Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

she is so hot

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this, i loved that movie, and i hate that eyebrow bitch

Opening sequence of the station being developed was kino

I don't remember anything about the movie besides the MC acting like an edgy douche the whole time and the little lizards explosively shitting out shiny gumballs.

take that back

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It was a great movie. Hope we get a sequel.

Gave me some nice Fifth Element/Incal vibes.

this

youtube.com/watch?v=q6oTziHKM_c

Dan Dehaan should've been cast for Star Wars instead of a female lead

kino

It was bad. Worst casting choice in the recent history. Guy is some pussy wimpy faggy manlet instead of charismatic chad space adventurer and a girl is dead-eyed roastie sticc instead of sexy and cute redhead. They had zero chemistry and were voids of charisma.
CGI was good tho

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>comic characters are literal mutts
kek

Best blockbuster in recent years. Not normie compatible, though.

I literally feel asleep in the theatre.

>having suntan makes you mutt
lmao

Cara is a cute.
Will she ever be in another movie?

Yes, Cara is a worse Brie Larson

I thought she was pretty good in paper towns

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I didn't see it yet because it didn't seem like the 'fun sci-fi' kino that Fifth Element was.

I was so disappointed with Jupiter Ascending and Last Jedi that I just dont want to be disappointed by sci-fi again.

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Pros:
Great opening sequence
Creative visuals
Clive Owen

Cons:
Awful lead actors
Generic "noble savages are actually super intelligent" storyline
Rihanna's melodramatic overacting
No, really, like seriously awful lead actors.

Yeah the cast is strange, he is some sort of legend while she is newcoming but smart and they looks the same ages and almost Brothers
But i liked it

They look like underage kids but act like they're full blown adults. It's fucking weird man.

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I really liked this movie other than the muh noble savage muh evil white males ending

but that's par for the course these days anyway so im used to it

it was fun, cara was cute

This. We're supposed to believe that this guy is some kind of galactic super soldier/agent hero and best of the best when it comes to being a badass. But he looks like emo teenager that's gonna burst out crying any moment and has zero action-star vibe about him. I get that Cara is a daughter of some billionaire European banker who probably financed that movie so that's why they had to cast her, but WHY THAT GUY?

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It's a sci-fi fantasy. No realism is needed. The casting is actually great unlike those soulles Marvel and DC flicks.

>The casting is actually great
you must be joking. Valerian had some of the worst casting of the past decade in all of cinema. the incredibly poor miscasting of Emobabyface DeHaan and Heiress Delavingne was one of the biggest reasons, if not THE main reason, that the movie flopped.

I liked it thought they gives some incest vibes

gotta disagree with you I hated that film, not because I wanted to.

Went into it clean slate, watched it on a plane, didnt knew any lead actors, no hard feelings coming into it.

Did NOT like it, wish they didnt waste so much good CGI on a turd scriptbook like this.

Cara is more of a twink than Valerian

Imagine having Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson as the main cast, it would make this movie infinitely better.

it's an enjoyable bad movie

Here's your rugged, adventurous, strong, aloof, and all-around badass soldier, bro

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cara's whole purpose was to be eye candy and rock that bikini at the beginning

but the beta, web-toed, spare chromosome collector who played Valerian -- holy shit what a mistake

had a lot of 5th element influences in it
really good CGI and interesting world though
a sequel would have been nice

The plot and acting were utter shit.
The visuals alone made it worth one watch though.

Absolutely seething gym bro faggot detected. All the roids in the world will never make up for your lack of charm and shitty face

who do you think has a bigger dick? him or cara??

I really don't get why people lile Cara.

That movie was great. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Have sex manlet

>lack of charm and shitty face
are we talking about DeHaan still?

Accessible homosexuality

It was pretty bad lad

If only Bruce Willis was younger he would make perfect Valerian.

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>Rhianna
Fuck you for reminding me of that.

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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Sneeds

not a lot of people actually do, and at best tolerate her presence, as evidenced by her extremely mediocre box office showings.

Actually 5th Element is loosely based on one of the Valerian comics. A lot of other sci-fi movies drew influence from those comics.

They were talking about the person they replied to obviously.
Real talk. Why is that hard for you to determine?

it definitely is "fun sci-fi"
just don't obsess about cast/acting like all the faggots here, and you'll be fine

Post the WEBM.

I've watched this flick three times now and it gets better after every viewing.

...

I’m not sure which I hated more, this movie or Jupiter Ascending.

The most glaring flaw is the male lead, Cara isn't that great for the role, but she's cute so it's fine, at the end of the day the male lead would be the one to carry the movie and that guy just doesn't fit that role.

Why are you so defensive of DeHaan's terrible miscast in this movie? Are you DeHaan?

Trailer had kino music.
youtube.com/watch?v=NNrK7xVG3PM

I could see it becoming a cult classic, but it honestly was that bad. I've never wanted to like a movie this much, yet been unable to

Jupiter Ascending was a fun little flick. Fight me.

>I enjoyed Cara

She is hated on purely because she's very attractive. She does well with what little material she is given.

This. Fifth Element worked because Bruce Willis was a charismatic badass who caried the film despite Jovovich's weak acting (which was tolerable because she's cute). Why Luc Besson ever agreed to have this wet noodle Dane DeHaan star in this film is beyond me. He would have been more believable in a Ruby Rhod sort of role than as a leading action hero.

Cara was good but the kid didnt fit at all the role of one of basically a super soldier, it needed someone who was in absolute peak physical condition, and i dont even mean super muscular, but cut and well build
The casting killed this movie, sometimes its as simple as a bad lead

she's hated on because she's an "ok" looking at best socialite who's obscenely rich father is paying money to push her in the media and buy her fame

I think he's also a major in the space force, when he's in his late 20s

>wet noodle Dane DeHaan star in this film is beyond me

He even sucked in Chronicle. That should have set off warning bells from the start for casting

Do you need me to be this super mad dude seething about actors? Because im calm

worst part is that a year of gym even natty and a short buzzcut and he would look like a professional soldier
Just 0 effort for the role

Check out Nancy A. Thank me later

Laureline in the comics was just a pretty French girl from the 11th century who Valerian brought back tot he future and was then trained to be his partner, not a super soldier. The only real inconsistency in the movies is getting rid of her tan and red hair. Valerian was the severe miscast.

it's actually important to the plot that he looks like a boy as well as acting like one. The story is a journey from lust to love to commitment, typical coming of age fare.

A muscle bound hunk might make tactical sense but it makes the story sillier.

>replying just to claim that you're totally super calm for real and definitely not mad
ok dude

so much money spent on great cgi and visuals

>majority of 4channelers think its a good movie

More than enough to tell me it sucks shit. Thanks for the heads up anons.

>The story is a journey from lust to love to commitment
That would fit a older male as well though.

>here's your male lead, bro

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They should have put in Michael Cera

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No clue about the comic, but movie wise it makes no sense
Hes presented as an extremely well trained and skilled beyond measure, hes clearly not presented as someone normal
I literally just said i didnt mean super muscular, just looking like someone in his prime, like professional soldier who starts every day with a workout or gymnast, Even that young jackie chan,bruce lee low mass but defined and low body fat body will make a man look different
He just looks weak, which he is, no way hes doing any of the stunts himself

based incest poster

God fucking damn it, how is this possible for such an ugly guy to become actor? Did he suck some dicks or what?

Agreed. Even the space pearl farmer sequence was visually and thematically great. And then the two leads showed up and ruined it. It would have been a great short.

Im not going to judge you for your generic Yea Forums replies, but if it makes you feel social replying to me. Go for it , bro

cute and boyish

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>Dan Dehaan
But why? He's just as bland as Daisy.

I enjoyed it and I don't even have a vagina

It's pretty simple. He started as a child actor, and the features that make him look goofy now are the ones that had him getting cast as a highschooler. Does he even get work anymore?

one of her publicists posts here 24/7 or something it's fucking weird

She is fine if she sticks to still photogrpahy or strictly to non-speaking roles.

shave his retarded fucking hair and make him drop his fucking beer belly and he will look good
he looks like different person after someone takes some scissors to his head

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Just watch the first 15 minutes and turn it off when the main story starts. You will be pleasantly surprised.

>It was bad. Worst casting choice in the recent history
I'll never understand this.
He got himself John McClain and the finest specimen of women Ukraine has given to the world for the Fifth Element, but then he goes and casts Cara DeLaPerra and some DYEL that look like he is asking his sister for his Prom.

Hmmm

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It wasn't bad at all. Above average and enjoyable to watch.

Shes literally the only thing I remember from the movie, otherwise it was dog shit

I went to see it at a good kinoplex...

It was visually stunning but the casting of the two leads was poor; little chemistry between them and that's what hindered it.

based besson always casting the cutest girls

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>trying to defend Cara after she cut off Johnny Depp's fingers, accused him of rape and shat on his bed

What kind of projection is this?
This was quite the emotional response to such a shit movie. Might want to re-evaluate some things in life

>>trying to defend Cara after she cut off Johnny Depp's fingers, accused him of rape and shat on his bed

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>Nobody has posted the webm with Cara in bikini yet.

youtube.com/watch?v=cdEQmpVIE4A

I was super excited for this movie and the beginning is fantastic, however as soon as Dehann started speaking- I mean 5 minutes after this- I went to go get some food and never finished watching. He was terrible in this, he's supposed to be some slick ladies man action star fucking space James Bond and Jesus Christ was it cringey to see him even attempt it. Goddamned shame.

It was a good movie held back by terrible casting for the lead roles. Replace the two leads with some shovel jawed meat man, like Chris Pratt, and a thicc woman with some nice T&A like Jenifer Lawrence in something skimpy, and you've got a good movie. The problem is that Luc Besson is a limp-wristed Frenchman and those two twigs are what they consider good casting.

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This is the face that says "my partner has been kidnapped by killer aliens and I urgently needs a shapeshifter to mount a rescue mission, my partner might be dying RIGHT NOW"
youtube.com/watch?v=40HQ8SQZtPc

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I don't see any difference.

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>enjoyed Cara
Everyone else hates her nepotistic face

He was at least consistent with that shit. They weren't exactly all torn up about all their people getting killed in the intro.

cara just can't act

Old and they lack any enthusiasm.

soul vs soulless

that was very odd tonally

I don't think his dick fits into that tight suit.

The only proper choice for Valerian

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That scene is so cringe.

That was his partner and the girl he loved. How is it consistent tonally that he doesn't express any feeling of urgency?

>that pic
Holy fuck. What were the casting requirements? Wanted: male and female of age 20-30, but who look like 15 and who haven't slept in 2 days.

Actually Dane and Cara both act exactly like Bruce Willis did in the Fifth Element.

Also the critique on Valerian is the same as on the Fifth Element when it came out. People are clueless.

Are there any behind the scenes interviews with directors/producers where they talk about casting choices and justify them?

comics valerian is a twink, not a perfect greek demigod

French directors like little boys, so....their casting reflects their personal....tastes.

she has amazing feet

>perfect greek demigod
>balding like a cuck
yikes

I liked it
The plot was boring but what did you expect form dumb cgi space movie?

the plot was terrible and i didnt understand anything until i watched it a few times. still dont understand a lot of it. like why were these two sent in to that bazaar fucking everything up when the that squad outside could have done it and not fuck up?

the guy was just terrible and cringy. the female couldnt act. not only was the chemistry not there, they just werent believable. the two are like 18/19 and super secret highly skilled agents?

THIS, Cara it's pretty average in the looks department even in bongland

*is

INB4 correcting syntax mistakes on the internet
INB4 you can't INB4 your own post

>average

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Its a shame she's a lesbo. She would be a real cock-pleaser.

>she's not average in the looks department look at these professional photoshoots bro

cute boy

This

No fair, Chris Pratt makes any movie good.

would unironically be hotter with a penis

>would unironically be hotter with a penis

Gentlemen, this is Yea Forums in a nutshell

great setting horrible main characters and plot

He's right though

Imagine her giving you that face as you cream in her pussy

She doesn't look manly at all, she just doesn't pluck her eyebrows because its the feature that makes her stand out among other models, and its getting kinda trendy to do so cough...kendall jenner...cough.

otherwise she's 100% female looking. The fashion industry just dresses them like boys because its run by homosexuals, and you know their views on twinks.

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That's why it would be hot

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Her feet are fucking disgusting what the fuck is wrong with you

>She doesn't look manly
I didn't say she does, only that she would look even hotter with a penis

give it 10 years and its a cult classic
5th element is over 20 years old

Cara looks like she's a few evolutionary steps to being able to play a monkey without any makeup in planet of the apes.

Jesus.

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I love the opening scene of this movie. It's a shame that the two lead characters are miscasted.

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yeah he looks like a gigantic faggot

I liked this movie and didn’t mind the casting one bit. Sure there’s more fun, jacked looking actors out there but it’s not like he had to do much. Him looking possibly too young just adds to the weirdness and comic booky feel who gives a shit

Looking back it was a collection of decent scenes that made zero sense when put together into a movie. Total waste of money. At least it killed 2 HACK careers

>Only cucks are balding
Oof

cope

Be honest lads, would he have improved it?

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Only if they let him sing classic songs
youtube.com/watch?v=0zWKtYZFANA

Na, it just wasn't that great. It's a shame, but the script definitely sucked major balls. I agree with the sentiments that the starting sequence was kino and I'd say probably the best part. When I watched Fifth Element, I liked it the first time I saw it. This? Just doesn't compare and I don't see how they could see this script and go 'WOW. This is AMAZING!'

Soulless.

Sammi is so hot

only reason I didn't walk out of the theater was because I think Cara is kind of cute. Move was shit.

Everything through big market is great.
After that it turns to a confusing inconsistent mess.
The leads are also completely miscast.

he doesn't even look human, I know DYELs with better bodies than this, how do you achieve this?

Hate to break it to you user, but Dehaan was 31 (Feb 86) while Hemsworth is 33 (Aug 83) when Valerian was released.
Compare that to Bruce Willis (March 55) who would've been 42 when 5th Element released.
Dehaan was just a bad choice.

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>we're going to have an extended music sequence and several scenes dedicated to the characterization of this shape shifter and how she's absolutely crucial to rescuing the girl
>she dies and he just fights his way through anyways
Trying to put all of it together into a single plot was a mistake, the movie feels like a bunch of random vignettes connected loosely by the premise and characters.

I'd still fuck him.

It would have worked much better as a series

soulless maniquins as leads, that ruined everything else, and it was the closest we will get to an INCAL or METABARONS type movie.

goddamn a METABARONS movie would be tits, but it cant be done halfassed.

im fucking fat, and i look less doughy than that.

It looked amazing in IMAX but holy fuck the story was terrible. Really nothing good to say about this entire thing except 'it was pretty'.

not to be a PlotFag
but this movie's plot could have used more focus. didn't mind the cast...they came off as oblivious American tourists having fun as they trample through foreigners shitty cultures

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Maybe John Carter. That was actually a decent film. This was the most I've ever been disappointed in Besson.

same, loved it, hate her

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Nah, it's pretty good. Cara was fine in it too, it's Dane DeHaan who was tragically miscast.

Tell me your address, I'll be right over.

Valerian is the CHAD to end all CHADs. He is the wellspring of all things ALPHA AS FUCK, BIG SWINGING DICKS, PANTY DROPPERS, AND AND PACKING HEAT.

then you get teh guy who is too scrawny and shriveled to play tiny tim, in a all midget cast of a christmas carol.

I don't know why, but that picture reminds me of Spy Kids more than anything.

Great intro. Too bad the rest of the movie sucked ass.

the chase through the hyper dimensional market place was good
and the fat aliens wanting to eat the girl's brain was good
and rhianna dance was hot
overall....B-

nobody's gonna remember this piece of shit in 10 years except people scrolling through luc besson's imdb and going "oh right he made that crap, I forgot" and then going about their day

KORBEN DALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

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rhe fuck you talkin about. milla killed it in the element. the one time she was actually good.

The Chad Valerian vs. The Virgin Last Jedi

You're both retards, Jovovich is a consistently good actress.

Why does Valerian feel so similar to Last Jedi? Why the fuck does Last Jedi feel so similar to Valerian?

Anyone else not mind the 2 protagonists at all? I kinda liked them. Cara more but the guy was fine too. He wasn't Chris Pratt #5324232, it was nice.

Didn't mind Cara since she wasn't fat like alot of women they put into movies these days but the dude was dog shit my guy. What a horrible voice

this is NOT BASED VALERIAN

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woof

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I'm actually a little sad we won't get more Valerian kino. It had potential.

I want more Cara!

yeah I think the world had a lot of potential
It probably would have worked out better if they made it into a primetime series.

cara was the best

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it was the biggest european independent financial flop ever.

no sequel.

i love luc besson and this film was 8/10. fifth element is 10/10 of course.

great scifi film but we're only going to get more james cameron and jj abrhams shitfests for the forseeable future.

yes, the movie was comfy as fuck.

try sleeping during a transformers film. you cant. because it is an affront to the senses

This bitch is so ugly and she has a man body but something about her makes me diamonds.

5th element kino is a ripoff of a heavy metal comic. it was even animated in the heavy metal movie. with the flying cab driver.

i like the valerian space comic books, but the valerian time travel comics are fucking awful.

i want to see the one where valerian has sex with the space woman to repopulate the planet and he comes back about 6 inches tall hahaha

the full story of city of 1000 planets is also great.

This. There were a lot of "cool" ideas in the movie, but overall it was poorly constructed and the casting was bad.

It honestly bothers me how people hate on the casting for this movie, it was something different

do you really want every fucking movie to be Chris Prattsworth?

>This bitch is so ugly and she has a man body but something about her makes me diamonds.
Yeah this.

She has no tits or ass, but for some reason I still think she's super fuckable.

>tfw will never travel space with cara gf

The Fifth Element is so far beyond this Valerian trash it's not funny. Casting aside, every scene in TFE either sets something up or pays something off. All the information is given at just the right time for the right effect. Every scene is like a masterpiece by itself. The script is brilliant and is endlessly quotable.

Valerian is just things happening in sequence

henry caville is such an awful actor though

>Every scene is like a masterpiece by itself. The script is brilliant and is endlessly quotable.
lmao

Is it bad if I honestly don't get people who say Cara is hot? Seriously I'd consider myself to be someone who has pretty low standards and gets attracted to unconventionally attractive or plain looking people/women. There's just something off about her face to me, and I'm not even the type of person who nitpicks every little flaw in a chick's face. I wouldn't say she's hideous or anything, but I don't get why there's so many people talking like she's some kind of gorgeous goddess
butterface

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kek

it is kind of unfair to compare fifth element with valerian. they arent on the same level at all. :(

still enjoyable though. Yea Forums is full of liars, i bet only 10 people or less in this thread have read the comics.

why they didnt dye cara's head red though. and show some tits? the movie needed some good tits and some work on the script.

i like dehaan as an actor, even if he was miscast in this movie. i'm not at all sure who could be cast in this though.

young bruce willis wouldnt work. maybe young travolta minus his accent. or young val kilmer?

i think young nathan fillian or young bruce campbell would be perfect. similar to young harrison ford back when he gave a shit.

cocksure attitude plus rugged looks, hair and chin. the trick is getting.the proper dynamic between the two leads. which is impossible these days. when is the last time two leads had chemistry in a film? jack nicholson can pull it off but there arent many actors that good and he doesnt have the look.

are there even any good redheads out there to cast in this? whats the perfect casting for this movie?

i like it
i love Cara
plus
Herbie Hancock has a cameo in it

cut out the 30 minutes of Rihanna's sheboon ass and you got a decent flick

Terrible film

I jerked off to Cara in this.

The male actor was really not cast well at all. At first it seemed like he was supposed to be 18 but then it didn't seem like that all...

>whats the perfect casting for this movie?
dwayne johnson and karen gillan

Her scenes were some of the better ones, you retard. I would have preferred seeing more of her character than the leads.

>Looking back, was it really that bad

Jupiter Ascending was better.

LOVED it
and yes, i wanna fugg cara

you didn't get it at all
valerian is supposed to be young, overconfident, and unexperienced
the antagonist is old, wise, experienced and pretty much his antithesis

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i hate that bitch, but i loved the movie, the bitch acted well, not like in Suicide Squad.

>it was the biggest european independent financial flop ever.

a shame, for me it was like the Fifth Element of this decade, even the normie public felt it has to do with that same universe.

HERBIE FUCKING HANCOCK
The man that possess the ultimate truth about music and everything
HAIL HANCOCK

Not even the thought of nutting on Cara's bushy eyebrows could save this one

Also very disappointed that they didn't time-travel to solve the plot while they are supposed to be TIME TRAVELLERS AGENTS

I wish they would give Carter another chance. maybe just a total redo. without the first being so successful there isn't "muh Canon" so it can be scraped

as for Valerian it was fun to watch once. I don't always need the best of everything to enjoy sci fi shootem ups. I won't watch it again but don't feel like I wasted my time.

cara paired with that autist was horrible synergy, it would excuse them to make her get paired with an alpha black guy for a reboot or sequal. The jewish tactic was easily noticeable, but she just needed a better actor to pair with and the xman weirdo

It's for the best. The casting was pretty bad, and the over all design strayed too far from the raw fantasy look of Frank Frazetta's classic artwork. Worse, Lasseter turned Deja Thoris into a typical Disney princess. I knew from the moment they introduced her obsessing over gee-whiz science stuff when her lovable, but dopey, father came in to chastise her for not being lady-like that the film was on a bad trajectory. They scrapped most of the interesting narrative bits and tried to condense the entire series into a trilogy rather than just trying to tell a good, self-contained story. The only way to do it right is to make a modern day Conan the Barbarian. Cast a beefy modern day Arnold, grease him up, and have him pummel some equally beefy alien monsters on a quest to save thicc alien women.

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looks like some one steal Warframe Nekros design

>Is it bad if I honestly don't get people who say Cara is hot?
She looks like a teenage boy. She is not sexy unless that's your thing.

literally the only time i can think of in the last 5 years where i teared up a little during a movie scene. too bad the rest of the movie is pretty stupid.

I liked it well enough.

I hated km this movie for the longest time and now I'd say it's one of the better SciFi movies I've seen miles better than alien covenants for example

that's awesome. almost forget how nice was that part, but i really liked the whole movie

movie was great, trailer was great, cara was hot
i'll never understand why plebs hated this

>Cara Delevingne was top tier eye candy
>had some enjoyable action sequences and an interesting plot

I was entertained, which is all that I was asking for at the time.

valerian is the worst film I have ever seen in a theater. by the time the movie got to the dance scene I wanted to fucking kill myself

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