What would you do in this situation?

>It's okay. I won't let Luv step on you ;_;

Ask why lexi belle and sand snake are on my porch also why am I keanu reeves and how did these cameras get in my house.

thank you

>the list goes on
mfw your irl gf is #1 but you want #2

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That's like peak lexi belle, too.

Both.

This stuff happens to me all the time, then I wake up.

This. I basically hide under my bed when the doorbell rings.

Fuck both and accept my death

prep the bull

imagine being able to kiss Ana's prime soft lips sensually just once

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>opening the door to anyone except girl scouts

literally nothing different than the movie
I don't care if they ruin my life, I get to fuck Ana in her prime

he doesn't die

Ive never seen this movie but I would politely tell them to fuck off.

just imagine the feel of her soft, plump lower lip slowly unsticking from your lips from all the wet, warm saliva acting as glue

fug

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wonder how they got buzzed into my building and how they made to the top floor before finding someone else to let them in

Imagine how gross it would be if you abducted along with those two and turned into a human centipede ewww imagine what would happen when one of them had to go poo oh gross haha

i don't answer the door

Nope. They made it a point to say that they spend weeks scoping out their targets, studying their habits and learning about them. They don't fuck about with NEETs, only family men with something to lose.

Pretend that i don't speak english then talking to them in an offensive Chinese accent

>loses wife and kids
>career ruined
>manager dead
>on video fucking an underage (as far as the viewer can tell) girl
Not dead, but still basically fucked for life.

send them away and then make a "wwyd" thread on 4channel

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do a 360 and walk away

Attached: ADA-KK.webm (800x332, 2.97M)

Same. I literally get on the floor and crawl to the closet and hide in there for a bit incase they look through the windows to see if anyone is home.

Note that I only do this because I shower like once a month for when I have to go out to get food, and I'm naked all the time at home, and so I look and smell bad and don't want to have to put on clothes and make sure I look ok just to answer the door.

Take Ana's wet underwear to dry and then furiously sniff it.

Even if I knew what was coming after I fucking would particularly if Ana de Armas is involved in any way

You don't like free pizza? What are you, vegan?

>Not seeing the crazy eyes and avoiding those bitches like the plague.
The eyes chico, they never lie.

CHOCOLATE WITH SPRINKLES

>I'll let you in, but only if you promise to be psycho femdom chicks
>And I mean actual dom. You better peg me and kick my testicles, don't just play loud music or some lame shit like that

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Probably the same exact this Jon wick did, except I wouldn't let myself get "captured" by 2 weigh-100lbs-soaking-wet teenagers like a dumbshit. Fuck he even takes them and drops them off and they still come back and manage to restrain and fuck with him

I really hope you are joking.

Where do you think we are?

Attached: ADA-B&WD.webm (640x1080, 2.99M)

Somewhere where people troll and joke

flat and no ass
wow

Cute doggo, the only thing I paid any attention to

You know, every girl's first love is their daddy, huh?
BASED AND REDPILLED

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Look at her titties.

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You anons are insufferable.

Attached: ADA-PUPDB Por un puñado de besos.webm (1000x816, 1.96M)

where dey at

What happens? Do they rape him? I use rape loosely.

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Because a doggo is cute and I looked at it? ease up, laddy

They sex him, so there is a threesome and then the proceed to fuck with him entirely and ruin his life.

>and ruin his life.
what do his wife and kids do?

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let this be a lesson to all sex havers.

>and then the proceed to fuck with him entirely and ruin his life
But how, he doesn't tell them to fuck of after there threesome?

don't pretend they are small
you know damn well no real tits get as big as the shit you watch on hentai haven

Are we talking real world or movie universe? Because I'd be doing different things based off of that.
Real world, they're just hoes trying to take advantage of someone they think is retarded. I'd grab some food, stare at them through the window, and just keep eating while watching them. Maybe yell out loud enough for them to hear "dang I'm so glad I'm inside where it's cozy, warm, and not wet everywhere!"
Universe world, fuck that shit I'm going to let them have their way with me. ;^)

I mean they arent big? Good size but if you called those big you would be wrong.

threaten to shoot if they dont leave. anyone with half a brain knows this is a ruse

breed ana and kick the other one to the curb

He does, and they don't.

Oh, user.
boobpedia.com/boobs/Airu_Oshima

Sex haver here.
The only thing important for tits is that they are at least big enough to partially titfuck.

ADA meets that qualifier.

There is also a thing as too big.

FREE FUCKING PIZZA

elaborate
still don't know how they actually ruin his life

>There is also a thing as too big
Imagine being this gay like holy shit.

Come home to him buried in the backyard and their house destroyed, with his phone playing the sex video from Facebook. The sexy teens win and move on to fuck with the next married guy.

It was somewhat entertaining but more fap bait than anything

>There is also a thing as too big.

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murder right
kidnap and rape left until wife came home then hope she's cool with it
if not gotta kill wife too

At a certain size, god givens just become this disgusting mashup of flesh.
At that same size man mades are equally disgusting and far too firm for what a boob should feel like.

For aesthetics, I don't mind massive anime titties, but in practice it's just not the same.

have sex

How did these two skinny girls bring down a dude like keanu reeves?

see

Top tier Keanu acting in this movie, lol.

youtube.com/watch?v=V26_aT_WZ_4

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Attached: freepizza.jpg (670x465, 161K)

My mouth

>>manager dead
the girls kill a guy?

By bonking him over the head when he isn't looking, then tying him up for the rest of the movie. Remember, the Keanu in this movie is an architect, not the Baba Yaga.

There definitely is. That is not to say big tits are bad. It's the same idea with bigger chicks, there is a "okay this is fine" point and a "okay you are just an obese lardass" cut off.

Is this movie keanu kino?

Have better sex

No, but they play keep-away with his inhaler while he has a stress induced asthma attack. He drops dead.

kinu

Drug them, tie them up in my basement and rape the living piss, blood and shit out of them.

>doorbell rings
>my car is in the driveway so they know I'm home
>can't pretend I'm not home

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fucking hell wtf is wrong with women

I doubt they would even have enough strength to knock him out like that. Would have made more sense for them to drug him in his sleep or something

I dunno if I'd consider it that, he honestly kind of sucks in it. He makes it funny (many times when it is not supposed to be), because his acting becomes comical. The 2 girls are fun enough.

Give them some towels and put their clothes in the drier. Then I'd make them a cup of tea and chat about their hopes, dreams and ambitions. And yes, I'm gay.

clean your garage

>fuck off old hags.

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wtf i love lexan cubi belle now

Yes you can, just don't answer the door regardless of your car being there. They aren't going to stand there all day.

They're written by Eli Roth.

It's pretty dumb, and they give him this wound that is healing near his shoulder so they can have an excuse of why they are able to overpower him because the girls know about it and press on it to "subdue" him. It's really laughable that these 2 skinny ass teens manage to restrain him at all even despite this

Why would you even trust some hot girls that offer you free sex. At best you end up with an std. Theres no way that could happen unless you are some kind of celebrity

she looks terrible here, would not let her in

How is Keanu so fucking based

Movie hinted that his wife was withholding sex from him for several months. Dude was sexually frustrated as hell.

The only size that is too big, is when it gets bigger then their whole body and they become immobile.

Im a perma virgin and still would be able to figure it out

>nubile soaking wet hot girls show up to house while wife and kid are away
>have sex
>tries to get them to leave next morning
>lol nope
>k I'll call the police
>okay well we're underage so not gonna go so well for you buddy
>finally relent and let him drop them off "home"
>oops we showed back up
>tie him up
>go through all his families shit
>vandalize house

>family friend comes to pick up something
>smart enough to realize these crazy bitches aren't John Wicks friends and they be lyin' hoes
>about to body them
>fucks up and loses inhaler
>dies
>the girls dig a hole in yard
>shove Wick into it
>reveal they recorded the sex
>upload it to his Facebook
>laugh and say they like to fuck with unfaithful married men
>move on to next one and leave him buried there

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I get that and buy it, but as far as them being able to restrain/overpower him multiple times, ehhh

Honestly, how it would probably go:
>would feel bad and let them in to make a phone call or whatever
>would offer to drive them to where they needed
>would definitely being staring them up and down at every chance
>would be to shy and awkward to sleep with them even if they both made moves
>would later fantasize about having fucked them and use it as fap material for at least a couple weeks

>Crash? CRASH? You're gonna crash this plane? You're gonna crash this fuckin' plane! Why? Because I caught you? You caught ME! You caught ME! You came to MY aircraft, you came to ME! I got you a flightplan, I brought you Dr. Pavel! You took the Masked Man! You wanted it, you wanted it! You came to me! What was I supposed to do? You brought friends! You both fucking brought friends! IT WAS MY PRIZE! FREE FUCKING PRIZE! It just shows up at my fucking aircraft! What am I supposed to do? We're mercenaries, come on, fly us! No one will know! Come on! Fly us! Oh, rising fires, extreme pain, it doesn't matter! BIG GUYS! FOR YOU! You don't give a fuck, you'll just crash anything! You'll just crash ANYTHING! Well you lied to me, I tried to help you. I let you aboard! I was CIA, I was a good agent! And you just fucking caught me! What, now you're gonna crash this plane, with no survivors? Why? WHY? What the fuck fuck fuck, I'M IN CHARGE HERE!

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rape

This but reversed. You always throatfuck blondes plus she has great tits. Brunettes usually get fucked in the ass

A daring synthesis.

Oof those leather pants.

Imagine having sex with any of these 3 people

Not sure if it's funnier reading this pasta in CIA's voice or Keanu's.

>GIVE SEX. GIVE SEX NOW. I WANT IT. I WANT IT SO BAD PLEASE. I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE AND DESPERATELY WANT TO SO THAT I DON'T DIE A VIRGIN. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME. I AM SO FUCKING LONELY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>letting complete strangers into your house
Do amerisharts really do this?

Imagine a pair of hot girls were at your door, and let's also assume you're a normalfaggot that thinks with their dick.

I don't let even the women I've fucked or tried to fuck into my house. I never invite even my closest friends over.

just kys already holy shit

why are amerisharts so fucking trusting?

Yeah it's called being nice :)

Because the quality of life is so high (compared to the rest of the world at least) that we aren't inherently terrified of hot, barely legal girls outside.

why do turd worlders not let their "closest friends" over?

depends on if you live in a multicultural shit hole honestly

Thanks user, been forever since I've seen this movie

Everything that was videoed and the circumstances of how he was found could have been explained away easily, he was basically kidnapped and raped while his house was trashed. How the fuck would he lose his family over this when he was clearly a victim of psychopaths?

based

Let them torture me.

its not that hard. if its 2 v 1, its plausible that two girls or smaller guys could restrain one avg size guy

imagine licking her asshole

Cast an actress as a top and another as a bottom.

Tell them that they are breaking the NAP by trespassing on my property.

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Even if he never got arrested for child pornography, his relationship with his wife and kids is tainted forever.

call the police or a taxi

Murder them, fuck the bodies, then dissolve the bodies. No one will be looking for them.

Movie makes a point of that too. Keanu even says something like "I think I can handle myself" in a jokey way, then Ana says she does Tae Bo or Jazzercise, as a joke. Like yeah, Keany can physically overpower them in a fair fight, but the fight was never fair.

make them eat all the eggs

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based

Teen pussy is nice

answer me

perfect fren

Tainted how? All he has to say is he let 2 girls in on a stormy night to wait for a cab and they knocked him out, raped him and vandalized his house. How could he be blamed for any of it?

This

Think like a woman. She'll always know that Keanu fucked two good-looking women half her age, in their marital bed. Consensual or not, she'll never be able to let it go.

Order some pizza.

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>rising fires, extreme pain, it doesn't matter

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That's horse shit, the circumstances of how he was found and the tape of him tied up clearly begging ADA to untie him and let him go showed that he was under duress. He didn't want it and them posting the video, wrecking the joint and burying him in the yard completely exonerates him.

>THINK LIKE A WOMAN

Ok, I'll think like a woman, if the wife doesn't listen and believe his story than she is victim blaming and is therefore on the wrong side of history and a nazi.

The only thing that maybe screws up his relationship with his wife is if she thinks he had sex with them willingly, but he could easily claim they drugged him. And that wouldn't be a stretch to believe considering all the fucked up shit they did to him and the house which is in plain view.

fuck 1
fuck 2
marry 2
kill 1
fuck 1
kill 2
an hero

Fuc. Deal with the consequences later.

Let them in call the emergency services and hand them towels let them sit till their car is back in shape
This is from human centipede right?

Technically I would say they were written by Michael Haneke since Knock Knock is a blatant gender swapped ripoff of Funny Games.

why is she so perfect bro’s?
god sakes it i’m so fucking lonely

i would kill everyone who posted here for an ana gf

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What is your favourite Eli Roth kino, lads?

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ORAL CUMSHOT

beyond based

>yo
>uhh, i'll call you an uber or something, where to?
>no i'm not married, that's the guy next door
>you too
>close door, stare at wall and dissociate for an hour as i have a weird rape fantasy

>

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AM I BEING DETAINED?! NOT WITHOUT A WARRANT ASSHOLE

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spbp

>doorbell rings
>intense anxiety
>don't move at all for 5 minutes
>calm down over the next few minutes

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would u guys fuck this cum crazed cutie?

As an incel, yes.

so this is the power of Yea Forums, huh?
impressive

Trespassers will be prostituted

No way fag

based blind user

>Wife is #2
She literally insisted on a Lynch marathon the other weekend. Feelsgoodman.

I would unironically have my glock 19 in hand as I tell them to fuck off quicklike.

fpbp

Hostel and Hostel II. Sucks that Hostel III was made by some retard.

No because she's not my wife.

you just dont answer and pretend you're asleep

> midwestern fag that drives everywhere

Can't even fathom that maybe you got a lift somewhere, eh?

?? Only the third point of yours applies. I'm pretty sure there wasn't a "bad" ending here, because the viddeo that was shared it was quite clearly obvious that he was raped by psychos. You can hear him screaming for help.

This is the most based fucking thing I have ever read.

I can't relate because each of my windows are covered by black paint, foil, cardboard, duct tape, weatherizing plastic, towels, a blanket, and a poster so that I never have to be bothered by sunlight or fresh air sneaking in through the cracks.

>Not answer the door as i continue to shitpost in my bedroom
I did this once. The people who knocked at the door turned out to be burglars, and they took my lack of response to mean no one's home and so they were free to break in.

What a day that was.

Tell me more

Just tell them you're not home

Did you kill them?

Fuck off roasties
>proceed to close home door.

One of the rawest performances I've ever seen tbqh

I will.

Based retard.

I would not have open my door, to begin with. I don't like being disturbed.

this should've been the canon ending
youtube.com/watch?v=p3Um7u5Ijkw

Did u dump the clip user?

have sex

I saw them come round the back of the house, for a moment thought they were maybe delivering something, since deliverymen will sometimes do that, but it was quickly clear they were breaking in.

I kinda panicked and was basically unable to do anything, had I just shouted out OI, FUCK OFF at the top of my lungs they would've surely ran, no point breaking into a house with people in it... but I didn't think to do that, I was searching around for my phone as they were checking each room, came to my room, paused for a moment at the shock of seeing me there, then grabbed me.

The one who grabbed me had a screwdriver and threatened to shove it into my neck if I didn't cooperate, but honestly I doubt he would have. He pulled me out onto the landing, threw me through another door, punched me on the head a couple of times, asked me where the jewellery and money is, I had nothing to really tell him, so he held me down as the others looked around. He tried and failed to get my watch off my own wrist, and pretty quickly they decided to run. One of them got a phone call in another room, I'm not sure if it was someone outside saying "you're taking too long" or something like that.

They got away with a small amount of jewellery. It wasn't a huge loss except for my mum's engagement ring. When I was questioned about it I was surprised to find I could barely remember any specific details. I wasn't sure precisely that it had been a screwdriver he threatened me with, I couldn't recall the colour of their clothes, I wasn't even certain how many of them there were, and at the police station I was shown a whole bunch of mugshots and was barely able to say if they even looked similar.

In England, so no. Even if we had a gun in the house, it would've needed to be right next to me for me to be able to make use of it. It all happened so quickly.

A cute girl once knocked on my door (my fathers house) when I was like 15 and told me that I "looked interesting".

Her name was Olivia and she asked if she could come in, I looked sceptically at her and then she asked if I could come out instead and I told her I had stuff to do and closed the door.

Maybe I'm just aspie as hell and maybe she really just wanted to get to know me but theres no way I'm risking it. Seen too many movies with psycho murderer women.

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You're a special one aren't you?

This never would have happened if you'd had your family's sword for protection but that's fucked up and I'm sorry it happened to you

Man you suck

What happens after?

Don't be sorry, I should have just bothered to answer the door.

Although it was fucked up. He was wearing gloves and so when he punched me it didn't hurt terribly... but then hours later I suddenly got an insane splitting headache that lasted the rest of the day.

Also, this is funny, my room is a total mess, and so when they came in and searched around, they made a mess of all the other rooms. When the police came and I showeed him around and explained the events, he was like "wow they did a real number on this room" and I had to say "uh, not really haha it was already like that hahaha". He actually seemed suspicious of me, like I'd maybe faked the entire thing to steal my mum's jewellery.

That's pretty sad G, you need to nut up next time. Then again idk the repurcuddions in Bongistan

based

Have sex

>amerifats never walk anywhere
lol

That's what I said. Fuck the one on the right in the ass, blow a load in lefts throat.

Fuck the one on the left and have the one on the right clean my house

>uh, not really haha it was already like that hahaha
Oh man, this gave me a good kek. Sorry for your misfortune user, but that's really funny.

yep, based

I get boiner

>has zero understanding of the scale of America
The only thing that's walking distance from me is a grocery store, and that is unusual for about 60% of the population of this country that live in suburban and rural areas.
>Lol you don't use public transit
Yep, and you are about five more years of refugees welcome from understanding why

based and titpilled

>amerifat walking distance
lol

Cum in two seconds

>denies being insufferable
>actually uses the word "doggo"

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this would never happen to me because every time someone knocks I pretend I'm not home even though I always am.

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>tfw no sociopath gf

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Based and epic

Not even answer the door. I have such limited experience with women that I am always suspicious of their actions now.

They're both hideous

I'd give her all the cum I can possibly produce

>I have such limited experience with women that I am always suspicious of their actions now.
that's kinda backwards
be suspicious once you have enough experience with them to justify the suspicion

Its served me well so far. I haven't been falsely accused of rape nor have I had to deal with an angry lad because his missus decided to be a cheating bint.

This is a boy

>that building with the boat on top
absolutely retarded and ugly design

you should see what's on top of the boat though

just let them live with me. psycho harem for life.

This is one of the best scenes in history of film

THIS

Attached: knockknock.jpg (2100x1182, 1.77M)

Code?

FUCKING SLUT

You think they would believe the fucking white male ?

based

look at the bone structure, its not a boy

>being literally immobile without your car
sad!

(you) deserve it.

The movie is set in Chile, not in America.

>Chile
>not in America

fuck Armas in the butt and tell the one on the right to take a hike

Do you now understand why having a weapon on your person is important or are you still a bootlicking peasant?

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>implying I'd be the one answering the door
I doubt my mother would let them in.

Steal that thick ass gold chain and sell it for fentanyl.

>FREE CHEESE PIZZA

dogwhistle much roth?

It's not, you are speaking english, not spanish, continents are defined by social conventions, not geography (like landmasses or tectonic plates). Don't be a retarded butthurt spic. And yes, en español, chile si esta en el continente americano, pero si estamos hablando en ingles we should talk about the americans, north and south america are different continents.

*the Americas

I gotta be autistic here, but I've always wanted to know. Couldn't a man only loosely restrained like that still fuck a woman up in that situation? Even a mico movement with limited range of motion from one of his legs could knock her around, and when she is standing on top of him it should be easy to violently shake her off.

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You will never have a cutie Ana gf. Why even live?

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I would have sex

Depends on how much movement you have.

The most important thing to keep someone restarined that way is having a strong header firmly tied to a strong wall. Even a weak girl can pull a header from a drywall.