So uhh, i've always wanted to be a standup comedian, ever since I was a kid it's been my dream

So uhh, i've always wanted to be a standup comedian, ever since I was a kid it's been my dream.
>crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats

My buddy Joe Rogan, he always told me "Brendan, you're not cut out for all this fighting shit, you'd day way better on stage."
>The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for.

I'm friends with Joe Rogan and Joey Diaz, *cough* Heh... Joey Diaz, or "big joe" how I call him. That guys a character.
>the laughter grows slightly more audible as the edges closer to the set as Schaub prepares for his next line.

Joey Diaz... Man, he gave me an edible one time, heh, that was crazy.
>waves of laughter erupt, tears start to well in the audiences eyes

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>hide thread

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It's tough b, cawmedy is a beast

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BASED

Former UFC heavyweight Brendan Schaub is EASILY on his way to become the biggest and mos idiocyncratic entertainment paradigm ICON ever on the history of the western context sphere.

>Athlete
>Fighter
>Wrestler
>Model
>Podcaster
>TV host
>Social Media influencer
>Executive producer
>Actor
>Stand up comedian
>Scrip writer
>Director
>T-shirt mogul
>sneaker aficionado
>respected social commentator

Forget COMPLETELY about a double or a triple treath this brontosaurious is Dozenuemumth thread! No other person has ever been able to reach this level when i say he is a beast it is below him, an under statement. Beasts aim to reach the point where someine would say " He is a Schaub"

Big Downs taking off like a bbbbbbeast!!!! All you cheeto stained finger haters need to get some fucking work ethnics about you, bee sting swab taking over this scene!

Now that hes conquered showtime where will /ourguy/ attack next? HBO? Netflix? Comedy central???

Sooo... what's next for him? Humble return to being the eternally worst part of JRE?

Hollywood blakbaster b, know I'm saying???

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I'll tell ya bro I got merced doin all those shows

>ruins your comedic podcast banter by being debbie downer

I want to suck the cum out of his dick.

bro my hairdresser was asian as FUCK *prances around the stage like a fag* my guy i'm NAWLT tryna do MATHS right now

>housemate constantly blarring brendan schaub and bryan callen podcast as if they are some intellectuals saviours
>he says he stopped watching joe rogan because joe is an idiot
bryan callen has got to be the most annoying pleb on earth. is there something wrong with me or does is entire voice and demeanor piss anyone else off? i dont care if he is telling the funniest joke on EARTH, my body retracts, no laughter, and i feel weird seeing/hearing him. hes so pleb too, like you could read breaking news x, update on x, hyperbole on x, clarification and embarrasment on x by browsing the internet, then 2 days later youll hear bryan callen, still believing inital story, like 'dude did YOU HEAR ABOUT X NEWS?, unbelievable. i cant believe that /show/country/story existed, and did you HEAR HOW Z REACTED TO IT? then after 10 mins they will react to update X and never get to the truth, acting totally astounted that X is the truth even though they got nowhere near it. i absolutely hate him. maybe im high iq or a step ahead everyone but it seems he is impersonating joe rogan or something whilst trying not to

>see him on JRE all the time
>figure he must be based like eddie bravo since joe has him on so much
>give in and listen to his episode even tho i have a "no standup comedy guest" rule for jre
>mfw

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Brian Callen is such an annoying faggot

this is the worst forced meme ever
you have been pushing it for years
no one knows who this guy is, so its not even remotely funny

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t. cheeto fingers

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moron. the comedy casts are the best

what are some ones i should listen to then? it's not that i really have a problem with them. i just listened to a few and it was mostly joe rogan talking about "his craft." they were insufferable.

He bloviates on literally every episode. I recommend any of the ones with Fitzsimmons.

hater detected

Joe Rogan is insufferable. His show is good when his guests don't let him run his dumbass mouth nonstop.

fuck that's actually funny

i didnt know chris d'elia posted here

hes got it all. looks, and humor i should an hero

Some of the comics are great its just the ones he has on every month that are lame

The recent one with Joe List was good and Tom Papa is always cool. Unfortunately they cant help themselves when it comes to talking shop and about how much better comics are than the rest of us so i just tune that shit out usually

We know, Whitney, get a hold on yourself.