SO I PULL OUT MY GUN

Rap opera kino, there will never ever be anything like it.

I PULL OUT MY BERETTA

Oh my god it’s a midget! (midget) (midget) (midget).....

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wew lord that was fucking hilarious. Too bad his career is dead now.

That's not rap retard it's R&B

Seven o'clock in the morning
And the light from the screen wakes me
I'm stretching and yawning
In a chair that don't belong to me
And a voice yells, "Good morning, user" from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me
And to my surprise she ain't my waifu
Now I've got this dumb look on my face like what have I done?
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here 'til the morning sun?
Must have lost the track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
From the kinoplex, went to her home
Didn't plan to stay that long
Here I am, quickly tryin' to put on my clothes
While asking from help from slash tee vee
Tryin' to get on up out the door
Then she stretched her hands in front of it
Said, "You can't go this way"
Looked at her, like she was crazy
Said, "Roastie, move out my way"
Said, "I got a waifu at home"
She said, "Please don't go out there"
"Bitch, I've got to get home"
She said, her husband was comin' up the stairs
"Shh, shh, quiet, hurry up and get in the closet"
She said, "Don't you make a sound, or some shit is going down"
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the fifth floor"
"Shit, think, shit, think, shit, quick, put me in the closet"
And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house
And he walks in and yells, "I'm home"
She says "Honey I'm in the room"
He walks in there with a smile on his face
Sayin', "Janny, I've been missin' you"
She hops all over him and says "I've cooked and ran your bathwater"
I'm telling you now, this girl's so good that she deserves an Oscar
Throws her in the bed and starts to snatching her clothes off
I'm in the closet, like man, what the fuck is going on?

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You're not gonna believe it, but things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said, "There’s a mystery going on
And I'm going to solve it"
And I'm like, "God please, don't let this man open this closet"
He walks in the bathroom
And looks behind the door
She says, "Baby, come back to bed"
He says, "Bitch, say no more"
He pulls back the shower curtain
While she's biting her nails
Then he walks back to the room
Right now, I'm sweating like hell
Checks under the bed (bed)
Then under the dresser (dresser)
He looks at the closet (closet)
I pull out my beretta (Beretta)
He walks up to the closet (closet)
Get closer to the closet (closet)
Now he's at the closet (closet)
Now he’s opening the closet (closet, closet, closet...)

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oh god this flashes me back to a shitty job I had where one of the girls tried to get me to watch basically the whole fucking thing. it's fucking cringe and unbearable.

Same shit, it's like crying about the difference between trash metal and death metal.

Well...
Now he’s staring at me like as if he was staring in the mirror
She yells, "Janny, let me explain"
He says, "You don't have to go no further
I can clearly see what's goin' on
Behind my back, on my computer, in my home"
Then I said, "Wait a minute, now hold on"
I said, "Mister, we can work this out"
She said, "Janny, don't lose control"
I tried to get him to calm down
He said, "Oh, I should have known
That you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house
But the good samaritan in me gave you the benefit of the doubt"
I said, "We need to resolve this"
Then he stepped to me, I'm like, "Whoa
There's a reason I'm in this closet"
He says, "Yeah, what are you talking clothes?"
"I met this girl at the Robert's Kinoplex
And she told me she didn't have a man"
Then he said, "Man, please
I'd kill you if you didn’t have that gun in your hand"
And then I said, "But your 3d chose me"
He said, "Don't give me that mack shit, please"
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting
He steps a little closer
I point my gun and says, "I'm not the one you after"
He says, "Something I bet you didn't know my man
Did she tell you that I was a janitor?"
I said, "Well good that's better, right
Why can't we handle this chris hanson like?"

Attached: chris hanson.gif (225x556, 25K)

No, it's not the same, it's night and fucking day.

And I started to put the gun down
'Til I saw his face still had that frown
She started crying, saying "Baby, I'm sorry"
Then he said, "Baby not as sorry as you're gonna be"
I started inching out
He says, "No, I want you to see this"
Said, "I gotta get out this house"
He said, "Not 'til I reveal my secret"
I'm like "What is going on inside his head?"
Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says
"Hello" (hello?) baby (aha)
“Turn the car around” (what’s going on over there?)
Listen I just need for you to get right back here now" (click)
He looks at me and says, "Well since we're all coming out the closet
I'm not about to be the only one that's brokenhearted"
And she said, "What do you mean?"
And he said, "Just wait and see"
I said, "Somebody better talk to me"
And then his phone rings
He picks up and somebody says "Sweetheart, I'm downstairs"
And he's like "I'll buzz you up
I'm on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs"
And I'm like, "Who is this mystery lady that you're talking to?"
He says, "In time you both will know the shocking truth
Baby, this is something I've been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time"
Then I said, "Janny, I'ma shoot you both
If you don't say what's on your mind"
He said "wait, I hear somebody comin' up the stairs"
And I'm lookin' at the door
He says, "I think you better sit down in the chair"
I says, "I'm gonna count to four"
"1..." he says, "Mister, wait!"
"2...", she says, "Please don't shoot"
"3...", he says, "Don't shoot me"
"4...", she screams
Then a knock on the door, I'm finna about to shoot
He opens the door, I can't believe it's Moot
(Moot… Moot... Moot…)

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I have heard rhythm and blues and that ain't it. That's rap.

Do you think you're talking to someone who's never heard either genres before? It's more day and slightly later in the day when you get off of work. The lines between genres have definitely become blurred since the late 90's and R. Kelly himself contributed to that.

Yea Forums, you never disappoint

You just made me a disappointment

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shut yo mouth cracka

Thanks, but I'm thinking about changing the gun to Cunny. Trying to figure out which girl's name would replace baretta the best. Plus, it'd segue into the chris-hanson like line, the janny being terrified as well as Moot himself being upset.

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This is the superior version.
youtube.com/watch?v=7putw2A4FiI

why's she cook his bathwater

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>She says "Honey I'm in the room"
>He walks in there with a smile on his face
>Sayin', "Janny, I've been missin' you"
oh ho ho ho no NO NO NO
GET FUCKED JANNY AHAHAHA

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It was kino

how did a post in the middle of this thread get stickied

Please continue

>Yea Forums sings "It Ain't Me" but they're also Trapped in the Closet

great shit lads

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I think referring to them as "little people" is way more disrespectful. Correct me if I'm wrong.

What happened to Moot?

Literally who?

Black people are awesome

Hahahahah oh my gosh, did Yea Forums just find a new meme?

>that episode where his brother in law's ex gf reveals that she's a dyke and is also pregnant with his child
that shit was so fucking kino

Chapter 21 was oscar worthy
youtu.be/GzRBrZNqyPs

They really need to fuck off and leave R alone until he finishes Trapped.

Usually he blows off controversies by making a new volume of TITC. Fingers crossed.

based

watching trapped in the closet is one of the oldest Yea Forums past times
how new are you?

>needed to slip into something more comfortable like... another suit
Kino

Pretty new desu. I started browsing Yea Forums around late 2017/ early 2018, mostly lurking /pol/ then lurking to other boards since then.

Putting on a trip to finish chapters 3-5. Gonna post more tomorrow.

Well, here we are, the four of us
In total shock, me and her
I finished my post and pressed submit
As I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep shit!"
And I said, "So you're gonna tell me he's the one you been talking to?"
He says, "Yes", I says, "No"
He says, "Maybe", I says, "I don't-", he says, "Can you repeat the question?"
I yell, "All of y'all ass is crazy, let me up out this board
Because this is way more than I bargained for"
And then she says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"
Then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't got a damn thing to do with this!"
But then she said, "But wouldn't you like to know just how it all began?"
Then I thought to myself, and said, "Quick, you got three minutes"
And then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"
Then she said, "My God, Morris! I've got just one question:
How could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"
He looked at her and said, "Bitch please, you've got your nerve
With all your GOT posting, lying saying you weren't spamming
And now here you are in our board, and you're saying I'm for free?"
She said, "Okay, you busted me!
And that much I agree, you've caught me spamming!
But this is a little extreme!"
He said, "You are my wife sleeping behind my back
And now I come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!"
And she said, "But she's a he!"
Then moot said, "Please, you can't judge me"
She said, "Morris, this is crazy!"
Then I said, "Stop arguing!

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This is me, forgot my trip.

I did not stay here to hear y'all chew each other out
So, get to the point, or I swear I'm out!"
"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here
My name is Moot and I been knowing Morris about a year
At midnight creeping around with him has been a living hell
Sneaking in and out of hotels
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"
Then Morris said, "Moot, please! Don't say nothing else!"
Then she screams, "Morris, you son of a bitch"
He says, "Sue Ellen, go to hell!"
I said, "I thought you said your name was Francine
That what you said at the Ciney
Man this is gettin' scary, I'm gonna shoot somebody"
Then Morris starts yelling and screaming, saying, "Sue Ellen, this is all your fault!"
She throws a pillow at him and says, "You were creeping too
The only difference is you didn't get caught!"
Moot screamed out, "WE'RE IN LOVE!"
Sue Ellen says, "Love my ass!"
Morris said they're getting married, then I shoot one in the air!
Then I said, "Not another one of you sons of bitches say a word!
'Cause all this shit I'm going through is unheard!"
I grabbed my cellular
Said, "This is so wrong", I call up my home
And a man picks up the phone (phone, phone, phone...)

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Kino

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Now I'm erasing porn
Frying my hard drive
Swiping side to side, with fire in my eyes
I got a million thoughts
Going through my mind
I'm thinking about what I'ma do
And who I'm gonna do it to when I get home
How could I have been so blind?
And then I look in my rear view
I cannot believe this
(Whoo whoo whoo)
Damn, here comes a policeman
He drove right up on me and flashed his badge
Then I pulled over without thinking twice
He hops out the car and walked over to me
And said, "Telly loicsence and roger's station please."
I looked up at him and said
"Officer, are you a britbong?"
He said, "Jolly good, by da queen yous 'ere viewing pornofee in an illegal zone"
Then I said, "Officer
Let me explain please
You see the truth of the matter is
Is that I got an emergency."
He said, "No excuses and no exceptions."
I said, "This is some bullshit.", as he gave me the ticket
Said, "'Ave a noice dey.", and walked away
I said, "Yeah right.", and drove away

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Then I turned my VPN on
And watched CP all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go in through the back
Bust up in the house
Pull back the shower door
And she screaming, "What's all that for?"
Then I'm like, "Girlie I called this house
And a man picked up my phone"
Then she said, "Calm down
Did you forget my brother Ron came home"
"Oh..."
And that's all I could say was oh
With a stupid look on my face
Said, "I forgot he came home today."
And she said, "That's okay
Because honey I understand
She said you don't have to explain."
Then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
Then I turned some Nolan on
Apologized one more time
Then went down and start getting it on
And she started biting her lip
Grabbing me and making noise
Now we making love and she's in my ear whispering
"You're a big guy!"
I said, "For you."
And she said, "Well congratulations!"
Then a tear fell up out my eye
And then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said, "You got yourself caught."
And that's when I start goin' insane
Like I was tryin' to crash a plane
The room feel like it's spinning
Cause we keep turning and turning
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curling
The next thing ya know, she starts going real wild
And starts screaming my name
Then I said, "Baby, we must slow down
Before I tear my mask off in great pain."
And she said, "Please no don't stop."
And I said, "I caught a bat."
Then she said, "Please keep on going."
I said, "His back is about to crack."
Then she cries out
"Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax."
And I said, "Cool, climax
Just let go of my cape!"
She says, "You're the perfect lover."
I said, "I can't go no further."
Then I flip back the cover
Oh my God, a rubber (rubber, rubber, rubber...)

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And now, I'm like
"Well, well, well, what the fuck is this?
A red nose in my bed
You better start talking, fucking bitch
'Fore I take a match and make this motherfucker rise!"
I said, "You better start talking
And start talking right god damn now"
Then she said, "user, I'm so speechless"
Then I said, "My baby, you gon' be breathless
If ya don't start talking quick
Waifu, I'm gon' have a fit
You don't know what ya fucking with
Girl ya better cut the bullshit
Now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home
In my bed, and plus I smell cigarettes."
Now I'm sniffing and looking around
Suspicious like someone's here
And then I looked in her eyes
And in her eyes there was so much fear
Pull out my cunny said, "Is he still here?"
She shook her head and said nah
I'm checking behind every door
She cried out, "He left right after you called."
I said, "What the fuck was you thinking?
Thought that I wouldn’t find this out?
Then I said you must be crazy or
On crack to have somebody off up in my motherfucking house"
She hopped up and said, "That's enough."
She said, "I can't take no more."
And then she said, "You made your point
But now it's time to even the score."
She said, "I know all about last night
And where you went when you left the kinoplex."
Said, "That's right, faggot I was there
With this guy in the back of the kino."
I said, "I thought you was with yo' girls?"
She said, "I thought you was with yo' guys?"
She said, "You was at that bitch's house
And don't even try to act surprised."
I say "babe...", she said, "Shut up
Don't you say a word
It ain't nothing you can say
That I ain't already heard."

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Then I said, "Woman, don't you try to turn it all around
'Cause the fact still remains that someone else was in my house."
Then she said, "You're right about that
Something did go down, but I don't have to turn it around
'Cause what goes around comes back around."
I'm moving a little closer to her
She's tripping over the furniture
She said, "Wait first, just let me explain."
I said, "No need to just give me his name."
And then she said, "Uh... uh"
I say, "Uh, what?"
She said, "please sit down in a chair"
And I say, "No, I'm standing up"
And then she cries out, "I'm so scared to tell you
Because of what you might do"
And I screamed, "Look girl, you better give me this man's name
And I'm not playing with you."
She says "Okay", wipes her nose and then asks me about a girl named Boxy
I thought to myself said it sounds familiar
Then I said, "I probably know her if I seen her"
Then I said, "Anyway, girl
What the hell does that got to do with this man?"
She said, "He know my girl Taylor"
I said, "Who the hell is Taylor?"
Then she says, "Taylor's a friend of mine
Who knew this guy named Moot
Moot's cool with this guy named Morris"
And I'm sitting here like, "what the fuck?!"
Then she says, "Morris' wife, Sue Ellen
We both went to wizard school
She introduced me to the policeman that stopped you"

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Go back to wherever you came from. You're a cancerous faggot

Here's the pastebin with the updated chapters 1-2
pastebin.com/qkMJQNrc

I changed the gun to pure motherfucking cunny, anons. The bane of moot and Janny alike! Plus, imagining Sylvester-user whipping out a picture of pissy cunny to stop people in their tracks would be absolute kino, would it not?

I shall be back tomorrow to continue to weave my tale of Yea Forums!

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The midget shits himself, Twain’s baby Mama was lesbian, Pimp Luscious has a stutter, and everyone has aids.
Also I love how R Kelly played the Narrator, the main character, and three other side characters. Pure kino.