Why didn’t they just have sex?

Why didn’t they just have sex?

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Because they're not pussy-chasing degenerates like you. They're based and redpilled, they know that there is more to life beyond chasing girls, and how else would they have completed their quest if they spent their journey chasing girls in the meantime?

Also, have haven't you just have kids?

Why have sex when you have a bro

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Based obsessed incelposter trying to normalize his insecurities yet again

Only four of then ever had sex in the canon.

Couldn't risk having a daughter.

Did Frodo and Sam give each other stress relieving handy jays?

Sam deepthroated Frodo while Gollum had his spindly salad finger hands around Frodo's neck for that delicious auto-erotic asphyxiation nut.

What sorts of freaks sexualize a children's book/movie?

oof^yikes

>what is Sam
>what is Aragorn

Fuckin hell

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Do you reckon Rivendell had a brothel filled with hot elf beauties? If yes, they all already got their share.

Frodo also took a bony Gollum finger up the bumbum.

Sam made Frodo into a ladyboy

Imagine how much experience elf whores could rack up in a lifetime.

I wanna know what elven rope feels up the anus bros

>the Honored Matres and the Bene Gesserit ain't got shit on me

900 yo mommies

my guess: feminine

What do you think Elven titties feel like?

like human titties, but better

According to canon, there were no elf prostitutes. At least not among the Eldar.

How boring.

Because child support is not a tax deductible expense.

What do you think Frodo and Sam were doing while the eagles were coming to rescue them? Do you really think either wanted to die virgins?

Bag of coins and salted milk

How much tax income did the brothel industry bring to rivendell? How high did King Elrond set the vice tax?

I could not have said it better myself.
In other words fpbp

I bet Avarin bitches give a good suck and fuck.

Aragorn had a son though

The human on the far left bangs elf chicks, one or two of the hobbits reproduced, the human on the far right has definitely gotten laid, Gandalf isn't even a mortal.

almost everyone there has or will. Boromir was a fucking celebrity in Gondor, Legolas was a prince, Aragorn has Arwen, Sam bangs Rosie. I think Merry and Pippin had kids too. As a Maiar im sure Gandalf had someone waiting back for him.

taters

have sex

They did

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just think logically for one minute

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Based

>Gandalf isn't even a mortal.

Does Gandalf have genitals or is he like the angels from Dogma?

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>What do you think Elven titties feel like?

Bags of lembas bread.

Aragorn, Sam, Pippin, and Merry, right?

Idk, but the jannies deleted my Eowyn thread for no reason and I am pissed. She's a good character yo

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Why did you reply to bait seriously?

>Have sex, you fools!

What did Gandalf mean by this?

It's over. Stop talking about it.

I like the painting desu

b8’d hard