The Office/Parcs and Rec style comedy but it's about the Hogwarts faculty and also it's R-rated.

>the uzi 9 milimeter.

Nah, he's just like any low class, low born scab on humanity who suddenly becomes rich. No idea how to act properly because he had no role models.

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>Hagrid and Moaning Myrtle
>R-rated

user.....

>Neville gets on the Quidditch team but everyone discovers he was pressured to suck Oliver Wood's pecker

Unironically the best post in this whole thread.
Well done lad

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>sad losers trapped in the worst job ever forced to co-exist

There have been worse premises for comedies.

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Fuck I justr remembered Max's Millions, a CITV show about some northern peasant suddenly becoming rich because his mum secretly sent a vidya he made whilst sick to Japan and it becoming a viral hit

youtube.com/watch?v=Ku3Sc-XV9Nk#t=20m23s

This was fucking brill

Snape was not a loser. He was a hero, even more chad and cool than James, that fucking prick.

What did she do with the money?

Plastic surgery and drugs
Tried to suicide three times
Became a nurse when the money ran out

She was the youngest ever winner

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Hush Snape, you're dead.

Yikes.

I bet she has more life experiences than you ever will for a lifetime. based callie

Pretty gauche of you to talk about where the money comes from tb|h

I punched the queen in the tit when she gave me my MBE. Come at me bro

Harry was just introducing all these homeschooled fag with a 11th-tier century education to the wonders of capitalism.

i have never read/seen anything harry potter, but this shit takes place in the 90s??

Hermione was born in 1979. The main 7 books take place between 1991 and 1997.

when wizard incels find out their witch crush is a roastie who is magically sucking chads cock, do they send her a howler?

It's really annoying how pointlessly edgy HP got in some spots after the ~3rd book

no.

they join the death eaters, end up unwittingly orchestrating the death of their crush but not before she spawned a mini-chad, and lived to regret it for the next twenty years whilst pining away in the odium of the rest of wizarding society.

Say what? It was about learning how the world really works. We use torture all the time, we just don't call it crucio.

Those kids were in Mrs doubtfire?

so the candy is made in that candy shop and magicked there like the food in the great hall.

Not that guy but it's said that the house elves cooked the food & it just gets magiced to the hall.

*Everyone in the UK

Did the wizarding world support Brexit?

Ask JK Rowling, I'm sure voldemort is a member of ukip and Hermione is labour

how come harry never mentioned to ron that he kept seeing him share a bed with a guy named peter pettigrew every time he looked at the marauders map?

do you retards really think they only had one trolley in the whole train? the joke is so fucking stale

lol

he wasn't looking at the gryffindors boys rooms, he knows who is allowed in there.

>Rowling
>Labour supporter

fuck off yank

This was just the beginning of Harry's domination over Ron, before infiltrating his family and fucking his sister.

Ur right rowling. the trolley was gay and managed to anally multiply providing enough for the kids on board. p.s the lady pushing the trolley was also a dog fucker.

lmao

'We'll take the lot' is Potterese for '1 of each for me and my new bestest ginger buddy'.

Based dullestposter

so 4 goldcoins buys an entire candy cart? wtf is this shit, he could probably buy the entire hogwarts express co. with that, look how thick those are... they're probably 24k too

>"I'll take the lot, oh, and chuck one of those... chocolate frog's to my unfortunately red headed pal here won't you? He's terribly poor you see, so he can't afford to eat chocolate more than once a year. Actually, he's probably never been to a dentist either thinking about it logically, which I understand is rather difficult for a magical person. So give him something mushy and without any trace of sugar. Boy, you know it must really suck being ginger sometimes, eh Ron? Personally, I'm glad I'm not a filthy ginger, or a person so interminably plebeian that they'd have to resort to carving a livelihood out of being a sweet-trolley handler in a twice-per-year position in a world full of alchemists and dragon tamers. Did you know I saw a black person in the crowd at the station? He was wearing these awfully funny magenta robes, and an odd bone through his hat. Not that I have anything against coloured people, mind, but one really must ask just how much is too much."

I suspect Dumbledore would never had guessed just how much the Dursleys might influence young Harry.

tru fax right here
>Nero and Dante - Griffindor Chads
>Vergil - Slytherin
>V - Ravenclaw or Slytherin
>Nico - Hufflepuff

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Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first-years could have rolled trips. You each win Gryffindor five points. Professor Dumbledore will be informed of this. You may go.

Yes, the first book came out in 1997 but they start off in the earlier 90s and Harry was 11. In the last book I think he's like 17/18 and he was apparently born in 1980, according to Pottermore. For some reason I just remember that Snape was born in 1960

Why was Hitler in Harry Potter?

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That's the joke. Especially considering we don't have any money anymore. And I'm South Euro, so I could never claim that British/German/French Nobillity thing of Old Money.

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DEH!

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Barty Crouch Hitler, son of Adolf, who escaped into the wizarding world at the end of World War Two and lived a generally peaceful life afterwards. Rowling knew this you see.

The two don't talk a lot. But both father and son share a common interest in walking up to random people with sack bags full of various knickknacks and going "ooooohhh".

>have a magical school with elf slaves and unlimited free food and shit
>charge kids for candy anyway
What the fuck was Hogwarts's problem? Did they really need the income from a train trolley that operates like maybe 4 times a year at best

You think she's dead yet?

are these movies worth rewatching?
haven't seen them since i was a lad

>That time Crouch blocked off all the exits/means of escape to the Hogwarts kitchen and pumped gas inside, exterminating all of the house elves
jesus christ, Rowling

He's Hitler and Nevil Chamberlain's secret love child actually

"No!"

this has to be copy pasta but i am howling

>put literally anything in my pocket and it DOES NOT naturally roll into a ball

Sounds unlegit

They learned it from the US college system.

user, there's a reason the goblins look the way that they do...

One gold coin probably is worth around 300 dollars or so

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Why wasn't Harry affected by the Veela whore?

Was he gay all along?

If you had posted a picture of Jane Park I could have told you all my claim to fame about being in the background shot of Edinburgh Christmas Market in the documentary that bbc3 made about her dogs shitting in her Luis Vuitton handbags.

Clearly she wasnt allowed or couldn't do magic, that's why she a fucking trolley girl instead of something good like playing with dragons or something.
She hates harry because of his prowess and using magic illegally

You mean the french chick that was part of the tournament? She was only part Veela I think. He was affected by the actual Veelas during the Quidditch Cup though, so i guess he isn't gay. As for the girl maybe it's cause he was too focused on wanting to bang Cho.

who drew this cringy shit

it should be illegal for nerds to do comedy. you guys drag all of society down with this "magic and superpowers are normal" shit.

"life experiences"

Yep, movies take place in the early to late 90s.
Why else did you think their styles was so dated.

Myrtle is best gril
why did she look so old if she was supposed to be a young student who died? Her actress was like 40 when she did the movie

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It's like John Wick.