Get new haircut

>eating a girl out
>up the tempo
>she grabs your hair real hard and moans
The increased risk of throat cancer is so worth it

>get new haircut
>barber is a hot chad
>get slightly erect as he massages hair and shoves head around

im not even gay wtf

Attached: 1557895999430.jpg (750x747, 149K)

lad...

I have news for you

>be little old me
>beg my parents to buy me a Barbie
>have all my Action Men run a train on her
>years pass
>I’m in my “action figures are collectibles” phase
>make scenarios where some of my hot, muscly superheroes get raped by other hot, muscly superheroes
>get hard
>more years pass
>can’t get it up at things I used to anymore
>only big titty short-haired women and blondes do it for me anymore; redheads leave me flaccid no matter how much I try
>constantly search for nudes of famous actors to compare my dick with them
B-Bros, what is wrong with m-me?

Attached: 35CAFEDE-291C-43FA-8958-AE0EE2DC7970.gif (500x324, 2.44M)

just fuck a guy in the ass already
remember it's only gay if your balls touch

how could you resist the stealth fap in that situation? I only ever cut my own hair so never been in that situation before

Its insane if you are desperate for the female touch.

I seriously am not tho

>tfw big titty black woman rests my head on her voluptuous bosom as she combs and snips my hair
I only make appointments with her. The first time she gave me a cut I told her I was sad she was married, and she laughed and gave me her card with her schedule and her personal phone number.

Attached: Hank Hill Smoking.jpg (900x900, 397K)

Yer a faggot 'arry.

so guys call barbers hairdressers now ?

Attached: mr-roper-2.jpg (309x200, 9K)

Maybe its cos ur hair was disgusting and needed washed.

Was she autistic?

Just suck a dick and get it out of your system.
No homo unless you swallow.

You can feel her tits on your face as she washes your hair, leaning back, to prep for the cut.

>im not even gay wtf

every day is an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves

why isn't she moaning and cumming?

>girl is washing my hair
>stare up at the ceiling awkwardly because I dont want her to think im enjoying it in some weird way when I actually am
>”its okay if you want to close your eyes”
>close my eyes and feel immediately relaxed
>”hey we offer this new scalp massage thing, its extra but ill just do it for you anyway”
>get a chub as she vigorously massages me

Felt pretty good. One time the hairdresser asked me what I was doing later on that week and gave me her phone number on a piece of paper, but I was extremely autistic at that point and threw it away.

his cock is only 6", that's why she tries to hold back her laughter.

she is disappointed in the sexual act and wondering what all the fuss is about.

who writes cringe shit like this

virgins

>hairdresser
i'm not a homosexual so wouldn't know what you guys feel when being touched by a woman.

I shave my head with a cutthroat.

Imagine going to a 'hairdresser', and a female one at that. Fucking pathetic. We need another war.

>needed washed

Attached: cigfrog.jpg (500x322, 21K)

>getting your haircut by a woman
Enjoy your shitty sports clips haircut. Go to a male barber if you want a good cut.

>even bothering to cut your hair
Imagine being so ooga ooga. Fucking glug glug. We need another zunga zunga.

hahaha

this
wtf man

It feels amazing, but it's not worth it to have a stylist cut my hair. The best cuts I've gotten have all been from morose old men in barbershops

>t: virgins who fell for /pol/ memes

>being this ass blasted

Attached: 1542819459965.jpg (750x425, 43K)

>Get a haircut
>"Have you shampooed recently?"
>Yeah
>"Hmm... we'll shampoo again"

Attached: JUST.jpg (217x320, 19K)

lol its okay when you mock others but not when you're being mocked?
you'll never make it, baby

>enjoying having men touching your head
closeted gay

ugly ppl have sex too retard

based chad larper

Its not a larp though. I really am autistic

>being so desperate that you equate any form of physical contact as a sign of a person's sexuality
Unironically have sex

>only use sulfate-free shampoos because my hair gets shitty and fluffy if i use normal shampoo
>don't want to be that autist who brings their own shampoo into the barber's
>spend the enture head massage/shampoo portion thinking about how i'm going to regret it later
>rinse and repeat

hmmm you must be pretty handsome

post your face and maybe your dick too?

Heh

c'mon now.

Attached: 1653791472440.png (805x743, 82K)

This. The only service where woman should be chosen over men is prostitution.

>Be black
>Go to black barbershop
You know you whitebois are invited, right? It's a great time and the barbers all know what they're doing.

Attached: b31949e5e73174bf247dfd22a315a564.jpg (500x743, 97K)

Based three's company poster

I've been, but unironically only when my black brother in law takes me along

>cutting your hair at a Hair Saloon and not a Barber Shop Lmao

White people take this L

Went to the hairdresser once and the shampoo girl that worked there was a girl from my high school who I kind of had a crush on. I had the most embarrassed boner I ever had while she touched my head. pretty awkward all around

>be white
>black friend offers to take me to his usual barbershop
>take him up on the offer, best haircut and best overall experience i've had since a punk milf had me use her cleavage as a pillow when i was 16
>yall come back now y'hear
Black barbershops are based

I honestly doubt that somebody who usually gots hair for black dudes, knows how to deal well with non black hair

>French humour

that's pretty cute. did she notice?

>implying I live near blacks

Attached: 1483959994187.png (1280x738, 894K)

>he doesn't know about the matchbox full of crabs

lel

if they aren't mentally into it then they give zero fucks

>go to usual local place
>new hairdresser is qt from high school
And I never went there again!

Attached: IMG_20190506_102626.jpg (1023x608, 65K)

This

Attached: 1524795868160Hands.webm (1280x720, 1.76M)

If it was anything like Coming to America I actually would

I did and I ended up getting a bit of a bro fade. I found it funny but I'm way too much of a pasty dork to look good with one.

w-what

Attached: 1530620310259.png (645x773, 24K)

I'm socially awkward so I cut my own hair and do a terrible job too

Censor that shit.

was being a whore part of her plan?

I don't think so otherwise ti would've been more awkward than it was. I'm she never mentioned what happened to anyone

>not having your mum cut your hair for free
bunch of unloved people ITT

Attached: IMG_3300.png (10000x10000, 2.6M)

>not shaving your head twice a year

Actually, it's the opposite because they cut all kinds of hair. Straight hair is the norm with Hispanics and Asians, and plenty of white dudes come in too. In my experience, salon hairdressers can't do an edge-up for shit.

I wish I could experience something like this

most barbers keep a matchbox full of pubic lice to infect problem customers/ people they think are freaks or weirdos.
It's common for black barbers to do this to whites that come into their establishments.

finally, a chance to post this pic

Attached: 1535747829352.jpg (369x375, 68K)

your mum sucks my dick for free

You pennsylvania motherfucker

Drop crying catto a (You) if mommy cut your ear as child too in a traumatic hair cutting accident.

Attached: sYDqBU1.jpg (747x731, 60K)

did she ever use your bald spot as a ashtray?

>get new haircut
>somehow end up looking even worse than before
being hideous is suffering bros

Attached: 1554821800287.png (500x545, 124K)

Salon bitches can't do anything for shit outside of white girl hairstyles and dyes. I bet they fuck up a lot of dyes too

only faggots can cut my hair
a woman will give you a haircut thinking "i like men, and i think a man with this haircut looks good", but they lack something else
a faggot would not only think "i like men, and i think a man with this haircut looks good", they will also think "i'm a man and this is a haircut i'd like to have"

still, i might not go the same place anymore
i think he tried to rape me the last time

just buy one of those full-head anime helmets and wear it constantly

>not befriending the barbershop rapist
Never gonna make it

>not learning the art of cutting your own hair
Just fuck up the difficult parts around the ears and on the back tho.

Attached: 59d9270ba992f.jpg (1920x796, 302K)

>tfw been seeing the same vietnamese lady for your entire life and she now memorizes the shape of your head and does the same hairstyle each time

>not letting the barbershop twink suck your dick as part of the full-service cut
ok homo

out of the box thinking bait desu. props

youtu.be/9sXlOvRZeoc

>gay barber
that's brilliant

>ask to get a shampoo and rinse after
>it feels nice when my barber massages the shampoo into my scalp

who here know this feel

Attached: 1418084889906.png (414x499, 454K)

SAUCE RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Attached: vlcsnap-2019-04-14-18h13m56s899.png (704x400, 268K)

Attached: 1549951889140.webm (360x360, 656K)

Gee user, why does Chad get TWO bitches?

barbers don't shampoo unless you're in a fruity part of town.

oh c'mon you could show off

Obscure Dutch movie called Verdwijnen (2017).

Attached: 59d9270998026.jpg (1920x796, 343K)

Attached: 1500104619356.gif (540x304, 507K)

>Dude, all women have HPV lmao
>Dude, fucking guys in the ass is hetero but licking pussy is gay lmao

Attached: sopranos guy.png (350x340, 250K)

of course its dutch

this is a good thread
the threads unrelated to tv/films are about common topics
i remember a testicular torsion thread being the comfiest thing ever

even their follicles are autistic

Yea Forums should allow nudity as long as it's from a movie or show
>best films are usually R rated
>can't even post pics of it

you mean french. and she has a shit body

>>get new haircut
>>hairdresser is a cute girl
>>you can feel her fingers on your head
>Initially experssed interest in me (i'm handsome)
>Asked if I was single
>Told her about my sad life...my overbearing mother, my inceldom

>Paid her, she refused to look me in the eye.

enjoy your matchbox.

>not lying your ass off to get a week or two of fake happiness before it all comes tumbling down
rookie mistake

MATCHBOXED

But this is Yea Forums thread. OP asked for movies and posted picture from a movie too. It's more Yea Forums than Twitter screen baits.

yet no one gave OP a real answer

because shes a based asexual instead of a horny libidocuck. she has more interest in intelectual pursuits than just following primal instincts.

ssshhhh

>he doesn't get a haircut every two weeks

Attached: 1547453527758.jpg (615x923, 71K)

CHI?

Attached: latest[1].jpg (716x768, 79K)

>back in early hs
>parents always take my to same hairstylist
>gay guy with a perm
>when it's time to go get a haircut they say the same thing every time
>”hey user its time to go see Steve the Fag again”

Still makes me laugh

>spending all that money to end up looking like shit anyway

Attached: 1550417169047.jpg (433x427, 86K)

Not bait

>I’m in my “action figures are collectibles” phase
>didn't exclusively play military simulators
lmao

>handsome
>be autistic and cant get gf

i give up...

Attached: 1556279993417.jpg (480x522, 19K)

I EET DE EHGG WITH A SPOOON

youtube.com/watch?v=Nmtk3ytwCSI
great times

>be at new salon
>get haircut
>ask if she can cut it a little more
>still not pleased
>ask again if she can cut it a little more
>it's ok now
>she says "there! you won't need to pay for another haircut until next year"
tfw got outed as a poorfag

Bump for interest