Get a gf

>faggot
Why the homophobia?

did you think the standard response "have sex" was sarcastic?

having sex releases hormones that change the way you think, a majority of the world has sex and thus entertainment is made to cater to that type of person

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Honestly what blew my mind was meeting my ex-gfs family for the first time
Her family was nightmarishly terrible, narcissistic, selfish, mean spirited, plotting, etc. I had never witnessed a family like that besides in movies and tv and had thought it was an exaggeration. My own family was a midwestern placid subdued easygoing family. Suddenly I understood the appeal of these family drama tv shows to victims of growing up in a fractured family like that

Thank fuck she dumped me though because I couldn’t stand those people, let alone dealing with them as in-laws

I wish someone would do that for me. Everyone assumes I have a gf though so that’s a plus.

faggots should be executed

sounds comfy

>22 year old khv
>get a gf
>girls are suddenly interested in me
I fucking hate roasties Robert Johnson was right women are so shit

The same hormones are released during masturbation to porn.

>get bf
>movies don't make sense anymore

What's with all theses boat movies? Why didn't they just run away?

Still here.

No they aren't you dumb virgin. HS

Same, unfortunately.

year old khv
>>get a gf
>>girls are suddenly interested in me
the same thing happened to me, 8 years together. always have girls sniffing around, alone for 4 years, no sex, no one interested.

so you're going to sit at your desk and write code for 40 years and die?

If that's what it takes.

>got a gf
>she gets bored of movies 40 mins like clockwork

>oh user there are TONS of single girls I know, with your looks and personality you could have your pick of the litter
Don't fall for this user, they just want to pair you off with their ugliest friends.

>get get
>2 repeating numbers

i will pray for u

>women try to help you get laid
Things that never happened

>make plans with coworker
>get flaked on
>try to initiate conversation through text
>literal hours before responses
>get a reply
>"my mom is curious of how old you are.."
>mfw her father left and likely has daddy issues
>mfw she's a solid 5/10 19yo 5'11'' absolute unit
Best approach to fuck her? I'm 26yo

>get a gf
>have to explain every fucking movie

bang every women in your office and let your boss watch. become the alphaofficebanger.

>have sex poster has beastiality saved on his computer
Figures

Can you explain the plot of Primer to me? I'm a virgin btw

>be cashier
>couples stare at me and then just put their heads together or kiss on the lips and then stare at me
why do you creeps do this?

Creepy. You’re like moby

your body knows the difference. its a different feeling.

>Why the homophobia?
is this your first day on the internet?

this user.

I read this in that nigger's voice.

Girls love to play matchmaker, maybe if you ever interacted with one you'd know.

I interacted with your mom last night lol

Who? You post like a cuck desu lad

spotted the hole

>lol

>get a gf
>wake up

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Joke's on you, I have two dads.

She’s waiting hours in between to responding because you’re the creepy old guy. Like. Moby.

>>lol

>get repeating last digits
>people star replying to me with patrick batemans now

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years

You fucking suck.

>you are the pathetic loser in the office people feel sorry for and use as their personal circus animal to pass some time until they can get out of the office again
oof man

Sure thing moby.

facebook tourist detected

easy there friend, this is 4channel.

women love to do that shit, gives them a good powerful feeling, it's why The Sims is an all time female favorite. they take any chance they can get at playing doll house

>oof
tranny

>tfw impossible to get a gf and will forever remain kissless touchless virgin

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>she's still there

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Hard dick and bubblegum, my man. Tell them that's all you can offer.

Im not the guy you were shitting on to begin with tranny

Spotted the old used up roastie, I'll give the benefit of the doubt and assume you are male anyway. I'll shed some light for you smooth brain. A woman who's talking about a potential mate with her mother is a good sign, conversations are good and plentiful in person, and I have been told I look way younger than my actual age.

that's because you have a spiky aura, user

>kissless touchless

Gay.

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>have wife
>have mistress
>get divorced
>cheat
>be cheated on
>make peace with part of self that drives selfish, destructive behavior
>finally understand Woody Allen movies

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Lol. Nope. You’re. Moby. And. A. Creep.

>he displays elitism and takes pride in posting on a particular public forum
i've been here since the beginning, and this place is just as shit as everywhere else, can't seem to escape cunts like you.

>humblebrag
kys fagtron

>groom adoptive daughter for 14 years
>marry her and have kids together
>finally understand Woody Allen movies

>there are hormones that make you respond to transforming robots, capeshit, and dinosaur movies

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i turn down any requests like this because i am terrified of sperging out on the date (which I will, been on a few before and I always sperg out without fail) and ruining the expectations people are setting.

You(claps)Sure(claps)Showed(claps)Him

POWERFUL SLAY QUEEN SLAY

I am 25 years old and I never even kissed a girl.

haha

>public forum
zoomer redditfag, you're not fooling anyone

Based

>go out drinking with bi friend
>starts showing me her nudes out of the blue
>suggests we should have some fun with her girlfriend
>her gf is black and a total turn off

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i know right! no 19 year old woman has ever wanted to fuck a mid twenties guy!

>reminder that this guy has neither a job, writes code, or talks to women

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epic style

fuck off with your nigger speak

thats nothing, im 27 and never even held hands with one
never even txted one haha

ok

Reminder this is a discord tranny

it could easily be a real story though. i was working with some coworkers and they did the same thing. it actually hella weird because i had just met them for the first time like the week previous, i was like 6 months into the job and they were trying to set me up with one of their friends.

reminder that this place is a waste of our collective time.

idk, I believe him.

My housemate hooked me up with one of her friends within a day of hearing that I was a virgin.

>hella weird
nigger

kek me too

eat my asshole bitch

>he isn't a scriptwriter feeding off the weaponised autism here for source material
step up, user

>they were trying to set me up with one of their friends

Hope you like 'em fat, user.

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been together for 12 years, married for 5. Didn't meet her until I was 22. There's hope fellas

do i hear a fat bitch?

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>eat my asshole bitch
repulsive zoomer nigger, i hope your cock sucking cunt of a mother gets cancer.

You’re late 20s Moby.

ah-bloo-bloo

I am a disciple of the Architect, yes. The ones on the smaller end anyway. I turned them down though because anxiety/didn't know them for Jack, etc.

I pictures you saying this comment in a real faggy lisp

>get gf
>now find her ugly, dumb and can't stand her anymore
>rely heavily on her (don't have car and I live at her place 4free)
>if I leave her she might kill herself
kill me lads

Boo-hoo you fucking faggot. Let your co-workers hook you up dipshit. I WISH my hot lazy co-workers would hook me up with someone.

>eat my asshole
Zoomers are truly a generation of niggers

t. negroid

You gotta carry that weight, bro. Lord knows she's carrying you.

how did you initially meet her

>get a sex doll
>Kino makes more sense now

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get her to write a will leaving you everything, leave her a month later.

>>respond in the affirmative

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>bf
based and cutepilled

>abusive uncle
>

>get gf
>turn her conservative

humble-bragging cunt

Kill yourself faggot scum

quality post

>humble-bragging
nigger

>don't have car and I live at her place 4free
Cherish that shit before you drop it completely
t. someone who was in the same boat

That's how you know you're ugly as fuck: when women hear you're single they want to hook you up with other ugly as fuck female friends, they never interested themselves. They're doing a charity for the poor.

you sound like a 18 yo valley girl. if you are tits or gtfo, if aren't reconsider the way you write

Get a job fag

how the HECK are you supposed to keep a gf as a reclusive introvert anyway? small talk with coworkers and 1-2 friends and i'm topped up for at least 3 months. even introverted women require constant attention.

>asking how to approach a 5/10
Honestly I just told my wife that I would breed her to her full capacity. At least 10children, if her body can take it 20+ children.

develop mutual hobbies

>get a gf
>shes boring and dumb
>dump her for dubs

Czech em

sounds better than giving half of your time and money to some wench after she takes your child and then dying.

Mental hospital
Not joking
It does sometimes feel great to have a mommy gf who takes care of me and all that, and I know that I might not ever find someone who loves me as much as her ever again in my life and want my children that badly but she's pretty fugly and is extremely fucking dumb and neurotic
I fear that if I drop her I will have great difficulties in life to go back to where I was before and will badly regret the loss of affection and love I used to receive

Ah well. Extremely unlikely to find a woman into the same stuff I am. The "normie" hobbies" I have are filled with Chad's of course. I suppose it's time to hit the gym again and pretend I like socializing.

I've been there lol. They ended up hooking me up with an absolute goddamn monstrosity, but I decided to act nice for the evening because I'm not an asshole. You know what's funny? THAT fucking beast was mad at her friends for choosing a "loser" like me for the date, almost being insulted, she sat there for like 10 minutes and then walked away barely even saying anything to me.

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how bad was it? also why did she think you were a loser, are you overweight/have bad grooming or something?

Yeah I figured that because mommy gfs are pretty rare but she can't be all that bad looking..right?
>I fear that if I drop her I will have great difficulties in life to go back to where I was before and will badly regret the loss of affection and love I used to receive
I would feel the same way user.

based and how a kafkaesque reality you live in

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how would your body know the difference when it's never had sex?

>mommy gfs
young dumb cunt, he's fucking an old hag 99 out of 100 are disgusting.

>also why did she think you were a loser, are you overweight/have bad grooming or something?

I'm fit and dress well, but unfortunately pretty ugly on the face. so I never had success with women and agreed on this endeavor quite reluctantly. And I was right, it resulted in a disaster, I never tried dating since then and those women matchmakers also acted like it never happened.

lrn2code

you didnt say hey your friend, is a huge cunt LOL

kys nigger

>get a gf
>put everything you say through a retard filter to avoid pissing her off

>get gf
>realize it's overrated

Don't fall for the meme lads

>had a dream in which i was hand holding with a girl classmate from school that i last saw 5 years ago
>i remember having butterflies in my stomach and feeling happy as fuck
>expect i never liked her irl, she was chubby and kinda annoying
>tfw i developed a crush on her now
what the fuck you said it was going to get better. i don't even talk with women irl and i still have to deal with this shit in my DREAMS, how is this fair. now i'll spend weeks fantasizing about this girl even though i've never liked her and won't be seeing her until the rest of my life.
i just want it to end.

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I don't even want a girlfriend at this point, i just want a girl to stroke my head

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>dream about fucking a girl I liked in middle school
>wake up covered in sweat looking at my gf and sporting a gigantic erection

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>introvert
>don't have strong romantic feelings
>gf are a huge waste of time
>high sex drive
>not attractive enough to have fwb or poly

escort are starting to burn a hole in my wallet, I could get a gf and pretend and I am in love or what ever but feel bad about leading some girl for who knows how long in a loveless relationship

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>get a gf
>she is a capeshit fan

this is both a curse and a blessing

>getting a gf
>Associating with inferior beings
>Not pumping and dumping her like she deserves

>not revealing your power level

you never do that kiddo

Iktfb, I work at an elementary school where out of 21 teachers 20 are female. They just love talking about their kids and complaining about their ex-husbands and shit. I just want to be left alone but then they ask about my personal life and if I'm seeing anyone. Unprofessional bitches.

I'm 29 and have never touched a girl or been friends with one. What do I do bros

>get gf
>fall in love with her friend
kinos for this feel

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I 100% believe it because I know girls who do that shit. My friend was dating one of the girls on the uni women's tennis team and she was trying really fucking hard to get the single ones boyfriends. Shame she couldn't get me with the South African chick.

Women love to take guys and make them their pet project.

It isn't really something to yearn for, though. It's one of the greatest insults to a man, since the women only chooses the worst fucking losers they can find when they decide to start one of their little matchmaking projects. Otherwise they'd just fuck the guy themselves.

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Now you understand why celibate men (eunuchs, brahmins, ascetics, shamans, monks) have been the intellectual and cultural vanguard of all high cultures.

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>mate gets a gf
>immediately fall in love with her
fuck is wrong with me

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You are a horrible person. I secretely would fuck my friends gf but not when they are together.

Yea Forums the post