In 1999 Stephen King was hit by a moving car and nearly died

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he should have written a book about his own face, that would have been really scary

>no philtrum
dude looks weird as fuck, like a primitive human or something

It's the Coke

are you kidding half his books have greasers in them pretty sure he was bullied by one as a kid

>it's the daily "trumptards seething at a successful guy because he doesn't like Trump" thread

there's a short story about a mafia guy that kill the protagonist's wife. That mafia guy takes a weekly trip to LA from Vegas in a fancy car and the protagonists digs a hole in the road and burries him alive. They made a shit film out of it starring Wes Bentley and Christian Slater.

This explains why he’s a faggot now

Fuck king, for 30 years i have used the same Wang Tech keyboard and always joked about "Banging on my Wang" in an interview lat year he said he used a Wang tech Word processor and was "Banging on his Wang for years' he stole my joke

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Don't accuse him of anything, he might murder you

söyphen king was never a good writer

The thing about king that makes him great is the fact that he takes absurd things and makes them real. He doesn't write like a writer, he writes like a news reporter. When I read IT, I was half convinced that IT was real for a week. Maybe not real on this planet, or in this universe, but real somewhere (and able to come here).Anyway I suppose that my point is that in order to be considered pretentious, he would first have to not be the Elon Musk of the writing world, and additionally it would have to make little to no sense. King has written books that span everything, and more. There isnt just great variety, the books span across time, space, dimensions, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, thrillers like shawshank(although im not sure if thats in the same -verse) and yet most of them are supposed to take place in the same macroverse. Whats the knot that ties all this together? the writer himself. I haven't come across something that seemed too absurd (and yet made sense) since I was twelve. You need to expand your mind hole through practice with mind toys. Read the Dresden Files as a start. Fiction is not best left as fiction. Anyone who says that has an underactive imagination or is too attached to the facts of our boring reality. Fiction is at its best when the book helps you along gradually with your suspension of disbelief, til you are 75% sure it is real (and before someone calls me crazy the facts are irrelevant to this. It doesn't matter what you know, only what you believe). King is the King at this. It isn't real enough until you're looking over your shoulder for that rabid bernard when you pick up your little cousin at school, not until you are giving a wide berth to storm drains for a week when you walk your dog, and not until you look twice where the dog is buried in the back yard because the dirt looks like it might have been disturbed. Real life is boring. Fiction is escape. That escape last longer and feels better

the joke was made here:
eevblog.com/forum/chat/wun-hung-lo/25/
4 years ago...

That's the dumb part to you? Not revealing the whole story is a time loop and ending the last book with the intro paragraph from the first book? That's when I knew King was a hack.

The fuck is wrong with his mouth. Those thin jew lips are unsettling

>sean hannity never got waterboarded
>rush limbaugh never moved to costa costa rica
feels bad

I haven't read King in years but I always really liked his short story "N."

wait so he lives in Haiti??

i was saying it since 1990 since i used my tax refund to buy a Wang Tech clone of a Compaq, a 386 processor with 16 MB of Ram and a 40 MB HD

i heard that the distance from his lips to his nose means he's a pedophile

the first dark tower is GOAT pulp-fiction. its miles above harry potter or got. i remember a couple others in the series being great too but it was mostly cringey.

so did that guy get the joke from you?

jews commonly don't have defined philtrums.

I feel Stephen King is the single greatest piece of evidence against the whole 'Outliers' theory that practice makes perfect. Dude has a huge bibliography but if you read even excerpts of his writing from any point in his career they are all trash and I think he knows it.

Has Stephen King had more works adapted to film than Any other writer?

He looks like a Who from the live action Grinch movie.

Why are they trash?

He looks like he has tons of plastic surgery even though I'm sure he hasn't.

Obviously they all stole it from me

Is this one of those threads where /pol/ shits on someone who criticized Trump?

Does Stan Lee count?

are you chris c?

So you wouldn't be mad at a guy who nearly killed you?

The man who hit him said that he was distracted by his dogs running around in his van. He was previously was convicted 11 times for driving under the influence and speeding, and had his license revoked and restored three times in the previous year. This guy was bound to kill someone.

Matt Baker, the sheriff's deputy who responded to the accident, was once a member of the Fryeburg (a small town in Maine) police along with Everett Smith, the driver's brother. He didn't test the driver for drugs and alcohol, and the vehicle wasn't impounded. King was airlifted to a hospital.

The man died on Steven King's birthday. He was found covered up in bed. Later, it was found he overdosed on painkillers. Guess that put a stop to that.

Later, in the Dark Tower series, a character named Bryan Smith, named after the driver, is driving while high, and gets distracted by his dog.

>What the hell people talk up that series so much on the internet
to understand that, my dear zoomer, you'd have to be alive in the 80s and started reading the series then. I'll be the first to admit that the last book was a disappointment but like so often it was more about the journey. dude can't end his story in a satisfactory manner is all. His true strength are short stories anyway.

>By the time he had passed Portland going north on the turnpike, Ben Mears had begun to feel a not unpleasurable tingle of excitement in his belly. It was September 5, 1975, and summer was enjoying her final grand fling. The trees were bursting with green, the sky was a high, soft blue, and just over the Falmouth town line he saw two boys walking a road parallel to the expressway with fishing rods settled on their shoulders like carbines.

He switched to the travel lane, slowed to the minimum turnpike speed, and began to look for anything that would jog his memory. There was nothing at first, and he tried to caution himself against almost sure disappointment. You were nine then. That's twenty-five years of water under the bridge. Places change. Like people.
In those days the four-lane 295 hadn't existed. If you wanted to go to Portland from the Lot, you went out Route 12 to Falmouth and then got on Number 1. Time had marched on.

Stop that shit.

But it was hard to stop. It was hard to stop when--

>You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied
the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings. I arrived here yesterday, and
my first task is to assure my dear sister of my welfare and
increasing confidence in the success of my undertaking.
I am already far north of London, and as I walk in the
streets of Petersburgh, I feel a cold northern breeze play
upon my cheeks, which braces my nerves and fills me
with delight. Do you understand this feeling? This breeze,
which has travelled from the regions towards which I am
advancing, gives me a foretaste of those icy climes.

Top is Stephen King, bottom is Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. If you can't tell why one is shit and the other is good I don't know that I can explain.

read just the first. it wasn't originally written to be a series. it was just a weird one-off.

You can't explain because you have a poorer grasp of the English language than the person you're trying to shit on

It's even worse when you realize that he was raging about flip phones and blackberries. Smartphones were barely even a thing at the time.

When you read stephen king you are in fact trained to read dr Seuss

What's wrong with dr Seuss?

Not but i'm sure Chris is a faggot and a joke thief

All jokes aside it's a great keyboard that still works 30 years later, it outlasted 3 Logitech keyboard i tried

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Stephen King's grasp of the English language is passable at best. His work reads like that of a school teacher, his success is mostly due to branding and a few original concept pieces that are inevitable when you produce the sheer quantity of writing he does.

However even if you could argue that his technical prowess and command of the English language is better than mine, a claim I am not necessarily disputing, it doesn't invalidate my main point which is that his skill is disproportionately inferior to the amount of work he has put in. I don't need to be a professional golfer or a professional football player to determine whether someones performance is subpar. This argument that criticism can only be valid in the context of equal skill is ludicrous and is just a lazy defense employed by fanboys.

This. The guy made it so he couldn't even sit down comfortably to do what he loves--write--anymore. Having a fucked up hip makes quality of living shit. You can't sit. It hurts to walk. You can't even sleep properly.

oh cool. is it a worthwhile alternative to memories of fun and socialization? do you ever look at that keyboard and just want to die? cuz i sure would.

His grasp is fine. He just employs joe-blow language coarse delivery because it is more effective in the modern reader.

I got hit by a car that fucked up my hip as well, and I love sitting and using my computer more than S King probably loves writing. However I literally haven't thought about the guy who hit me once since it happened.

yes but he hasn't updated it since the 80's and i'm not sure he was doing it well back then,

>zoomers are such bad drivers that they think running people isn't a big deal

Is this really a keyboard from 1990? Do all the buttons still work? I don't think I ever went for more than a year without spilling some sort of drink on mine and killing it

Hey, I believe you. The fact that you are obviously lying aside, your story moved me so much that I can suspend that.

it never happened is why you don't think about it you massive fag.

You got btfo hard and now you’re resorting to calling another person on 4channel.org A nerd. I mean wudder we even doon here man?

I can't argue he isn't out of date both in language and construction. I'm just saying that because he doesn't use it, it isn't there.

I only say that because I read a book or interview (might have been On Writing) where he talks about that. He just prefers "Joe killed Mike with a hammer" more than flowering it up.

He's sold millions of books, so I can't really argue that it isn't effective.

>He just employs joe-blow language coarse delivery because it is more effective in the modern reader.
He does it because Hemingway and America ruined literature.

God damn king is pathetic

>Capeshit makes millions of dollars
>Capeshit is good

You're a brainlet my dude, modern capitalism has distributed more purchasing power amongst more average people, whether that's a good or bad thing is irrelevant, but the point is that you have a great 'averaging' of esteemed art forms so that the stuff that makes the most money is the stuff that is good but not too good or it won't be grasped by your average consumer.

Vs when money was concentrated in the hands of a small well educated minority with so much free time they consumed art relentlessly and probably had better taste than someone who has to work a 9-to-5 and has kids.

>hit someone with your car in America
>go free

And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

The picture is not of mine but the same or close model, Mine works fine, I have spilled a few times but every few years i disassemble it and put the outert body in the dish washer and clean the board with alcohol and Q tips

holy shit king hired a hitman to kill the driver. i bet he told him to leave some autistic thing that only he would know. like a red clown nose or something next to his hand

How about we include the full list of injuries
>His injuries—a collapsed right lung, multiple fractures of his right leg, scalp laceration and a broken hip—kept him at CMMC until July 9. His leg bones were so shattered that doctors initially considered amputating his leg, but stabilized the bones in the leg with an external fixator. After five operations in 10 days and physical therapy, King resumed work on On Writing in July, though his hip was still shattered

Good is subjective. Effective can be objectively demonstrated.

no

My wife picked it out, excuse me while i put my other wang in her

He told the view he now walks like Festus

He's a sour old cuss now. I've talked to people that have met him. He was pretty nice before the accident. He's Gregory House now.

>jew

looks Irish to me

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His injury is only going to become worse with age

>the man died on kings birthday

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>Retarded guy almost kills you
>Retarded zoomer calls you a Boomer for being mad about it
Have sex, faggot

You undersold that. It's literally a few dozen Doctor Dooms on horseback throwing snitches and using lightsabers

>skill is disproportionately inferior to the amount of work he has put in
Quality =/= quantity
With the amount of books he releases I'm sure he doesn't even proofreads them and just leaves that to his editor.

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Literally every professional writer does that.

Also, most have at least an assistant... and I wouldn't be surprised if King had a whole Taiwanese factory worth of them.

In fact, I honestly believe that the son, Joe Hill, isn't writing shit. It's just more stuff from the King Factory.

that movie was so fucking bad

Fucking Wolves of the Calla man. Dark Tower became 100% trash from that point on.

Or is just an insufferable faggot

Academic writers tend to just let editors sort the shite from the silk, also. I do at least.

Yeah, that part was pure shit in an otherwise great story.
Never self insert.

Because it started out great. Last three books are mostly shit, tho.

I mean, you guys shit up the entire internet and went on a purging spree because a guy you didn't like won the election, so...

I never read even one Stephen King novels, but really liked the horror movies from the 80s and 90s for being really campy. Are the movie adaptions actually anything alike his books?

He bristles too much at his editors and puts very little effort into revising his works.
Most of the shit he wrote after Salem's Lot is barely above the rough-draft stage. That's how he writes so much.
It's sad, because many of his stories are very good, but really needed another revision and someone with enough power to rein him in.

This unironically
Only cucks would be like "Well it's ok it's the universe shit happens"
Fuck no,you're making me disabled ? You're paying for it sooner or later

patently false

To put it this way:
Stephen King hates Kubrick's The Shining, but loves the TV adaptation.

How many times has this drunkard idiot been hit by a car?

Maybe the dumbass should stop drunkenly staggering on the roads. Dude has been hit by like 5 cars in his life.

Wasn't it a red car that hit him, the same type of car that Kuberick changed the car to in Shining that King hated the change of

I wish he'd do coke again so he can write more literature kino

>some washed-up writer suddenly tries to cross the road
>try to maneuver out of the way but you still manage to hit him
>he gets angry at you and writes you as a villain in one of his books
lol

That's literally the only worthwhile part of the last book, you got pleb filtered.

this guy's writing has never been good

cringe

No, it was a van, King later bought it

0.001 bad books were deposited into your hack writer account

>Worthwhile
>ending is so bad he has to preface it with a warning
>if you think a story is about the ending and not the journey
How can you act pretentious and superior while admitting you can't write a worthy ending? I'm supposed to applaud you for your failure to construct a full narrative? It's a good thing you looped a 99% finished book back into itself?
>I hope those of you can recognize in Roland having the horn some hope for the future
I can recognize a fucking hack when I see one. If Roland does eventually achieve a 'perfect playthrough' and successfully enter the tower chamber proper why wouldn't you tell that story instead of failed attempt #6,804,312? Because you lack the talent neccessary to invent anything satisfactory and instead of having the courage to try and fail you took the cowards way out and decided to leave the heavy lifting to the audience's imagination.
How brave King, you fucking pussy.

I remember dating an English major in college who was a huge King fan. She got a short story published that was avout some creepy demon and nightmares about being consumed by a darkness chasing her. It was pretty Lovecraftian.

no but he comes up with interesting ideas, sometimes

I guess when you shit out 50 books a week you're bound to get a few, though

but that's even worse, because what good writers do is wait until they get good ideas, and then refine them into a good book
King just uses them to shit an average-at-best book in a week and forgets all about them to move on to his next work, it's infuriating

Dolan's Cadillac. Didn't know there was a movie.

You seem to forget that he's made a ton of amazing books too. Or are you trying to convince me Green Mile, The Shining, Pet Semetary, The Mist, The Long Walk and Shawshank Redemption are average books?

This, wizard and glass was last good book

>Green Mile
hurr durr magical negro
>The Shining
improved by the movie
>Pet Semetary
nigger you didn't even write it correctly
>The Mist
improved by the movie
>The Long Walk
probably shit or improved by the movie if there was one
>Shawshank Redemption
improved by the movie

>hit by a moving car
as opposed to a stationary car?

>nigger you didn't even write it correctly
Nice outing yourself as a zoomer retard

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>american literature

Why was the dark tower so bad bros?
First book was kino while everything after it was a dumpster fire.

Did you know that world-renowned writer Stephen King was once hit by a car? Just something to consider.

>says the mouthbreather trying to level critique at a book he's obviously never read

It's almost as if the name is a part of the story.

Moron

Based King paid to have that motherfucker wasted.

The first 3 books are great. Then SK died and was replaced by a pod person or something.
SK didn't write anything good since 1991 (except for Rose Madder. I loved that book. King should have written more smaller plotted books like RM and The Dead Zone instead of his seat-of-the-pants 1000 pages ones).
Even then: novelettes>short stories>plotted books>>>seat-of-the-pants books
SK novelettes are Kino.

I haven't read King in years but I always really liked his short story "I."

The movie is actually decent.

I see what you're trying to do here.

It was a very "dark" story.

Stephen King's best work were always drug fueled fever dreams. Getting hit and getting sober can mostly account for his decline, though I imagine some of it can be attributed to the sheer amount of bullshit he's typed up over the years and their only being so much a single person can make up and have it be interesting.

never heard of that guy, i only read stuff by Bachman

I have a fondness for 70s/80s King short stories. They feel like they come directly from EC Comics.

KINOISSEUR
But George Stark stories are even better.

Skeleton Crew and Night Shift are great. They're the only King books I still have.

Wanted to see what the fuss was about and tried to read "The Stand". It has some fun scenes and a couple of great characters but I couldn't help but feel that it was a bit dated and also too long. King adds too much of his unnecessary character lore in there which always brings the good flow to a halt.

Stopped at mother Abigail's background story because it was so damn boring and cliched. Might pick it up again just to read it through but it started to feel like a slog.

ADHD
muh point muh fast pace
I don't even like King but I fucking HATE you

read

I remember being shocked at how bad the writing was in It. Stephen King just tried to fit in as many pop culture references as he could so make it seem '50s.

how dark?

Stupid zoomer

Damn sounds pretty Kafkaesque bro

Yep. Personally, I'd happily add 4 Past Midnight to that list since it scared the pants off me when I was a teen.

It was literally Lovecraft, as in, a ripoff.

Yeah sure put words in my mouth more please. I never said anything about it needing to be fast. I want it to be at a good pace that doesn't feel like a truck trying to suddenly speed and then suddenly it hits brakes for a quick halt. And did you miss that I might pick it up again? Did you even really read my post or did you just come here to throw a tantrum?

Night Shift is 80% trash. Lawnmower Man and Boogeyman are laughably bad, as in, I audibly exhaled air and chuckled while reading them. Night Surf, Children of the Corn and Quitters, Inc. are the only ones worth reading from it.

I haven't read King in years but I'll take your post at face value and give Skeleton Crew a try
You better be right

He bought the van that hit him, and sent it to the crusher in the scrap yard.

I like tantrums.
You're right. I apologize. But I think King was trying more for a "the world after the apocalypse and the people in it" instead of a plot about defeating the bad guys. It felt like each character could have been it's own book.
Maybe you're reading the long uncut version? There's a smaller version that was published at first. The complete is over 1000 pages, the cut version about 600 (don't take my word for it, I didn't google it, I just go by memory).
Anyway, there's a short story that is a proto-version of The Stand and it's great.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_Surf
Read that instead. It's better than The Sand.

The Ledge was great.

Fuck yeah. My absolute favorite King short. The sense of being "there" with the main character is astonishing.

Do you like Tales from the Crypt? Skeleton Crew has that vibe all over.
One for the Road and The Ledge were good.
The Last Rung on the Ladder is King's best work. Of his entire life.

You were the first one to mention him. Living rent free.

Cringe

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stand_(2019_miniseries)
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

My personal favorite is The Long Walk.

Randall Flagg is a mulato that can pass for white or black and uses this to create social Chaos by inciting violent incidents.
They're going to cast him as an incel white man, aren't they?

I liked it. Simple story with complex world backround. Better than Running Man.
Although I have a soft spot for Roadwork.

yikes

>post-40s american literature

I realized how much of a hack King is, when I picked up a horror book by Dan Simmons -a writer who is renowned for his science fiction works- and even that was infinitely better than anything King had written

>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>MOMMY GIB DISNEY ENDING
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE

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unironically FAS, his parents were really fucked up

I was talking more about the fact that you were using the purposeful misspelling of “Cemetary” as if it was an error, ousting yourself as someone who never actually read the book.

People only hate him because he is a leftist.
If he was a racist pedo cucktholic like Tolkien they would worship him.

Because that dumb faggot ruined the dark tower by self insertion and LE TIMELOOP LE NIGGER MOVIE meme shit. FUCK STEPHEN KING!!!

In the dark tower 6 I think it was King inserts himself into the story and recounts the entire getting hit by the van incident in great detail. It was pretty kino actually.

*cemetery
I just btfo myself fuck

King is a blue collar writer. He never pretended to be anything else. It's his fans who make him out his work to be this great literature. It's not. It's not supposed to be. It's competent fast food in written form.
Nothing wrong with that. Lots of people eat fast food. It's comforting. It's easy to digest.
I read King. I like some of it. There are better writters, but they usually don,t have as much books to read.
It's the Agatha Christie principle. She wasn't the best (in the same era and the same genre Elizabeth MacKintosh was 20 times better), but she was good enough and very prolific.

stealth deen koonz thread?

yeah it's kind of strange how people dickride stephen king because he wrote fast food books in the 90's that some directors made into successful films, people don't dickride michael crichton and he wrote fucking jurassic park.

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>self insert
>inserting stuff from other franchises
>lol schizo crippel nigger

nigger tier

>the 4200 pages you just read ? timeloop lol

god tier

My girlfriend wants me to read the Dresden Files but Jim Butcher is a literal katana wielding fedora and I don’t want that shit in my brain. Do I just need to nut up and shut up?

Nobody actually read jurassic park, that's why.

Well, while it could be argued that Dean Koontz is a far worse writer/storyteller than King, I've liked Koontz's best books more than I did King's best.

muh badass doggo
muh guns
muh secret CIA/Army background
muh psychopath who thinks he's supernatural/muh supernatural who thinks he's a god
muh spartan/minimalist living character
muh womyn who enjoy the present moment and sensual pleasures like baths, drinks and food to relax

He considers it his magnum opus, but it's not.
His greatest work is, and always will be, The Stand.

Get the fuck out of here. This can't be real. Is this hack not self-aware?

Watchers was awesome, yeah.
Koontz always has these awesome B-plots, like the psycho-assassin in that, or the biker gang/wife killer in Phantoms.

rita hayworth and shawshank redemption*

It is...The bad guys in (book 6?) are basically Doombots (as in, Doctor Doom) with lightsabers and exploting snitches. It is 100% real, and actually the last 'good' book in the series (Book 6 is debateable), but it has a lot of stupid shit to go with the good.

>search the internet for "best horror books ever"
>google: Stephen King books
>quora: Stephen King books
>some random lit forum: Stephen King books
>reddit: Stephen King books
>goodreads: even the shittiest Stephen King rated >3.5
What the fuck is their problem?

Jurassic Park? The movie was better than the book. I mean the writing of the movie was better than the book.
It's weird since Crichton co-wrote the screenplay.
Crichton used to have his 5 minutes of fame/dickriding. It didn't last. His books are not that well written and the memorable parts don't stand out because of his writting style (at least he's not Dan Brown. That guy is not a good writer at all. Angels&Demons is the only book I started and didn't finish in all my life. It was that bad. Fuck, I read Star Trek fucking novels that were better than Dan Brown!).

A lot of people eat all of his shit up, even the terrible books like Cell.
He can still write well, like in Doctor Sleep, but most of the shit he wrote after the early 90s are just shit.

The Stand, The Dark Tower, and other works of his are great novels through and through.

To be fair they aren’t like ACTUALLY doombots from marvel right? That makes a pretty big difference...

They are full-metal robots who wear green cloaks. And given that everything about them (actually book 5) is a rip-off, I'm pretty sure he was going for Doombots. The only thing he acknowledged directly were the snitches. When one failed to explode, he picked it up and it actually says 'H.P. snitch--exploding model' on it.

They literally are. They wear green cloaks and are literal robots described as having masks. One of the characters from earth mentions they look like doctor doom. The snitches are called "sneetches". It was the most retarded them I've ever read.
Fuck niggers, the dark tower had so much potential.

It's set in a multiverse with a 'central' universe that's the american old west except littered with relics from a previous high-tech civilization that wiped itself out
Which would be cool, except that high-tech civilization apparently had the exact culture of late 20th century USA so their killer robots look exactly like Dr Doom and they use self-propelled seeker grenades which look exactly like golden snitches
Also they're controlled by literal whirling radar dishes on top of their heads like a cartoon, and destroying this deactivates them

Nah, Book 1-4 are great. Book 5 was good, but too padded and slow moving. Book 6 is iffy, and Book 7 had a lot of good ideas, but was pretty poor overall--most editions actually put the afterword before the last chapter where King basically says not to read the last chapter because.

I liked Revival, it was subtle.

didn't he copypasta the entire song of roland into the dark tower?

I do enjoy some of his later works. The more 'intimist' stories, likeThe Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon. His big books (I still read them though. Fan for life I guess) have left me more and more cold since the mid-90s. Even his short stories are not as good.

The Stand comes to a screeching halt once everyone convenes at Denver, then spins its wheels for ~300 pages before it limps across the finish line with a dumb ending. Even King himself admits as much. You bailed out at the right time.

>most editions actually put the afterword before the last chapter where King basically says not to read the last chapter because.
lmao

Misery was the absolute worst film to watch tripping balls.

I suppose that's true. Much of his shorter work is still decent. His short stories never stopped being good. It is mostly the doorstoppers that suck these days.

>don't care for him as a writer
>the film portrayals of his novels are lightning in a bottle
should he have just written screenplays instead?

A lot of good movies suck while tripping. A lot of bad movies are awesome while tripping.
Van Helsing was, by all accounts, a terrible movie, but it's great on shrooms. Same with Dark Shadows or Sucker Punch.

>tfw watched standup comedy while on shrooms and almost suffocated from laughing so hard

the best stephen king movie is in the mouth of madness

Because "The Gunslinger," "The Drawing of the Three," and "The Wasteland" are great.

Time Bandits went from simple fun kino to pure Shakespearian masterpiece.

Maybe? I still think that Maximum Overdrive is an absolute B-Movie masterpiece.

>The Long Walk
>Probably shit

Kill yourself.

Drssden is gooky..read Lolita and Christine

That was a Bloch movie. Not Lovecraft. Not SK. It was all Robert Bloch (he did write Cthulhu Mythos stories though, so I guess the mistake is understandable)

Michael Crichton wrote his books to be movies. In Sphere he has a device that goes around the throat to alter the pitch of someone's voice to sound normal in the helium-oxygen environment of the deep water vessel. You could tell he put that in so that it would be optioned.

You have a shit memory. He's refereing to the wolves who are in service of the crimson King. They're robots and have futuristic weapons stylised from pop culture. Little balls they throw are nicknamed sneetches and they fly around a target and slice them with blades

King also lets the rights to any of his properties go for $1. That alone has made him more prolific than most.

explain to me what's wrong with preferring "Joe killed Mike with a hammer" versus making is prosy. you literally cannot but i'd love to see your attempt

>b-b-b-but you brought him up first!
>r-r-r-rent free!!!!
Literally every response by /pol/fags when rightfully called out on their containment board escape. KYS newfag.

I like his books but he's not the best writer and he sucks at endings. His tone is great though and so are his characters.

I did not read shitty DT novels, but 'On Writing' also slanders the poor bastard.

Most get changed around to fit the limited timeslot. Hooper went bananas with Salem's lot and combined every trait from Barlow into Straker and made Barlow into a smurf Nosferatu. Still like it tho.

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king sold carrie for 300k in early 70s

Pretty sure that's just for small production and indie films.

Probably right. I can't imagine some big studio doing a take and him not asking for more money.

Storm of the Century is the Goat!

Salem's Lot is an insanely underrated horror movie, I watched it again around Halloween last year, tried to make a thread and got about 2 responses.

Never read any book of this hack.
All his stories are formulaic pieces of trash.
S

Nah man, we gotta have 70 threads of GoT and capeshit.

Few can recall the terror it induced because it's not celebrated. The Cultural Marxist programmers are not into the classical heroic trope because of how it is literally the stoic patriarchy personifed and can quite possibly create the Ulysses and Alexander affect. Effectively they fear igniting the altruistic heroics that still exist in all men even the s.o.y kind of whom they want to keep diminished and femanized.

You sound like a fag

Yeah, the moment with Ralph glick scratching on the window as a vampire is creepy as fuck.

As a kid that did me in.

Good news. In the remake Matt burke is a gay nigga and Ben is not an author but a journalist that was writing about bad things America did in Afghanistan.

One would have to execute it well, but if it happened more than once in the story, I see it being interesting.

Same here, that and the scene from Evil dead where the first deadite shows up spooked me so bad i didn't sleep good for a whole week.

Yikes....

You managed to say nothing in two paragraphs.

I haven't read King in years but I always really liked his short story "GGER"

Evil Dead was abstract terror done correctly.

They're out to shit on our heroes. Its best to kill these people because they're intellectually and eventually actually killing us.

I meant the second
part for you

fuck you, I liked The Talisman

Oof!!

who are you quoting?

To be honest he deserves to be ran over again. What a fucking hack and ultra boomer

What a loser

I can see our top scientists explicitly making a female killer robot styled after captain marvel flying around bombing Isis/North Korea/Russia/etc and engaging ground troops in hand to hand combat while making witty quips.
It would be fully funded and sponsored by Disney, and our overlords would be in total cahoots with it, as it breaks down enemy morale,further propagates causes and ideologies we have today to push profits (feminism, women are basass killers, etc since women are emotional spenders and will continue to buy pointless pop culture shit) and we get to defeat our enemies.

MAKE IT HAPPEN DISNEY

>calls others newfag
>cant seem to realize that polfags are literally everywhere
>cant seem to realize anons browse other boards
KYS pls.

>no one mentions trump
>reeee trump
rent free

Why do newfags think this is a gotcha? Using greentext to
>be me
predates using greentext to quote. You morons only out yourselves when you do this.

>I've liked Koontz's best books more than I did King's best
Like?

King is the epitome of Boomer ignorance. His books are mostly r3ddit-tier. He whines about Drumpf despite being upper class and nkt having a real job to worry about. Hes obviously a fucking pedo and probably a murderer or hires murderers but he still thinks he can lecture others on morality.

>calling others newfags while whining about pol on fucking Yea Forums
Dilate your fuck wound, tranny.

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>hit by a moving car
As opposed to a stationary car?

Based and redpilled

Not him, but even though Koontz is poor to average writer at best, Intensity, Watchers and most importantly Phantoms are all phenomenal

>Supremely woke
>HP Lovecraft fanboy
I don't get this

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If you can find it, The Funhouse by Koontz is excellent. He wrote it while Tobe Hooper was working on the film of the same name. The book is really rare though.

that's not funny, my dad died that way

"You are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King"

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based, crimsonpilled

That's not supposed to be a gotcha, I'm genuinely curious which mental illness makes you shit out a rambling post addressing non existing arguments.

>Roland shook his head.

I think he was worried that the series would be unfinished so he rushed it to completion.
Which explains the quality of the last book.

Back before he became really famous, people use to walk up to King's home in Maine and he'd answer and chat you up for a bit (if he wasn't in the middle of one of his coke/drinking binge writing sessions)

Based King was in the right

Horror? it would be a perfect comedy.

>This guy was bound to kill someone.
stop trying to justify murder, stephen.

>TDS: The Post

"Trump" was never mentioned once in any of the previous posts whatsoever until our boy FagAnon decides to inject his opinion on Stephen King but can't make it past 5 words without mentioning orangemanbad...

RENT
FUCKING
FREE

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Deh!

scientificamerican.com/article/mind-control-by-cell/?redirect=1

No where in this thread except by you and one other person has Trump been mentioned. Choke on a baseball bat.

The books are childish but fun

It does imply the loop ends after this one since he has the horn or whatever the Fuck it was. Also king is the king of shitty endings.

>Lord of the Rings
hurr durr power of friendship

>GRRM Collection
hurr durr incest rocks

Your method is subpar, Helen.

>implying

Rightfully called out? Oh, I see. You're one of those that either tries to start drama for fun, or is legitimately retarded and conceptually deficient enough that you think you can reduce all criticism as some political stance.

Because smartphone users are really cancer.

eat shit faggot, only the ending was bad, but the book's ending rocked, the raggedy faggot was eventually killed.