How close you are to this depiction?

How close you are to this depiction?

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sneed

Not even close. I don't even own a polo shirt

6 years away, more fucked up, arguably just as happy.

>consumerist retard who wastes all his money on children's toys
not having sex was the least of his problems

4 more years im there. honestly the dude cucked out giving all his shit away to pay for some roastie who if there was a sequel she would be fucking some dude behind his back. luckily the roastie rebellious daughter would probably be fucking him or seducing him.

>Kat Dennings at age 18

Literally no one on Earth would blame him for trying to hit that

>not having sex was the least of his problems

all of his "friends" giving him shit advice is the entire cause of the movie.

can't get shit advice from friends if you don't have friends.

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>36
>not a virgin
>still live at home

Welp. At least I have a kickass knife, coin, gun and video game collection.

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I was molested when I was younger

14 years. God please save me from myself

26 khhv reporting in!

If I hadn't lucked out with a girlfriend in college, I think I would have honestly made it until like age 28 without having sex. I lived at home for years after college, had a small social circle, and was an absolute autist with women.

nice excuse

Come to Russia, where american alt right dicks are valued. Russian girls are easy.

>tfw 24 and finally not a virgin anymore

>Russian girls are easy.
and almost all of them have aids

>come to this country where people speak a completely different language

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Unironically very close
>39 years old
>virgin
>I wear polo shirts a lot
>I have one exactly like that (only different color)
>my hair is similar (I comb them to the side like this guy but they are less greasy and more grey)
>I have almost the same awkward smile and dead stare
Now for the things I'm not like this guy
>I'm less happy
>I'm more fucked up and jaded
>I live in the parents basement
>unlike this guy I never came close to having sex or scoring
Ask me anything and I may answer

Fuck off you boomers.

>Russian girls are easy
Don't you mean Ukraine?

How tall are you?

1,82m

>50
>I ruin lives just to test hunches and odd experiments
>I look at women as yet another blob of clay to manipulate and distort
>some might say I've lost sanity, but I remain solidly in the process of defining it to my own contexts

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How'd you ended up like that? Do you work?

>How'd you ended up like that?
Many mistakes.
Wrong ideas.
Always scared to do the wrong thing so didn't take chances.
Wrong ideas.
No confidence and no self esteem.
Always putting other people needs before my needs.
Wrong ideas.
>Do you work?
Yes.

>not getting a high end escort who does GFE and seeing her on a regular basis to trick yourself into thinking you have a gf
I'm disappointed

21 years old

Haven’t had sex
Haven’t kissed a woman
Haven’t been on a date
Haven’t held hands

I’m not sure how this has happened because I am a good talker (do stand up comedy) and decent looking cause I am getting matches on tinder. Going on my first date next week. No idea how to go for a kiss or even what to do if it happens

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>No idea how to go for a kiss or even what to do if it happens
Just copy the girl's movements, when she opens the mouth, open it too, and just keep mimicking what she does.

>being tall assures you to attract women

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>No idea how to go for a kiss or even what to do if it happens
Use your skills to make her laugh at relax.
You are a good talker and you do stand up comedy so you have no problem.
Keep getting closer to her.
Wrap your hand around her back.
Lock your eyes to her eyes.
Lean towards her and kiss her in the mouth.
>Lean towards her and kiss her in the mouth
Lean towards her and kiss her in the mouth.
>Lean towards her and kiss her in the mouth
Lean towards her and kiss her in the mouth.
>Lean towards her and kiss her in the mouth
Lean towards her and kiss her in the mouth.
>Lean towards her and kiss her in the mouth
This is all you have to do, in a way you force the kiss, chicks like that.

Any plans on changing things? At 39 you still have 11 active years, why not go for it? What is the job?

Boo hoo. You haven't missed shit.

Refocus and start earning.

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>No idea how to go for a kiss or even what to do if it happens

Grab vagene or bob and take it from ther.

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Just fuck it up and get it over with. What might be legit is to be honest, she might like it no lie.

>Any plans on changing things?
I'm trying.
I haven't given up completely and I refuse to stop working and just collect NEETbux.
Recently I almost thought I would make it since I had my first "dates" with women but it ended in epic failure which made me go back.
I understand now that it's almost impossible to make up for the lost time but I will keep trying against the odds because I'm not in the mood to kill myself just yet and I have nothing better to do.

Don't overthink it and be ok with looking retarded. First time i fucked my now wife i literally came when her pussy made contact with my dick and we just laughed it off

According to my friends I was a late bloomer
>18
I got so much shit cause of it too

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>Going on my first date next week. No idea how to go for a kiss or even what to do if it happens

It's not rape if you plead ignorance.

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21 soon.

Tfw been rejected by every girl and even tried online dating and over the course of a month or 2 messaged like 200 girls and 90% blocked me and the others replied with a few messages then ghosted me
Its kinda shit when you realise how undesirable you are

>First time i fucked my now wife i literally came when her pussy made contact with my dick
not as bad as me
>couldn't stay hard with condom
>say something like: oh that never happened to me before
>she's jacking me off
>get hard again
>literally come after fucking her for 30 seconds
so embarrassing.

>First time i fucked my now wife i literally came when her pussy made contact with my dick and we just laughed it off

Ten years later, nobody's laughing.

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have sex

Lose weight and stop talking about the Avengers.

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Good, keep going user. I'd say living outside of your parents' basement would be a start, will also boost your confidence, maybe hitting the gym too.

You'll figure it out.

Are you me? I been going to gym for 6 months and traveling more. Gonna try again after 2 years of gym and traveling. Should have a better body and sweet traveling pics to make me more desirable.

youtu.be/dBo5-6WotEM

Any more kinos like this?

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I'm not overweight and I didn't talk about shit like that to them

Your fathers are loser failures and you self inflict yourselves with failure to normalize it

Fucked your mom.

Three holes weren't enough, we arranged another. Your dad's ass.

No one's happy, now.

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>I'd say living outside of your parents' basement would be a start
That's one big goal I have but I have to fix my financial situation slightly first.
But I'm working on it.

Online dating's a scam. Fuck fat girls. Win-win.

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Yes but what is happening in the kiss, am I just touching lips? In the movies I’ve seen they’re more like biting each other’s lips

My wife has tonnes of single mother friends who are dying for a guy to support their kids. I'm sure they'll give you all the sex you ever need of you stick around

I prefer hot prostitutes desu

>movies
It's all lies, don't believe them.
Especially modern movies.
You can watch movies before the 60s, preferable 30s and 40s to get tips on good kissing techniques.

Just touch lips and then your instincts will take over, make sure you both drink so alcohol first so you are relaxed and use your hands too.

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>single mother
It's better to stay a forever virgin than mess with single mothers.
Your life is shit, you don't want to make it shittier and end up being a cuck.

Single mothers see only your wallet, more than the average woman.
If you are a NEET you are safe from single mothers.
If you are a virgin though with a job and a good income (depends on her financial situation) you are the target of single mothers.
They are predatory animals and they will use all the tricks (sex, promises, affection) to get to your wallet until they take everything from you and move to the next victim.
Stay safe.

This is true, but I dated women with kids. Your fun is 1/10 what is with girl with no kids. Sex can be lit though. Drama usually astronomically high.

I dunno man we had one over last night. She's Japanese and really cute and friendly and her kids are cute. Apparently her ex was psychologically abusing her or something. I really hope she finds a nice guy

It's always the ex's fault

Just reading this alone gave me anxiety.
How the fuck do you people do this

Yeah i guess. I've never met him so i can't really judge

>constantly struggling with acne since i turned 14
>28 now

i dont even consider the option. i am thoroughly broken and defeated.

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Alcohol.

>It's always the ex's fault
This.
It's always the ex's fault, never the woman's fault.
That's statistically impossible, single mothers are compulsive liars or crazy and destructive.
I know it sounds mean but that's how it is.

I don't understand the alcohol meme either, when i drink I don't get more social at all, the literal opposite happens where I stop giving a fuck about anyone around me holding that faux normalfag facade and I just go straight home

It's easy man.
Use your stand up comedy and talking skills and alcohol.
Don't overthink it.
Just do it.

How much did you drink? It takes a lot for me to lose inhibition even though I am extremely alcohol naive.

Well from their pov, men coming into relationships with your mindset is what ruins them. If you hold that opinion it with affect the way you interact with your partner and you'll inherently distrust them and sabotage the relationship. This is the personality of every guy I've seen with a broken marriage. Not saying women are perfect but in most cases especially when kids are involved men have all the power in terms of maintaining marriage stability and if they're insecure it never works. Only way marriages ever work is if men accept that women are flawed and far weaker and not berate them for it

You drink alcohol to turn off your logic temporarily because you are too self aware.
You should let your instincts take over.

9 years if prostitutes don't count.

Im the stand up comedy user, that wasnt me, I dont get anxiety while talking to women. It’s just that I’m like 10 years overdue for this stuff and think the girl will be weirded out that I don’t even know how to kiss

Anyways thanks for the help boyo, you and the others who posted. I’ll just wing it and if I fuck it up atleast it’s experience

I am 31 but my wife has 3 kids and I like to pretend they are mine.

Maybe they even are!

>know how to kiss

Its not rocket science

I'm not the stand up user. Hard to not overthink it after 25 years of absolutely no experience.
A few rounds of shots usually is enough for me to stop caring about anyone around me.
My instinct is to go home though.

I'm 36 but not a virgin. Haven't had sex in over 13 years, though. My biggest problem is I still need a good enough income source to live independently. Nothing else really matters if you're still living with parents at this age.

I want you to tell her the truth. I want to know how the truth works. I can't because I'm not new to any of this shit so I can't do it. I feel like most women would be responsive to it and show you all kinds of shit. Women aren't like movies where they would get grossed out or weirded out. I feel like she would be all into it.

I have interacted with many single mothers lately. Some of them I respect them a lot and they are OK.But when it comes to relationships they transform completely. And it's obvious that it's their fault or at least 50/50, never 100% the man's fault. You just have to observe how they act around potential mate, like a spider that uses her net to catch flies.
You can talk to them but you should never date them unless you want to risk everything.

>know how to kiss
You already "know" how to kiss.
It's not something that your logical mind does.
It's something your instinct does.
Kissing is something you "know" since you were born.
Trust your instincts and let go.

>My instinct is to go home though.
Nope, that's your logic.
You overanalyze things, your logic tells you that things may go wrong and you want to leave.
If you let your instincts take charge you can do it without thinking of the consequences.

Yeah but just hope that doesn't mean making a move on a girl that has a boyfriend or doesn't like you and everyone sees it then the bouncers kick you out, I've seen it happen

So what man? Taking punches and getting shoved out of the club is part of the game.

My God if you are at this point why the fuck do you still care you’ll ger some used up old hag who can’t even have kids at best, so fucking pathetic, why did you let that other user who’s probably a 20 yrs old child treat you like a fucking retard telling you to wash your anus, my fucking god

how to get a girl like pic related?

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It's the other way around for me.
Logic is in charge before I drink, holding that normalfag facade with others and trying to be social with my """friends""" because I know that's what I need to do, and when that part of the night comes where I finally drink enough where I stop caring about what they think of me or anyone else around me so I usually go home without even saying goodbye to anyone.

Maybe I shouldn't drink at all

I lost my virginity when I was 14. So 35%?
I haven't fucked in months though so maybe that's more relevant

she knows

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Be born with angelic God like looks along with a bank account that exceeds 20 trillion usd

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In my case it starts to get tiresome after it happens multiple times, and if you're in your hometown they remember you and you'll get barred. Then I remember the "game" is just desperately trying to fuck some slag and that it's pretty pathetic

One helluva shitting apparatus

Do you not like your friends?

>putting pussy on a pedestal
No woman is worth that much, you just have to be confident and you can get any woman you want.

Then why can I only attract Mexicans and chinks?

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>you just have to be confident and you can get any woman you want.

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Confident + being socially normal and capable of being interesting, confidence means anyone can approach a hot girl but just that alone isn't enough

>putting pussy on a peddle stool
cringe

It's funny you posted this picture because the left and the right guy are exactly the same but the left one radiates confidence while the right one radiates insecurity.
If the right one was confident, washed and combed his hair, fixed his smile, trimmed his beard and put on some proper clothes he would be just as good looking as the left guy.

her shit tastes amazing i bet

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>trimmed his beard
He doesn't have one

>peddle stool
Cringe

>Just change your whole personality bro
Its not as easy as flicking on a light switch

thanks doc

you're obviously being ironic but there is some retards who actually think that

They are closer to work acquaintances than friends

I never said that it is easy but when you fix your confidence your looks improve.
The guy on the right is unattractive not due to bad genetics but due to no confidence which affects his looks.

As I said here confidence is needed but just that alone isn't enough

Yeb of India

>left and the right guy are exactly the same

Delusional.

6 more years. Had sex about once a year for the past 4 years. I've been ghosted after 99% of the dates I've attempted in the past 4 years so my confidence is completely in ruins and I feel discouraged from ever trying again to avoid more pain. I'll probably never try again. I honestly wish I still was a true virgin. Having experienced sex and knowing what you miss is far worse.

>Having experienced sex and knowing what you miss is far worse.

So what exactly do you miss?

99% of dates in 4 years? That sounds like a lot of dates. Sounds like you fuck up on the date and just need to learn how to fake it until you make it. Then you can be the real sperg lord you are.

you guys who have reached 30's without fucking, seriously GET A FUCKING HOOKER. It's not a big deal. Get drunk and do it

The thing is that you can't "just get a hooker" if you're a late kissless virgin

>look up for an appropriate hooker online
>call/message the hooker and set up the time and place of meeting
>look up for an appropriate hotel online
>go call up for a hotel room and pay up/reserve a room for that certain date
>day comes, go buy condoms and then drive to that hotel, go inside and wait for the hooker to come
>when she comes have some meaningless dumb small talk before you get to the room
>get into your room, get undressed and try to have sex for the first time in your life with basically a complete stranger while never even kissed a girl
>when it's over you get dressed, pay the hooker and then go home
Would bail out on step two already my famalam

I can't kiss a hooker though?

Haha, what a silly concept

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I fucked escorts off backpage throughout my 20s. I had sex with my first civilian last year at 30. It took awhile to get use to having real sex with a woman. Being able to kiss them, foreplay, not feeling rushed, taking my time, no condom, etc.

That movie is pretty out of date in the tinder world.

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17 years, I'm definitely gonna an hero before my 30th, I'll just experience as much of life before it

>I had sex with my first civilian last year at 30.
This should be a line in a Sam Raimi movie

4 years

stop thinking lad. get coked up or whatever, just do it, go cock first

you can do anything with enough money (less than you think)

13 years to go

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...

>Having experienced sex and knowing what you miss is far worse.
it's not. this is a virgin cope.
imagine dying without ever experiencing something as natural as sex

>not wanna be virgin in 2019

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4 more years!

I'm not close to 40, but I'm a ghost to women and that's how I'll end up.
I just wanna hold hands with someone bros

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Imagine dying without accomplishing anything but your biological teleology.

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hold my hand over this (You) my fren

i wish i had a gun so i could kill myself

Thanks fren

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Do I still get my wizard powers even if I've kissed women?

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9 years and I'll finally become a grand wizard.

Hostel gave me an eternal fear of Slavic whores

past that by 5 years. i never cared or wanted to have sex with anyone. ever. weird but there you go.

instead of doing that, how bout get a hooker?
anxiety? tell your doctor. do something faggot

lmao imagine actually being a 25yo virgin though haha

I'm 25 and I never even kissed a girl.

Pretty far from it I lost it this week at the ripe age of 28.
I never copromised about my desire to not fuck a skank and I did it
After losing my shot with a 10/10 20 years old I got with an 23 pretty girl.
It was well worth the wait even though if I was more confident I would have fucked the 20 years old when I had the chance instead of waiting for the next date that never came
LIFE S GOOD MY NIBBAS

I lost it at 33.
My only regret was spending all those years obsessing about and suffering over something so vain.
VAginas stink too.
This.

Same but 26, also there are no females in my uni classes and my social circles are almost devod of them in general.

>claim to be funny
>claim to be good looking
>sexless, kisless, handholdless virgin at 21
Bro, either that's not true, or you're straight retarded. What do you think is actually preventing you from getting girls?

I want to blame my parents for putting me in all boys school till 16. But the last 5 years, I don’t know man

7 years away.
Probably not going to bother trying to lose it, the kind of woman I'm looking for simply does not exist in this world.

>I want to blame my parents for putting me in all boys school till 16.
cope

Was on my way there in a straight line right up until 25.
Made a resolution to lose my virginity due to a fateful encounter.
Lost it 2 months later.
This was about a year ago.
Made love to 5 women in total now.
Getting laid regularly currently.

Had Saturday morning sex. It sucks you guys don't fuck.

Exactly ten more years

Be an attractive male.

Alright assuming you're telling the truth about your looks and have decent conversation skills you shouldn't have anything holding you back. Make her laugh and be pleasant. For me, I usually go for the first kiss at the end of the first date. When you're saying goodbye to eachother, put your arms around her and kiss her, don't go too hard with the first kiss unless she takes the lead and does so. If that goes well you can make out on second date. Some girls will make out on first date but that depends.

Be an attractive alpha.

*fixed

That's me at 29. No women in sight.

i had sex once when i was 19, so I'm good and don't have to worry about anything aside from remembering to pay my taxes

For that?
Yeah, you have to be top tier alpha.

Is it sarcasm? Do you think a female specimen like that seeks anything other than an exact male equivalent of her?

13 more years and I'm sure I'll make it because I can't see myself changing. I can talk with girls fine but I can't take it any further, I can't imagine any girl liking me in a romantic way so I just don't try because no matter what it feels hopeless, there's just a mental block and I can't get over it myself so I'll remain this way.

>men accept that women are flawed and far weaker and not berate them for it
so when they eventually cheat, you should just accept her flaws and weakness and forgive her?

seems like she gets more creeped out the longer the guy films her

have sex

>dying for a guy to support their kids
Why the fuck can't they support their own kids?
This always baffles me, how the fuck could you fork over literally thousands of dollars yearly to some fucking brat that isn't even yours. That's arguably even worse than a cuck getting tricked into raising a kid that isn't his since you KNOW you aren't the dad going in with a single mother. The only time it would be even remotely acceptable is a widow.

Desperation. They can't find a woman who will have children with them, so they find a single mother to have some sort of a resemblence of a family life.

So what would your preferred method of suicide be? I'd like to be ejected into space without a suit on. shit would be so cash

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I got 60% of the way there before getting laid

But he's rich at the end when he sells the toys. Jealous?

>how the fuck could you fork over literally thousands of dollars yearly to some fucking brat that isn't even yours
Raising kids is hard. They just want your 'support' as in support in doing so, so the job becomes easier.

lmao bullshit my friend, women are a fucking black hole for cash and there's no way they aren't carrying that behavior over to their bastard brats

she secretly enjoys it

_

12 more years

6 years

Past it by 3 years

Feels good man

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