Character walks into a bar

>character walks into a bar
>"ouch"

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Haha what? OOGA BOOGA

>character hits joint
>immediately starts tripping
>Go Ask Alice starts playing

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i never go into the bar, can you advice me what kind of beverages i should order if i had a chance goes int a bar ?

I hallucinate on weed, only takes a few puffs

>character does a line
>immediately hits him

If you order "rum and coke" or "whiskey sour" you're gonna get well booze. Well booze is bottom shelf and gives you hangovers if you're over 25. Specify mid to high level stuff. Like a Titos and soda or woodford reserve and coke

>walk in
>look at taps along the bar
>pick the one you've heard of / one with the most easily pronounceable name
>Hey can I have a [that one] please
Done

What do you drink if anything

>character walks into a beer
>I'll have a bar

double JD and coke

Ask for a water, neat

thats how it works

ok thanks fo the advice anons
im sorry i don't get it

All cats look retarded

>"is pepsi ok"?
What then huh

>character sat on a stool up against the bar
>promiscuous woman sat next to him starts flirting
>cut to them having sex

>character tries to force a meme
>Is a cuck poodle-owner

Ginger ale

A double is just double the normal strength. So if you order a cocktail making it a double means they put in twice as much alchohol than the normal recipe calls for.

double is also for double shot. It depends on the context of the drink you ordered.

"Give me a double shot of Jameson" vs "Give me a vodka mule, make it a double"

sounds like you've been snorting it mixed with speed, have a word with your dealer boy

Vernors if you're based and live in MI

scratch that i'll have a SC and lemonade

why i would order jack danniels that thing is literally everywhere in any convenience store

>Jesus walks into a bar
>I'll have a glass of water
>*winks at the camera*

because its guaranteed they will have it

"err we have jim beam and pepsi is that ok"

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Some good whisk(e)y like Blanton's or Ardbeg Uigeadail

Some people like different kinds of drinks than other people

they will see me like a weirdo user

Is sprite ok?

>"Which one? Kozel 10 or 11? Pilsner? Gambrinus 10 or 12? Lager or Weis?"

>scientist:The semtex has a specific strain of celembrium that can-...
>detective: In english, doc?
>scientist: ...You have 24 hours.

yes

>sorry, we only have Moxie

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>Blanton's
>Good
Found the retard with a small penis

>Whisky, please
>UGHHHHH WHICH ONE FAGGOT WE HAVE LIKE 15 BRANDS HERE

That's actually a telltale sign of latent schizophrenia.

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>"this ones my favorite"
>it's $50 a glass

Hey, I'm not a retard

>character is drug dealer
>tells parents he's like an importer/exporter for a distributor

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>character is supposed to be a loser
>apartment is larger, more spacious, cleaner, and more tastefully furnished than some $100k+ earning professionals I know

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Underrated

ok now i get it

Unironically based

tru

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>spends all his time arranging furniture. Yep hes a loser.

This is a major reason why normal people are so unfulfilled

probably, I thought a ufo was hovering over the house once and has a panic attack

this was 2 weeks after I smoked, felt stupid when i came to my senses

Wtf is going on here?

No bar has ever had Pepsi instead of Coke in the history of ever.

>Walk into bar with giraffe
>Tell giraffe to wait by door and I'll get the drinks in
>Barman is suspicious of my intentions
>Order a club soda for myself and a treble for the giraffe
>Keep feeding him the trebles until his legs give out and he's just a heap on the floor
>Finally see my chance to exit and dump this fucking drag
>About to slip out and the barman's suspicions were heightened
>"Hey, where you going? You can't leave that lying there!"
>Look at him
>Have to think fast because I'm already half way out the door, but I stupidly stopped to see what he had to say
>"What? That's not a lion, it's a giraffe"
>Looks at me
>Dab on him
>Get the fuck out of the there

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>Character walks into a restaurant
>"Bring me your cheapest champagne"

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>I'll have a Fat Tire
>Sir, this is a bar. We serve alcohol, not tires.

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>character walks into a bar
>I'll have a beer"
>They take one sip from it
>Then leave without finishing

>character orders something
>bartender makes fun of him for his choice
If this happened to me in real life i'd shit myself

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>character orders something
>those cool regulars at the table laugh at his choice

People do this all the goddamn time.
t. barman

I was piss drunk at some dive in a shit neighborhood, my local spot. Like it cause it's quiet, blue collar folk mostly, nothing fancy, cheap drinks, etc.
Some lady walks in, obviously not from the area, dressed up. She proceeds to order "organic vodka."
She got laughed out of the bar in a matter of ten minutes. Bartender initiated the torment, then the patrons jumped in to assist.

what the fuck is organic vodka

>character is supposed to be a loser
>he can afford an apartment instead of living with his much more successful sibling

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Exactly.
Apparently it exists, though. Looked it up when I got home. Pretty sure my dive only serves Sobieski and maybe stoli/titos on a good day.

>school bully is a chubby white kid with a bowlcut

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>We don't take kindly to people who order Moscow Mules around here

>character walks into a bar
>orders a Heineken

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>character walks into some shithole in Maine

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